University of Virginia Library


19

ACT II.

SCENE I.

SCENE The Street.
Bailiff, Follower.
Bail.
Come on, my trusty Follower, come on,
This Day discharge thy Duty, and at Night
A Double Mug of Beer, and Beer shall glad thee.
Stand here by me, this Way must Noodle pass.

Follow.
No more, no more, Oh Bailiff! every Word
Inspires my Soul with Virtue.—Oh! I long
To meet the Enemy in the Street—and nab him;
To lay arresting Hands upon his Back,
And drag him trembling to the Spunging-House.

Bail.
There, when I have him, I will spunge upon him.
Oh! glorious Thought! by the Sun, Moon, and Stars,
I will enjoy it, tho it be in Thought!
Yes, yes, my Follower, I will enjoy it.

Follow.
Enjoy it then some other time, for now
Our Prey approaches.

Bail.
Let us retire.

 

Mr. Rowe is generally imagin'd to have taken some Hints from this Scene in his Character of Bajazet; but as he, of all the Tragick Writers, bears the least Resemblance to our Author in his Diction, I am unwilling to imagine he would condescend to copy him in this Particular.

SCENE II.

Tom Thumb, Noodle, Bailiff, Follower.
Thumb.
Trust me my Noodle, I am wondrous sick;

20

For tho' I love the gentle Huncamunca,
Yet at the Thought of Marriage, I grow pale;
For Oh!— but swear thoul't keep it ever secret,
I will unfold a Tale will make thee stare.

Nood.
I swear by lovely Huncamunca's Charms.

Thumb.
Then know— my Grand-mamma hath often said,
Tom Thumb, beware of Marriage.

Nood.
Sir, I blush
To think a Warrior great in Arms as you,
Should be affrighted by his Grand-mamma;
Can an old Woman's empty Dreams deter
The blooming Hero from the Virgin's Arms?
Think of the Joy that will your Soul alarm,
When in her fond Embraces clasp'd you lie,
While on her panting Breast dissolv'd in Bliss,
You pour out all Tom Thumb in every Kiss.

Thumb.
Oh! Noodle, thou hast fir'd my eager Soul;
Spight of my Grandmother, she shall be mine;
I'll hug, caress, I'll eat her up with Love.
Whole Days, and Nights, and Years shall be too short
For our Enjoyment, every Sun shall rise
Blushing, to see us in our Bed together.


21

Nood.
Oh Sir! this Purpose of your Soul pursue.

Bail.
Oh, Sir! I have an Action against you.

Nood.
At whose Suit is it?

Bail.
At your Taylor's, Sir.
Your Taylor put this Warrant in my Hands,
And I arrest you, Sir, at his Commands.

Thumb.
Ha! Dogs! Arrest my Friend before my Face!
Think you Tom Thumb will suffer this Disgrace!
But let vain Cowards threaten by their Word,
Tom Thumb shall shew his Anger by his Sword.

[Kills the Bailiff and his Follower.
Bail.
Oh, I am slain!

Follow.
I am murthered also,
And to the Shades, the dismal Shades below,
My Bailiff's faithful Follower I go.

Nood.
Go then to Hell, like Rascals as you are,
And give our Service to the Bailiffs there.

Thumb.
Thus perish all the Bailiffs in the Land,
Till Debtors at Noon-Day shall walk the Streets,
And no one fear a Bailiff or his Writ.

 

This Method of surprizing an Audience by raising their Expectation to the highest Pitch, and then baulking it, hath been practis'd with great Success by most of our Tragical Authors.

Almeyda in Sebastian is in the same Distress;
Sometimes methinks I hear the Groan of Ghosts,
Thin hollow Sounds and lamentable Screams;
Then, like a dying Echo from afar,
My Mother's Voice that cries, wed not Almeyda
Forewarn'd, Almeyda, Marriage is thy Crime.

As very well he may if he hath any Modesty in him, says Mr. D---s The Author of Busiris, is extremely zealous to prevent the Sun's blushing at any indecent Object; and therefore on all such Occasions he addresses himself to the Sun, and desires him to keep out of the way.

Rise never more, O Sun! let Night prevail,
Eternal Darkness close the World's wide Scene.
Busiris. Sun hide thy Face and put the World in Mourning.
Ibid.

Mr. Banks makes the Sun perform the Office of Hymen; and therefore not likely to be disgusted at such a Sight;

The Sun sets forth like a gay Brideman with you.
Mary Q. of Scots.

Nourmahal sends the same Message to Heaven;

For I would have you, when you upwards move,
Speak kindly of us, to our Friends above.
Aurengzebe.

We find another to Hell, in the Persian Princess;

Villain, get thee down
To Hell, and tell them that the Frays begun.

22

SCENE III.

The Princess Huncamunca's Apartment.
Huncamunca, Cleora, Mustacha.
Hunc.
Give me some Musick—see that it be sad.

Cleora
sings.
[I.]

1

Cupid, ease a Love-sick Maid,
Bring thy Quiver to her Aid;
With equal Ardor wound the Swain:
Beauty should never sigh in vain.
II.

2

Let him feel the pleasing Smart,
Drive thy Arrow thro' his Heart;
When One you wound, you then destroy;
When Both you kill, you kill with Joy.

Hunc.
O, Tom Thumb! Tom Thumb! wherefore art thou Tom Thumb?
Why had'st thou not been born of Royal Race?
Why had not mighty Bantam been thy Father?
Or else the King of Brentford, Old or New?

Must.

I am surpriz'd that your Highness can give your
self a Moment's Uneasiness about that little insignificant
Fellow, Tom Thumb the Great—One properer
for a Play-thing, than a Husband.—Were he my
Husband, his Horns should be as long as his Body.—


23

If you had fallen in Love with a Grenadier, I should
not have wonder'd at it—If you had fallen in Love with
Something; but to fall in Love with Nothing!


Hunc.
Cease, my Mustacha, on thy Duty cease.
The Zephyr, when in flowry Vales it plays,
Is not so soft, so sweet as Thummy's Breath.
The Dove is not so gentle to its Mate.

Must.

The Dove is every bit as proper for a Husband
—Alas! Madam, there's not a Beau about the
Court looks so little like a Man—He is a perfect Butterfly,
a Thing without Substance, and almost without
Shadow too.


Hunc.
This Rudeness is unseasonable, desist;
Or, I shall think this Railing comes from Love.
Tom Thumb's a Creature of that charming Form,
That no one can abuse, unless they love him.

Must.
Madam, the King.

 

Anthony gives the same Command in the same Words.

Oh! Marius, Marius; wherefore art thou Marius? Otway's Marius.

Nothing is more commom than these seeming Contradictions; such as,

Haughty Weakness.
Victim. Great small World.
Noah's Flood.

SCENE IV.

King Huncamunca.
King.
Let all but Huncamunca leave the Room.
[Ex. Cleora, and Mustacha.
Daughter, I have observ'd of late some Grief,
Unusual in your Countenance—your Eyes,
That, like two open Windows, us'd to shew
The lovely Beauty of the Rooms within,
Have now two Blinds before them—What is the Cause?

24

Say, have you not enough of Meat and Drink?
We've giv'n strict Orders not to have you stinted.

Hunc.
Alas! my Lord, I value not my self,
That once I eat two Fowls and half a Pig;
Small is that Praise; but oh! a Maid may want,
What she can neither eat nor drink.

King.
What's that?

Hunc.
O spare my Blushes; but I mean a Husband.

King.
If that be all, I have provided one,
A Husband great in Arms, whose warlike Sword

25

Streams with the yellow Blood of slaughter'd Giants.
Whose Name in Terrâ Incognitâ is known,
Whose Valour, Wisdom, Virtue make a Noise,
Great as the Kettle-Drums of twenty Armies.

Hunc.
Whom does my Royal Father mean?

King.
Tom Thumb.

Hunc.
Is it possible?

King.
Ha! the Window-Blinds are gone,
A Country Dance of Joy is in your Face,
Your Eyes spit Fire, your Cheeks grow red as Beef.

Hunc.
O, there's a Magick-musick in that Sound,
Enough to turn me into Beef indeed.
Yes, I will own, since licens'd by your Word,
I'll own Tom Thumb the Cause of all my Grief.
For him I've sigh'd, I've wept, I've gnaw'd my Sheets.

King.
Oh! thou shalt gnaw thy tender Sheets no more,
A Husband thou shalt have to mumble now.

Hunc.
Oh! happy Sound! henceforth, let no one tell,
That Huncamunca shall lead Apes in Hell.
Oh! I am over-joy'd!

King.
I see thou art.
Joy lightens in thy Eyes, and thunders from thy Brows;
Transports, like Lightning, dart along thy Soul,
As Small-shot thro' a Hedge.


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Hunc.
Oh! say not small.

King.
This happy News shall on our Tongue ride Post,
Our self will bear the happy News to Thumb.
Yet think not, Daughter, that your powerful Charms
Must still detain the Hero from his Arms;
Various his Duty, various his Delight;
Now is his Turn to kiss, and now to fight;
And now to kiss again. So, mighty Jove,
When with excessive thund'ring tir'd above,
Comes down to Earth, and takes a Bit—and then,
Flies to his Trade of Thund'ring, back again.

 

Lee hath improv'd this Metaphor.

Dost thou not view Joy peeping from my Eyes,
The Casements open'd wide to gaze on thee;
So Rome's glad Citizens to Windows rise,
When they some young Triumpher fain would see.
Gloriana.

Almahide hath the same Contempt for these Appetites;

To eat and drink can no Perfection be.
Conquest of Granada.

The Earl of Essex is of a different Opinion, and seems to place the chief Happiness of a General therein.

Were but Commanders half so well rewarded,
Then they might eat.
Banks's Earl of Essex.

But if we may believe one, who knows more than either, the Devil himself; we shall find Eating to be an Affair of more moment than is generally imagined.

Gods are immortal only by their Food.
Lucifer in the State of Innocence.

This Expression is enough of it self (says Mr. D---s) utterly to destroy the Character of Huncamunca; yet we find a Woman of no abandon'd Character in Dryden, adventuring farther and thus excusing her self;

To speak our Wishes first, forbid it Pride,
Forbid it Modesty: True, they forbid it,
But Nature does not, when we are athirst,
Or hungry, will imperious Nature stay,
Nor eat, nor drink, before 'tis bid fall on.
Cleomenes.

Cassandra speaks before she is asked. Huncamunca afterwards.

Cassandra speaks her Wishes to her Lover.
Huncamunca only to her Father.
Her Eyes resistless Magick bear,
Angels I see, and Gods are dancing there.
Lee's Sophonisba.

Mr. Dennis in that excellent Tragedy, call'd Liberty Asserted, which is thought to have given so great a Stroke to the late French King, hath frequent Imitations of this beautiful Speech of King Arthur;

Conquest light'ning in his Eyes, and thund'ring in his Arm.
Joy lighten'd in her Eyes.
Joys like Light'ning dart along my Soul.
Jove with excessive Thund'ring tir'd above,
Comes down for Ease, enjoys a Nymph, and then
Mounts dreadful, and to Thund'ring goes again.
Gloriana.

SCENE V.

Grizzle, Huncamunca.
Griz.
Oh Huncamunca, Huncamunca, oh,
Thy pouting Breasts, like Kettle-Drums of Brass,
Beat everlasting loud Alarms of Joy;
As bright as Brass they are, and oh, as hard;
Oh Huncamunca, Huncamunca! oh!

Hunc.
Ha! do'st thou know me, Princess as I am,
That thus of me you dare to make your Game.


27

Griz.
Oh Huncamunca, well I know that you
A Princess are, and a King's Daughter too.
But Love no Meanness scorns, no Grandeur fears,
Love often Lords into the Cellar bears,
And bids the sturdy Porter come up Stairs.
For what's too high for Love, or what's too low?
Oh Huncamunca, Huncamunca, oh!

Hunc.
But granting all you say of Love were true,
My Love, alas! is to another due!
In vain to me, a Suitoring you come;
For I'm already promis'd to Tom Thumb.

Griz.
And can my Princess such a Durgen wed,
One fitter for your Pocket than your Bed!
Advis'd by me, the worthless Baby shun,
Or you will ne'er be brought to bed of one.
Oh take me to thy Arms and never flinch,
Who am a Man by Jupiter ev'ry Inch.
Then while in Joys together lost we lie
I'll press thy Soul while Gods stand wishing by.

Hunc.
If, Sir, what you insinuate you prove
All Obstacles of Promise you remove;
For all Engagements to a Man must fall,
Whene'er that Man is prov'd no Man at all.

Griz.
Oh let him seek some Dwarf, some fairy Miss,
Where no Joint-stool must lift him to the Kiss.
But by the Stars and Glory, you appear
Much fitter for a Prussian Grenadier;
One Globe alone, on Atlas Shoulders rests,
Two Globes are less than Huncamunca's Breasts:
The Milky-way is not so white, that's flat,
And sure thy Breasts are full as large as that.


28

Hunc.
Oh, Sir, so strong your Eloquence I find,
It is impossible to be unkind.

Griz.
Ah! speak that o'er again, and let the Sound
From one Pole to another Pole rebound;
The Earth and Sky, each be a Battledoor
And keep the Sound, that Shuttlecock, up an Hour;
To Doctors Commons, for a License I,
Swift as an Arrow from a Bow will fly.

Hunc.
Oh no! lest some Disaster we should meet,
'Twere better to be marry'd at the Fleet.

Griz.
Forbid it, all ye Powers, a Princess should
By that vile Place, contaminate her Blood;
My quick Return shall to my Charmer prove,
I travel on the Post-Horses of Love.

Hunc.
Those Post-Horses to me will seem too slow,
Tho' they should fly swift as the Gods, when they
Ride on behind that Post-Boy, Opportunity.

 

This beautiful Line, which ought, says Mr. W--- to be written in Gold, is imitated in the New Sophonisba;

Oh! Sophonisba, Sophonisba, oh!
Oh! Narva, Narva, oh!

The Author of a Song call'd Duke upon Duke, hath improv'd it.

Alas! O Nick, O Nick, alas!

Where, by the help of a little false Spelling, you have two Meanings in the repeated Words.

Edith, in the Bloody Brother, speaks to her Lover in the same familiar Language.

Your Grace is full of Game.
Traverse the glitt'ring Chambers of the Sky,
Born on a Cloud in view of Fate I'll lie,
And press her Soul while Gods stand wishing by.
Hannibal.
Let the four Winds from distant Corners meet,
And on their Wings first bear it into France;
Then back again to Edina's proud Walls,
Till Victim to the Sound th' aspiring City falls.
Albion Queen.

I do not remember any Metaphors so frequent in the Tragick Poets as those borrow'd from Riding Post;

The Gods and Opportunity ride Post.
Hannibal. —Let's rush together,
For Death rides Post.
Duke of Guise. Destruction gallops to thy murther Post.
Gloriana.

SCENE VI.

Tom Thumb, Huncamunca.
Thumb.
Where is my Princess, where's my Huncamunca?
Where are those Eyes, those Cardmatches of Love,

29

That Light up all with Love my waxen Soul?
Where is that Face which artful Nature made.
In the same Moulds where Venus self was cast?


30

Hunc.
Oh! What is Musick to the Ear that's deaf,
Or a Goose-Pye to him that has no taste?
What are these Praises now to me, since I
Am promis'd to another?

Thumb.
Ha! promis'd.

Hunc.
Too sure; it's written in the Book of Fate.

Thumb.
Then I will tear away the Leaf
Wherein it's writ, or if Fate won't allow
So large a Gap within its Journal-Book,
I'll blot it out at least.

 

This Image too very often occurs;

------Bright as when thy Eye
'First lighted up our Loves.
Aurengzebe. This not a Crown alone lights up my Name.
Busiris.

There is great Dissension among the Poets concerning the Method of making Man. One tells his Mistress that the Mold she was made in being lost, Heaven cannot form such another. Lucifer, in Dryden, gives a merry Description of his own Formation;

Whom Heaven neglecting, made and scarce design'd,
But threw me in for Number to the rest.
State of Innocency.

In one Place, the same Poet supposes Man to be made of Metal;

I was form'd
Of that coarse Metal, which when she was made,
The Gods threw by for Rubbish.
All for Love.

In another, of Dough;

When the Gods moulded up the Paste of Man,
Some of their Clay was left upon their Hands,
And so they made Egyptians.
Cleomenes.

In another of Clay;

—Rubbish of remaining Clay.
Sebastian.

One makes the Soul of Wax;

Her waxen Soul begins to melt apace.
Anna Bullen.

Another of Flint.

Sure our two Souls have somewhere been acquainted
In former Beings, or struck out together,
One Spark to Africk flew, and one to Portugal.
Sebastian.

To omit the great Quantities of Iron, Brazen and Leaden Souls which are so plenty in modern Authors—I cannot omit the Dress of a Soul as we find it in Dryden;

Souls shirted but with Air.
King Arthur.

Nor can I pass by a particular sort of Soul in a particular sort of Description, in the New Sophonisba.

Ye mysterious Powers,
—Whether thro' your gloomy Depths I wander,
Or on the Mountains walk; give me the calm,
The steady smiling Soul, where Wisdom sheds
Eternal Sun-shine, and eternal Joy.

This Line Mr. Banks has plunder'd entire in his Anna Bullen.

Good Heaven, the Book of Fate before me lay,
But to tear out the Journal of that Day.
Or if the Order of the World below,
Will not the Gap of one whole Day allow,
Give me that Minute when she made her Vow.
Conquest of Granada.

SCENE VII.

Glumdalca, Tom Thumb, Huncamunca.
Glum.
I need not ask if you are Huncamunca,
Your Brandy Nose proclaims—

Hunc.
I am a Princess;

31

Nor need I ask who you are.

Glum.
A Giantess;
The Queen of those who made and unmade Queens.

Hunc.
The Man, whose chief Ambition is to be
My Sweetheart, hath destroy'd these mighty Giants.

Glum.
Your Sweetheart? do'st thou think the Man, who once
Hath worn my easy Chains, will e'er wear thine?

Hunc.
Well may your Chains be easy, since if Fame
Says true, they have been try'd on twenty Husbands.
The Glove or Boot, so many times pull'd on,
May well sit easy on the Hand or Foot.

Glum.
I glory in the Number, and when I
Sit poorly down, like thee, content with one,
Heaven change this Face for one as bad as thine.

Hunc.
Let me see nearer what this Beauty is,
That captivates the Heart of Men by Scores.
[Holds a Candle to her Face.
Oh! Heaven, thou art as ugly as the Devil.

Glum.
You'd give the best of Shoes within your Shop,
To be but half so handsome.

Hunc.
—Since you come
To that, I'll put my Beauty to the Test;
Tom Thumb, I'm yours, if you with me will go.


32

Glum.
Oh! stay, Tom Thumb, and you alone shall fill
That Bed where twenty Giants us'd to lie.

Thumb.
In the Balcony that o'er-hangs the Stage,
I've seen a Whore two 'Prentices engage;
One half a Crown does in in his Fingers hold,
The other shews a little Piece of Gold;
She the Half Guinea wisely does purloin,
And leaves the larger and the baser Coin.

Glum.
Left, scorn'd, and loath'd for such a Chit as this;
I feel the Storm that's rising in my Mind,
Tempests, and Whirlwinds rise, and rowl and roar.
I'm all within a Hurricane, as if
The World's four Winds were pent within my Carcass.
Confusion, Horror, Murder, Guts and Death.

 

I know some of the Commentators have imagined, that Mr. Dryden, in the Altercative Scene between Cleopatra and Octavia, a Scene which Mr. Addison inveighs against with great Bitterness, is much beholden to our Author. How just this their Observation is, I will not presume to determine.

A cobling Poet indeed, says Mr. D. and yet I believe we may find as monstrous Images in the Tragick-Authors: I'll put down one;

Untie your folded Thoughts, and let them dangle loose as a
Bride's Hair.
Injur'd Love.

Which Lines seem to have as much Title to a Milliner's Shop, as our Author's to a Shoemaker's.

Mr. L--- takes occasion in this Place to commend the great Care of our Author to preserve the Metre of Blank Verse, in which Shakespear, Johnson and Fletcher were so notoriously negligent; and the Moderns, in Imitation of our Author, so laudably observant;

—Then does
Your Majesty believe that he can be
A Traitor!
Earl of Essex.

Every Page of Sophonisba gives us Instances of this Excellence.

Love mounts and rowls about my stormy Mind.
Aurengzebe. Tempests and Whirlwinds thro' my Bosom move.
Cleom.
With such a furious Tempest on his Brow,
As if the World's four Winds were pent within
His blustring Carcase.
Anna Bullen.

Verba Tragica.


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SCENE VIII.

King Glumdalca.
King.
Sure never was so sad a King as I,
My Life is worn as ragged as a Coat
A Beggar wears; a Prince should put it off,
To love a Captive and a Giantess.
Oh Love! Oh Love! how great a King art thou!
My Tongue's thy Trumpet, and thou Trumpetest,
Unknown to me, within me. oh Glumdalca!
Heaven thee design'd a Giantess to make,
But an Angelick Soul was shuffled in.
I am a Multitude of Walking Griefs,
And only on her Lips the Balm is found,
To spread a Plaister that might cure them all.

Glum.
What do I hear?

King.
What do I see?


34

Glum.
Oh!

King.
Ah!

Glum.
Ah Wretched Queen!

King.
Oh! Wretched King!

Glum.
Ah!

King.
Oh!

 

This Speech hath been terribly maul'd by the Poets.

—My Life is worn to Rags.
Not worth a Prince's wearing.
Love Triumph.
Must I beg the Pity of my Slave?
Must a King beg! But Love's a greater King,
A Tyrant, nay a Devil that possesses me.
He tunes the Organ of my Voice and speaks,
Unknown to me, within me.
Sebastian.
When thou wer't form'd, Heaven did a Man begin;
But a Brute Soul by chance was shuffled in.
Aurengzebe. —I am a Multitude.
Of walking Griefs.
New Sophonisba.
I will take thy Scorpion Blood,
And lay it to my Grief till I have Ease.
Anna Bullen:

Our Author, who every where shews his great Penetration into human Nature, here outdoes himself: Where a less judicious Poet would have raised a long Scene of whining Love. He who understood the Passions better, and that so violent an Affection as this must be too big for Utterance, chooses rather to send his Characters off in this sullen and doleful manner: In which admirable Conduct he is imitated by the Author of the justly celebrated Eurydice. Dr. Young seems to point at this Violence of Passion;

—Passion choaks
Their Words, and they're the Statues of Despair.

And Seneca tells us, Curæleves loquuntur, ingentes stupent. The Story of the Egyptian King in Herodotus is too well known to need to be inserted; I refer the more curious Reader to the excellent Montagne, who hath written an Essay on this Subject.

SCENE IX.

Tom Thumb, Huncamunca, Parson.
Parson.
Happy's the Wooing, that's not long adoing;
For if I guess aright, Tom Thumb this Night
Shall give a Being to a New Tom Thumb.

Thumb.
It shall be my Endeavour so to do.

Hunc.
Oh! fie upon you, Sir, you make me blush.


35

Thumb.
It is the Virgin's Sign, and suits you well:
I know not where, nor how, now what I am,
I'm so transported, I have lost my self.


36

Hunc.
Forbid it, all ye Stars, for you're so small,
That were you lost, you'd find your self no more.
So the unhappy Sempstress once, they say,
Her Needle in a Pottle, lost, of Hay;
In vain she look'd, and look'd, and made her Moan,
For ah, the Needle was for ever gone.

Parson.
Long may they live, and love, and propagate,
Till the whole Land be peopled with Tom Thumbs.
So when the Cheshire Cheese a Maggot breeds,
Another and another still succeeds.
By thousands, and ten thousands they increase,
Till one continued Maggot fills the rotten Cheese.

 
To part is Death—
------ 'Tis Death to part.
------ Ah.
------ Oh.
Don Carlos.
Nor know I whether.
What am I, who or where,
Busiris. I was I know not what, and am I know not how.
Gloriana.

To understand sufficiently the Beauty of this Passage, it will be necessary that we comprehend every Man to contain two Selfs. I shall not attempt to prove this from Philosophy, which the Poets make so plainly evident.

One runs away from the other;

Let me demand your Majesty?
Why fly you from your self.
Duke of Guise.

In a 2d. One Self is a Guardian to the other;

Leave me the Care of me.
Conquest of Granada.

Again,

My self am to my self less near.
Ibid.

In the same, the first Self is proud of the second;

I my self am proud of me.
State of Innocence.

In a 3d. Distrustful of him;

Fain I would tell, but whisper it in mine Ear,
That none besides might hear, nay not my self.
Earl of Essex

In a 4th. Honours him;

I honour Rome,
But honour too my self.
Sophonisba.

In a 5th. At Variance with him;

Leave me not thus at Variance with my self.
Busiris.

Again, in a 6th.

I find my self divided from my self.
Medea. She seemed the sad Effigies of her self.
Banks. Assist me, Zulema, if thou would'st be
The Friend thou seemest, assist me against me.
Albion Queens.

From all which it appears, that there are two Selfs; and therefore Tom Thumb's losing himself is no such Solecism as it hath been represented by Men, rather ambitious of Criticizing, than qualify'd to Criticize.

Mr. F--- imagines this Parson to have been a Welsh one from his Simile.

SCENE X.

Noodle, and then Grizzle.
Nood.
Sure Nature means to break her solid Chain,
Or else unfix the World, and in a Rage,
To hurl it from its Axle-tree and Hinges;
All things are so confus'd, the King's in Love,
The Queen is drunk, the Princess married is.

Griz.
Oh! Noodle, hast thou Huncamunca seen?

Nood.
I've seen a Thousand Sights this day, where none

37

Are by the wonderful Bitch herself outdone,
The King, the Queen, and all the Court are Sights.

Griz.
D---n your Delay, you Trifler, are you drunk, ha?
I will not hear one Word but Huncamunca.

Nood.
By this time she is married to Tom Thumb.

Griz.
My Huncamunca.

Nood.
Your Huncamunca.
Tom Thumb's Huncamunca, every Man's Huncamunca.

Griz.
If this be true all Womankind are damn'd:

Nood.
If it be not, may I be so my self.

Griz.
See where she comes! I'll not believe a Word
Against that Face, upon whose ample Brow,
Sits Innocence with Majesty Enthron'd.

Grizzle, Huncamunca.
Griz.
Where has my Huncamunca been? See here
The Licence in my Hand!

Hunc.
Alas! Tom Thumb.

Griz.
Why dost thou mention him?

Hunc.
Ah! me Tom Thumb.

Griz.
What means my lovely Huncamunca?

Hunc.
Hum!

Griz.
Oh! Speak.

Hunc.
Hum!

Griz.
Ha! your every Word is Hum.
You force me still to answer you Tom Thumb.

38

Tom Thumb, I'm on the Rack, I'm in a Flame,
Tom Thumb, Tom Thumb, Tom Thumb, you love the Name;
So pleasing is that Sound, that were you dumb
You still would find a Voice to cry Tom Thumb.

Hunc.
Oh! Be not hasty to proclaim my Doom,
My ample Heart for more than one has Room,
A Maid like me, Heaven form'd at least for two,
I married him, and now I'll marry you.

Griz.
Ha! dost thou own thy Falshood to my Face?
Think'st thou that I will share thy Husband's place,
Since to that Office one cannot suffice,
And since you scorn to dine one single Dish on,
Go, get your Husband put into Commission,
Commissioners to discharge, (ye Gods) it fine is,
The duty of a Husband to your Highness;
Yet think not long, I will my Rival bear,
Or unreveng'd the slighted Willow wear;
The gloomy, brooding Tempest now confin'd,
Within the hollow Caverns of my Mind.
In dreadful Whirl, shall rowl along the Coasts,
Shall thin the Land of all the Men it boasts,
And cram up ev'ry Chink of Hell with Ghosts.

39

So have I seen, in some dark Winter's Day,
A sudden Storm rush down the Sky's High-Way,
Sweep thro' the Streets with terrible ding dong,
Gush thro' the Spouts, and wash whole Crowds along.
The crowded Shops, the thronging Vermin skreen,
Together cram the Dirty and the Clean,
And not one Shoe-Boy in the Street is seen.

Hunc.
Oh! fatal Rashness should his Fury slay,
My hapless Bridegroom on his Wedding Day;
I, who this Morn, of two chose which to wed,
May go again this Night alone to Bed;
So have I seen some wild unsettled Fool,
Who had her Choice of this, and that Joint Stool;

40

To give the Preference to either, loath
And fondly coveting to sit on both:
While the two Stools her Sitting Part confound,
Between 'em both fall Squat upon the Ground.

 

Our Author hath been plunder'd here according to Custom;

Great Nature break thy Chain that links together,
The Fabrick of the World and make a Chaos,
Like that within my Soul.
Love Triumphant. —Startle Nature, unfix the Globe,
And hurl it from its Axle-tree and Hinges.
Albion Queens. The tott'ring Earth seems sliding off its Props
D---n your delay, ye Torturers proceed,
I will not bear one Word but Almahide.
Conq. of Granada.

Mr. Dryden hath imitated this in All for Love.

This Miltonick Stile abounds in the New Sophonisba.

—And on her ample Brow
Sat Majesty.
Your ev'ry Answer, still so ends in that,
You force me still to answer you Morat.
Aurengzebe.

Morat, Morat, Morat, you love the Name. Aurengzebe.

Here is a Sentiment for the Virtuous Huncamunca (says Mr. D---s) and yet with the leave of this great Man, the Virtuous Panthea in Cyrus, hath an Heart every whit as Ample;

For two I must confess are Gods to me,
Which is my Abradatus first, and thee.
Cyrus the Great.

Nor is the Lady in Love Triumphant; more reserv'd, tho' not so intelligible;

—I am so divided,
That I grieve most for both, and love both most.

A ridiculous Supposition to any one, who considers the great and extensive Largeness of Hell, says a Commentator: But not so to those who consider the great Expansion of immaterial Substance. Mr. Banks makes one Soul to be so expanded that Heaven could not contain it;

The Heavens are all too narrow for her Soul.
Virtue Betray'd.

The Persian Princess hath a Passage not unlike the Author of this;

We will send such Shoals of murther'd Slaves,
Shall glut Hell's empty Regions.

This threatens to fill Hell even tho' it were empty; Lord Grizzle only to fill up the Chinks, supposing the rest already full.

Mr. Addison is generally thought to have had this Simile in his Eye, when he wrote that beautiful one at the end of the third Act of his Cato.

This beautiful Simile is founded on a Proverb, which does Honour to the English Language;

Between two Stools the Breech falls to the Ground.

I am not so pleased with any written Remains of the Ancients, as with those little Aphorisms, which verbal Tradition hath delivered down to us, under the Title of Proverbs. It were to be wished that instead of filling their Pages with the fabulous Theology of the Pagans, our modern Poets would think it worth their while to enrich their Works with the Proverbial Sayings of their Ancestors. Mr. Dryden hath chronicl'd one in Heroick;

Two ifs scarce make one Possibility.
Conquest of Granada.

My Lord Bacon is of Opinion, that whatever is known of Arts and Sciences might be proved to have lurked in the Proverbs of Solomon. I am of the same Opinion in relation to those above mention'd: At least I am confident that a more perfect System of Ethicks, as well as Oeconomy, might be compiled out of them, than is at present extant, either in the Works of the Antient Philosophers, or those more valuable, as more voluminous, ones of the modern Divines.

The End of the Second ACT.