University of Virginia Library

Scene Sixth.

—Grotto in the Gardens of the Palace of Pleasure—Moonlight.
Enter Princess.
Prin.
“A little learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring.”
So I have heard, and now I feel the danger;
The little I have learned about that stranger
Has filled my mind with fatal curiosity,
And made my pulse beat with extreme velocity.
Mamma, I know, would call it an atrocity,
She bears to man so great an animosity,
Whom she describes as hideous to monstrosity—
A creature full of falsehood and ferocity,
Incapable of love or generosity.
But why do I indulge in such verbosity,
Which adds but to my spirits ponderosity,
I'll strive to treat the subject with jocosity.
Grand Medley Scena.
Recit.—“The Power of Love.”
Air.
“Wait for the Waggon.”
(harp music heard behind)
What magic music on the night breeze swells!
Tis from my grotto, built of tuneful shells,
And fragments of the Rock Harmonicon,
A sort of savage Apollonicon.

(the grotto opens, and discovers Leander as the statue of Apollo.)
Leander
(continuing Air).
I do believe you, sweet Princess,
And take you at your word;
I vow to make you happy,
And prove your ma absurd.
So don't mind that she-dragon,
My dear, my lovely bride,
But jump my gallant nag on,
And off with me ride.
Jump, jump my nag on,
And away with me ride.

(jumps down—Princess shrieks and faints upon bank)
Lean.
She faints, and 'tis no feint, she's really fainted!
First here I'll place the miniature I've painted,
Now, while insensible she thus reposes,
I'll test the power of my magic roses.
(produces the red and white roses and place the white one on her heart)
The white one changes not—she can love true!
(puts the red one on her cheek)
The red one tints her cheek—she's coming to!
Abricotina's coming too; 'od rat her!
Where's my red cap?

(retires behind rock piece)
Enter Abricotina.
Abri.
Dear me, ma'am, what's the matter?

Prin.
(rises and looks about)
Abricotina! Oh, I've seen a sight;
A living statue! Such a horrid fright!

Lean.
(aside)
The proverb, this time, is more true than pleasant.

Abri.
Where, madam?

Prin.
Yonder.

Abri.
There's none there at present.

Prin.
No statue?

Abri.
No; the pedestal alone.

Prin.
(aside)
The site remains although the statue's gone!
It spoke some words, my ear that failed to reach.

Abri.
The figure spoke!—a mere figure of speech.

Prin.
It was alive, and did both sing and speak.

Abri.
Ah! then it must have been a pose plastique!

Prin.
A pose plastique! what's that? you pose me now.

Abri.
An endless exhibition.

Prin.
Endless! how?

Abri.
Why, how long they may open keep, who knows?
When every day they're less inclined to close.
Group nods at group—each tableau has its brother,
Trying, the wags say, to outstrip the other.

Prin.
Talk of a tableau—what is this one here?

Abri.
The miniature of some young man—that's clear!
Oh, madam, now you may yourself convince,
For that's the portrait of the stranger Prince!

Prin.
Why, with the statue's face this face agrees,
They are as like each other as two peas!

Abri.
And yet you said it was a horrid fright—

Prin.
That I was in—I did not mean the sight;
But for my fear, I should have been well gratified
To gaze for hours on it!

Lean.
(aside)
My honour's satisfied.

Prin.
And but for my mamma—

Abri.
Mamma! I vow
I had forgotten!—she was here just now,
And brought such news!—We're threatened with invasion.

Prin.
By whom?—for what?

Lean.
(aside)
Here may be an occasion
To prove my love.

Abri.
The Prince of Allaquiz,
Despairing by fair means to make you his,
By force of arms his arms would force you into.

Lean.
(aside)
What! Furibond! the wretch the earth I'll pin to.

Prin.
Double the coast-guard, the militia call out.

Abri.
His army trebles ours when we've called all out.

Prin.
Her fairy host mamma has but to beckon—

Abri.
Ah, madam, there without your host you reckon!
She has deserted us.

Prin.
You never mean it.

Abri.
I'd not believe it if I had not seen it.
No sooner had she set foot in the mansion
Than she cried out, “Oh, love, thy snare who can shun?
A vile male creature has come o'er the water,
And with his flummery will come o'er my daughter.
I came from Furibond's assault to save her.
But since her head's been turned by this young shaver,
Prince Furibond may cut it off, if willing,
And I will cut her off—with a bad shilling!”
With that she jump'd upon her fiery griffin,
And cut herself off, a prodigious miff in!

Prin.
But no male creature, either good or bad,
Have you or I seen.

Abri.
No; I wish I had.

Prin.
Deserted by my magic ma!—oh, dear!

Abri.
Now, madam, don't you wish my Prince was here?

Prin.
Oh, that I do indeed, with all my heart.

Lean.
Have then thy wish!

(appears armed as an Amazon)
Prin.
Oh, mercy!

Lean.
Do not start.
The Prince Leander at thy feet behold.

Prin.
Why, he looks like a woman!

Lean.
Air—“The Standard Bearer.”
(Exit)

Prin.
Too daring Prince—ah, whither dost thou run?
Should he be lost ere Hymen makes us one!
Oh no, the Fates cannot so cruel be.
Be kind a spinster to, ye spinsters three.

Duet—“Charming Judy Callaghan”—Princess and Abricotina.
Ye terrible spinsters three,
Have mercy a love-sick fair upon,
Don't cut a thread which you see
Has of lives a fond young pair upon.
Relive my/her anxious fears,
And bring him to my/her feet again.
Let us/them be like your shears
That only part to meet again.
Don't say no, awful Mrs. Atropos!
Spare a beau who comes to my/her aid so apropos!

(Exeunt)