Distress upon Distress : or, Tragedy in True Taste ::

Distress upon Distress : or, Tragedy in True Taste

A Heroi-Comi-Parodi-Tragedi-Farcical Burlesque

Stevens, George Alexander (1710-1784)

Distress upon Distress:

SCENE I.

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SCENE I.

AIR I.
Enter Gamble in a Passion .
Sings.
Woe heap'd on Woe, as Wave on Wave,
A Sea of Sorrows fills my Breast ,
Can mortal Man more Trouble have?
By Love and Debt at once oppress'd .

Enter Spunge in a Fury, and trips up Gamble .
Gamble.
Whence this Insult?

Spunge.
Insult, Sir?

Gamble.
Ay, Insult!

Spunge.
Be calm a Moment, and a Moment mind,
Attentive list with philosophic Ear ,
From Passion purged.

AIR II.
Gamble.
Sir, you're a Scoundrel—
(Loud Symphony.
Sir, a Scoundrel, Damme —

(Da Capo.
Spunge.
Thy boiling Rage in frothy Phrase reeks out:
Repell'd by Reason's Shield, condens'd, the Steam,
In dribbling Drops, falls down— my Wrath subsides.

Gamble.
Sir, I'll be damn'd—

Spunge.
You may;

Gamble.
I say I will, before I'll put this up;
Therefore be quick, and give me Satisfaction.

Enter Beverage.
Beverage.
Be quiet, Puppies, are you drunk,
Or dreaming? Is this a Day to fight on?
This brave Day, when our young Landlord
Fanfly's come of Age.

Spunge.
No, I was wrong, I'll take another Time.

Beverage.
Another Time, what Time? Hark ye, my Friend,

Since you're for Time, pray give me Leave to speak ,
What Time to pay this Bill off, will you take?

Gamble.
We have gone too far.

Beverage.
Yes, in my Debt you have.
So I have seen, in an unfurnish'd Room ,
A needy Spider raise his air-spread Loom;
From one poor Speck at first his Web begins,
Thread after Thread, the Tax-free Tenant spins.
Day after Day, thus you've increas'd your Score,
You've spun your Threads out, and I'll trust no more.

Spunge.
Either I dream, or else I am awake ,
Did not I hear my dear Miss Molly speak?

So have I seen—I can't tell what at present,
But something, somewhere, very like her.

Beverage.
Come, leave your Ogling, let's attend the Squire.
For him, the Sparkling Glass shall oft go round,
For him, our Streets in strong October's drown'd,
For him, each pimpled Cheek shall redder grow,
For us he comes; and therefore Friends we'll go.

(Exeunt Beverage and Gamble.
Spunge.
I will but make a Simile and follow;
So—so—so,
I don't know how to stay, or how to go,
Like some poor spunging Guest, who drinks his Part,
But when the Reck'ning's call'd, sleeps o'er the Quart,
When waked and question'd what he has to pay,
His Money gone, he don't know what to say,
But like me, softly takes himself away.

(Exit on Tiptoe.

This Passage has occasioned many Disputes among the Learned, how a Man could sing, if he was in a Passion? But it is easily set to rights, by supposing Gamble to be a Welchman. Paulus Purgantius.

This is a very just Metaphor: For as Tears are of a very briny or salt Nature, they are aptly expressed by the Sea.

These are very natural Distresses, and I believe one Way or other affect every Reader.

Henry Hum.

It is necessary here to premise the Art of the Author, in so well opening of his Poem, consonant to his Title-Page. For it is Distresse upon Distress, for a Man to be in Love and Debt at the same Time.

This tripping up is perfectly pantomimical, and has been used with very great Success in several dramatic Entertainments, particularly King Lear, where Kent trips up the Gentleman-Usher with a very good Grace; and the Audience, as well as the several royal Personages it is done before, is convinced, that the old Nobleman is a very good Wrestler. H. H.

And philosophic hear.—This is the true reading. Ear is a pedantic Interpolation, alluding to an old Maxim in the Schools. H non est Litera. P. P.

Dam me quasi da me, pro mihi, vel redde mihi, or give me, or unto me, Satisfaction; Porphyrius Torrentius, and Lambinus, concur with me in the reading; for we cannot suppose, in a dramatic Performance, the Author would allow any Personages of the Drama to swear.

This is a fine physical, hydrostatical Metaphor.

For any Fluid rarified by Heat, when it meets with a cold Medium immediately condensing, conglobes in pearly Particles, adhesing to the chilly metalline, or lignified Superficies.

H. H.

What Body it was that the elemental Effluvias adhered to, I was long unable to determine; but fancy the Annotator must mean, by the Word Superficies, a Kettle's Covering, commonly called a Pot-lid; and the Words, metalline and lignified, I take to relate to the essential Quality of Matter it was made out of.

P. P.

This is wrong pointed: He has stopped this Line with a Semicolon, and it should be with a Colon.

Here is a Quibling on the Word Time, which is beneath the Dignity of a Tragedy Writer. To be sure, the Man had a Right to ask for his Money; but as the other does not seem ready to comply, the Demand was certainly not well timed. P. P.

So I have seen—very unclassical—Lege, So have I seen. P. P.

He is either one or t'other. This is reducing Things to a Certainty, and indeed I wish all our modern Tragedy Writers would be as explicit; for it is impossible sometimes to tell by their Writings, whether they are asleep or awake.

I do not understand how a Man can take himself away; yet it is a common Phrase among the love-selling Ladies of Covent-Garden, Drury-Lane, the Strand, &c. &c. &c. &c. &c. &c.

University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.