University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

SCENE An Antichamber.
MOTHER PUNCHBOWL, LEATHERSIDES, NONPAREL, INDUSTRIOUS JENNY.
MOTHER.
Who'd be a Bawd in this degen'rate Age!
Who'd for her Country unrewarded toil!
Not so the Statesman scrubs his plotful Head,
Not so the Lawyer shakes his unseed Tongue,
Not so the Doctor guides the doseful Quill.
Say Nonparel, industrious Jenny, say,
Is the Play done and yet no Cull appears?

NONPAREL.
The Play is done: For from the Pigeon-hole
I heard them hiss the Curtain as it fell.

MOTHER.
Ha, did they hiss? Why then the Play is damn'd,
And I shall see the Poet's Face no more.
Say, Leathersides, 'tis thou that best canst tell:
For thou hast learnt to read, hast Play-bills read,
The Grubstreet Journal thou hast known to write,
Thou art a Judge; say, wherefore was it damn'd?

LEATHERSIDES.
I heard a Tailor sitting by my side,
Play on his Catcal, and cry out, sad Stuff.
A little farther an Apprentice sat,
And he too hiss'd, and he too cry'd, 'twas low.
Then o'er the Pit I downward cast my Eye,
The Pit all hiss'd, all whistled, and all groan'd.

MOTHER.
Enough. The Poet's lost, and so's his Bill.
Oh! 'tis the Tradesman, not the Poet's Hurt:
For him the Washerwoman toils in vain,
For him in vain the Taylor sits cross'd-legg'd,
He runs away and leaves all Debts unpaid.

LEATHERSIDES.
The mighty Captain Bilkum this way comes.
I left him in the Entry with his Chairman
Wrangling about his Fare.

MOTHER.
Leathersides, 'tis well.
Retire, my Girls, and patient wait for Culls.