University of Virginia Library

ACT III.

SCENE I.

Enter EPIGNOMUS with a Musick-Girl, and STICHUS.
EPIGNOMUS.
To Neptune, and to all his tempests, thanks!
For that I've had a safe and prosperous voyage,
And am return'd in safety home again.
To Mercury too, who aided me in traffick,
And rais'd my stock fourfold, I give like thanks.
Those whom I left in grief at my departure,
I now shall meet at my return with joy.
I saw my father Antipho but now,
And found him, whom I left a foe, my friend.
What will not money do?—Soon as he saw
I was return'd in affluence, I wanted
No mediator.—In the very ship,
Even upon deck, we were all friends again,
And here he and my brother sup with me.
Both yesterday were in one port together.
To-day I'm somewhat sooner under sail.
Stichus, conduct these people I have brought
Into the house—

Stich.
Sir, should I speak or not?—
The many hardships are to you well known,
With which, I in your service have been sconc'd.
One day from all my miseries, I'd fain,
On my arrival give to Liberty.

Epig.
'Tis just and right—Stichus, this day is thine;
Go, spend it where you please—I'm not your hinderance.
I'll give you too a keg of good old wine.

Stich.
Excellent good!—To-night I'll have my mistress.

Epig.
Ten, if you please, when at your own expence.
Where do you sup to-night?

Stich.
Since you're so kind,
I've here a mistress in the neighbourhood,
Her name Stephanium, your brother's maid.
I have invited her to sup with us
At Sagarinus's, her fellow-servant.
She's mistress to us both, so we are rivals.

Epig.
Conduct these in—To you I give this day.

Stich.
And if I do not make the most of it,
Say 'tis my fault—Now will I cross the garden,
And see my lass I am to have to-night;
Invite her to our supper, which I'll order
To be got ready straight at Sagarinus's—
Then for the market:—I'll be caterer.
Wonder not, gentlemen, that slaves should have
[to the spectators.
Their invitations with their wench and bottle;
It is allow'd at Athens—Now I think on't,
('Twill be less trouble.) We've a back-door here:
(For they more use the back part of the house.)
That way I'll go to purchase the provisions,
And bring them by the same across the garden.
It is a common passage to both houses.
Follow me this way—Now I'll make a day of it.

[to the Musick-girl, &c.]
[Exit.

SCENE II.

Enter GELASIMUS.
Gel.
My books I have consulted, and am confident
My fund of drollery will well secure
My patron to myself—Now I am looking
When he returns from port, to sweeten him
Upon his first arrival—

Epig.
Sure it is
The Parasite Gelasimus I see.

Gel.
With lucky omens I came forth to-day:
A weasel snatch'd a mouse up at my feet,
And eat it at a mouthful in my sight.
Thus as the weasel found to-day a dinner,
I am in hopes I shall—The omen speaks it.
Behold Epignomus that's standing there:
I'll go and speak to him—Epignomus,
How glad am I to see you!—How my tears
Gush out for joy!—Have you enjoy'd your health?

Epig.
I have with care—

Gel.
Why that's well said, and friendly.
The gods be still propitious to your wants!
I wish you health, Sir, to my heart and soul.
You'll sup with me now on my first arrival?

Epig.
I am oblig'd to you—But am promis'd forth.

Gel.
Give me your word—

Epig.
'Tis fix'd.

Gel.
I prithee, do.

Epig.
'Tis an agreement—

Gel.
Troth, 'twill give me pleasure.

Epig.
I doubt not that—When time shall serve, I'll come.

Gel.
The time serves now—

Epig.
By Pollux' temple! no.
I cannot come.

Gel.
What hinders? Come,—I know
You'll come—Yet,what at hand I have to give you
I cannot say—

Epig.
Nay go—And for to-day
Invite some other guest.

Gel.
You promise then?

Epig.
If it was possible,—I'd not refuse you.

Gel.
This I can promise—None shall be more welcome.

Epig.
Adieu!

Gel.
Is it resolv'd?

Epig.
It is—I sup
At home.

Gel.
Since you'll not promise me this favour,
Say, shall I sup with you?

Epig.
You should if possible;
But I have nine to sup with me already.

Gel.
A fellow I—you may put any where.

Epig.
They are ambassadors, great men
With powers plenipo'—and from Ambracia.

Gel.
Why then, let your ambassadors, great men
Take place;—the lowest of the low serves me.

Epig.
'Twould not look well to mix you with ambassadors.

Gel.
Suppose I say, I'm an ambassador.

Epig.
No—But to-morrow—You will find the scraps.
Farewel—

[Exit.
Gel.
I'm a dead man—Plain—Out of doubt—
There's one man less by thee, Gelasimus—
I'll ne'er give credit to a weasel more.
A most uncertain animal it is,
And ever changing place ten times a day.
Yet I could trust her with my life, my food.
I am determin'd to convene my friends
Upon this question—How to starve in form—

[Exit.