 | The Revenge |  |
Act I.
Scene I.
JUPITER.Recitative.
I swear by Styx, this usage is past bearing;
My lady Juno ranting, tearing, swearing!
Why, what the devil will my godship do,
If blows and thunder cannot tame a shrew?
My lady Juno ranting, tearing, swearing!
Why, what the devil will my godship do,
If blows and thunder cannot tame a shrew?
208
Though the loud thunder rumbles,
Though storms rend the sky;
Yet louder she grumbles,
And swells the sharp cry.
Though storms rend the sky;
Yet louder she grumbles,
And swells the sharp cry.
Her jealousy teasing,
Disgusting her form:
Her music as pleasing
As pigs in a storm.
Disgusting her form:
Her music as pleasing
As pigs in a storm.
I fly her embraces,
To wenches more fair;
And leave her wry faces,
Cold sighs, and despair.
To wenches more fair;
And leave her wry faces,
Cold sighs, and despair.
And oh! ye tedious minutes, steal away;
Come evening, close the folding doors of day;
Night, spread thy sable petticoat around,
And sow thy poppies on the slumbering ground;
Then raving into love, and drunk with charms,
I'll lose my Juno's tongue in Maia's arms.
Air.
Come evening, close the folding doors of day;
Night, spread thy sable petticoat around,
And sow thy poppies on the slumbering ground;
Then raving into love, and drunk with charms,
I'll lose my Juno's tongue in Maia's arms.
Sighing,
Dying,
Lying,
Frying,
In the furnace of desire;
Creeping,
Sleeping,
Oh! how slow the hours retire!
When the busy heart is beating,
When the bosom's all on fire,
Oh! how welcome is the meeting!
Oh! how slow the hours retire!
Recitative.
Dying,
209
Frying,
In the furnace of desire;
Creeping,
Sleeping,
Oh! how slow the hours retire!
When the busy heart is beating,
When the bosom's all on fire,
Oh! how welcome is the meeting!
Oh! how slow the hours retire!
But see—my Fury comes; by Styx, I tremble:
I'll creep aside—'tis folly to dissemble.
I'll creep aside—'tis folly to dissemble.
Scene II.
Juno, Jupiter.JUNO.
Recitative.
See, see, my good man steals aside!
In spite of his thunder,
I make him knock under,
And own the superior right of a bride.
Air.
In spite of his thunder,
I make him knock under,
And own the superior right of a bride.
How happy the life
Of a governing wife,
How charming, how easy, the swift minutes pass;
Let her do what she will,
The husband is still,
And but for his horns you would think him an ass.
How happy the spouse
In his dignified brows;
How worthy with heroes and monarchs to class:
Both above and below,
Experience will shew,
But take off the horns, and each husband's an ass.
Of a governing wife,
How charming, how easy, the swift minutes pass;
Let her do what she will,
The husband is still,
And but for his horns you would think him an ass.
210
In his dignified brows;
How worthy with heroes and monarchs to class:
Both above and below,
Experience will shew,
But take off the horns, and each husband's an ass.
JUPITER.
Recitative.
[Aside
Zounds, I'll take heart of grace, and brave her clapper;
And, if my courage holds, egad, I'll strap her:
Through all Olympus shall the thunders roll,
And earth shall echo to the mustard-bowl;
Should she prove sturdy, by the Lord, I'll heave hence,
Down to some brandy shop, this noisy grievance.
Air.
Zounds, I'll take heart of grace, and brave her clapper;
And, if my courage holds, egad, I'll strap her:
Through all Olympus shall the thunders roll,
And earth shall echo to the mustard-bowl;
Should she prove sturdy, by the Lord, I'll heave hence,
Down to some brandy shop, this noisy grievance.
What means this horrid rattle?
And must that tongue of riot
Wage one eternal battle
With happiness and quiet?
And must that tongue of riot
Wage one eternal battle
With happiness and quiet?
JUNO.
Air continued.
What means your saucy question?
D'ye think I mind your bluster?
Your godship's always best in
Words, thunder, noise, and fluster.
D'ye think I mind your bluster?
Your godship's always best in
Words, thunder, noise, and fluster.
JUPITER.
Recitative.
Hence, thou eternal tempest, from our regions,
And yell in concert with infernal legions:
Hence, or be calm—our will is fate—away hence,
Or on the lightning's wings you'll find conveyance.
And yell in concert with infernal legions:
Hence, or be calm—our will is fate—away hence,
Or on the lightning's wings you'll find conveyance.
211
Recitative.
I brave your vengeance—
JUPITER.
Oh! 'tis most provoking!
JUNO.
Should not my spirit better my condition,
I've one way left—remonstrance and petition
To all the gods in senate: 'tis no joking—
Air.
I've one way left—remonstrance and petition
To all the gods in senate: 'tis no joking—
I will never tamely bear
All my wrongs and slights, sir;
Heaven and all the gods shall hear
How you spend your nights, sir:
Drinking, swearing,
Roaring, tearing,
Wenching, roving everywhere;
Whilst poor I
At home must lie,
Wishing, scheming,
Sighing, dreaming,
Grasping nothing but the air.
All my wrongs and slights, sir;
Heaven and all the gods shall hear
How you spend your nights, sir:
Drinking, swearing,
Roaring, tearing,
Wenching, roving everywhere;
Whilst poor I
At home must lie,
Wishing, scheming,
Sighing, dreaming,
Grasping nothing but the air.
JUPITER.
Recitative.
O how shall I escape the swelling clatter—
I'll slit her tongue, and make short work o'th' matter.
Air.
I'll slit her tongue, and make short work o'th' matter.
Fury, cease,
Give me peace,
Still your racket,
Or your jacket
I'll be drubbing,
For your snubbing;
By the gods, you shall knock under.
Must you ever
Thus endeavour,
Rumbling,
Grumbling,
Rowling,
Growling,
To outsound the noisy thunder?
Give me peace,
212
Or your jacket
I'll be drubbing,
For your snubbing;
By the gods, you shall knock under.
Must you ever
Thus endeavour,
Rumbling,
Grumbling,
Rowling,
Growling,
To outsound the noisy thunder?
JUNO.
Recitative.
[Aside.
Ah! I'm quite out here—plaguily mistaken—
The man's in earnest—I must save my bacon;
Since scolding but provokes him,
A method I'll pursue.
I'll soothe him, tickle, coax him,
Then I shall have my due.
Air.
Ah! I'm quite out here—plaguily mistaken—
The man's in earnest—I must save my bacon;
Since scolding but provokes him,
A method I'll pursue.
I'll soothe him, tickle, coax him,
Then I shall have my due.
Ah, cruel, cruel Jove,
And is it thus a love,
So pure, so chaste, so strong as mine,
Is slighted, disrespected,
Unnoticed and neglected,
Returned with such a love as thine?
And is it thus a love,
So pure, so chaste, so strong as mine,
Is slighted, disrespected,
Unnoticed and neglected,
Returned with such a love as thine?
JUPITER.
Air.
Did the foolish passion tease ye,
Would you have a husband please ye,
Suppliant, pliant, amorous, easy?
Never rate him like a fury:
By experience I'll assure ye,
Kindness, and not rage, must cure ye.
Would you have a husband please ye,
213
Never rate him like a fury:
By experience I'll assure ye,
Kindness, and not rage, must cure ye.
JUNO.
Recitative.
[Aside.
He's in the right on't—hits it to a tittle—
But Juno must display her tongue a little.
Air.
He's in the right on't—hits it to a tittle—
But Juno must display her tongue a little.
I own my error, I repent;
Let thy sparkling eyes behold me,
Let thy lovely arms infold me;
Let thy stubborn heart relent.
Let thy sparkling eyes behold me,
Let thy lovely arms infold me;
Let thy stubborn heart relent.
JUPITER.
Recitative.
Egad, why this is more than I desire,
'Tis from the frying-pan to meet the fire;
Zounds, I've no stomach to the marriage-bed;
But something must be either sung or said.
Air.
'Tis from the frying-pan to meet the fire;
Zounds, I've no stomach to the marriage-bed;
But something must be either sung or said.
What is love? the wise despise it;
'Tis a bubble blown for boys:
Gods and heroes should not prize it,
Jove aspires to greater joys.
'Tis a bubble blown for boys:
Gods and heroes should not prize it,
Jove aspires to greater joys.
JUNO.
Air continued.
What is love? 'tis nature's treasure,
'Tis the storehouse of her joys;
'Tis the highest heaven of pleasure,
'Tis a bliss which never cloys.
'Tis the storehouse of her joys;
'Tis the highest heaven of pleasure,
'Tis a bliss which never cloys.
214
Air continued.
What is love? an air-blown bubble,
Only silly fools receive it:
'Tis a magazine of trouble;
'Tis but folly—thus I leave it.
[Jupiter runs off.
Only silly fools receive it:
'Tis a magazine of trouble;
'Tis but folly—thus I leave it.
Scene III.
JUNO.Recitative.
Well, he is gone, and I may curse my fate,
That linked my gentle love to such a mate;
He neither fills my freezing bed, my heart, nor
My vainly-folding arms: oh! such a partner!
Air.
That linked my gentle love to such a mate;
He neither fills my freezing bed, my heart, nor
My vainly-folding arms: oh! such a partner!
When a woman's tied down
To a spiritless log,
Let her fondle or frown,
Yet still he's a clog.
Let her please her own mind,
Abroad let her roam;
Abroad she may find
What she can't find at home.
To a spiritless log,
Let her fondle or frown,
Yet still he's a clog.
Let her please her own mind,
Abroad let her roam;
Abroad she may find
What she can't find at home.
Scene IV.
Juno and Cupid.CUPID.
Recitative.
Ho! mistress Juno—here's a storm a-brewing—
Your devil of a spouse is always doing—
Pray step aside—this evening, I protest,
Jove and Miss Maia—you may guess the rest—
Your devil of a spouse is always doing—
215
Jove and Miss Maia—you may guess the rest—
JUNO.
How! what? when? where?—nay, pri'thee now, unfold it.
CUPID.
'Gad—so I will; for, faith, I cannot hold it.
His mighty godship in a fiery flurry
Met me just now—confusion to his hurry!
I stopt his way, forsooth, and, with a thwack,
He laid a thunderbolt across my back:
Bless me! I feel it now—my short ribs ache yet—
I vowed revenge, and now, by Styx, I'll take it.
Miss Maia, in her chamber, after nine,
Receives the thunderer, in his robes divine.
I undermined it all; see, here's the letter—
Could dukes spell worse, whose tutors spelt no better?
You know false spelling now is much the fashion—
JUNO.
Lend me your drops—oh! I shall swoon with passion!
I'll tear her eyes out! oh! I'll stab—I'll strangle!
And worse than lover's English, her I'll mangle!
CUPID.
Nay, pray be calm; I've hit off an expedient
To do you right—
JUNO.
Sweet Cupid, your obedient—
216
Tie Maia by the leg; steal in her stead
Into the smuggled raptures of her bed;
When the god enters, let him take possession.
JUNO.
An excellent scheme! My joy's beyond expression!
CUPID.
Nay, never stay; delaying may confute it.
JUNO.
O happy thought! I fly to execute it.
[Exit Juno.
Scene V.
Cupid.Recitative.
See how she flies, whilst warring passions shake her,
Nor thought nor lightning now can overtake her.
Air.
Nor thought nor lightning now can overtake her.
How often in the marriage state
The wise, the sensible, the great,
Find misery and woe;
Though, should we dive in nature's laws
To trace the first primæval cause,
The wretch is self-made so.
Air changes.
The wise, the sensible, the great,
Find misery and woe;
Though, should we dive in nature's laws
To trace the first primæval cause,
The wretch is self-made so.
Love's a pleasure, solid, rëal,
Nothing fanciful, ideal,
'Tis the bliss of human kind;
All the other passions move
In subjection under Love,
'Tis the tyrant of the mind.
Nothing fanciful, ideal,
'Tis the bliss of human kind;
All the other passions move
In subjection under Love,
'Tis the tyrant of the mind.
217
Scene VI.
Cupid, Bacchus with a bowl.BACCHUS.
Recitative.
'Odsniggers, t'other draught, 'tis devilish heady,
Olympus turns about; (staggers) steady, boys, steady!
Air.
Olympus turns about; (staggers) steady, boys, steady!
If Jove should pretend that he governs the skies,
I swear by this liquor his thundership lies;
A slave to his bottle, he governs by wine,
And all must confess he's a servant of mine.
Air changes.
I swear by this liquor his thundership lies;
A slave to his bottle, he governs by wine,
And all must confess he's a servant of mine.
Rosy, sparkling, powerful wine,
All the joys of life are thine!
Search the drinking world around,
Bacchus everywhere sits crowned:
Whilst we lift the flowing bowl,
Unregarded thunders roll.
Air changes.
All the joys of life are thine!
Search the drinking world around,
Bacchus everywhere sits crowned:
Whilst we lift the flowing bowl,
Unregarded thunders roll.
Since man, as says each bearded sage,
Is but a piece of clay,
Whose mystic moisture lost by age,
To dust it falls away;
'Tis orthodox beyond a doubt,
That drought will only fret it;
To make the brittle stuff hold out,
Is thus to drink and wet it.
Recitative.
Is but a piece of clay,
Whose mystic moisture lost by age,
To dust it falls away;
'Tis orthodox beyond a doubt,
That drought will only fret it;
To make the brittle stuff hold out,
Is thus to drink and wet it.
Ah! Master Cupid, 'slife, I did not s'ye,
'Tis excellent champagne, and so here's t'ye:
I brought it to these gardens as imported,
'Tis monstrous strong—you need not twice be courted.
Come drink, my boy—
'Tis excellent champagne, and so here's t'ye:
218
'Tis monstrous strong—you need not twice be courted.
Come drink, my boy—
CUPID.
Hence, monster, hence! I scorn thy flowing bowl,
It prostitutes the sense, degenerates the soul.
BACCHUS.
Gadso, methinks the youngster's woundy moral!
He plays with ethics like a bell and coral.
Air.
He plays with ethics like a bell and coral.
'Tis madness to think
To judge ere you drink,—
The bottom all wisdom contains:
Then let you and I
Now drink the bowl dry,
We both shall grow wise for our pains.
To judge ere you drink,—
The bottom all wisdom contains:
Then let you and I
Now drink the bowl dry,
We both shall grow wise for our pains.
CUPID.
Pray keep your distance, beast, and cease your bawling,
Or with this dart I'll send you catterwauling.
Air.
Or with this dart I'll send you catterwauling.
The charms of wine cannot compare
With the soft raptures of the fair:
Can drunken pleasures ever find
A place with love and womankind?
With the soft raptures of the fair:
Can drunken pleasures ever find
A place with love and womankind?
Can the full bowl pretend to vie
With the soft languish of the eye?
Can the mad roar our passions move,
Like gentle breathing sighs of love?
With the soft languish of the eye?
Can the mad roar our passions move,
Like gentle breathing sighs of love?
219
Go whine and complain
To the girls of the plain,
And sigh out your soul ere she come to the mind;
My mistress is here,
And, faith, I don't fear—
I always am happy, she always is kind.
Air changes.
To the girls of the plain,
And sigh out your soul ere she come to the mind;
My mistress is here,
And, faith, I don't fear—
I always am happy, she always is kind.
A pox o' your lasses!
A shot of my glasses
Your arrow surpasses;
For nothing but asses
Will draw in your team;
Whilst thus I am drinking,
My misery sinking,
The cannikin clinking,
I'm lost to all thinking,
And care is a dream.
A shot of my glasses
Your arrow surpasses;
For nothing but asses
Will draw in your team;
Whilst thus I am drinking,
My misery sinking,
The cannikin clinking,
I'm lost to all thinking,
And care is a dream.
CUPID.
Provoking insolence!
BACCHUS.
What words it utters!
Alas! poor little creature, how it sputters!
CUPID.
Away, you drunkard wild—
BACCHUS.
Away, you silly child—
CUPID.
Fly, or else I'll wound thy soul.
BACCHUS.
Zounds, I'll drown thee in the bowl!
220
You rascally broacher,
You hogshead of liquor—
BACCHUS.
You shadow, you poacher!
Aha!—bring me a stick here—
I'll give you a trimmer,
You bladder of air—
CUPID.
You soul of a brimmer—
BACCHUS.
You tool of the fair—
CUPID.
You moveable tun,
You tippler, you sot—
BACCHUS.
Nay, then the work's done,
My arrow is shot.
[Bacchus throws the contents of the bowl in Cupid's face, and runs off.
Scene VII.
Cupid.Recitative.
Kind usage this—it sorely shall befall him—
Here's my best arrow, and, by heaven, I'll maul him.
Revenge! revenge! Oh, how I long to wound him;
Now all the pangs of slighted love confound him!
Here's my best arrow, and, by heaven, I'll maul him.
Revenge! revenge! Oh, how I long to wound him;
Now all the pangs of slighted love confound him!
221
No more in the bowl
His brutalized soul
Shall find a retreat from the lass:
I'll pay him,
And slay him,
His love shall be dry as his glass.
His brutalized soul
Shall find a retreat from the lass:
I'll pay him,
And slay him,
His love shall be dry as his glass.
[Exit.
End of the First Act.
| The Revenge | |