 | The Opera of Operas ; or, Tom Thumb the Great |  |
18
ACT II.
SCENE I.
SCENE The Street.Enter Bailiff and Follower.
Recitativo.
Bail.Come, trusty follower, come on,
This day stand by me, and at night
Three double mugs of beer and beer expect—
This way must Noodle pass.
Foll.
No more, oh, Bailiff! ev'ry word
Inspires my soul with virtue.
Oh! I long to meet the fish, and nab him;
To lay arresting hands upon his back,
And nobly drag him to the spunging-house.
Bail.
Oh! glorious thought!
But see our prey! let us retire—
[they go aside.
Thum.
O Noodle! I am wondrous sick;
For tho' I love the gentle Huncamunca,
Yet at the thought of marriage, I grow pale;
For oh!—
Noodle.
Oh! what?
Thum.
My grand-mamma hath often said,
Tom Thumb, beware of marriage!
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Cou'd you indeed the princess gain without,
I would not have you marry,
But Sir, be jealous of old women's sayings,
If they're against it, 'tis because they're past it.
Oh! think of all the joy your soul will have.
While on her panting breast, dissolv'd in bliss,
You pour out all Tom Thumb in every kiss.
Thum.
Oh! friend thou fir'st my eager soul;
Spight of my grand-mother, she shall be mine.
AIR X.
I'll hug, I'll eat her up with love,
Whole days, and nights and years:
Our Bed shall be a shady grove,
A soft retreat from cares.
Whole days, and nights and years:
Our Bed shall be a shady grove,
A soft retreat from cares.
I will my loving gut so cram,
I never will give o'er,
Like baby, who at breast of Mam,
Tho' bursting, cries for more.
I never will give o'er,
Like baby, who at breast of Mam,
Tho' bursting, cries for more.
Noodle.
Oh, Sir! this purpose of your soul pursue.
Bail.
Oh, Sir! I have an action against you.
Noodle.
At whose suit?
Bail.
At your Taylor's Sir.
Thum.
Ha! dogs! arrest my friend before my face!
Take here your fees—
[draws and stabs 'em both.
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Oh! I'm slain!
Fol.
And, I also.
Nood.
Go both to hell like rascals as ye are.
Thumb.
Thus perish all the bailiffs in the land.
AIR XI.
Come triumph, ye Debtors, a Bailiff, vile Foe,
I've genteely sent to th'Infernals below;
And tell me where else shou'd Bailiffs go,
Who Fiendlike infest this great Town?
I've genteely sent to th'Infernals below;
And tell me where else shou'd Bailiffs go,
Who Fiendlike infest this great Town?
Let all such rank weeds of the State go to pot,
May stewing and boiling fall out to their lot;
Without more ado pluck 'em up by the root,
We cannot destroy them too soon.
May stewing and boiling fall out to their lot;
Without more ado pluck 'em up by the root,
We cannot destroy them too soon.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II.
Huncamunca's Apartment.Huncamunca, Cleora, Mustacha.
Hunc.
Give me some musick—see that it be sad.
[Solemn Musick.
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Oh! Thumb! Oh! wherefore art thou Thumb?
Why not born of Royal Race?
Why had not mighty Bantam been thy Father?
Or else the King of Brentford, Old, or New?
Why not born of Royal Race?
Why had not mighty Bantam been thy Father?
Or else the King of Brentford, Old, or New?
Cle.
Madam, the King.
Enter the King.
King.
Let all but Huncamunca leave the room.
[Exeunt Cleora and Must.
Daughter, I have observ'd of late,
Some Grief unusual in your Countenance.
Say, what's the Cause?
Ha'n't you enough of Meat and Drink?
Hunc.
Alas! my Lord, I value not myself,
That once I ate two Fowls, and half a Pig;
Small is that Praise; but Oh! a Maid may want,
What she can neither eat or drink.
King.
What's that?
Hunc.
O spare my Blushes; but I mean a Husband.
King.
If that be all, I have provided one;
A Husband great in Arms,
Whose Valour, Wisdom, Virtue, make a Noise,
Great as the Kettle-Drums of twenty Armies.
Hunc.
Whom does my Royal Father mean?
King.
Tom Thumb.
Hunc.
Is it possible?
[Smiling.
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A Country Dance of Joy is in your Face;
Your Eyes spit Fire, your Cheeks grow red as Beef.
Hunc.
Yes, I will own, since licens'd by your Word,
I'll own Tom Thumb the Cause of all my Grief:
For him I've sigh'd, I've wept, I've gnaw'd my Sheets.
King.
Then thou shalt gnaw thy Holland-Sheets no more,
A Husband thou shalt have to mumble now.
Hunc.
O happy Sound.
AIR XII.
Long my Maiden-head in keepingI have had against my Will;
It has cost me much sad weeping,
Lest I should lead Apes in Hell.
I thank my Stars that Fright is over,
I shall try the Marriage-State;
Twenty sure deserves a Lover,
Or too hard's a Princess' Fate.
King.
I see thou art.
This joyful News shall on our Tongue ride Post,
And we ourself will bear it to Tom Thumb.
This joyful News shall on our Tongue ride Post,
And we ourself will bear it to Tom Thumb.
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AIR XIII.
Yet you that take a Hero to your Arms,Can't hope t'engross him always by soft Charms:
Various his Duty, various his Delight,
Now is his turn to kiss, and now to fight;
And now to kiss again—so mighty Jove,
When with excessive thundering tir'd above;
Comes down to Earth—and takes a Bit—and then
Flies to his Trade of thundering back again.
Enter Grizzle.
Griz.
Oh! Huncamunca, Huncamunca, Oh!
Thy Breasts, like Kettle-Drums of Brass,
Beat loud Alarms of Joy;
As bright as Brass they are, and Oh! as hard.
Oh! Huncamunca! Huncamunca, Oh!
Hunc.
Ha! what Boldness' this!
Yes, Princess, well I know your Rank;
But Love nor Meanness scorns, nor Grandeur dreads.
Love often Lords into the Cellar bears,
And bids as oft the Porter come up-stairs.
For what's too high for Love, or what too low?
Oh! Huncamunca! Huncamunca, Oh!
Hunc.
But granting all you say is true,
My Love, alas! is to another due.
In vain you come,
I'm promis'd to Tom Thumb.
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And can you such a Durgen wed?
One fitter for your Pocket than your Bed?
Oh! fie! the puny Baby shun,
Or you will ne'er be brought to Bed of one.
Hunc.
If what you say be true,
This Instant I renounce my Promise.
This Instant I renounce my Promise.
AIR XIV.
By Promise I'm no longer bound;The strongest Vows must fall,
When once a seeming Man is found,
In Fact, no Man at all.
Griz.
Ah! sing that o'er again—let the
sweet Sound attend me as I fly
to Doctor's Commons for a Licence.
Hunc.
O no! lest some Disaster we shou'd meet,
'Twere better to be marry'd at the Fleet.
Griz.
Forbid it, all ye Powers!
AIR XV.
To gain the lov'd, the beauteous Fair,What various Dangers Man will run!
But when for Love your Women dare,
How greatly is he then outdone?
Beween two wide Extremes all Women move,
And more than Man, they either hate or love.
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They will employ their utmost Skill;
They'll marry, to prevent Delay,
Both when, and how, and where you will.
Between two wide Extremes all Women move,
And more than Man, they either hate, or love.
Enter Tom Thumb.
Thumb.
Where's my Princess? where's my Huncamunca?
Where are those Eyes, those Card-matches of Love,
That light up all with Love my waxen Soul?
Hunc.
Oh! what is Musick to the Ear that's deaf?
Or a Goose-Pye to him that has no Taste?
What are these Praises now to me,
Since I am promis'd to another?
Thumb.
Ha! promis'd?
Hunc.
Too sure—'tis written in the Book of Fate.
Thumb.
Then will I tear away the Leaf.
AIR XVI.
Fond to Madness,Up to the Ears in whining Sadness,
'Sdeath! what's Fate to him that doats!
Pillag'd and robb'd,
Of one we love fobb'd,
I'd not be i' th' Filcher's Coats;
He that worships God of Love,
Minds not the Decrees of Jove.
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Glum.
I need not ask if you are Huncamunca.
Hunc.
I am a Princess—and Thou—
Glum.
A Giantess; the Queen of those,
Who made and unmade Queens.
Hunc.
The Man, whose chief Ambition is to be
My Sweetheart, has destroy'd these mighty Giants.
Glum.
Your Sweetheart?
Think you the Man, who once hath worn
My easy Chains, will e'er wear thine?
Hunc.
Well may your Chains be easy,
Since try'd on twenty Husbands;
The Glove and Boot, pull'd on so many times,
May well set easy on the Hand or Foot.
Glum.
I glory in the Number.
Hunc.
Let me view nearer what this Beauty is,
That captivates the Hearts of Men by Scores.
[holds a Candle to her Face.
O Heav'n! thou art ugly as the Devil.
Glum.
The best Shoes in your Shop you'd give
To be but half so handsome.
Hunc.
Since you come to that,
I'll put my Beauty to the Test;
Tom Thumb, I'm thine, if thou wilt go with me.
Glum.
O stay, and thou alone shalt fill
That Bed, where twenty Giants us'd to lie.
Thumb.
Alas! I ne'er can do the Work of twenty.
27
AIR XVII.
Madam, pray excuse the task,Faith! I am unequal to't;
Some robuster Hero ask,
Who can better grant your Suit.
[Exeunt Thumb and Huncamunca.
Glum.
What, left! scorn'd! loath'd for such a Chit!
I feel a Storm arising in my Mind;
Tempests and Whirlwinds rise, and rowl and roar;
I'm all a Hurricane, as if
The World's four Winds were pent within my Carkass.
Confusion! Horror! Murder! Guts and Death
Enter the King.
King.
Sure never was so sad a King as I!
To love a Captive and a Giantess!
O Love! O Love! how great a King art thou!
O Glumdalca!
Glum.
What do I hear?
King.
What do I see?
Glum.
Oh!
King.
Ah!
Glum.
Ah! wretched Queeen!
King.
Oh! wretched King!
Glum.
Ah!
King.
Oh!
[Exeunt.
28
Parson.
Happy's the wooing
That's not long a doing,
And if I guess right,
Tom Thumb this Night
Shall give a Being to a new Tom Thumb.
Thumb.
It shall be my Endeavour so to do.
Hunc.
Oh fye! I vow you make me blush.
Thumb.
It is the Virgin's Sign, and suits you well.
AIR XVIII.
But Blushes, those crimson Invaders,O strange! are now criminal thought;
In Scandal and Censure the Traders,
Bye and bye will call Bussing a Fault.
An innocent Blush in us Lasses
Is Virtue but at second-hand;
If we blush, we are told by these Asses,
It is because we understand.
Recitativo.
Parson.Long may ye live, and love, and propagate,
Till the whole Land be peopled with Tom Thumbs.
AIR XIX.
So when the Cheshire-Cheese a Maggot breeds,Another and another still succeeds:
Be thousands and ten thousands they increase,
Till one continu'd Maggot fills the rotten Cheese.
Nood.
Never was Court more Bedlam-like,
All Things are so confus'd! The King's in Love,
The Queen is drunk, the Princess marry'd is.
29
Griz.
O Noodle, hast thou Huncamunca seen?
Nood.
I've seen a thousand Sights to-day:
The King, the Queen, and all the Court are Sights.
Gri.
But what of Huncamunca?
Nood.
By this time she is marry'd to Tom Thumb.—
Gri.
My Huncamunca?
Noodle.
Your Huncamunca—
Tom's Huncamunca—Every Body's Huncamunca.
Tom's Huncamunca—Every Body's Huncamunca.
AIR XX.
Desp'rate is thy Case, I swear,Women love not shill I, shall I;
Ten to one you lose the Fair,
If in Love-Affairs you dally.
There's a Crisis, which, when over,
Makes you certain of their State;
They will take the next new Lover,
And cry, sneering—You're too late.
Gri.
If this be true, all Womankind are damn'd.
Nood.
If she be not, may I be so myself.
And see she comes to prove I'm not a Lyar.
Enter Huncamunca.
Gri.
Where has my Huncamanca been?
See here the Licence in my Hand!
Hunc.
Alas! Tom Thumb.
Gri.
Why do you mention him?
Hunc.
Ah, me! Tom Thumb.—
Gri.
Ah, me! I see you're false, and I am curs'd.
Hunc.
O be not hasty to proclaim you Doom,
My ample Heart for more than one has Room;
A Maid like me Heav'n form'd at least for two;
I marry'd him, and now I'll marry you.
My ample Heart for more than one has Room;
A Maid like me Heav'n form'd at least for two;
I marry'd him, and now I'll marry you.
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AIR XXI.
Prithee no frowning—let's have no resenting,For both I've enough, if all thou didst know:
A Day or two hence you wou'd be repenting,
And wish I had kept two Strings to my Bow.
Gri.
Ha! do'st thou own thy Falshod to my Face?
Think'st thou I am so base to share thy Bed?
Think'st thou I am so base to share thy Bed?
AIR XXII.
No,—no,—I will no Rival bear,Nor unreveng'd the Willow wear.
Where's the puny modern Beau,
Can such Legs and Shoulders shew?
Modish Dame, two Lovers take,
I will have you all, or none,
But beware—the Court shall shake—
So you may go pick that Bone.
[Exit.
Hunc.
O fatal Rashness! should his Fury slay
My hapless Bridegroom on his Wedding-Day,
I, who this Morn, of two chose which to wed,
May go again this Night alone to Bed.
My hapless Bridegroom on his Wedding-Day,
I, who this Morn, of two chose which to wed,
May go again this Night alone to Bed.
AIR XXIII.
My Heart misgives me sadly!Some Lovers wo'n't be Fools;
And Oh! I've acted madly,
To fall between two Stools!
Oh! wretched Situation!
By wishing more than one,
Oh! fatal Separation!
I shall be left with none.
End of the Second Act.
| The Opera of Operas ; or, Tom Thumb the Great | |