 | The Opera of Operas ; or, Tom Thumb the Great |  |
7
ACT I.
SCENE I.
SCENE, The Palace.Enter Doodle, and Noodle.
Recitativo.
Doodle.Sure, such a day was never seen!
The sun himself on this harmonious day,
Shines like a beau in a new birthday suit;
All nature wears one universal grin.
Noodle.
This day, O Doodle! doubtless is a day,
A day we never saw before.
The mighty Thumb, call'd Tom, victorious comes;
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Swarm round his chariot wheels,
Giants! to whom the Giants in Guild-Hall
Are fools, are infant dwarfs.
They frown, they foam, they roar, while Tom,
Regardless of their din, rides on.
AIR. I.
So the Cock-Sparrow, at barn-door,Huge flocks of Turkeys hops before;
The lubberd Red-Heads does despise,
Nor at their noisy gugling flies.
Doodle.
'Tis whisper'd in the books of all our sages,
This mighty little hero,
By Merlin's art begot,
Has not a bone within his skin,
But is a lump of Gristle.
Noodle.
Then 'tis a gristle of no mortal kind!
Doodle.
Some god, O Noodle! stept into the place.
Of gaffer Thumb, and more than half begot
This matchless warriour Tom.
Noodle.
Sure he was sent express from Heav'n,
To be the pillar of our stare
Tho' small his carcass be, so very small,
A chairman's Leg is more than twice as large,
Yet is his soul like any mountain big,
And as a mountain once brought forth a mouse,
So does this mouse contain a mighty mountain.
Doodle.
Mountain indeed!
Noodle.
But hark!
[Flourish.]
Those trumpets speak the King's approach.
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He comes most luckily for my petition.
Enter King, Queen, Grizzle, and Doodle.
King.
Let nothing but a face of joy appear;
The man who frowns this day shall lose his head,
That he may have no face to frown withal.
Smile Dollalolla—ha! what wrinkled sorrow
Hangs, sits, lies, frowns upon thy knitted brow.
Whence flow those tears fast down thy blubber'd cheeks,
Like a swoln gutter, gushing thro' the streets?
Queen.
Excess of joy, folks say, my lord,
Gives tears as certain as excess of grief.
King.
If it be so, let all men cry for joy,
'Till my whole Court be drown'd with tears,
Nay, till they overflow my utmost land,
And leave me nothing
But a sea of tears to rule.
Doodle.
My liege! I humbly petition—
[Kneeling.]
King.
Petition me no petitions, Sir, to-day;
Let other hours be set apart for business;
To-day it is our pleasure to be drunk,
And this our queen shall be as drunk as we.
Queen.
Already I am half seas over,
Yet let the cistern overflow
With good Rack punch—'fore George, I'll see it out—
Of Rum and Brandy I'll not taste a drop.
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Tho' Rack in punch 10s. be a quart,
And Rum and Brandy be no more than six,
Rather than quarrel, you shall have your will.
AIR II.
When your dames of superior class,Submit to the pow'r of drams,
This virtue attends the kind glass,
It makes 'em as quiet as lambs.
If then without Brandy, or Rum,
Your Wives will not study to please,
Let 'em swill till they're tight as a drum
Or they'll live the longer to teaze.
[Trumpets.
The little hero—giant killing boy,
Preserver of my kingdom is arriv'd!
Enter Tom Thum.
With Officers, Prisoners, and Attendants.
O welcome! most welcome to my arms!
What gratitude can thank—away the debt,
Thy valour lays—upon me!
Queen.
Oh! ye gods!
[Aside.]
Thum.
When I'm not thank'd at all, I'm thank'd enough;
I've done my duty, and I've done no more.
Queen.
Was ever such a god-like creature seen!
[Aside.]
King.
Thy modesty's a candle to thy merit;
It shines itself, and shews thy merit too—
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Where didst thou leave the Giants?
Thum.
My liege, without the castle gates,
The castle gates too low for their admittance.
King.
What look they like?
Thum.
Like nothing but themselves.
Queen.
And sure thou'rt like to nothing but thyself?
[Aside.]
King.
Enough! the vast idea fills my soul.
I see them—yes, I see them before me—
The monstrous, ugly, barb'rous sons of whores!—
But, ha!
What finish'd piece of human nature strikes us!
Sure she was drawn by all the gods in council!
Who paus'd, and then cry'd out—this is a woman!
Thum.
Then, were the gods mistaken—
She's not a woman, but a giantess,
A High-German Giantess.
Glumdalca.
We yesterday were both a queen and wife;
One hundred thousand Giants own'd our sway,
Twenty whereof were marry'd to ourself.
Queen.
Oh! happy state of giantism!
AIR III.
Our Passions are of Giant kind,And have to th'full as large a sense;
'Tis hard to one to be confin'd,
When with a score we could dipense.
Glum.
But then to lose full twenty in one day!
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Madam, believe,
I view your sorrows with a woman's eye,
But be as patient as you can,
To morrow we will have our Grenadiers
Drawn out before you, when you may chuse
What Husband you hink fit.
Glum.
Madam, I am your most obedient Servant.
King.
Think, lovely princess, think this court your own,
Nor think my house an Inn, myself the landlord;
Call for whate'er you will, you'll nothing pay.
I feel a sudden pain within my breast;
Nor know I whether it proceeds from love,
Or only the wind-cholick—time must shew,
[Aside.]
Oh! Tom! what do we to thy valour owe?
Ask some reward, great as we can bestow.
Thum.
I ask not kingdoms, I can conquer those;
I ask not money, money I've enough;
If what I've done be call'd a debt,
Take my receipt in full—I ask but this;
To sun myself in Huncamunca's Eyes.
King.
Prodigious bold request!
Queen.
Be still my Soul!
[Aside.]
Thum.
My heart is at the threshold of your Mouth,
And waits it's answer there.
King.
It is resolv'd—the princess is your own.
13
Oh! happy, happy, happy Thumb!
Queen.
Consider, Sir,—reward your Soldiers merit,
But give not Huncamunca to Tom Thumb!
King.
Tom Thumb!
Odzooks! my wide extended Realm
Knows not a name so glorious as Tom Thumb!
AIR. IV.
Your Alexander's, Scipio's,
Inferior are to Tommy,
While others brag of Mac's and O's,
Let England boast of Thummy.
Inferior are to Tommy,
While others brag of Mac's and O's,
Let England boast of Thummy.
At Title is an empty name,
Like many we have knighted;
His merit bids us aid his fame,
So Tom shall not be slighted.
Like many we have knighted;
His merit bids us aid his fame,
So Tom shall not be slighted.
Queen.
Tho' greater yet his boasted merit was,
He shall not have my daughter, that is pos!
King.
Ha! sayst thou Dollalolla?
Queen.
I say he shan't.
King.
Then, by our royal self we swear you lie.
Queen.
Who but a dog—who but a Dog
Wou'd use me thus?
But I will be reveng'd, or hang myself.
Wou'd use me thus?
But I will be reveng'd, or hang myself.
14
AIR. V.
Then tremble all, who ever weddings made,But tremble more, who did this match perswade;
For riding on a Cat, from high I'll fall,
And squirt down royal vengeance on you all.
Doodle.
Her majesty, the queen, is in a passion.
King.
Be she, or be she not—now, by ourself,
We were indeed a pretty king of clouts,
To truckle to our consort's will,
AIR VI.
We politic Kings,Know far better things
Than e'er to our consorts to stoop;
For once you give way
To Petticoat sway,
You may for your Breeches go whoop.
Griz.
Where are now thy glories, Grizzle?
Where the drums that waken'd thee to honour?
O, what art thou greatness!
A lac'd coat from Monmouth-street,
Worn to day, put on anothers back to-morrow.
Yesterday as St. Paul's high,
To day as Fleet-ditch low.
15
Queen.
Teach me to scold, oh, Grizzle!
Mountain of treason! ugly as the devil!
Teach this confounded mouth
To spout forth words might shame
All Billingsgate to speak.
Grizzle.
But first I beg to ask,
Wherefore my Queen wou'd scold?
Queen.
Wherefore? oh! blood and thunder: han't you heard,
What ev'ry corner of the court resounds,
That little Tom will be a great man made?
Grizzle.
I heard it, I confess.
Queen.
Odsbobs! I have a mind to hang myself,
A grand-mother by such a rascal.
Sure, the King forgets
His mother put the bastard in a pudding,
And on a stile was drop'd?
O, good lord Grizzle! can I bear
To see him from a pudding mount the throne?
Or can my Huncamunca bear
To take a pudding's offspring to her arms?
Grizzle.
Oh, horror! horror!
Queen.
Then rouse thy spirit—we may yet prevent
This hated Match.
Grizzle.
We will, in spite of fate.
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AIR VII.
The Spaniel, when bid, does obey,
And twenty fine tricks shew with all;
The Soldier's observant as Tray,
And both will come to a call.
And twenty fine tricks shew with all;
The Soldier's observant as Tray,
And both will come to a call.
The Lover's more fawning than these,
Or, any Court Sycophant spark,
He'll shoot, fetch, and carry to please,
And all for a touch in the dark.
Or, any Court Sycophant spark,
He'll shoot, fetch, and carry to please,
And all for a touch in the dark.
Queen.
Oh, no! prevent the match, but hurt him not;
For tho' I should not like him for a son,
Yet can we kill the man that kill'd the Giants?
Grizzle.
I tell you, madam, it was all a trick;
He made the Giants first, and then he kill'd them.
Queen.
How! have you seen no Giants? are there not
Now in the yard, ten thousand proper Giants?
Grizzle.
I cannot positively tell,
But firmly do believe there is not one.
Queen.
Hence! from my sight! thou traytor! hie away!
By all my stars! thou enviest Tom Thumb.
Go, sirrah! go! hie away! hie!
Thou art a setting dog! begone!
Grizzle.
Madam, I go—
And Thumb shall feel the vengeance you have rais'd.
And Thumb shall feel the vengeance you have rais'd.
17
AIR VIII.
I'll roar, I'll rant, I'll rave;I'll ride on clouds; thro' seas I'll swim,
I'll for the nation dig a grave,
And bury it for my whim
Queen.
Alack-a-day oh! whither shall I go?
I love Tom Thumb, but must not tell him so;
For what's a woman when her virtue's gone?
A coat that's got no lace—wig out of buckle—
A stocking with a hole in't—I can't live
Without my virtue, or Tom Thumb:
Then let me weigh them in two equal scales;
In this put virtue, that Tom Thumb—
Alas: Tom Thumb is heavier than my virtue;
But hold!—cou'd I prevent the match,
And shou'd be left a widow,
Then Tom Thumb is mine.
AIR IX.
In that dear hope how many live?I'm not the only one;
Oh! what wou'd some fine Ladies give
To have their husbands gone!
All things new,
Ever wanting;
Joys in view,
More enchanting;
'Tis the mode e'er husbands die,
To have another in one's Eye.
The End of the First ACT.
| The Opera of Operas ; or, Tom Thumb the Great | |