University of Virginia Library

SCENE II.

Sir John's Counting-house.
Enter Invoice, Ledger, and Holdfast.
Holdfast.
The like was never seen!

Invoice.
Why in this rage, man?

Holdfast.
You may talk of country christmasses, or treats
Giv'n at elections, where the tables groan
With haunches of fat ven'son, beef and pudding,
And gluttons, cramm'd to surfeit, with their teeth
Dig their own graves; or you may tell, an you will
Of Roman luxury, or modern French,
Yet what were they, compar'd with this of our's?

Ledger.
What's all this noise about?

Holdfast.
Would'st thou believe?
I tell thee, Master Ledger—s'life! it maddens me
To think on such excess—some hungry devil
Has whisper'd in my rampant lady's ear,
And taught her how to squander! Such profusion,
As in the bill of fare she has deliver'd
For one day's meal!

Invoice.
What is all this to thee?
Thou'rt not to pay for it.

Holdfast.
What's worst of all,
When I objected to th' expence, my lady
Call'd me penurious rascal, and advis'd me
To mind my own concerns.

Invoice.
She counsell'd rightly.

Holdfast.
Well, let her take her swing: I care not for't.
Three dinners such would break an alderman.
I'll have no hand in't. I'll make up my accounts,
And, since my master longs to be undone,
'Tis his concern, not mine.
[Exit Holdfast.

Ledger.
That is a maxim,
To which I don't subscribe; for, if my master
Is in the way to ruin, 'tis the part
Of a true servant to promote his wishes.
The work is soonest done, when many join.

Invoice.
That's true. Suppose we lend a helping hand?
Could we contrive to compass without danger
Such a small trifle as a thousand pounds—

Ledger.
'Twould set us up again.

Invoice.
It would do so.
But how? there lies the point—oh! Master Luke.

Enter Luke.
Luke.
So, still at work; ever intent upon
Your master's interest.

Ledger.
True, most noble Luke;
Like trusty servitors, we were reflecting
On the connection that subsists between
His int'rests and our own.

Invoice.
We were debating
A case of conscience. Honest Master Luke,
Since my return, I've heard of your reverses,
The drudgery they put you to, the scorn
Wherewith they treat you. I remember, once
You were a knowing one, could take the odds,
And at a few cool hundreds aims so surely,
You seldom miss'd your mark.

Luke.
Talk not of that:
I'm now an alter'd man.

Ledger.
Alter'd? In what?
Your means indeed are less, but you are still
The same kind-natur'd, noble soul.—What think you?
Were a good friend to put you in the road
To be reveng'd of fortune—What would'st say?

Luke.
I'm poor, and therefore I would not object
Once more to make experiment of wealth.
I am dependent, and I would be free.

Ledger.
Well, Sir—to put a case—were such a friend
To shew that you might gain, not only wealth,
But independence, would you thank him for it?

Luke.
I should account him a good friend indeed.

Ledger.
I guess'd you'd say so.—Well, such friend am I.

Luke.
You are passing kind.

Ledger.
I am. Give me your hand.
I do compassionate your fallen state,
And, were I sure I could confide in thee,
I could impart a secret.

Luke
(aside).
What means this?
I must know more. (To Ledger)
Confide in me, do'st say?
I would not wish to worm your secret from you,
But as for confidence—

Invoice,
(to Ledger).
Tell him at once.
I know him well of old. He'll do for us.

Ledger.
Well, Master Luke, I'll tell thee. We were thinking,
Wert thou consenting, how we might devise
Means to replenish our exhausted pockets.
We all are poor; our master hath abundance;
And what would make us rich, would not affect him.
What say'st thou to it? Could'st thou not suggest
Some efficacious plan?

Luke.
Has't thou not serv'd
Almost thy stated term? (To Invoice)
And hast thou traded
To farther India, thus to ask me counsel?
Go to some other, more expert to treat
These subtle practices! I've met with those
Can do it well; nay, I have heard them speak
Such marvels, as would put Autolycus
And Mercury his father to the blush,
So far did they outdo them in contrivance.

Invoice.
What was't they said?

Luke.
I'll tell you that anon.
First I would know if you've no means o' your own
To compass this brave enterprize: I warrant
You have not liv'd so long without a trial.

Ledger.
Why, now and then we have made free a little.
I'll tell you how we do. We cash-keepers
Hold correspondence, and supply each other
Whene'er we want. I borrow for a week
Two hundred pounds of one, as much of a second,
A third lays down the rest; and, when they want,
As my master's cash comes in, I do repay it.

Luke.
You do! that is an excellent device.
When you have this, why should you wish for others?

Ledger.
The pitcher may too oft—you know the proverb
There's an arrear of near five hundred pounds
Stares me i' th' face. I needs must wipe it out
By some bold stroke.

Invoice.
And I too must replace
Some cash I borrow'd from my master's stock,
For a curs'd speculation that deceiv'd me.
He will be settling my account ere long.

Ledger.
Besides all this, we want some present monies,
For our occasions: if you'll join with us,
You shall have share—

Furbish
(without).
Why Luke! Where are you, Luke!

Luke.
I'm called for.

Furbish
(without).
Luke! I say, my lady wants you!

Luke.
I must begone.

Ledger.
When shall we meet again?

Luke.
Immediately. (aside)
A precious couple truly!

[Exeunt.