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The Carnival

A Comedy
  
  
  

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 1. 
SCENA I.
  
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SCENA I.

Enter Lorenzo leading Elvira; Alvaredo, Antonio, Ferdinando, Beatrice, Miranda, Quintagona; Servant and Attendants.
Lorenzo.
You're welcome, Gallants, infinitely
Welcome: there is no pleasure
Like to this, Meet our Friends, and eat
Together! well fare England say I; for
I have been inform'd by credible Merchants,
That there they often meet together, eat
Together, and drink together. Come,
Come, take your Seats. Madam, what
Think you of an Ayre, as they are serving

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In? nay, it shall be one of my own Composing;
For, some years past, when I was not so
Much taken up with business, I did employ
My time in Poesie.

Elv.
What you please, my Lord.

Lor.
Bartolo, bid them sing the Song was
Sung when I acted the Sea-god with the
Cornucopia. Ah, Bartolo, those were merry
Days! thou didst Act Tantalus, I remember: troth
It was a very dainty Masque; for all
The Company were kept in suspence till the last, and
Did never comprehend what we meant.

Fer.
That could not chuse but be rare.

Lor.
Why, I have writ Verses
That the best Wit in Sevil will never be able to
Understand.

Anto.
Very likely, my Lord:
But I hope these we are to hear
[They serve whilst this is singing.
Are not of that strain.

Lor.
That you shall be Judge of.

The SONG.
Those that do talk of Sysiphus stone,
Which makes him continually rolling to sweat;
And call that a Hell, when in faith it is none;
For no Torment is like to the wanting of meat.
Then alack poor Tantalus, Tantalus cryes,
I only can feed by the sight of my Eyes!
The Vulture that feeds on Prometheus heart,
Oh how happy does him poor Tantalus think!
For when he has quite consumed that part
The Curse of the Wretch affords new meat and drink.
Then alack poor Tantalus, Tantalus cryes,
I only can feed by the sight of my Eyes!

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When first against heaven the Giants did rebell,
It was not Ambition that made them such Hectors;
But hearing of dainty Ambrosia tell,
They had a mind to taste of it, and tipple the Nectar.
Then, &c.

Anto.
Most excellent, faith!
But pray what Feet do you allow
Your Verses, my Lord?

Lor.
Feet, ha, ha, ha!
Pox of Feet; let them regard them
That live by them.

Mir.
Pray, my Lord, who are they?

Lor.
Why, Dancing-Masters, Foot-men,
And Treaders of Mortar.

Mir.
Nay, my Lord, I can name you
Another sort of men that live by their feet:
What think you of Cowards that run away
To save their lives? yet more
Miraculous, I have seen a man take breath
By his feet.

Lor.
May be, young Lady, you have heard so;
For I think I know the world as well as you;
And yet I do not remember the knowledge
Of any such matter. Oh stay, may be it is
The little begging Boys that stand on their heads
In Normandy, as I have read.

Omnes.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Mir.
No, no, my Lord, it is the man
That teaches the Teresian Nuns to play on
The Organs; for he blows the Bellows with his
Own natural feet.

Lor.
By my faith, that is true;
'Twas well thought on I confess.
But come, Gallants, take your Seats;
Me thinks here is some body wanting:
Signior Ferdinando, where is your Brother?


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Fer.
I know not, my Lord;
But he will not fail to be here I know.

Lor.
Fail! no marry I hope so,
H'll not serve his old friend so.
Come, Signior, I begin a Health.
Who waits there! Come, every man his glass:
Bartolo, see mine fill'd high.
[They give every one a Glass: the Page fills his Lords from behind Bartolo.
Signiors, a Health to all these
Ladies; send them rich, proper,
And able men to their husbands.

[Enter Felices.
Fel.
S'death, Sancho, didst thou see that conveyance.

[They all drink.
San.
See it, yes, and do admire at it:
Pray, Sir, appear not yet, I'll make your Excuse,
And take upon me to wait.

[Felices stands undiscovered.
Lor.
Who are you, friend?

[Then Enter Sancho.
San.
A servant to Signior Felices,
Who begs your Lordships pardon for his stay,
And desires you will proceed in your mirth,
He hopes to wait on you before the end on't:

Lor.
He shall be wellcome, friend.

Mir.
My Lord, these Ladies will take it ill if you make
No distinction, they will think the time long
If they stay till I deserve a husband.

Lor.
I humbly crave their pardons,
Ladies, I thought no harm.

Elv.
Fie, my Lord, you must not seriously consider
What is spoke in mirth.

Beat.
I find, my Lord, you are not acquainted with
The mad humour of my young sister, she says
Any thing to any body.

Lor.
Say ye so, faith, young Lady, and I'll drink
Your health in particular for that too.
Nay, all these Ladies;
Some wine to all there (Bartolo, I say;
Boy be careful:)
And yours, pretty Cousin, thus I begin.

Whil'st they are all filling the second time, Sancho steals a

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Tankard, and when the Page has done behind Bartolo, Emptyes the rest in, and conveys it to the Cup-board.

Ant.
Mine's off, my Lord.

Lor.
I thank yee, Sir. Signior Alvaredo,
Signior Fernando, Come lets be merry,
Nay, wee'll have a Masque anon; shall we not?
Faith wee'll all be very merry.

Alv.
As you please, my Lord?
What shall the subject be, my Lord.

Lor.
How Vulcan and Venus were Catcht in a
Net together by the cunning of that
Cuckoldly Rogue Mars.

Mir.
We had better have a devout story,
How Jonas swallowed the Whale, and spew'd him up
Upon the Coast of Gibraltar.

Omnes.
Ha, ha, ha.

Lor.
Truly, young Cousin, 'twas the Whale swallowed Jonas,
As I it take; I'm sure my book is false printed else.

Mir.
Well, well, that's all one, it was one of them.

Lor.
That I confess.
Come, gallants, now to the fair Elvira, in particular,
Boy, some wine; wine there to those Gentlemen.

Boy.
Pish, Bartolo, the Devil, here's none in;

Bar.
Away, ye fumbling Rogue.

Lor.
Why, Sirrah, where's this wine?

Boy.
My Lord, the Cock is stop'd.

Fer.
Come, my Lord, your glass, your glass.

Lor.
Ye Rogue, ye Dog, to the Cupboard.

San.
Ha, ha, ha, Enter, Sir, Enter, now is your Cue.

Enter Fel.
Ha, ha, ha, ha; ha, ha, ha.

Comes in, stumbles upon the screen, through which Lorenzo's head falls: they all rise.
Lor.
Boutua, Crispo, help me

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Here, my head is in the stocks!

Sancho goes to help him, and cuts off half his Beard.
San.
So, my Lord, so. Have I not trim'd him well?

[to Felices.
Fel.
Away, Rogue, be not seen.
How is it, my Lord? I crave your pardon.

Lor.
Why, very well, very well, no harm.

Omnes.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Lor.
You'r very merry, Gallants, troth I'm glad to see you so:
Come, wee'll in, and see the masque; this screen has discompos'd
Our table: Bartolo, Cover again within.

Bar.
Gesous!

Lor.
What ails the fellow?

Bar.
Ails me, quoth'u?

Omnes.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Lor.
Pray walk in, Gallants, pray walk in;
I'm glad to see you thus merry,
Come, I'll lead the way.
[Exit Lorenzo.

Alv.
Antonio, how the Devil came his Beard off?

Ant.
Ha, ha, ha, I know not, I.

Fel.
Nay, 'tis but half his Beard:
Come Ladies, let's in, I hope he wont perceive
It all this night.

Mir.
This is your doings, I'll lay my life,
But I swear 'twas quick, none could perceive how.

Exeunt Omnes.
Enter Ferdinando.
Fer.
A man so much unfit to mix with mirth
Converts to poison what is others joy;
I have done wrong to my fair Beatrice,
Nor will her Brother, though he be my friend,
Forget an injury of such a Nature,
Should she disclose it to him:
As sure she must.
Elvira too; his Mistriss; O my fate!
Nay, rather, O my falshood!
Why, didst thou swerve to my undoing so!

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They both are fair. Nor was it that I thought
Elvira fairer then the other was,
But mans inconstant nature still must crave,
A Beauty that hee's not acquainted with,
Why should it, though?
Oh, Ask the god of love, and surely he
Will say, that ranging proves his Deity.
Pedro, Come hither,
[Enter Pedro.
Here take this note, and leave it in my Brothers Chamber,
I am resolv'd to leave the Town to night,
Make my things ready, you must follow me.

Ped.
I'll do all your Commands
With the most expedition I can,
Pray, master, let me wait upon you,
Whither is't you go?

Fer.
To Salamanca; some troubles I expect,
And will not wait their sad arrival.

Ped.
What, here, Sir?

Fer.
I, here, what's that to thee?
I will away to night.

Ped.
Where shall I meet you, Sir,

Fer.
I'll.—

Ped.
I shall not fail, Sir,
What shall I tell your other servants?

Fer.
Bid them look well unto my house,
And there expect my farther Orders,
Let them pay my Brother
The same respect they would do me,
Make haste, for I'll expect you where I said.

Ped.
Ha, what whim is this?
Presto, be gone, and none knows why;
His Brother knows not on't neither,
There's something more then yet I understand;
Oh, now I suspect shrewdly.

Enter Beatrice.
Beat.
Pedro, where is thy Master?

Ped.
Madam?

Beat.
Where is your Master, friend?

Ped.
Why, Madam, I suppose you know.


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Beat.
Prithee, tell him I must needs speak with him,
And have taken this opportunity to slip out.

Ped.
Madam, hee's already on his journey;

Beat.
Journey, what journey?
O my I'll boding mind.

[Aside.
Ped.
Nay, Madam, you may trust me,
I am to follow him presently.

Beat.
Trust thee; I that I will with any thing,
Come, I'll go with thee,
But think'st thou hee's already out of Town?

Ped.
I, I, Madam, he wait's our coming at.—

Beat.
Disloyal man, but yet I'll be
[Aside.
Reveng'd or die in's sight,—
Canst thou not help me to disguise my self,
One of thy Masters sutes will serve.

Ped.
Yes, Madam, I'm going home,
A sute of his will be too big, borrow you another,
There's none can see you Enter,
I have the key of the back gate,
And there—

Beat.
I understand you, friend; some lead the way,
[Exit Ped.
'Tis anger now, not love shall be my guide
Since he is false; Anger I'll be thy bride.
Exit Beat.

Enter Miranda, Quintagona.
Miran.
I know? how should I know where she is?
You are her Counseller, can't you tell?

Quin.
Come, Come, leave your flirts and your tricks,
And do not fright me so;
I'm sure the care I have still had of you
Do's not deserve this usage.

[Crys.
Mira.
Away, away, do's your Reverend wit
Think to put a trick upon me?

Quin.
I, I, Why, when did I play tricks,
Troth either tell me quickly, or I'll acquaint

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Your Brother with your dealings,
I play tricks?

Mir.
I, do, do Nurse, hee'l thank ye for the care
You take of us.

Quin.
O Heavens, I shall be Murthered!
[Crys and kneels.
If ever you'll have mercy on my rage,
Deliver me now from my Apprehensions.

Mir.
What apprehensions, Nurse, prithee speak,
Art thou serious?

Quin.
I, I, too too serious;
Why I saw Don Fernando steal away;
And presently after followed your sister;
I thought it was but to talk a word
In private; but now alack aday, where are they?
O Foolish creature! could she not tell me her mind,
I would have contriv'd all better:
Now if my Master should miss her,
Oh, here he is! what shall we say?

[Enter Alvaredo, Felices.
Alv.
What made him go away so suddenly,
I saw him drest in deepest Melancholly,
From the first moment that he entred here.

Fel.
Faith, Sir, I know not;
'Tis a disease you never saw me troubled with.

Alv.
Quintagona, where is my sister?

Quin.
Oh, Sir! she has been very ill, and has
Tane Don Elvira's Coach home.

Alv.
Why did you let her go alone?
Go, follow, ye old fool.

Quin.
I shall, Sir.
Come, young Mistriss.

[Exit Quint. Miranda going out.
Mir.
Don Felices, pray follow immediately to our house,
I must needs speak with you.

Fel.
What, more devices?

Mir.
No, I am serious.

Fel.
Well, I'll be with you strait.

Alv.
Come, let's go see if that he be gone home.

Fel.
Content, I'll wait upon you, Sir.

[Exeunt.