 | Phormio |  |
551
SCENE II.
Enter at a distance DEMIPHO.—HEGIO, CRATINUS, CRITO, following.Dem.
Was ever man so grossly treated, think ye?
—This way, Sirs, I beseech you.
Get.
He's enrag'd!
Phor.
Hist! mind your cue: I'll work him.
— [coming forward, and speaking loud.]
Oh, ye Gods!
Does he deny that Phanium's his relation?
What, Demipho! Does Demipho deny
That Phanium is his kinswoman?
Get.
He does.
Phor.
And who her father was, he does not know?
Get.
No.
Dem.
to the Lawyers.]
Here's the very fellow, I believe,
Of whom I have been speaking.—Follow me!
Phor.
aloud.]
And that he does not know, who Stilpho was?
Get.
No.
Phor.
Ah! because, poor thing, she's left in want,
Her father is unknown, and she despis'd.
What will not avarice do?
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If you insinuate
My master's avaritious, woe be to you!
Dem.
behind.]
Oh impudence! he dares accuse me first.
Phor.
As to the youth, I cannot take offence,
If he had not much knowledge of him; since,
Now in the vale of years, in want, his work
His livelihood, he nearly altogether
Liv'd in the country: where he held a farm
Under my father. I have often heard
The poor old man complain, that this his kinsman
Neglected him.—But what a man! A man
Of most exceeding virtue.
Get.
Much at one:
Yourself and He you praise so much.
Phor.
Away!
Had I not thought him what I've spoken of him,
I wou'd not for his daughter's sake have drawn
So many troubles on our family,
Whom this old cuff now treats so scandalously.
Get.
What, still abuse my absent master, Rascal!
Phor.
It is no more than he deserves.
Get.
How, villain!
Dem.
Geta!
[calling.
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Rogue, Robber, Pettyfogger!
[to Phormio, pretending not to hear Demipho.]
Dem.
Geta!
Phor.
Answer.
[apart to Geta.
Get.
turning.]
Who's that?—Oh!
Dem.
Peace!
Get.
Behind your back
All day without cessation has this knave
Thrown scurvy terms upon you, such as none
But men, like him, can merit.
Dem.
Well! have done:
[putting Geta by, then addressing Phormio.
Young man! permit me first to ask one question,
And, if you please, vouchsafe to answer me.
—Who was this friend of your's? Explain! and how
Might he pretend that I was his relation?
Phor.
So! you fish for't, as if you didn't know.
[sneeringly.
Dem.
Know! I!
Phor.
Ay; you.
Dem.
Not I: You, that maintain
I ought, instruct me how to recollect.
Phor.
What! not acquainted with your cousin?
Dem.
Plague!
Tell me his name.
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His name? ay!
Dem.
Well, why don't you?
Phor.
Confusion! I've forgot the name.
[apart.
Dem.
What say you?
Phor.
Geta, if you remember, prompt me.
[apart to Geta.]
—Pshaw!
I will not tell.—As if you didn't know,
You're come to try me.
loud to Demipho.
Dem.
How! I try you?
Get.
Stilpho.
[whispering Phormio.
Phor.
What is't to me?—Stilpho.
Dem.
Whom say you?
Phor.
Stilpho:
Did you know Stilpho, Sir?
Dem.
I neither know him;
Nor ever had I kinsman of that name.
Phor.
How! are you not asham'd?—But if, poor man,
Stilpho had left behind him an estate
Of some ten Talents—
Dem.
Out upon You!
Phor.
Then
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Quite from your Grandsire and Great Grandsire.
Dem.
True.
Had I then come, I'd have explain'd at large
How she was my relation: So do You!
Say, how is she my kinswoman?
Get.
Well said!
Master, you're right.—Take heed!
[apart to Phormio.
Phor.
I have explain'd
All that most clearly, where I ought, in court.
If it were false, why did not then your son
Refute it?
Dem.
Do you tell me of my son?
Whose folly can't be spoke of, as it ought.
Phor.
But You, who are so wise, go, seek the judge:
Ask sentence in the self-same cause again:
Because You're Lord alone; and have alone
Pow'r to obtain the judgement of the court
Twice in one cause.
Dem.
Although I have been wrong'd,
Yet, rather than engage in litigation,
And rather than hear You; as if she were
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Ordains, I'll pay her dowry: Take her hence,
And with her take five Minæ.
Phor.
Ha! ha! ha!
A pleasant gentleman!
Dem.
Why, what's the matter?
Have I demanded any thing unjust?
Sha'n't I obtain this neither, which is law?
Phor.
Is't even so, Sir?—Like a common harlot
When you've abus'd her, does the law ordain
That you shou'd pay her hire, and whistle her off?
Or, lest a citizen thro' poverty
Bring shame upon her honour, does it order
That she be given to her next of kin
To pass her life with him? which you forbid.
Dem.
Ay; to her next of kin: But why to Us;
Or wherefore?
Phor.
Oh! that matter is all settled:
Think on't no more.
Dem.
Not think on't! I shall think
Of nothing else, till there's an end of this.
Phor.
Words, words!
Dem.
I'll make them good.
Phor.
But, after all,
With You I have no business, Demipho!
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The coupling-time is over.
Dem.
Be assur'd
That all I've said, He says: Or I'll forbid
Him and this wife of his my house.
Get.
He's angry.
[apart.
Phor.
No; you'll think better on't.
Dem.
Are you resolv'd,
Wretch that you are, to thwart me ev'ry way?
Phor.
(apart)
He fears, tho' he dissembles.
Get.
(apart)
Well begun!
Phor.
Well; but what can't be cur'd must be endur'd:
'Twere well, and like yourself, that we were friends.
Dem.
I! friend to you? or chuse to see, or hear you!
Phor.
Do but agree with her, you'll have a girl
To comfort your old age. Your years, consider!
Dem.
Plague on your comfort! take her to yourself!
Phor.
Ah! don't be angry!
Dem.
One word more, I've done.
See that you fetch away this wench, and soon,
Or I shall turn her headlong out o'doors.
So much for Phormio!
Phor.
Offer but to touch her,
In any other manner than beseems
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And I shall bring a swinging writ against you.
So much for Demipho!—If I am wanted,
I am at home, d'ye hear?
[apart to Geta.
Get.
I understand.
[apart.]
[Exit Phormio.
In the Trinummus of Plautus, where a sharper is employed, like Phormio, to carry on an imposture, He in like manner forgets the name of the person from whom he pretends to come; and what renders the circumstance still more pleasant is, that he happens to be engaged in conversation with the very person himself. The Trinummus, taken all together, is, I think, inferior to this play of our author; but there are in it some scenes of uncommon pleasantry.
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