University of Virginia Library

SCENE III.

The Counting-House.
Enter Luke.
Luke.
'Tis strange how soon a change of circumstance
Alters men's minds and manners. Yesterday
I was poor Luke, a mere despis'd dependent
Upon another's charity; but now
I'm grown right worshipful, become a patron,
And, wheresoe'er I deign to turn my glance,
Your purse-proud citizens, with cap in hand,
And bended knee, strive who shall pay me homage.
One, who 'till now ne'er deign'd to look on me,
Congratulated me upon the wealth
Thus fallen on me. I could scarce refrain
From laughter, when, with apt humility,
I answer'd him—“Good Sir, a trifle merely;
“The substance you conceive so great no way
“Answers it's rumour'd magnitude; alas!
“With a great charge I'm left but a poor man.”
“Poor!”—quoth my citizen, with feign'd surprize.
Now came my answer—“Poor, compar'd with what
“'Tis thought I do possess: some little land,
“Fair household furniture, a few good debts,
“But empty bags I find; yet I will be
“A faithful steward.”—Thus I talk'd to them,
While they, the more I strove to underrate
My affluence, conceited me more rich.
Enter Holdfast.
Well, Sirrah Holdfast!—have you ta'en good care
Of those I trusted to your charge?

Holdfast.
Aye, marry,
If giving them enough be taking care.
There they're all sitting, with your hopeful clerks,
Eating and drinking, gayly quaffing bumpers
To their kind patron's health.—You begin well—
Keep open house—let who will live upon you—
'Tis your true way—I never knew it fail.

Luke.
Why, Holdfast! what is't moves your choler thus?

Holdfast.
Nay, I'm a fool; 'tis no concern of mine;
Your riches are your own; do as you please;
However deep a well it has a bottom,
And may be drain'd.—

Luke.
You speak like oracles;
But we'll discourse of this when we've more leisure.
Meantime, bring here my brother's wife and daughters.
[Exit Holdfast.
If riches are a burthen, they're a light one.
Methinks I'm like a captive, from whose limbs
The shackles that confin'd him are remov'd.
My heart is light, my spirits brisk and light—
Enter Lady Traffic, Maria, Eliza and Holdfast.
So, you are here—Why, how now? What means this?
Is't thus, I am obey'd? Where are the habits
I order'd for these women?

Holdfast.
Not come home.

Luke.
And wherefore not?

Holdfast.
It is the tailor's fault.
He says he has some other work in hand,
Which must be finish'd ere he set about them.

Luke.
Plague on his tardiness! Go to him, sirrah!
And bid him hasten.

[Exit Holdfast.
Lady Traffic.
Nay, my kind brother,
I pray you don't distress yourself about us.
The garments we already have will suit us.

Luke.
No, they will not. You shall have others soon,
More corresponding with your state and merits.
You shall lay by this flimsy garniture,
These vain appendages of senseless folly,
And have your outsides as disrob'd of pomp
As are your fallen fortunes.—Russet—dowlas—
The lowliest raiment of the humblest she,
Who seeks her scanty maintenance by labour,
Will suit you better than these tinsel trappings.

Lady Traffic.
Why what is this, Sir? You are not in earnest—
You cannot mean—I do protest at first
You frighten'd me—Had I not known you better,
I should have thought you meditated things
Most foreign to your kind and gen'rous heart.

Luke.
You'll find I mean what I have said.

Lady Traffic.
Alas!
Do you thus preserve your protestation to me?

Maria.
Is this fit treatment for us, Sir?

Eliza.
Are those
Becoming habits for your brother's daughters?

Luke.
'Twould suit you more to thank my weak indulgence,
Which gives you licence to appear in them,
Than to be thus exceptious. I'm the judge
Of what befits your station. Would you ape
The fashions of court-ladies, whose high titles
And pedigrees of long descent give warrant
For their superfluous brav'ry?

Lady Traffic.
Will you break
Your promise to us then?

Luke.
No! I'll make good
My promise, and will shew you like yourselves,
In your own natural shapes, and stand resolv'd
You shall continue so.

Lady Traffic.
Most worthy Sir—

Luke.
Sir? Sirrah! That's your term. Use your old phrase.
You know I'm us'd to bear it.

Lady Traffic.
I implore you
Hold not remembrance of it. I acknowledge
I have deserv'd ill of you, yet despair not,
Tho' we are at your disposure, you'll maintain us
As suits our just pretensions.

Luke.
'Tis my purpose—

Lady Traffic.
Nor make us thus ridiculous.

Luke.
It was
Your insolence that made you so, your pride,
Your strange forgetfulness of what ye were,
And your contempt of those, whose purses could not
Hold equal rate with your extravagance.
What right had you to arrogate a rank,
To which you'd no pretensions? Who were you,
To claim precedence, and to hold a state,
To scorn your equals, and to treat your brother
As he were meaner than the dust you trod on?
Who rais'd you to the pow'r you thus abus'd?
Your husband—brother of that humble Luke,
Your quondam servant, now your master, lady!

Lady Traffic.
Alas! alas! (weeping.)


Luke.
Aye, bring your spirit down
To a level with your fortune. I'll cut off
Whatever is exorbitant in you,
Or in those Madams, and reduce you to
Your natural form and habits. You shall now
Learn to employ your time to better purpose
Than you were wont; those taper fingers now
Shall grow industrious; I'll have spinning-wheels
And distaffs for you; you shall learn to dress
And serve each other; for I'll have no drones,
No waiting women to attend upon you.
You know my pleasure!

Lady Traffic.
Oh my pride and scorn!
How justly am I punish'd!

Maria.
Now we pay
A heavy price for past indulgences.
Had you but treated Heartwell with more favour—

Eliza.
Had you not shewn young Lacey such disdain,
We had not thus been subjected to him.

Lady Traffic.
Heap not fresh causes of regret upon me;
I feel enough already.

Luke.
Do you so?
I'm right glad on't. 'Tis as it should be.
Away! set to your tasks!
(Exeunt Lady Traffic, Maria and Eliza.
So! that's well done.
This act of justice o'er, now for my clients.
Their business will be shortly settled. Holdfast!
Enter Holdfast.
Send in the gay companions you have yonder.

Holdfast.
Here! please you to come up! They'll talk you now
Into whate'er they please. They know your temper,
And how to take advantage of your softness.
Aye, aye, I hear you! Marry, 'tis no wonder
You're in high spirits.—

Enter Venture, Risk, Penury, Ledger, and Invoice.
Luke.
Holdfast, leave us.
[Exit Holdfast.
Well,
You see I've not delay'd you. All is ready
For finishing your business.

Venture.
Worthy Sir,
We are your servants.

Risk.
Our best thanks are weak.

Penury.
We're bound to pray for you.

Luke.
Not bound as yet.

(Stamps with his foot.)
Enter Bailiffs.
First Bailiff.
You Invoice, and you Ledger, I arrest you
Each for a thousand pounds.

Second Bailiff.
Risk, Venture, Penury,
I do arrest you.

Venture.
Me, Sir? at whose suit?

Second Bailiff.
There's our employer—you had better ask him.

Venture.
At your's, good Sir?

Penury.
It is impossible.

Ledger.
Nay, Sir, this passes jest.

Luke.
(to the Bailiffs.)
Are you not more
Acquainted with the dangers of a rescue,
Than to stand parleying with them thus? The Compter
Is their fit place.

Invoice.
And can you be in earnest?

Luke.
Aye, marry, Sir, and you shall find it so.

Ledger.
What have we done that you should treat us thus?

Luke.
Poor innocent! you know the tricks of trade,
Hold correspondence with your fellow cashiers—
There's a small trifle of five hundred pounds,
For all of which you'll please to account. You might
Defraud my brother; if you can, evade me.

Penury.
Your worship will not be so hard with us?

Luke.
Pay to the uttermost farthing what you owe,
Or lie in prison.

Venture.
Can a gentleman
Of your soft feeling temper speak such language?

Penury.
So honest, so religious—

Risk.
One that preach'd
So much of charity for us to your brother?

Luke.
Yes, when I was in poverty it shew'd well;
But I inherit with his state his mind
And his more stubborn nature. I then might,
For weighty purposes, discourse of pity,
The poor man's orisons, and such like nothings;
But what I thought you now shall feel, and home too.
Kind master Luke hath said it—off with them!

Venture.
Hear me but one word! let me make the best
Of my two ships!

Penury.
Lend me the sum you promised!

Risk.
A few weeks patience to redeem my mortgage!
You shall be satisfied!

Venture.
To the last farthing!
We do most humbly beg for your compassion!

Luke.
I'll shew some mercy, which is, that I will not
Torture with idle hopes, but make you know
What you shall trust to. Your ships to my own use
Are seiz'd on. I have got into my hands
Your bargain from the sailor; 'twas a good one
For such a petty sum. I likewise take
Th' extremity of your mortgage.

Risk.
Mercy!

Venture.
Have pity!

Penury.
Spare us, worthy Sir!

Luke.
Move mountains with your breath! It shakes not me!
Here! do your duty! Carry them away!

(Exeunt severally.)