 | The Revenge |  |
ACT II.
SCENE I.
Bacchus,with his bowl on his head.
Air.
Alas, alas! how fast
I feel my spirits sinking;
The joys of life are past,
I've lost the power of drinking.
'Egad, I find at last
The heavenly charms of tinking,
And in the sound I cast
The miseries of thinking.
Recitative.
I feel my spirits sinking;
The joys of life are past,
I've lost the power of drinking.
'Egad, I find at last
The heavenly charms of tinking,
And in the sound I cast
The miseries of thinking.
I'm plaguy ill—in devilish bad condition—
What shall I do?—I'll send for a physician:
But then the horrid fees—aye, there's the question—
'Tis losing all a man's estate in jesting,
Whilst nurses and apothecaries pártake—
Zounds, this will never do, 'twill make my heartache.
Come then, ye fiddlers, play up t'other bout,
I've a new nostrum, and I'll sing it out.
What shall I do?—I'll send for a physician:
But then the horrid fees—aye, there's the question—
'Tis losing all a man's estate in jesting,
Whilst nurses and apothecaries pártake—
Zounds, this will never do, 'twill make my heartache.
Come then, ye fiddlers, play up t'other bout,
I've a new nostrum, and I'll sing it out.
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Scrape, ye fiddlers, tinkle, tinkle,
Music makes my twinklers twinkle;
Humming,
Thrumming,
Groaning,
Toning,
Squeaking,
Shrieking,
Bawling,
Squalling,
O the sweet charms of tinkle, tinkle!
Recitative.
Music makes my twinklers twinkle;
Humming,
Thrumming,
Groaning,
Toning,
Squeaking,
Shrieking,
Bawling,
Squalling,
O the sweet charms of tinkle, tinkle!
But this is trifling with the hot disease,
Nor wine nor brandy now can give me ease.
Air.
Nor wine nor brandy now can give me ease.
When a jolly toper ails,
And his nectar-bottle fails,
He's in a most heavenly condition:
Unless he can drink,
To the grave he must sink,
And Death be his only physician.
Recitative.
And his nectar-bottle fails,
He's in a most heavenly condition:
Unless he can drink,
To the grave he must sink,
And Death be his only physician.
Zounds, can't I guess the cause—hum—could I say a
Short prayer or two, with pretty Mistress Maia?
Ah! there it is! why, I was woundy stupid—
Faith, this is all the handy-work of Cupid.
Short prayer or two, with pretty Mistress Maia?
Ah! there it is! why, I was woundy stupid—
Faith, this is all the handy-work of Cupid.
Since I'm in love then, over ears and head in,
'Tis time to look about for bed and bedding;
But first uncovering, in this magic helmet
I'll shew the God that love and wine are well met.
'Tis time to look about for bed and bedding;
But first uncovering, in this magic helmet
I'll shew the God that love and wine are well met.
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Fill the bowl, and fill it high,
Vast as the extended sky!
Since the dire disease is found,
Wine's a balm to cure the wound.
O the rapturous delights,
When with women wine unites!
Recitative.
Vast as the extended sky!
Since the dire disease is found,
Wine's a balm to cure the wound.
O the rapturous delights,
When with women wine unites!
O here, my satyrs, fill the mighty cup,
Haste, fly, begone! I'm dying for a sup.
Air.
Haste, fly, begone! I'm dying for a sup.
I'll fly to her arms,
And rifle her charms,
In kisses and compliments lavish:
When heated by wine,
If she should not incline,
I'll try all my courage, and ravish.
And rifle her charms,
In kisses and compliments lavish:
When heated by wine,
If she should not incline,
I'll try all my courage, and ravish.
Scene II.
A dark Room.Juno.
Recitative.
Now, Master Jupiter, I'll catch you napping—
'Gad, you'll be finely hamper'd your own trap in.
Would every husband follow your example,
And take upon himself his own adorning,
No more would wives upon their trammels trample,
No more would stand the ancient trade of horning.
Air.
'Gad, you'll be finely hamper'd your own trap in.
Would every husband follow your example,
And take upon himself his own adorning,
No more would wives upon their trammels trample,
No more would stand the ancient trade of horning.
What wife but, like me,
Her husband would see
A rakehelly fellow, a ranter, a rover,
If, mistaking her charms,
He should die in her arms,
And lose the cold spouse in the warmth of the lover?
Recitative.
Her husband would see
A rakehelly fellow, a ranter, a rover,
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He should die in her arms,
And lose the cold spouse in the warmth of the lover?
Impatiently I wait—
Air.
Hark, hark! the God approaches,
He longs to ease his pain;
Oh, how this love encroaches
Through every trembling vein.
Oh, how my passion's rising,
And thumping in my breast!
'Tis something most surprising,
I shall be doubly blest.
Recitative.
He longs to ease his pain;
Oh, how this love encroaches
Through every trembling vein.
Oh, how my passion's rising,
And thumping in my breast!
'Tis something most surprising,
I shall be doubly blest.
He's here—Now prosper, Love, my undertaking.
I'll steal aside—I'm in a piteous quaking.
I'll steal aside—I'm in a piteous quaking.
Scene III.
Juno and Bacchus.BACCHUS.
Recitative.
Now, pretty Mistress Maia, I'm your humble—
But faith, I'd better look before I tumble:
For should the little gipsy make resistance,
And call in witnesses to her assistance,
Then, Bacchus, should your friends or sister fail ye,
You'll look confounded queer at the Old Bailey.
But faith, I'd better look before I tumble:
For should the little gipsy make resistance,
And call in witnesses to her assistance,
Then, Bacchus, should your friends or sister fail ye,
You'll look confounded queer at the Old Bailey.
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The man that has no friend at court,
Must make the laws confine his sport;
But he that has, by dint of flaws,
May make his sport confine the laws.
Recitative.
Must make the laws confine his sport;
But he that has, by dint of flaws,
May make his sport confine the laws.
Zounds! I've a project, and a fine one too—
What will not passion and invention do?
I'll imitate the voice and sound of Jove,
The girl's ambition won't withstand his love.
But should she squawl, and cry a rape, and scream on't,
Presto, I'm gone, and Jove will bear the blame on't.
The farce begins, the prologue's wonderous teasing,
Pray Cupid, the catastrophe be pleasing!
Air.
What will not passion and invention do?
I'll imitate the voice and sound of Jove,
The girl's ambition won't withstand his love.
But should she squawl, and cry a rape, and scream on't,
Presto, I'm gone, and Jove will bear the blame on't.
The farce begins, the prologue's wonderous teasing,
Pray Cupid, the catastrophe be pleasing!
Oh! where is my Maia? O say
What shadow conceals the fair maid?
Bring hither the lantern of day,
And shew me where Maia is laid.
Envious vapours, fly away;
Come, ye streaming lights, discover,
To an ardent, dying lover,
Maia and the charms of day.
What shadow conceals the fair maid?
Bring hither the lantern of day,
And shew me where Maia is laid.
Envious vapours, fly away;
Come, ye streaming lights, discover,
To an ardent, dying lover,
Maia and the charms of day.
JUNO.
Recitative.
[Aside.
I have you fast—by all my wrongs, I'll fit ye—
Wise as you are, perhaps I may outwit ye.
Air.
I have you fast—by all my wrongs, I'll fit ye—
Wise as you are, perhaps I may outwit ye.
Here thy longing Maia lies,
Passion flaming in her eyes;
Whilst her heart
Is thumping, beating,
All in a heat, in
Every part:
Like the ocean,
All commotion,
Through her veins the billows roll,
And the soft tempest ruffles all her soul.
Passion flaming in her eyes;
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Is thumping, beating,
All in a heat, in
Every part:
Like the ocean,
All commotion,
Through her veins the billows roll,
And the soft tempest ruffles all her soul.
BACCHUS.
Recitative.
[Aside.
Gods! I have struck upon the very minute;
I shall be happy, or the devil's in it:
It seems some assignation was intended,
I'd pump it—but least said is soonest mended.
Air.
Gods! I have struck upon the very minute;
I shall be happy, or the devil's in it:
It seems some assignation was intended,
I'd pump it—but least said is soonest mended.
Happy, happy, happy hour!
Cupid now exalts his power;
In my breast the passion raging,
All my trembling frame engaging,
Sets my every sense on fire;
Let us, Maia, now retire.
Cupid now exalts his power;
In my breast the passion raging,
All my trembling frame engaging,
Sets my every sense on fire;
Let us, Maia, now retire.
JUNO.
Recitative.
But say, should I resign my virgin charms,
Would you be ever constant to my arms?
Would not your Juno rob me of your kindness?
Must you not truckle to her royal highness?
Would you be ever constant to my arms?
Would not your Juno rob me of your kindness?
Must you not truckle to her royal highness?
BACCHUS.
No! by the dirty waves of Styx I swear it,
My love is yours—my wife shall never share it.
227
aside.
'Tis a sad compliment, but I must bear it.
BACCHUS.
Air.
Then let's away,
And never delay,
'Tis folly to stay
From rapture and love:
I sicken, I die;
O come, let us fly,
From the blue vaulted sky
To the Paphian Grove.
And never delay,
'Tis folly to stay
From rapture and love:
I sicken, I die;
O come, let us fly,
From the blue vaulted sky
To the Paphian Grove.
JUNO.
Then away!
I obey
Love and nature.
BACCHUS.
Since 'tis so,
Let us go,
Dearest creature!
Scene IV.
Juno, Bacchus, Jupiter.JUPITER.
Recitative.
I heard a voice within, or else I'm tipsy—
Maia, where are you? Come, you little gipsy.
Maia, where are you? Come, you little gipsy.
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Maia's with me, sir; who the devil are ye?
Sirrah, be gone; I'll trim you if you tarry.
JUPITER.
Fine lingo this to Jupiter!—why truly
I'm Jove the thunderer—
JUNO.
Out, you rascal, you lie—
BACCHUS.
'Tis I am Jupiter, I wield the thunder!
Zounds, I'll sneak off before they find the blunder.
[Aside.
JUPITER.
Breaking from above, below,
Flow, ye gleams of morning, flow;
Rise, ye glories of the day,
Rise at once with strengthened ray!
[Sudden light; all astonished.
BACCHUS.
Zounds! what can this mean?
JUNO.
I am all confusion!
JUPITER.
Your pardon, Juno, for this rude intrusion.
Insatiate monster! I may now be jealous;
If I've my mistresses, you have your fellows:
I'm now a very husband without doubt,
I feel the honours of my forehead sprout.
Insatiate monster! I may now be jealous;
If I've my mistresses, you have your fellows:
I'm now a very husband without doubt,
I feel the honours of my forehead sprout.
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Was it for this, from morning to night,
Tempests and hurricanes dwelt on your tongue;
Ever complaining of coldness and slight,
And the same peal was eternally rung?
Was it for this I was stinted of joy,
Pleasure and happiness banished my breast,
Poisoned with fondness which ever must cloy,
Pinned to your sleeve, and denied to be blest?
Recitative.
Tempests and hurricanes dwelt on your tongue;
Ever complaining of coldness and slight,
And the same peal was eternally rung?
Was it for this I was stinted of joy,
Pleasure and happiness banished my breast,
Poisoned with fondness which ever must cloy,
Pinned to your sleeve, and denied to be blest?
I swear by Styx, and that's a horrid oath,
I'll have revenge, and that upon you both.
I'll have revenge, and that upon you both.
JUNO.
Nay, hear me, Jove, by all that's serious, too,
I swear I took the drunken dog for you.
BACCHUS.
And with as safe a conscience, I can say, as
I now stand here, I thought the chamber Maia's.
JUPITER.
It cannot be—
Air.
I'll not be cheated,
Nor be treated
Like the plaything of your will.
Nor be treated
Like the plaything of your will.
JUNO.
I'll not be slighted,
I'll be righted,
And I'll keep my spirits still.
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[To Bacchus.
You pitiful cully—
JUNO AND BACCHUS.
[To Jupiter.
You rakehelly bully,
Your blustering,
Clattering,
Flustering,
Spattering,
Thundering,
Blundering,
I defy.
JUPITER.
Go mind your toping,
Never come groping
Into my quarters, I desire, sir:
Here you come horning,
And adorning—
JUNO.
You are a liar, sir.
BACCHUS.
You lie, sir, you lie.
Scene V.
Juno, Bacchus, Jupiter, Cupid.CUPID.
Recitative.
Here are the lovers all at clapper-clawing;
A very pretty scene for Collett's drawing.
Oh, oh, immortals, why this catterwauling?
Through all Olympus I have heard your bawling.
A very pretty scene for Collett's drawing.
Oh, oh, immortals, why this catterwauling?
Through all Olympus I have heard your bawling.
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Ah! Cupid, your fine plotting, with a pox,
Has set [your victims] all in the wrong box.
Unravel quickly, for the Thunderer swears
To pull creation down about our ears.
CUPID.
Air.
Attend! attend! attend!
God, demi-god, and fiend,
Mortals and immortals see,
Hither turn your wondering eyes,
See the rulers of the skies
Conquered all, and slaves to me!
God, demi-god, and fiend,
Mortals and immortals see,
Hither turn your wondering eyes,
See the rulers of the skies
Conquered all, and slaves to me!
JUPITER.
Recitative.
Pox o' your brawling! haste, unriddle quickly,
Or, by the thunder of my power, I'll tickle ye!
Or, by the thunder of my power, I'll tickle ye!
CUPID.
You, Jove, as punctual to your assignation,
Came here, with Maia to be very happy;
But Juno, out of a fond inclination,
Stepped in her room, of all your love to trap ye.
Struck by my power, which the slave dared despise,
Bacchus was wounded too by Maia's eyes,
And hither stealing to appease his love,
Thought Juno Maia; she thought Bacchus Jove.
Here rests the matter:—are you all contented?
JUNO.
No, no! not I—
BACCHUS.
[Aside.
I'm glad I was prevented.
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A lucky disappointment, on my life,
All love is thrown away upon a wife:
How sad! my interruption could not please her.
She moves my pity—
CUPID.
Soften, Jove, and ease her.
JUPITER.
Juno, thy hand, the girls no more I'll drive at,
I will be ever thine—or wench more private.
[Aside.
I will be ever thine—or wench more private.
Air.
Smooth the furrows of thy brow,
Jove is all the lover now:
Others he'll no more pursue,
But be ever fixed to you.
Jove is all the lover now:
Others he'll no more pursue,
But be ever fixed to you.
JUNO.
Then contented I resign
My prerogative of scolding;
Quiet when thy love is mine,
When my arms with thine are folding.
CUPID.
Then, jolly Bacchus, why should we stand out?
If we have quarrelled, zounds! we'll drink about.
Air.
If we have quarrelled, zounds! we'll drink about.
Love and wine uniting
Rule without control,
Are to the sense delighting,
And captivate the soul.
Love and wine uniting
Are everywhere adored;
Their pleasures are inviting,
All heaven they can afford.
Rule without control,
Are to the sense delighting,
And captivate the soul.
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Are everywhere adored;
Their pleasures are inviting,
All heaven they can afford.
BACCHUS.
Zounds, I agree, 'tis folly to oppose it:
Let's pay our duty here, and then we'll close it.
Air.
Let's pay our duty here, and then we'll close it.
[To the audience.
To you, ye brave, ye fair, ye gay,
Permit me from myself to say—
The juicy grape for you shall rise
In all the colours of the skies;
For you the vine's delicious fruit
Shall on the lofty mountains shoot;
And every wine to Bacchus dear
Shall sparkle in perfection here.
To you, ye brave, ye fair, ye gay,
Permit me from myself to say—
The juicy grape for you shall rise
In all the colours of the skies;
For you the vine's delicious fruit
Shall on the lofty mountains shoot;
And every wine to Bacchus dear
Shall sparkle in perfection here.
CUPID.
For you, ye fair, whose heavenly charms
Make all my arrows useless arms,
For you shall Handel's lofty flight
Clash on the listening ear of night,
And the soft, melting, sinking lay
In gentle accents die away:
And not a whisper shall appear
Which modesty would blush to hear.
JUNO.
Ye brave, the pillars of the state,
In valour and in conduct great,
For you the rushing clang of arms,
The yell of battle and alarms
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And echo through the mantling sky.
JUPITER.
From you, ye glories of mankind,
We hope a firm support to find;
All that our humble powers can do
Shall be displayed to pleasure you:
On you we build a wished success,
'Tis yours, like deities, to bless;
Your smiles will better every scene,
And clothe our barren waste in green.
CHORUS.
So, when along the eastern skies
The glories of the morning rise,
The humble flower which slept the night,
Expands its beauties to the light,
Glows in its glossy new array,
And shines amidst the shining day.
| The Revenge | |