University of Virginia Library

SCENE IV.

Don Ramirez's Apartment at the Inn.
Enter Hostess and Don Alonzo.
HOSTESS.
An't please you, this is Don Ramirez's chamber.
I pray your honour, take a chair; his worship,
Heav'n bless him! is enjoying his siesta.

ALONZO.
Tell him, I pray you, ma'am, that Don Alonzo
Is here to wait on him.

HOSTESS.
Well, I'll be sworn
You're two as pretty gentlemen to look on—

ALONZO.
Will you be pleas'd to let him know I'm here?

HOSTESS.
I will your honour—well, it does one good
To look upon you both!

[Exit.
ALONZO.
Make haste, I pray.
I long to know what has detain'd him thus,
When I had taken pains to make this match
So plainly advantageous. There is danger
In trifling, when a woman is concern'd.

Enter Ramirez.
RAMIREZ.
Alonzo, this is kind indeed! Most welcome!

ALONZO.
Welcome, my dear Ramirez! I have waited
With more impatience to receive you, than
You shew'd in coming. What! A bridegroom you!
When beauty, youth and fortune, challeng'd you,
To linger thus!

RAMIREZ.
Why truly I'm to blame—
And yet I know not—Prithee ask no questions—
I'm here you see.

ALONZO.
Why, you are grown mysterious.
Is this the ardour which becomes a lover,
Invited, as it were, t'accept the hand
Of Seville's paragon, whose op'ning charms
Might thaw a hermit's frozen heart to love,
Whose rank is equal to your own, whose wealth
Will reinstate the fortunes of your house?

RAMIREZ.
Why as you say—'tis true—I own it all—

ALONZO.
Whence all this myst'ry then, this icy coldness?

RAMIREZ.
Cold?—No, not I—I made what haste I could!
But I was absent when your letter came,
And so it was delay'd—And so you thought me
Cold and mysterious! (laughs)
—A good joke that,
When a fine girl's in question! Faith, Alonzo,
'Twas really kind of you to think of me.
I warrant me that most men would have wish'd
To keep so rich a treasure to themselves.
But you—In truth you acted handsomely

ALONZO.
For me, you know, I'm clearly out o'th'question:
My faith's already plighted to another.
She's neither quite so fair, nor quite so rich,
As she whose hand awaits you; but, you know
When once a man has gain'd a woman's heart,
And giv'n his word to marry her, common honour
Requires him to fulfil it.

RAMIREZ.
Certainly—

ALONZO.
For, were he to draw back from his engagement,
No gentleman would speak to him.

RAMIREZ.
Umph!—No—

ALONZO.
He would be scouted from society,
As one who'd neither faith nor honour in him.
Don't you think so?

RAMIREZ.
Oh, certainly!

ALONZO.
A fellow,
Who's capable of that, would pick one's pocket.
Would not he, think you?

RAMIREZ.
Umph!—Undoubtedly—

ALONZO.
But an't you anxious to behold your Laura?
Trust me she's worth your knowing.

RAMIREZ.
I'm on fire
To see her—

Enter Pedrillo, with a Bundle.
PEDRILLO.
Gentlemen, your humble servant!— (bowing.)


ALONZO.
What is't you want, sir?

PEDRILLO.
With your honour's favour,
I am commission'd, sir, to Don Ramirez.

RAMIREZ.
I'm he.

PEDRILLO
(bowing).
I am your honour's most obsequious,
Most humble—

RAMIREZ.
When you've done, sir, with these cringes,
Perhaps you'll speak your purpose.

PEDRILLO.
I've the honour
To be the representative of Gil Baptista,
Who, at cuff, cape, skirt, sleeve, or pocket, reigns
Without a rival here in Seville.

RAMIREZ.
So—
You are a tailor's journeyman?

PEDRILLO.
I am, sir.

RAMIREZ.
Hast brought my suit?

PEDRILLO.
I have it in this fardel.
(Opens his bundle).
There! I'll ne'er cut an inch of satin more,
Or with my goose smooth down a button-hole,
If there's in Seville so complete a suit.
Wilt please your honour just to try it on?

RAMIREZ.
Aye, come, let's see your workmanship—Odso!
You set unhandily about it, friend.

PEDRILLO.
Now, if your honour pleases, try it on.
If it should fit you, why— (aside)
—my pains are lost.

RAMIREZ.
Gently—Why, what's the matter with this sleeve?
I cannot get my arm through!

PEDRILLO
(aside).
If you can,
I've thrown away my trouble.— (To Ramirez)
—Push away, sir!
You'll get it through at last—The saints defend me,
If you ha'n't pulled away the sleeve!

RAMIREZ.
The deuce!
What can we do?

PEDRILLO.
'Tis of no consequence;
I'll take it home again, an't please your honour,
And stitch it in a trice—'Tis a mere trifle.

ALONZO.
But we are losing time, sir—

PEDRILLO
(aside).
That's exactly
What I propose you should do—

ALONZO.
We're expected
This moment at Don Guzman's—

PEDRILLO.
I'll be back
Within this half hour—I'm your worship's servant—
(Going.)
Enter Diego.
Your worship may be sure—Zooks! he arrived!

DIEGO.
What Pedro Lobo?—What has brought thee here?

PEDRILLO.
I'm in a monstrous hurry—pray don't stop me—
I have been paying my respects—

DIEGO.
That's right.
Has't ask'd for's custom? Has he promis'd thee?

PEDRILLO.
He has—Good afternoon—

DIEGO.
Stay—stay a minute.
I'll say a word or two to clinch the matter.

PEDRILLO.
Not now—

RAMIREZ.
Remember expedition, sir.

PEDRILLO.
Your honour may be sure of it directly.— (Going).


DIEGO.
Nay—you shall stay and take a glass with me.
Here—waiter!—

PEDRILLO.
No—not now.—I must begone!—

[Exeunt Pedrillo and Diego, squabbling.
RAMIREZ.
What a provoking circumstance!

ALONZO.
Ne'er mind—
We shall be time enough, so pray be patient—

RAMIREZ.
Were you but interested, sir, as I am,
You'd hardly thank a friend for preaching patience.
But come—while he's repairing my new suit,
Go with me to my chamber. I must give
A few last tasteful touches to my hair,
To make myself quite irresistible.
Nay, you may laugh—but 'tis a serious matter—
The first impression, sir, is ev'ry thing.

[Exeunt.