University of Virginia Library

SCENE III.

—THE COUNCIL-CHAMBER OF KING WHITEHEART.
Enter the King, attended by his Ministers and Guards.
King.
Talk not to me of patience, good Koo-too.
Bah! I could bear barbarity from you,
Rebellion from my subjects; nay, be seen
To be most cruelly hen-pecked by my queen;
But to be ruled, submit myself and nation,
I won't, to any mother-in law's dictation.

Koo-too.
Yet, sire—

King.
Oh yes, I am a sigher, I know,
A sigher after days gone long ago;
When I could do just what I liked, and did it,
Without this tyrant dowager to forbid it.
But I'll take your advice, assert my sway;
Nay, have for dinner what I like this day.
Bring in the bill of fare—at once I'll choose.

Enter Head Cook, with Bill of Fare.—At the same time, the Dowager
Queen Blackheart enters, with Train.
Queen.
You wouldn't me that privilege refuse?
Cook, bring it hither! do you hear? obey!
That is the dish we'll have—now walk away.

King.
But, madam, surely—

Queen.
Surely I know best.
Dismiss your minister!

King.
But I protest—

Queen.
Protest! what's that? Do you, in this dominion
Dare for yourself to form the least opinion?
He is dismissed—I've done it. Feintise, bless her,
My waiting-woman, shall be his successor.

Enter Feintise.
Feintise.
Obedient to your voice, behold, I come;
The reins of government I'll hold like some
Who for the greatest number things have done—
That greatest number being number one.

King.
But, really, this is pitching it too strong!

Queen.
Reflect! my arm's both muscular and long.

King.
It is; I know it—own it—oft have felt it.
Her heart is stone—her vinegar can't e'en melt it.

Enter a Herald.
Herald.
Oh, sire! such news!

King.
Then tell it quick and short.

Herald.
A splendid ship has just put into port.
A Prince and Princess, as I think, are in it.

King.
[Delighted.]
Aha!

Queen.
[Dismayed.]
Aha!

King.
We'll see them—bring them in this minute.

[Exit Herald,
Queen.
[Apart.]
A Prince and Princess!—should it be—

Feintise.
It shan't.

Queen.
Those that we long ago—

Feintise.
It arn't—it can't.

Queen.
My mind misgives me: I'd a dream last night.

Feintise.
And so had I—hot suppers are not right.

Queen.
But pooh!—

Feintise.
Stuff! nonsense!—

Queen.
All such things must be—

Feintise.
To speak politely, violin de dee.

Omnes.
They come!

Enter Cherry and Fair Star, preceded by Pages, bearing presents of Jewels, &c., for the King.
King.
Welcome, illustrious strangers, to our shore!
Our ammunition we fired off before;
But though those forts, in consequence, are mute,
My forte's politeness—here's our royal salute.
[Kisses Fair Star.
Another, in the Prince's honour, too!

Cherry.
He thanks your majesty, but that will do.

Queen.
[Aside.]
Do you see that star? It is—

Feintise.
Hush! not so loud!

Cherry.
We have come to stay.

King.
You really do me proud.

Cherry.
First, as a trifle, pray accept this treasure.

Feintise.
Thank you, the Queen receives it with much pleasure.

Cherry.
The Queen!

Fair Star.
The Queen!

King.
[Confused.]
Yes—that is, the Queen Mother;
I ought to have made you known to one another:
The Dowager Queen Blackheart! How absurd,
But I can't remember names I never heard.

Cherry.
Cherry, and Fair Star!

King.
To be sure, of course—
The more you see of her, you'll like her worse.

Queen.
Those features—yes!—'tis eighteen years this day!
My smelling bottle, quick—I faint away.

[Exit Queen, hastily.
Feintise.
She swoons—you ought to be ashamed—but hence,
Burnt feathers, sal volatile, and scents.

[Exeunt Feintise and Blackheart Guards.
Cherry.
The lady seems amazed!

Fair Star.
That swoon's no sham.

King.
Ah! you are not yet used to her—I am.
Now she stands nearest to our royal throne.
Once on a time I had heirs, but they are gone:
There's no Circassian cream in all this town
Which can restore lost heirs to this same crown.

Enter Feintise.
Feintise.
The Queen demands your presence.

King.
Eh? What more!
She had all the presents that were brought before.
Well, well, I'm coming. Pray excuse me now,
I see our royal self is in a row.

[Exeunt King Whiteheart and Guards.
Feintise.
You are some great King's children, I don't doubt it.

Fair S.
We really don't know very much about it;
It's not unlikely, though.

Feintise.
She right suspected.
Wrecked, and not die.

Fair S.
But here we were directed.

Feintise.
Ah! all you want to make you happy, daughter,
Is the Singing Apple and the Dancing Water.

Fair S.
The Singing Apple?

Cherry.
Where do you find those fellers?
Oh, happily singing at the Cider Cellars.

Feintise.
Only to smell it, makes you talk quite witty.
The Dancing Water keeps you ever pretty.

Fair S.
That would be nice!

Feintise.
Then, have you never heard
Of that great rarity, the Talking Bird?

Fair S.
Never!

Feintise.
Why that tells everything on earth,
And would disclose the secret of your birth.

Fair S.
Oh! that we must have; Cherry, step and fetch it.

Feintise.
You'll have to go a great way off to catch it.
But reach the mountains of perpetual snow,
You'll catch it very nicely there, I know.

Fair S.
Expose yourself to danger, Cherry, don't you;
But these you'll get for Fair Star, Cherry, won't you?

Feintise.
[Aside.]
My hints, I see, have made a strong impression.

Cherry.
Consider them all three in your possession.
At once I'll go, for what my love wants yet,
Never shall Fair Star say she couldn't get.

QUINTETTE and CHORUS.—Air, ‘Off she goes.’
Cherry.
Think no more of the danger run,
Consider it just the same as done;
In me you behold, what some folks call,
A nice young man for a party small.

Fair S.
I really don't like you to go at the price,
It's quite an alarming sacrifice.

Queen.
[Entering.]
Oh! say, is it done? Succeeds my plan?

Omnes.
Oh! he's a remarkably brave young man.

Chorus.
Off on his journey away he goes;
He can't mistake if he follows his nose.
But only think of the danger ran;
He is a remarkably brave young man.

King.
The thought of such valour inflames my heart.
Take a bit of cold something before you start.

Queen.
[Aside.]
A bitter cold journey he'll have o'er the snow.

King.
Wouldn't you rather? Don't say no.
As for Miss Fair Star, fear her not.

Queen.
Long since she should have been—never mind what.

Cherry.
The apple and all to you I'll give,
And we'll ever afterwards happily live.

[Chorus repeated.—Exeunt Omnes, and change of Scene to