University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

Scene First.

—Gallery in the Palace of King Brown—Large window, the shutters of which are closed—Princess Dumpy discovered seated in a Gothic chair, Guards in attendance—Suivanta brought on by Guards—As curtain rises Guards exit.
Suiv.
Madam, your patience is to me provoking;
I would put up with such affront from no king!
Incarcerated in this model prison;
Except our own—to look no mortal phiz on!
Write to your father—bid him make a racket.

Princess.
I have, but they refused to post my packet.

Suiv.
Couldn't they get it through the office gate;
Or did it much exceed a hundred weight?
For put but heads enough upon the elf,
And you might post the post-master himself.

Princess.
'Twas not its size—but should my sighs transpire,
They feared the weight they might have with my sire.
To bribe the guard I made a vain endeavour,
They're bound to take no note of us whatever.

Suiv.
Song—Suivanta—“Old Joe, or Somebody in the House with Dinah.”

Princess.
If one could hail somebody passing by.

Suiv.
But that old-fashioned window's up so high,
That I can hardly reach to ope the shutter,
And then, perhaps, it looks out on the gutter,
(opens shutter and discovers painted window; on one side the figure of the Princess, on the other a Shepherd)
Oh, madam! oh, your Highness, only see!

Princess.
Why, there's a little figure, just like me;
And gazing on her from the other pane,
A young and very handsome shepherd swain,
Who looks as with her he would be acquainted.

Suiv.
Oh, what a pity that he's only painted!
In his whole figure there is not a flaw,
And finer eyes in glass I never saw.

Princess.
I'll speak to him as though alive he were.

Suiv.
You'd better then address him—“Glass, with care.”

Princess.
Say, gentle shepherd! (the Figure moves)
Ah, I'm all amazement!
The figure sure is moving in the casement!

(the figure of the Princess becomes also animated)
Suiv.
And this moves too! I don't know what's occurring,
But certainly the incident is stirring.

(symphony to glee)
Princess.
Hark! Music, which Jullien's even surpasses.

Suiv.
The window is paned sure with musical glasses.

Glee—“The Wreath.”
Figure of Princess.

Shepherd.

Princess and Suivanta.
Shepherd, tell us, tell us, pray, what can you mean,
What can you mean—by what you seem to say?
Where is this eagle to be seen?
And who, and who is Pastorella, pray?

Suiv.
Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell us more.
(Figures move slowly off)
What is behind—that we've not heard before.
Say on what ground glass you appear to chuzzle us,
And why you've taken all these pains to puzzle us?
(the Figures disappear)
The glass had bubbles in it when 'twas blown,
And these are of them—

Princess.
Whither have they flown?

Suiv.
As with a diamond,—cut out of their pane,
Left us in ours—and but the window, plain,
(window closes)
Like the old story of the bear and fiddle,
Begun, but broke off in the very middle.

Princess.
Would they had stayed—a window should have thrown
More light upon a subject of its own.
I'll tax it with unkindness—

Suiv.
Hold, ma'am, pray,
Windows are taxed enough, another way.
But certainly it wasn't very civil.

Princess.
It opens!

(the Eagle appears at it with the Golden Branch)
Suiv.
(frightened, and dropping on her knees)
Oh, the devil, ma'am, the devil!

Princess.
Suivanta! siily girl, don't be absurd,
'Tis but an eagle—such a noble bird!
Perched in the gutter; why, what can it mean!

Suiv.
The finest gutter percher ever seen.

Princess.
And in its beak it bears a golden sprig.

Suiv.
An eagle with a branch—then, ma'am, I twig—

Princess.
You twig?

Suiv.
Yes; with it give him a slight pat.
And say—“There, take your change, sir, out of that.”

Princess.
Suivanta? Wouldn't that be very bold?

Suiv.
'Twas what the shepherd in the glass foretold
Would happen—and what is to be, you know,
Comes usually to pass.

Princess.
It must be so—
Hand me the talisman, and for a freak
I will go boldly up before the beak!

Suiv.
This eagle may with safety fly a kite
He's gold enough to cash a bill at sight.
What a fine partner in a bank he'd make!
A branch with so much gold would never break.

Music—Suivanta wheels the Princess up to the window, on the side of which the Eagle is perching.
Incantation—Princess—“The Fine Old English Gentleman.”
If you are a bird as you appear to be,
You will not moult a feather at the tickling of this tree,
But if you are a gentleman, upon your honour and word,
Why then behave as such, and be no more a dicky bird.

(touches the Eagle with the branch; the bird disappears and in its place is seen Prince Transimenus)
Suiv.
Oh, Gemini! (continuing air)
He's a fine young fairy gentleman,
One of the modern time.

Princess.
Who are you, sir?

Trans.
With gratitude most fervent,
Madam, I am your very humble servant!

Suiv.
(aside)
Well, that is what I call a handsome chap,
At him I certainly must set my cap!

Trans.
How may I best my gratitude evince?
Speak, and upon my honour as a prince
There's nothing in my power I will refuse.

Suiv.
If he asked me I know what I would choose,
And that's himself!

Princess.
Sir, I am more than paid
In seeing what a charming change I've made,
And only hope 'tis not too bright to last.

Trans.
I've been expecting it for some time past.
Two centuries have now elapsed since I
Was literally forced my realm to fly.
During which time, though always in high feather,
I've been beneath a cloud for years together.
Driven, though a prince, like any common sinner,
To trust to my own talons for a dinner,
Matters have sometimes gone so very ill
I could raise nothing, even on my bill.
Whilst drawn upon by needy bows at sight,
I've had an arrowish escape by flight.
And but for being rather a high mounter
My days had ended in the poultry counter.

Suiv.
Had ever bird so sad a tale to spread?

Trans.
My tale is told—so no more on that head.
But ere I hop the twig—I mean depart—
I must some way relieve my grateful heart.
You (to Princess)
have been put into this cage—excuse—
I mean this prison—because you refuse
To pair with—that is, wed, the ugly chick—
Son, I should say, of an old gun, who'd stick
At nothing which would help his nest to feather,
I mean by which he could scrape wealth together.
But, gentle Princess, banish all alarm,
Beneath my powerful wing—I mean, my arm—
I beg your pardon, it is too absurd,
But when a man has been so long a bird—

Princess.
Pray don't apologise—your meaning's clear.

Trans.
You must no longer mope in sadness here,
But beautiful as you are good and kind,
A lover worthy your affection find!
In Fairy Pastorella's name, behold
In turn I touch you with this branch of gold.
And make you now as lovely as you're kind.
(touches Princess, who springs to her feet and appears as a beautiful Shepherdess, the same as seen in the magic book)
I've changed your person—don't you change your mind.

Suiv.
(whose dress changes at the same time)
Oh! madam, what on earth has come to pass?
I, too, am changed into a rustic lass.

Trans.
And now the fairest, as you are the best,
Come—in Arcadia be by Cupid blest.

Changes to

Scene Second.

—A Pastoral Landscape.
In front, a beech tree, under which Quiver, in shepherd's attire, is seated, playing on a pipe—Prince Peerless, in the costume of the Shepherd seen in the painted window, is reclining on a bank on the opposite side, guarding his sheep.
Trans.
Beneath the shade yon beechen boughs diffuse,
See Tityrus invokes his sylvan muse,
While youthful Corydon recounts his love,
And for his Phillis fills with sighs the grove.

Princess.
O sir, in mercy tell me, who is Phillis?

Trans.
Yourself.

Princess.
Oh! joy.

Trans.
(to Suivanta)
And you are Amaryllis
Till further notice. Take good heed of that,
Nor from the bag emancipate the cat
Until I bid you. Foes are mischief brewing—
Love without prudence leads too oft to ruin.

(Exit Transimenus)
Princess.
He goes.

Suiv.
And don't say when he'll come again.

Princess.
And leaves us here alone—

Suiv.
With two young men!

Princess.
Who won't leave us alone, perhaps—let's run—

Suiv.
It's too late. They have seen us. (aside)
Oh, what fun!
(aloud)
And see where yonder stretched upon the grass
The very shepherd we saw in the glass!

Princess.
Where are we in the name of all the Magi?

Prince.
(addressing Quiver)
“Tityre tu patulœ recubans sub tegmine fagi”—

Princess.
Suivanta! Hark, what language does he speak?

Suiv.
It may be Latin, but to me it's Greek.

Prince and Quiver rise, and advance towards the Ladies; the Prince salutes the Princess, and they retire in conversation, whilst Suivanta addresses Quiver.
Suiv.
Pray, shepherd, can you play upon this pipe!

Quiv.
In course I can.

Suiv.
Then play me “Cherry Ripe.”

Quiv.
What's “Cherry Ripe?”

Suiv.
A song I'm partial to.

Quiv.
Then sing it me—as I can't play it you.

Air—Suivanta—“Cherry Ripe.”
Cherry ripe, cherry ripe—ripe, I cry,
That's the ballad you should buy,
Herrick's sparkling poetry,
Horn's true English melody.
Let the belle of London balls,
Dream she “dwelt in marble halls.”
Let the husband she would get,
Hope they “may be happy yet;”
But cherry ripe, cherry ripe, still I cry,
'Twas a spell, in years gone by.
Must it yield the prize of song
“To “Lucy Neal,” or “Lucy Long?”
No—though Yankees black to view,
May be cherry colour too.
“Old Dan Tucker,” with “Jim Crow,”
To old Virginny back shall go—
And cherry ripe, cherry ripe, still to me,
Shall the sweetest ballad be.

Prince and Princess return—The Prince and Quiver advance and offer garlards, the Prince to the Princess, and Quiver to Suivanta.
Quartette—“Minuet de la Cour and Gavotte de Vestris.”
Prince and Quiv.
Fairest Nymph, all nymphs excelling,
Take this wreath, my passion telling.
Beauty such as thine compelling
Every shepherd's heart to love.

Princess and Suiv.
Gentle swain, the wreath you're weaving,
Pray excuse me from receiving.
Men, alas, there's no believing,
Faithless they too often prove!

Prince and Quiv.
Say, by what name may I address you?

Princess.
Phillis—

Prince.
A goddess I should guess you.

Suiv.
Mine, sir, is Amaryllis.

Quiv.
Bless you!
I never saw your like before.

Prince.
Corydon here the shepherds name me.

Quiv.
“Tityrus dear” the nymphs proclaim me.

Both.
But you alone could thus inflame me.
The lovely Phillis I adore!
Sweet Amaryllis I adore!

Gavotte.
Princess.
Oh! Amaryllis, love has set my heart on fire!

Suiv.
Oh! Phillis, I as deep am in the mire!

Princess.
In quite a fearful fashion for Corydon it burns!

Suiv.
And mine the tender passion of Tityrus returns.

Princess.
Young Corydon without a rival reigns, reigns, reigns!

Suiv.
Sweet Tityrus the sweetest is of swains, swains, swains!

Enter Queen Benignanta, meeting Prince Transimenus, each attended by Shepherds and Shepherdesses.
Chorus—“Acis and Galatea.”
O! the pleasures of the plains,
Happy nymphs and happy swains.
Benignanta! Transimenus!
Joy with them for ever reigns.

Transatlantic Medley Pas de Deux. By Prince Transimenus and Princess.
(Exeunt omnes)
Re-enter Princess, followed by Prince Peerless.
Prince.
Too lovely maid, ah! wherefore dost thou fly me?

Princess.
Sweet shepherd, if you please, don't come a-nigh me.

Prince.
What from her Corydon can Philis fear?

Princess.
Making herself too cheap, and him too dear!
Besides, no longer ought I here to stay.
“The curfew sounds the knell of parting day,
The lowing herds wind slowly o'er the lea,”
And there are yet no lodgings found for me.

Prince.
I have a lodging in Lamb's Conduit Street,
Genteelly furnished, small, but very neat.
To occupy it, if you'll but consent,
I'll never ask you for a farthing's rent.

Princess.
Lodge at a bachelor's! You don't expect
I should do anything so incorrect.
If you were married—

Prince.
'Tis my wish to be,
If lovely Phillis will but marry me.

Princess.
Alas! fond shepherd, I am not of age,
And a stern father did my hand engage
To one of a much higher rank than you.

Prince.
I question that, sweet maid, if all you knew.

Princess.
What! are you not the shepherd that you look?

Prince.
Oh, yes, I am a shepherd (aside)
with a hook!
But in Arcadia princes tend their sheep.

Princess.
Are you a prince?

Prince.
Dear Phillis, can you keep
A secret?

Princess.
(aside)
O, how shall I keep my own?

Prince.
I am a prince, and yet may claim a throne,
Which with my Phillis I would gladly share.

Princess.
Then, shepherd, know I also am—

Trans.
(appearing amongst the trees)
Beware!

Prince.
What voice was that?

Princess.
A friendly warning to me.
For breach of promise somebody might sue me.
O let me fly from you, while fly I can!
Do, there's a dear, good-natured, little man!

Air—Prince—“La Barcarole.”

(Exeunt Prince and Princess)
Enter Quiver and Suivanta.
Quiv.
To Amaryllis love compels my way,
My grazing sheep up Gray's Inn Lane may stray.

Suiv.
You'll lose a lamb while you are following me.

Quiv.
I'm a lost mutton since I gazed on thee!

Suiv.
Am I a bell-wether to lead you so?

Quiv.
You are my belle, whether I will or no!

Suiv.
Go, cast an eye upon your sheep, man, do!

Quiv.
No, let me stay, and cast sheep's eyes at you—
The fairest ewe—the lamb that I would fold
In these fond arms.

Suiv.
Shepherd, you grow too bold.

Quiv.
My passion's growing every moment stronger.
I can't and won't live single any longer.
O, Amaryllis, on your shepherd look,
Mine you must be by hook, love, or by crook.
Regard your Tityrus without a titter,
And say where would you find a husband fitter.

Suiv.
(aside)
A husband?—that deserves consideration.
And yet, to wed a person of his station—
How to refuse him? It is very hard—
If he were but a captain of the guard!

Duet—“The Swiss Girl.”
Quiv.
Oh! hear me, pretty miss!
Come tend the flocks with me,
We'll cut a shine amongst
These boors of Arcady!

Suiv.
No, no, strange doubts my bosom fill—
Though simple maid, I'm not so green
To follow thee—at least, until
The ring and license I have seen.

Quiv.
Oh, come with me, I'll wed you there,
'Pon honour, bright and fair.

Suiv.
No, no, no,—I'm very well here,
Contented, sir, to stay.
I never trust men's honours.
So I wish you, sir, good day!
La, la, la, &c,

Quiv.
Oh! hear me, pretty miss!

Both.
La, li, ut, li, ut!

Quiv.
My cottage shall be thine,
At Shepherd's Bush 'tis found
With kitchen garden, paddock green,
No end of pleasure ground!

Suiv.
No, no, I'd rather single live,
Than wed a man almost unknown:
And find, when I'd no more to give,
I dared not call my soul my own!

Quiv.
Say yes; your slave I'll be with pride,
Oh, say thou'lt be my bride!

Suiv.
No, no, no, I'm very well so,
Contented here I'll stay,
And ever free and happy,
Sing and drive old care away.
La, la, la, &c.

Quiv.
Oh, say thou'lt be my bride!
La, la, la, &c,

(Exit Suivanta)
Quiv.
I die, and death shall finish all my pain!

Enter Prince, hastily.
Prince.
Where's Phillis? I have sought for her in vain!
Speak, wretch, I'm sure thou knowest.

Quiv.
Who, sir? I, sir?
You might as well have asked me “Where's Eliza!”

Prince.
Air—Prince—“Through the Wood.”

(Exeunt Prince and Quiver)

Scene Third.

—A Forest.
Enter Blueruino, who beckons on Humguffin, and Mandragora, then exit.
Man.
Why, how now, brother? you look very grumpy.

Hum.
Have I not reason, beldame? Young Prince Humpy
Has roused Queen Benignanta from her nap,
And Princess Dumpy helped that dandy chap
To cast off the strong pinions that he wore;
And take up arms against us as before.

Man.
Are you sure, brother, that this news is true?

Hum.
Positive; it's in all the papers too:
The Magic Times—the Fairy Morning Post—
The Daily Spectre, and the Evening Ghost.
I just lounged in to take an ice at Grange's,
And saw it headed “Fashionable Changes.”
Read and convince yourself, if you doubt yet,
Here's the Official Conjuror's Gazette.

Man.
(reading)
“Queen Benignanta at the Royal Bower,
Arcadia, from a tour.”

Hum.
Misprint for “Tower.”

Man.
(continuing)
“Prince Transimenus, in Transportman Square,
After a lengthened sojourn in the air.”

Hum.
There's no mistake—Hemlock and Donnabella!
This is the work of that vile Pastorella.
If with her branch of Entertaining Knowledge
She's to shew up the black arts of our college
There'll not be left one superstitious fogie,
And babes will laugh when threatened with Old Bogie!

Man.
What's to be done?

Hum.
Why, all the harm we can
Whilst power is left us o'er the mind of man!
To work with every fiend in darkness nurst!
Let Knowledge do her best—we'll do our worst!

Man.
A mortal footstep! Who comes here so late?

Hum.
A female by the style and by the gate.
Pretty and young. Sister—Ahem! Begone.

Man.
O brother! well, you are a wicked one!

(Exit Mandragora—Humguffin retires)
Enter Princess.
Princess.
In this bewildering wood I've lost my way,
To shun temptation I have gone astray.
A country life will not suit me 'tis plain.
Bred in a court, I'm bothered in a lane,
And in a forest where no road I see,
As Jonathan would say—“I'm up a tree!”
Is there no human being within hail?
Humguffin re-appears disguised as an old man with a staff.
O yes! (to him)
“Turn, gentle hermit of the dale,
And guide my lonely way.”

Hum.
With pleasure, maid.
(aside)
As I'm a conjuror the very jade
Who made a man again of Transimenus—
I owe you one for that, my little Venus!

Duo—Humguffin and Princess.
Hum.
Where are you going to, my pretty maid?

Princess.
Going astray, sir, I'm afraid.

Hum.
What came you into this wood to seek?

Princess.
Lodgings to let, sir, by the week.

Hum.
My wife has an attic, if that will do?

Princess.
O, yes, if you please, sir, and thank you too.

(Exeunt Humguffin and Princess)
Enter Prince.
Prince.
Air—Prince—“Fra poco a me recovero.”

Prince.
Nought can I see, the wood's as dark as pitch!

Re-enter Mandragora.
Man.
Whom seek you, shepherd?

Prince.
Not you, you old witch.

Man.
Old witch!

Prince.
But if you are a witch—be kind
And tell me where I may my Phillis find!

Man.
A shepherdess?

Prince.
Oh, yes, whom I adore.

Man.
Then, silly swain, don't do so any more,
For she's a false one—

Prince.
False one! You're another!

Man.
I say your Phillis bolted with my brother.
But if the chase you are inclined to follow,
Right through the wood I'll give you the view hollow!
Enter Blueruino.
(at a sign from Mandragora Blueruino causes the trees to divide and shew the Enchanter's Castle by moonlight—Humguffin is seen guiding Princess towards it)
Now, shepherd, am I worthy of belief?

Prince.
It is my Phillis! Ho, police! Stop thief!

(Exit hastily)
Man.
Old witch! I'll make you rue that word, young swaggerer,
If I don't witch you, my name's not Mandragora!

(Exit Mandragora)

Scene Fourth.

—The Spirit Vaults, in much the same state they were two hundred years before.
Enter Humguffin and Princess.
Hum.
Walk in and make yourself at home, my dear.

Princess.
At home! Alas, I'm all abroad, I fear;
Are you the master of this house?

Hum.
To shew it,
I'll make you mistress.

Princess.
Not, sir, if I know it.
Where is your wife?

Hum.
My love, I never had one.

Princess.
I'm very much afraid that you're a bad one.
Hence let me fly—

(she attempts to go, but is prevented by Blueruino)
Hum.
Ha, ha! Fly, Princess, do—
My web's too strong for such a fly as you,
You are no shepherdess, but don't look so sheepish;
In love with you I've tumbled rather deepish!
My name's Humguffin.

Princess.
And you look the part.

Hum.
I condescend to offer you my heart—
Be Mrs. Humguffin, and share my pelf—
My palace—

Princess.
I! I think I see myself.

Hum.
Pause ere you answer.

Princess.
No, at once—paws off.

Hum.
Sad is the fate of those at me who scoff,
Observe those bottles, in due order set,
Filled with the strongest spirits I could get;
A drop from one of those, and you would be
A beast, bird, insect, reptile, vile to see—
Therefore once more beware how you decline.

Princess.
Your ardent spirits cannot conquer mine—
“I'd rather be a toad,” as says Othello,
Than wife of such a horrible old fellow!

Hum.
You would!—then, my bold belle, I'll try your mettle,
I have an old account with you to settle.
A toad you shall be, traitress, in a twinkling.
(takes down a vial, and taking out the stopper, sprinkles some of the contents upon her)
This “leprous distillation” o'er you sprinkling—
Confound it!—Somebody has changed the stoppers,
This is the compound essence of grasshoppers!
(the Princess disappears and Grasshopper is seen in her place)
Yes, there she is, a grasshopper.
(the Grasshopper vanishes in the same manner as Princess)
And zounds!
With one spring she has hopped out of my bounds.

Enter Mandragora.
Man.
Oh, brother, I have caught a man.

Hum.
At last!

Man.
Aye, you may sneer, but 'tis of value vast;
I've lured Prince Humpy hither!

Hum.
What, the chap
Who roused Queen Benignanta from her nap?

Man.
The very same—see where he comes, in search
Of your new flame, who left him in the lurch,
The pretty Phillis.

Hum.
Ho! my rival too.
Then his arrival he shall dearly rue.

Man.
Where is the wench?

Hum.
By some unlucky blunder
Turned to a grasshopper—but, fire and thunder!
This meddler shan't escape with so much ease.

Man.
Nay, I shall deal with him, sir, if you please.

Enter Prince.
Prince.
Where is my love? Restore her to my arms.

Man.
Audacious Prince, who has despised my charms,
Your love's a grasshopper!

Prince.
What have I heard?

Man.
And you shall be a little butcher bird
That feeds on grasshoppers—so if you meet her
The chances are you'll snap her up and eat her.

Prince.
I be the butcher of my own pet lamb!
You cannot be in earnest.

Man.
Yes, I am.
And this shall prove.
(takes down a vial and sprinkles him with it—The Prince disappears and a Cricket is seen in his place)
How now! why he's a cricket.
(the Cricket vanishes)
And run to earth before I'd time to stick it.

Hum.
Another blunder! Sister, we're betrayed!
Some bottle imp on us a trick has played,
And changed the draughts without the doctor's order:
Our lab'ratory's in complete disorder.
Of mischief half the spirits gone, and more—
And not a single mixture as before.

The Fairy Pastorella rises.
Fairy.
I rise, sir, to explain—that imp am I.

Hum.
I thought she had some finger in the pie.

Fairy.
The time has come to stop your private still,
With ignorance in darkness brewing ill!
To make of simple mortals beasts and brutes,
The spirit of the age no longer suits.
To your black art she scorns to be a debtor;
Her object is to change man for the better;
And benefiting those e'en who despise her,
Would make men merrier as she makes them wiser,
And while she makes a jest of old wives' stories,
Leaves their bright morals in their ancient glories.

Scene changes to Golden Gardens and Fairy Tree of Entertaining Knowledge in all its Branches—In the hollow of the trunk are seen the Grasshopper and the Cricket.
Enter Prince Transimenus, Queen Benignanta, Suivanta, and Quiver.
Suiv.
I hope we don't intrude, but 'twould appear
To seek intelligence we should come here;
To find our friends we're told this is the ticket.

Fairy.
The Prince is here as merry as a cricket.

Quiv.
To ask after the Princess is it proper?

Fairy.
She's here, and she shall sing like a grasshopper.

(tree opens and discovers the Guardian Spirit of its leaves; the Grasshopper and Cricket disappear)
Enter Prince Peerless and Princess, and Arcadians.
Finale—Prince—“Don Pasquale.”

Solo—Suivanta—“La Truandaise.”
Merrily, merrily,
Ariel-like, beneath the bough here,
Merrily, merrily,
By your leaves shall we live now here?
Merrily, merrily,
Let the “Golden Branch” succeeding
Be a branch to Fortune leading
Mine and me!

Chorus.
Merrily, merrily, &c.