University of Virginia Library

ACT V.

Scene I.

Enter Rogero, Angelline and Juliana.
Rog.

Well! well, I am satisfi'd. I love Reason, and am easily perswaded
in the way of Reason, or so: A little of it goes a great way
with me; and when once I find it, why the Dispute's at an end.—I give it over,
I am silent, not a word, not a syllable? Mum for me!

Ang.

Indeed you have heard the Truth of what I know?

Jul.

Nothing has been omitted.

Rog.
Why very well—You see I am satisfi'd.
But how the world may be mistaken in a Philosopher!

Angelline! Come hither. Come, I must take you to task a little upon the
Point, or so. Nay, look thy natural Father in the face Child. Why this same
Alphonso looks like a vigorous Rogue upon occasion: He had thee alone, that
he had: Prithee how did he behave himself? Ha! what I warrant you, he kis't
you.

Ang.
No indeed!

Rog.
What did he not kiss you? Put you to the squeak, or so;
Tickle you, tumble you—Or—

Ang.
No Sir, Nothing of all these.

Rog.

Why, what a Pox, neither kiss, tickle or tumble, fumble or mumble
you? What did he not offer you a Testimony of his Manhood, Child?

Ang.
I do not understand you!

Rog.
Nay, no Blushes for the matter! a man may do that in a civil way
To shew his Breeding, Child: That he may, and no harm done.
But for Alberto—

Jul.
Sir, May he do so?

Rog.
Ay, and be whipt thro' the Guts too for his pains, Madam.

Jul.
I hope not so.

Rog.

Nay, I should be sorry for't: That's the truth on't: But I heard
Alphonso talk something suspitiously that way.

Jul.
O Sir, If you have pity for misfortune,
Fly, and prevent this mischief: I have told you
The Cause of these mistakes. Clara, and I
Have been too blame: But he is innocent.

Rog.

Nay, I am easily mollifi'd: I love an honest Whoremaster with all my
Heart, that I do; and as far as old Roger will go, by Jupiter, it shall be at his service.
But we must make haste, that we must—

[Exeunt.
Scene Changes to Alphonso's House.
Enter Alphonso and Erminia.
Alph.
You know my purpose: Therefore be advis'd,
And manage this Design with your best Art;
I know your Letter soon will bring him here;
'Twill Conjure him, from his cool honest thoughts,
Into the warmer Circle of your Arms.

Erm.
Alass! What means this preparation?

Alph.
Ha! What means that Question now? Is this a Time?

Erm.
If I am doubted!

Alph.
If I were a man,
Or any thing, but a fond Womans Fool,
A Husband, Death! you durst not trifle thus!
Why will you drive my Nature to extreams?
Would you not have me satisfi'd?

Erm.
I would.

Alph.
This is the only way.

Erm.
I fear th'Event.

Alph.
Th'Event, of what? what is that you fear?
Have you a Cause of fear?

Erm.
I have a near one,
Dear as my peace, and far above my life,
Your safety is the Cause of all my fears.

Alph.
No more—I hear him coming, you receive him
As I advis'd: You know the rest.—

[Retires.
A SONG written by Sir George Ethridge.

Enter Alberto.
Alb.
So the kind Nymph, dissolving as she lay,
Expecting sigh'd, and chid the Shepherds stay:
When panting to the Joy, he flew, to prove
The Immortality of Life and Love.

Erm.
I must, but know not how to Act this Part.

Alb.
Turn not away: I see the God of Love
Is busie in thy heart; He shoots his fires
Through every Pore, and kindles every Vein,
And now he mounts in blushes on thy Cheeks,
That tell me all, and summon on my joy.
Say Madam, is't not so?

Erm.
Nay, now my Lord.

Alb.
Your looks confess it: Every glance declares
For Love and me; Whilest your hot glowing Eyes,
Like golden Planets flaming from their Sphears,
Shine out, and guide me safe into your Arms.

Erm.
Why do you talk thus to me?

Alb.
I confess I am too blame,
When this kind opportunity informs me,
There are a Thousand better Arguments,
Of more convincing Virtue to prevail,
Than all the unperforming sensless noise,
That talking love can offer to the Fair.

Erm.
You wrong my meaning still.

Alb.
I would not wrong it:
Nor injure you so far, to think you can
Mean otherwise: Away, this modesty
Is the dull Virtue of a Marriage Bed;
The Idol only of a Husbands Zeal!

Erm.
A Husband! Then my Fit returns agen.
Why did you name him?

Alb.
Nay the Devil knows.

Erm.
At the least mention of that word, I start,
And the remembrance of my sufferings
Freezes my blood, and leaves me pale with fear.

Alb.
There is no danger in a Lovers Arms.

Erm.
But did you know what I have suffer'd!

Alb.
All, I've heard it all, and know the unlucky Cause,
The Letter that I sent—

Erm.
What Letter?

Alb.
That, that fell into Alphonso's hands.

Erm.
I've seen one from the Duke.

Alb.
It was from me.

Erm.
Is't possible from you?

Alb.
The Story shall imploy an idler hour,
And Satisfie you in each Circumstance;
Why I subscrib'd the Duke to my Design.

Erm.
I dread the Consequence.

[Aside.
Alb.
You see the straits
The hazardous attempts, that ventrous Love
Ingages on his way to Happiness:
Yet these are nothing now, tho' I have tired
The Expectation of a Chymists hope,
This Golden Birth at last rewards my Toil.

Erm.
Forbear, my Lord.

Alb.
Forbear!

Erm.
I must not hear you.

Alb.
Why?

Erm.
Think who I am?

Alb.
I do.

Erm.
Whose Wife I am.

Alb.
For that it matters not: Since you are mine.

Erm.
O unexampled villany—

[Aside.
Alb.
But why?
O! why these scruples now? I thought last night
Had satisfi'd all doubts.

Erm.
Last night, my Lord?

Alb.
Nay, then I must refresh your memory!

Erm.
This Insolence is Brutal.

Alb.
Tho' I find
Your purpose plainly meant to my abuse,
I think the management of your Design,
Exceeds the peevish follies of your Sex:
Alass! We might have parted upon easier Terms;
For Faith you wrong me, Madam, if you think
I came to find out Constancy, or Preach
It to a Woman. I've been your Guest indeed,
Have met a hearty Welcome; and last night,
That Bawdy night, and honest Clara knows
I have not been ungrateful: So, I leave you
To the fresh youth of your next Customer.

Enter Alphonso, with a Pistol.
Alph.
Thy own words be thy Sentence!

Alb.
How? Betray'd!

Erm.
My fears are come upon me; O some power
Divert this mischief! Help for Heaven's sake! help.

[Runs out.
Alph.
No Humane help can come between thy Lusts
And my revenge: Despair, and Curse thy self.

Alb.
You wo' not murder me?

Alph.
'Tis Justice now
That arms against thy Crimes, and strikes in me:
Therefore, prepare—

Alb.
Yet throw away your odds;
And do not basely thus attempt my life.

Alph.
That baseness is your own: For face to face,
When brave men shew their Actions to the Sun,
You could not wrong my Honour, or my Name,
But by base practises, and midnight Arts,
You found the weakness of a Womans Guard,
And there surpriz'd me, take the just Reward—
[The Pistol not going off,—draws his Sword.
Fortune I thank thee: Thou instructs my rage.

Alb.
I wish no more Advantage. Now come on.

Alph.
This brings thy certain Fate.

Alb.
That's yet to try.—

[Fight.
Alph.
Thy blood shews thou art mortal: Yet unsay
What thou hast said.

Alb.
Were Fate within thy power,
I'd scorn my life at such a sordid price.

Alph.
Then have thy Wish: O were the Strumpet here,
That my just Sword might joyn your Bodies close
As your glew'd Lusts.—This, Villain to thy Heart,
Thou hast it there; and she shall quickly follow.

Fight, Alb. falls.
[Going out, justles Rogero at the Door.
Enter Rogero.
Rog.
Why, what a Pox, here's fine doings indeed!
If Whoremasters fall off at this rate, our Women
Are likely to have a Comfortable time on't, that's
Certain, Maiden-heads may hang as long as our Medlars
Do, and mellow into Marmalet, That they may.

Alb.
Some help I hope!

Rog.
What, you are not kill'd then you say! Only dril'd through
The Guts or so, to cool your Liver, my Lord?

Alb.
The loss of blood has made me faint.

Rog.
Ah! what say you now to the Conjuration of a Black-brow'd
Wench? Would not that raise you, ha?

Alb.
Your Arm will do it better, Sir I thank you!
But if you would be truly Charitable,
Follow Alphonso; you may yet prevent him,
Tho' he has vow'd the murder of his Wife.

Rog.
Mercy upon us! why, what a bloody minded Monster
Is a Cuckold in Imagination.
[Enter Juliana and Angelline.
Oh: You come in time! here lead him in;
Nay, no crying for the matter, Madam: He has
Sprung a leak or so; that's the truth on't: But lend
You but a helping hand, and I warrant him
He serves agen, that he does—

[Exit.
Alb.
Juliana here! I know humanity
Instructs the world to pity the distress'd,
But oh! in thee, in thee whom I have wrong'd,
This tenderness, these kind forgiving tears,
Shew most amazing Goodness, far above
The natural frailty of a Womans Love.

Jul.
Abandon'd and forsaken, at my Birth,
Of every Star, I live an outcast here!
Doom'd by my guilty Fate to this curs't day
For thy undoing—I have been the Cause
Of thy misfortunes.

Alb.
Thou the Cause! Tho' thou
Art Truth it self; In this I would prefer
The Obstinacy of an Infidel,
And 'twere less sin, than that injurious Faith.

Jul.
I cannot look upon those bleeding Wounds
Without a fear that sinks me.

Alb.
I have none,
I hope, that dangerously threaten me.

Jul.
Within, my Story shall confirm, what I
Have said, and satisfie your Doubts.

Alb.
I go;
Guessing in vain at what I long to know.—

[Exeunt.
Enter Alphonso with a Dagger against Erminia.
Alph.
Nay—'Tis in vain: You should have thought before,
Now 'tis too late.

Erm.
Oh! why that dreadful Dagger?

Alph.
No stirring hence: There is no safety for thee!
Think, think what thou hast done.

Erm.
Alass! Your words
Speak terror to me, and I fear you now!

Alph.
I know thou dost.

Erm.
O! Do not kill me Sir.

Alph.
Not kill thee! why, this Impudence exceeds
The measure of thy sins; and nothing but
A dead stupidity that waits on guilt,
Could urge that now: Not kill thee! have a Care,
That thought that flatters thee into a hope
Of Life, betrays thee to Damnation:
For hadst thou Lives in Number to thy Lusts,
Not one should scape me: No, I would not lend thee
One last repenting hour to save thy Soul.

Erm.
Yet hold my Lord—

Alph.
None of your Womans Arts,
To soften my Resolve.—

Erm.
Hear me but speak!

Alph.
Have I not heard enough? Methinks my Ears
Are full of Cuckold still, yet I will hear thee, say
On what foundation canst thou raise a hope
Of mercy? Is't from my Natures sufferance?
A Florentine's forgiveness, thou can'st hope;
Or from the Venial Quality, you whore,
Of your offending. O you Strumpet down!
Down to your lewd Adulterer—

[Going to stab her.
Enter Lorenzo, who interposes and takes the Dagger.
Lor.
Oh hold, Alphonso—Hold! Are you a man?

Alph.
Protect her not: For I have vowed her death.

Lor.
Murder your wife!

Alph.
A Whore, a Whore, Lorenzo! practis'd long
In the hot exercise of Letchery,
Ripen'd in Sin, and ready to be damn'd.

Lor.
This is a Mad-mans rage, To be restrain'd
By force if you go on.

[Draws.
Alph.
Nay then 'tis plain,
You would maintain her in her Trade?

Lor.
I will defend her Innocence.

Alph.
Her Innocence!
Or I am mad, or this will make me so;
Alberto has confess't it, in these Ears
Proclaim'd me Cuckold. Needs there other proof?

Lor.
Not of his vanity: But I can bring
One more Convincing of her Innocence!

Alph.
Words, idle words. Lorenzo! give me way.

Lor.
It must be through my Breast, if you come on.

Alph.
Nay, Since it must be so.—

Just ingaging Erminia throws her self between 'em.
Erm.
O let me here
Attone this difference: Let your fury fall
Upon my life, and cut me from my Woes;
You think me false, my Lord; and in that thought
Are bury'd all my hopes: High Heav'n that knows
My Bosom'd Soul must witness to this truth,
Since Love and you no more, no more are mine;
The Comforts of this life are mine no more,
And death alone can be my Refuge now.

Enter Rogero.
Rog.
How's this! Swords drawn upon a Woman: Since
Wars must ensue, I declare for the Subject: Old Rogero
Stands up for the Property of the Petticoat, that's certain:
Speak, what say you?—Is't a Battel Royal, or no?

Alph.
Prithee be gone! This is no fooling time.

Rog.

Why very well, Now you say something, Y' have fool'd it long
enough in Conscience already; murder your Wife for not making you a Cuckold!
By Jupiter, I thought the Devil in the Family!

Alph.

How, that agen Regero?

Rog.

Nay Sir, I stand to my word, and over and over agen say, that Alberto's
an Ass; as a certain Gentlewoman within, one Juliana can testifie at large.

Alph.

What dost thou mean?

Rog.

Mean Sir! Don't you know what I mean? Why then Sir I'le tell you
what I mean! In the first place I mean to be heard. And secondly, Tho' it be
a little unreasonable, because I trouble you but seldom, I expect to be understood
Sir, that I do: For as I was saying, this Juliana out of a regard to her
former Acquaintance with Alberto, finding his Designs on the Body of your
Wife there; and my Daughter, has out of a Conscionable Discretion supplied
their places, and fobb'd him off with her own proper Person.—And there's my
meaning out now.

Alph.
Why this is wonderful, but tell me how?

Rog.
How Sir! May be I won't! May be I can't tell you how!
I did not hold the Door, or Pimp to the Project; I,
But there comes a Gentleman can tell you more.

Enter Alberto, led by Juliana and Angelline, and her Mother.
Alb.
Thy Story Juliana has subdu'd
My wilder thoughts, and fixt me only Thine:
Bur oh! Instruct me how I shall appear
Before that injur'd Fair, whose Innocence
Too late I find I have unjustly wrong'd
Beyond a hope of Pardon.

Alph.
Wrong'd said'st thou? Wrong'd? Lorenzo! Dost thou hear him?
Even he, Alberto! He, who best can tell
If she be so, says that my Wife is wrong'd:
You talk'd of Innocence, whose Innocence? O speak!
Inform me strait, and save me from my fears.

Alb.
I must confess my wild Intemperance
Urging me on, my busie thoughts were all
Lawlesly loose, and ready for the Spoil
Of Chaste Erminia's Virtue.

Alph.
Ha—What Grounds?
On what Encouragement did you proceed?
Any from her?

Alb.
Oh never! All I had
Was from my fond perswading vanity:
Till Clara came, and gave me fuller hopes.

Alph.
Clara!

Lor.
She has confess't her Treachery!

Alph.
Impudent damning Whore!

Lor.
Last night my Lord!
You may remember we met here.

Alb.
We did.

Lor.
Came you abroad so late to take the Air?

Alb.
'Twas Clara summon'd me, and I obey'd.

Lor.
Erminia was the Feast she bid you to!

Alb.
That was the Invitation: But I find
I stand indebted for my Welcome here.

[To Juliana.
Lor.
That Clara too confirms.

Alph.
Why does there need
A farther Proof?—The Circumstances joyn
In full Consent, to clear her to the World.
[Goes to Ermina.
O let me thus make sure of Happiness!
Thus panting, fold thee in the Arms of Love,
Till my repenting thoughts, and subdu'd fears,
Confessing thy Dominion in my Heart,
Make room to entertain thy Triumph there.

Rog.

Your Servant, my Lord: Here's a slight Commodity, A Maidenhead
here; if your Appetite be up agen: We have stole Custom and can afford you
a pen'worth.

Alb.
I have paid for that already.

Lor.
Pray explain your self.

Alb.
I bought her of that reverend Matron there, her Mother.

Rog.
Hem! hem! hem.

Moth.
What will become of me?

Lor.
Rogero! I confess I had design'd
Thy Daughter for my Wife!

Rog.
With all my Heart.—

Lor.
But since she proves of such a virtuous strain,
And on the surer side, I dare not trust my Honour
With her Mothers Infamy.

Rog.
Ay, as you say. 'Tis that forbids the Banes.—Her mother there!

Lor.
There is no other Cause?

Rog.
Here take her then: By Jupiter she's yours.

Lor.
What dost thou mean?

Rog.

Only to let you know, That the Prisoner at the Bar there, is no
Mother of Angellines; no Matrimonial Consort of mine, but the natural iniquity
of my youth.

Lor.

Your Whore!

Rog.

My Concubine, an't shall please you, of starving memory: Whom,
when Angellines Mother dy'd, I entertain'd, for the Reputation of being in
Fashion, and the Breeding of my Daughter.

Lor.
A hopeful Education truly Sir!
But now she is my Care!

Rog.

Amen to that, with more Devotion than ever the Parish-Priest said it in
his Prayers: Why, I am young agen, I could caper, sing, come over a stick, or
any thing in the humour I am in.

Moth.

I hope you'l pardon me.

Rog.

Why, what did I set you up for, but to follow your trade? I know
a Whore run's as naturally into a Bawd, as a young man into Letchery and the
Pox.

Alb.

Or as an old man into Impotence, and Law Suits: Come Rogero! You
must forgive her: You see in all Civil Governments, Bawds, as well as Lawyers
past the Exercise of the Bar, are consider'd for their Experience; and both have
their Chamber-Practice allowed them, for the Benefit of the Publick.

Rog.

Nay then your Servant Sir! I am satisfi'd, if the Government allows
it: And am satisfi'd 'tis a Civil Government for allowing it. And so your Servant
agen.

Lor.
Our joys are now Compleat.

Alph.
By Heav'n they are
So purely perfect, nothing can remain
Worthy a Wish: You two are all the World.

Erm.
Oh happiness of Life, and Innocence!

Alph.
And Innocence is prov'd: Oh there's the thing.
For 'tis a Womans falsest, vainest pride
To boast a Virtue, that has ne're been try'd:
—In equal folly too those Husbands live,
Who peevishly against themselves, contrive
By early fears, to hasten on the Day;
For jealousie but shews our Wives the Way:
And if the forked Fortune be our Doom,
In vain we strive; The Blessing will come home.

[Ex. Omnes.