University of Virginia Library

ACT V.

SCENE I.

Enter MYRRINA and PARDALISCA.
PARDALISCA.
Now that we've well been entertain'd within,
Let's see this wedding sport here out of doors.

Myr.
I swear by Castor's temple, I ne'er laugh'd
More heartily in all my days; and think,
In those to come, I never shall exceed it—
I'd fain know how Chalinus acts his part
Of bride with his new bridegroom—Sure no poet
Did e'er contrive so crafty a device,
As this contriv'd by us—Pleas'd shall I be
To see the old fellow, with his chaps well beaten,
Come sallying forth; than he is, one more wicked
Ne'er liv'd I think: and yet that other too,
Who so officiously lent him his house,
Is pretty near as bad—Here, Pardalisca,
Stand here; that when he sallies forth, we may
Have our own sport with him.

Par.
I will, with pleasure,
As I am wont to do—

Myr.
Observe from hence
What's going on within doors.

Par.
Stand behind me,
I beg you.

Myr.
Speak then freely and with confidence
Whatever comes into your head.

Par.
Peace, peace!
Your door creaks—

[they stand apart.

SCENE II.

Enter OLYMPIO and CLEOSTRATA, following him at a distance.
Olym.
Whither to fly, or where to hide myself,
Or how I shall conceal this vile disgrace
I know not—Can my master, or can I
Survive the infamy of these our nuptials—
I'm so asham'd, am so beside myself,
To think we both shall be the common town talk—
Attend and you shall hear my wedding feats;
[to the spectators.
They're worth your hearing, and will make you laugh
Most heartily, I fancy! when you know
All that has past within; 'tis so ridiculous
That you must burst with laughter at the tale—
As soon as I had brought this spouse of mine
Into the chamber, first I bolt the door—

Myr.
[to Cleo.]
See there Olympio is—Accost him strait.

Cle.
Where's your new bride? For heaven's sake inform me.

Olym.
[aside.]
I'm lost—All's blown—

Cle.
Come, tell us all in order,
As it has pass'd within: You'll give us pleasure.

Olym.
I can't for shame relate it.

Cle.
We must have it
Exactly as it pass'd—

Olym.
I cannot, shame forbids
To tell such privacies—

Cle.
Come, tell us roundly
All, and begin your story from the time
You and your bride were bolted in together.

Olym.
When then I call'd her Casina, my Casina,
My darling bride, why do you spurn your husband?
Indeed 'tis not well done, to treat me thus,
Me, who to all have given you the preference—
She answers not a word—I then attempted
To kiss her, mark ye; but I find a beard
Against my lips, quite prickly, stiff as bristles.
At length she kicks my stomach with such force,
I tumble backward from the bed; and she
Jumps out upon me, and bemauls my face
With both her fists most heartily—At last
I steal away in silence, in this trim
You see me in—Heaven grant! at least, my master
May drink of the same cup that I have tasted.

Cle.
'Tis excellent indeed! But where's your cloak?

Olym.
My cloak's within doors—Yes, I left it there.

Cle.
Well, think you not our business well conducted?

Olym.
Yes truly, I deserve it.

Cle.
Hark! The doors
Are opening surely—

Olym.
Sure she will not follow me.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.

Enter STALINO.
Sta.
A pretty business this! I know not what
To say to this same wife; or how to look
Upon her—Quite undone! The matter's all
Come out beyond evasion. I am fairly
Hook'd—hook'd fast [OMITTED]
How to patch up a story to my wife—
My cloak too gone [OMITTED]
'sdeath! these clandestine pranks
[OMITTED] I judge it best [OMITTED]
Yes, she indeed might calm my wife's resentment.
[OMITTED]
But who would undertake this task I know not.
I know not what to do: except I follow
The example of bad slaves, and fly the house:
If I return, no safety for my shoulders.
I may frame sham excuses there: but all
In vain; for she'll see thro' them in an instant.
I shall smart for't deservedly, 'tis true;
But sore against my will—Yes, I'll be gone,
Take to my heels—

Olym.
[from within.]
Ho! Stalino, you lover!

Sta.
I'll make as if I heard not, and march off—

[Exit.

SCENE IV.

Enter CLEOSTRATA, MYRRINA, CHALINUS in women's cloaths disguis'd like CASINA, OLYMPIO, and the two women slaves.
Cha.
Where are you, you who aim at strict severity
Of morals, you philosopher? By Hercules!
'Tis over with you—Here, come here, approach.

[OMITTED]
Sta.
Yes, I'll go this way—'Twere a better omen
To have an o'ergrown puppy barking at me.

Cle.
What art thee doing here, my precious love,
My little dear! and why too in this dress?
Where is the stick, and where the cloak thee had'st?

Wom.
Lost in the battle both of them, I trow,
When he was making love to Casina.

Sta.
'Tis over with me!

Cha.
What, shall we to bed?
'Tis I am Casina—

[discovering himself.
Sta.
Go and be hang'd,
You scoundrel you!—

Cha.
Do you not love me then?

Cle.
Why don't you answer me? Where is your cloak?

Sta.
Bacchant! A Bacchant! Yes, by Hercules!
You are a Bacchant, wife.

Wom.
He jokes on purpose.
'Tis not the feast of Bacchus now.

Sta.
'Tis true,
I had forgot—Yet notwithstanding that
You are a Bacchant.

Cle.
What d'you mean by Bacchant?
That cannot be—

Olym.
Yet you are in a fright,
By Castor's temple!

Sta.
I in a fright, d'you say?

Olym.
Don't tell a lye—The matter's very plain.

[OMITTED]
Sta.
And won't you hold your tongue?

Olym.
By Hercules!
I won't. Yourself most earnestly conjur'd me
To ask for Casina to be my wife.

Sta.
That was an instance of the love I bore you.

Cle.
Rather an instance of your love to her.
You're fairly caught.

Sta.
What, am I guilty then
Of what you say?

Cle.
And do you ask that question?

Sta.
If I've done so, I've been to blame, by Hercules!

Cle.
Come in with me then; if you have forgot,
I will refresh your memory.

Sta.
By Hercules!
I think you rather are to be believ'd.
Forgive your husband then, my dear—Myrrina,
Intreat Cleostrata to pardon me.
If, from this time I e'er love Casina,
Or ever offer to seduce her more,
Or ever more attempt to do the like,
There is no cause, but you shall tuck me up,
And with your own hands scourge me heartily.

Myr.
'Tis my opinion that you should forgive him.

Cle.
I'll do as you would have me—And I pardon
This folly in you, the more willingly,
In order not to lengthen out the Comedy,
Too long already.

Sta.
You're not angry then?

Cle.
No, I am not.

Sta.
May I depend upon it?

Cle.
You may—

Sta.
And can there in the world be found
A wife more amiable than mine?

Cha.
Then take her.

Cle.
Return me then his stick and cloak.

Cha.
Here, take them.

Sta.
'Tis very well.

Cha.
They have, by Castor's temple!
Injur'd me most egregiously—I've had
Two husbands, yet am still in statu quo.

[Exeunt.