University of Virginia Library

ACTUS V.

SCENA I.

Enter Lorenzo, Bartolo.
Bart.
Pray, my Lord, do not go abroad.
I dare not tell him, hee'll be out on's wits.

[aside.
Lor.
Why not? why not, good Bartolo?
It is a day of mirth, I love to see them merry:
I was a merry man when I was young,
And lov'd these brave Devices;
Once on this time of Carnival I rid,
And with a Line and Hook I firk'd the peoples hats off,
'Tis true some unruly fellow's grew angry, and I was beaten,
But all the Ladies said I fish'd for hearts,
They were so taken with my Garb.

Bar.
Very likely, my Lord,
But why will you go now? you are not of an age
To Masquerade it through the streets.

Lor.
What then, ye fool?
Think'st I have I cannot see others? ha?

Bar.
Yes, my Lord;
But here every body will see you.

Lor.
Why, what then?
I have committed no treason.
I dare be seen; the fellow's drunk.

Bar.
Nay, my Lord, what you please,
Would I durst tell ye though.

[aside.
Lor.
Here wee'll stand; here we can see all;
Hark, I here some coming this way.

Enter Sancho with Quintagona, Rabble.
San.
Oh, yonder's Game for me;
I have been game for others all this while.

Lor.
A pleasant couple;
Look, Bartolo, is not this very Pleasant?

Bar.
Oh, Yes, my Lord, very pleasant.
Aside]
You little think that you are the pleasanter sight of the two

San.
Most renowned, most worthy, and most munificent Lord

Lor.
I thank thee, friend;
But prythee keep on thy way:
Do not address thy self in particular to me.

San.
To you, my Lord?
Why, to whom is respect, and address more proper?
By this my beard, (which I think is a fair one.)

Lor.
Prythee keep it so still with thy Bygotero's,
And about thy business.

San.
Why, I am so, my Lord;
But, as I said before, there is none in Sevil.

Lor.
That will be sooner, or more angry with you,
If you depart not presently.
Dost thou see how the Rabble gather?

San.
What care I, or what need your Lordship care for the Rabble?
By this Beard I swear again,
And that's no small Oath for a man of my profession.

Lor.
Why, what profession art thou of?

San.
A Barber, my Lord.

Lor.
A good trade; Nay, prithee away now.

San.
Heaven forbid I should displease your Lordship,
By this Beard I would not do it for the Indies.

Lor.
Now a plague on thy Beard, and a Pox on thee;
Nay, such a Pox as may plague thy Beard too;
Here's ado with it.
Bartolo? prythee thrust him away.

Bar.
Away, friend, be gone,
This Rogue has found him out.

[aside.
San.
Why, friend, the street is as free for me as you,
By my Beard, thy Beard, and thy Lords Beard,
I do infinitely Honour, Worship and admire.

Lor.
Ye Rogue, swear by my Beard?
Why, I can do that my self; and will:
For if you be not presently gone,
I'll have ye cudgell'd,
By these Honourable Mustachio's I will;
Ha; why, Bartolo; what's this?

[Misses his Beard.
San.
Ha, ha, ha, come, duck, I will not stay to offend your Lordship.

[Exit San. Quin.
Lor.
Ten thousand Devils, and their Dams,
My Beard? Hieco de Puta, my Beard.

Bar.
Is quite gone on the one side, my Lord.

Lor.
Why? thou Dog, thou Mungril,
Wouldst thou let me come abroad,
And not tell me on't?
I have been sport for all comers and goers.

Bar.
Why, my Lord, you mist it not when you
Came abroad; this fellow has bewitch'd you.

Lor.
Have mercy on me, Heaven!
A witch, a witch, Run Bartolo for an Officer,
I'll have him in the Inquisition; a witch.

Bar.
My Lord, he's gone;
Or by this time has transform'd himself
Into some other shape: Oh, he's a cunning Rogue.

Lor.
'Tis too true;
But I, poor miserable I,
What respect shall people pay me now?
No Beard no Brain they'l cry;
A Boy, a meer Tom-boy I shall appear:
My Servants too will make me still their mirth,
Who have been still their Terror.

Bar.
My Lord, I know a remedy for all.

Lor.
What is't, good Bartolo? oh, some comfort, prithee.

Bar.
Why, my Lord, this time of Carnival
It may pass for a youthful frollick,
And after Ash-wednesday,
You may say it was a Penance enjoyn'd you
By your Ghostly Father:
But for Decorum you must cut off
The other side; thus it is very ridiculous.

Lor.
Thou counsell'st well; I would not have my
Servants see me so for a thousand Pistols:
Hast thou no scissers, good Bartolo?

Bar.
No, my Lord, but I have a knife.

Lor.
Come then, cut it off presently.
[Bartolo cuts, and Lor. makes faces.
Oh, oh, oh!

Bar.
So, my Lord, 'tis done.

Lor.
Come, Bartolo, I have seen enough for this day:
A Plague of all Witches! a beard-witch! O Diavolo!

[Exeunt.

SCENA II.

Enter Felices, Alvaredo.
Fel.
You may believe me, Sir,
He was as ignorant as you about her flight.

Alv.
But still he us'd her ill;
And I should bear her injuries as hard
As I should bear my own.

Fel.
Pardon me, Sir, it was no injury,
It was unkind, I must confess.

Alv.
Then I understand not well.

Fel.
Why, Sir, he does owne he did make Love to her,
And that, as far as Modesty could grant,
He had no reason but to think
She did love him;
But finding that his Youth and Love
Had brought him farther then he ought to have gone
Without acquainting you,
He was resolv'd to slip away
About some feign'd business for a time;
And then, with your fair liking,
He would begin his Suit afresh:
But she, ignorant of his Design,
And learning from his man that he was fled,
Thought it a falshood unto her,
And so resolves for S. Teresa's Monastery.
But he being found,
(Happily stopt last night by Thieves)
I hope to see her of another Order.

Alv.
I do believe you, Sir, as you're a Gentleman;
And since your Brother is resovl'd
To do her Reputation right,
I cannot erre, I think.

Fel.
Not possib'y, Sir.

Alv.
To shew you, Sir,
A perfect reconciliation to your Family,
I chuse you for my friend,
And now will tell you all my secrets.
This business (I know not how)
Has brought me to a fair understanding
With my fair and dear Elvira;
And since my Honour now is cleer,
I'le to her strait;
And you shall be a witness to me in't.

Fel.
Why, Sir, had she enjoyn'd
The cleering of your Honour?
Oh, I understand yee. I have a message to her.

[aside.
Alv.
Not enjoyn'd me;
But, as one interessed in me,
Did counsel no neglect of what was fit.

Fel.
Well, Sir, since you have honoured me
With the fair title of your Friend,
Let me advise you; I'le to her strait;
It will appear much better,
For several reasons: Here is the house,
Pray go you home, I'le wait upon you there,
And I doubt not but with such happy News,
As the first Enterview you have
Shall bring a Period to your wishes.
The cleering of this business
Will appear better from him or me.

Alv.
Well, Sir, I will be rul'd;
For though you are wild
I have ever found you
A gallant and an honest man. Adieu.

Fel.
I never, Sir, will give you cause to think the contrary;
If I do, tell my young Mistress,
Whom really I do love.

Alv.
Nay, I'le be your Spokesman there.
[Exit Alv.

[Felices rings. Enter Servant.
Fel.
Pray tell your Lady I needs must speak with her.

Serv.
I shall, Sir.
[Exit Servant.

Alv.
Now if I can but quite unhinge her love,
And fix it on Alvaredo,
All goes well—

Enter Elvira.
Fel.
Madam, I'm come to wait upon you,
But with the Dread
That men approach offended Deities.

Elv.
How can that be?
You never did me wrong.

Fel.
It is a crime to be a kin to him
That ever could offend you,
Though by ignorance.

Elv.
Those that are wise
Pardon the Crimes of folly and mischance;
But I find my self griev'd by neither of these two.

Fel.
Do but consider your own Beauty, Madam,
The certain tyes it hath upon Affection,
The ever yet unconquered god of Love,
That dips his scorching Arrows in your eyes,
And hardens so their Points,
No Armour, though of strictest honesty,
Is proof against their force:
All these are Arguments to move your mercy
To the forgiveness of a Crime
I now am come to beg a Pardon for.

Elv.
Pray Sir, (without the Ornaments you now do use,
In rallying of a Lady never wrong'd you)
Tell me your Business; for as yet
I know not what you aim at.

Fel.
Nor is it fit
I should express my self in plainer terms:
But tell me;
If you had bargain'd for, nay, had bought a thing before me,
Would you not take it ill
I should out-bid you in your price,
And by my Liberality corrupt the Merchant?

Elv.
Yes, I should, Sir; neither were it just or honourable.

Fel.
This is my Brothers Case,
Who dares not live,
Nor think himself worthy the name of Man
Till you have pardon'd.
Remember, Madam, as I told you,
How much your Beauty can out-bid
All other Women.

Elv.
Oh, I understand you,
And thank you, Sir, that you have spar'd my blushes:
But tell me, Sir, is not the Lady's name Beatrice,
That lay's her claim to your brother?

Fel.
Madam, it is; And this Fernando bad me tell ye more,
He can requite your pardon with a Jewel
Of fairest and of Richest price,
Her brother.—

Elvr
Oh, Sir, I thank him,
My better reason has instructed me,
(I'll make an End't that which you were saying)
Her brother is a man, too good, of too much honor,
Nay, too much love to be refused by me.

Fel.
And you too much of goodness and of merit
Not to be honour'd as a Saint,
By all that know you, and do hear you speak,
I'll be gone, I shall talk my self in time.

[aside.
Elv.
Well, Sir, I can bear your Rallery.

Fel.
I'm serious,
Why, Madam?

Elv.
Nay, Sir, if you are so,
Pray bring Signior Alvaredo hither,
Your brother too may come, and his fair Lady.

Fel.
Yes, Madam, I shall.

Elv.
Your servant, Sir,
I shall expect your Promise.
[Exit Elv.

Fel.
It's we'll your gone,
I had spoyl'd all else; my Pate
Was hammering devices for my own advantage,
Carnival do ye call it,
I could Masquerade it bravely with her.

[Exit.
Enter Quintagona, and Sancho.
Quin.
Nay, Prythee Sancho consider,
I never dare go home again;
[Show's Jewels.]
Is not this more wealth then ever thou couldst
Hope for; 'tis the porloyning of thirty years
Service, two thousand crowns will not buy
Them, why sure I'm not so old; nor
Yet so unhandsome, but that an
Honester man would bless his fortune for such a match.

San.
Nay, now ye have spoil'd all,
If you had not spoke that word
I would have taken pity on you,

Quin.
Pity on me? thou Rascal,
Thou Son of many Fathers I'll, have thee to know
(But that I took thee for a pleasant
And an honest dealing fellow)
I should scorn thee; S'fish in my old Mistriss time
I might had a Knight of Calatrava,
Nay, within this twenty years, as much has been offered me
Twice; two brave Knights,
Pity on me; foh, Garlick—

San.
May be so: ta ran, ta ran tan.

[Sings and Dances up and down carelesly.
Quin.
Well, Sancho, well;
Have I for this trusted thee with my reputation,
Gone all about the town with thee;
Nay, Did not leave thee, nor hide my self
When the Boys had snatch'd away my Vizard,
Oh, Sancho, Sancho, thou art false as other men,
And I a most unhappy Virgin.

[weeps
San.
Boutoua, Diavolo, she has moisture in her,
This is the first Lady ever wept for Sancho,
Have comfort my dearest duckling,
I will be thine by day and night,
And get a whole litter of Sancho's on thee?

Quin.
Oh, Sancho, Sancho, Abuse not good Nature,
I am tender, be not thou Harsh.

San.
Yes, as tender as whit-leather,
[aside.
Well, come spit in thy hand and Clap here,
Is't a match, speak.

Quin.
A match; and all these are thine.

San.
Come, we'll Dance to our Wedding,
[Enter two Fidlers
Strike up Rogues, tan ta, ta rin ta, ta ta ra.

[They Dance up and down.
Enter Felices.
Fel.
Oh, Brave Rogue,
Where have you been all this while?

San.
Nay, pray, Sir, forbear,
A curse will light on him
That parts man and wife.

Fel.
Quintagona thy wife?
Now send thee joy thou pretty maid.

Quin.
And thee a halter, thou sneering fellow.

San.
Oh, fie sweet-heart, he is my Master.

Quin.
What then; he's none of mine,
There's ne'r a man in Sevil shall be my Master.

San.
I have a fine time on't then.

[aside.
Fel.
Sancho, come hither, a word,
[Whispers.
Nay, take her with you, make haste
I shall be there before thee
Boy, Hony-Comb.

[Exeunt severally.
Enter Antonio in Masquerade, And Fidlers in Masquerade like Gentlemen.
Ant.
Here, friends, this is the house,
The Accident hapned last night,
You know the tune I made the Song to

Gen.
I, I, Come, shall we begin.

To the Tune of the Broom, the bonny Broom.
Chorus still of Musick.

Enter Bartolo.
Bar.
Fie, fie, Gentlemen, remove your mirth,
My Lord is very ill, nay, pray Gentlemen.

Ant.
Ill, how come he ill prithee?

Bar.
Why, a grief he has lately conceiv'd,
For his sins, I think.

Ant.
Why think'st thou so, man?

Bar.
Oh, Sir, he has shav'd himself!
And vows to wear Sackcloth.

Ant.
What a dam'd hypocrite!
Must Religion be the Cloak of the Jest
Was put upon him?
[aside.
Play, Gentlemen, play,

[They play again.
Lor.
at the window with a Gun.
You Flemings, Boarachio's
You Pantalons de mi culo,
Dogs, Rogues, either from my
House, or I'll send some of ye to the
Devil before your time.

Ant.
Fie, my Lord, is this your Conscience?

Lor.
Hang ye, Rogues,
Bartolo, Come up, here, and shoot this off,
I dare not for, fear it should recoil,
Slaves, he'll pepper ye.

Ant.
Sirrah, I'll tickle ye with this, are ye
Budging, ye Cackafuego.

Bar.
Not I, Sir, by this Beard.

Lor.
Oh, Hieco de puta, Et tu Brute,
Nay, then, I will be sick indeed.

[Exit.
Ant.
I, do, and Die,
The Devil a tear will be shed for thee,
Bartolo, go and get Legacies for all thy friends,
Of Lamprey Pies, and Sturgeon.

Bart.
Ha, these know him, Adieu, Signiors.
[Exit Bar.

Ant.
Come Gentlemen, Nay, here we'll give
A lesson or two, 'tis the house of Signior Alvaredo;
His two sisters are fair Ladies.

[They play a good Tune.
Enter Felices.
Fel.
Ha, Musick here! 'tis either meant to my brothers
Wife, or to my young Mistriss,
Neither pleases me; who are ye? speak.

[draws.
Ant.
What's that to thee, thou man of Metal?

Fel.
That ye shall see stay a little.

[Offers to go out.
Ant.
Felices, Why, hark ye, man?
What freak's this?

Fel.
Is't you, a plague, I was going to fetch a
Servant, or two, to entertain your worship's;
Who are those with ye?

Ant.
Friends, friends, O my worthy friends!
Sirra, I have been with him,
And teas'd him out of his Wits,
Come, Come, we'll thither again; prithee
Walk this night with us.

Fel.
Faith, I cannot, I have business,
Oh, you are wellcome, hark ye!

[Enter Alv.
Alv.
Oh, my best Angel! can this be?

Fel.
Go trie, I'll be there with you strait,
And bring all the Company with me,
Will you not give me leave to call my
Young Mistress?

Alv.
Any thing, what you please.
Adieu, I cannot stay.
[Exit Alv.

Fel.
Gentlemen, I'm sorry I cannot bear ye
Company, I can assure ye, my heart
Earns to leave ye, but business,
A thing you know I much delight in,
Calls me from you.

Ant.
Troth, me-thinks of late thou hast a busie
Countenance; Come, what Wench
Are you to lead into a fools paradise?
Some such thing I'm sure it must
Be, the Devil could never fix any
Other business upon thee.

Fel.
Away, away, you are wilde fellow's, I am
Not fit for your Company; But if
You will presently break all Lorenzo's
Window's, or so, I am for ye, but I
Cannot stay, faith I cannot, night blades
Hark ye, you'll do well to carry your
Musick to your Sisters house, Antonio,
There may be use of ye.

Ant.
How, soe, prithee, what's the matter?

Fel.
Nay, no questions, Come if you will;
If you won't, chuse, bonus Nochios.
[Exit Felices.

Ant.
Come, we will go.

[Exeunt Omnes.

SCENA III.

Enter Alvaredo, Elvira.
Elv.
Nay, Sir, I find, in all appearance,
You have much reason to be satisfi'd,
But yet there remain some scruples
That I must cleer my self in.

Alv.
I hope I am not quite so Dull,
If they concern my Honour,
But I should be as scrupulous
As do's befit a Gentleman to be; and Madam—

Elv.
Nay, Signior, you mistake me now,
I have been, and am your Sisters friend;
I only must ask some questions.

Alv.
Madam, what you please;
They will all be here presently.

[Enter Servant.
Serv.
Madam, here is Musick and Masquers
Come, one I believe is Signior Antonio.

Elv.
Bid them enter.

[Exit Servant.
Alv.
Madam, will yee once more repeat,
This hand and heart is mine?

[Enter Anto. &c.
Elv.
I do. Oh you are welcome, Gentlemen.

Serv.
Madam, here is more Company.

Elv.
Let them come in. Come Brother, you may
Unmask, you are known;
Besides, you must be witness of a thing
That does concern me highly.

Anto.
What is't pray, Madam?

Elv.
By and by you shall see.

[Enter Ferdinando, Beatrice, Felices, Miranda, Sancho, Quintagona, and Servants.
Elv.
Madam, you are welcome hither;
I must beg the favour to speak with this
Gentleman in private; you will not sure
Be jealous, Madam.

Bea.
Oh Madam, you wrong your Servant.

[Elv. Ferdi. aside.
Elv.
Now, Sir, what good excuse
Have you fram'd for your disloyalty?

Fer.
Such as must crave your mercy,
Not justifie my Crime.

Elv.
But I must claim your Promise,
That nothing can dispense you from:
Speak, Sir, ought not I to have the fair disposal of yee?

Fer.
Here, Madam, dispose my life:
[draws a Dagger.
I do submit unto your Censure.

Elv.
No, Sir, your Person I will dispose of: Come, nay, come,
You have spar'd my blushes,
And I will now indulge your shame.
Here, Madam, let me close your hands:
And pray, Sir, do as much for me here.

Fer.
With all my Soul:
And may the Heavens continue still
Your Love and Beauty.

Alv.
Thanks, friend, I hope you still were so,
And I mistaken in my Doubts.

Fer.
I am, and ever will be so,
Or let your Sister hate me,
And that's the worst of Curses.

Fel.
Madam, I sent you Musick:
One Dance is both proper for the time,
And indeed looks something like the latter
End of a Play, which should go off merrily:
Only one thing is wanting, I should be married
Too here; but plague on't, she's too young.

Mir.
And you too mad.

Fel.
Well, by that time you are fit for me
I shall be fit for you; three or four years
Will strike deep towards gravity:
In the mean time, here's my hand, If I like yee then
As well as I like you now, thou shalt have me
Round and all sound.

Mir.
'Tis well if I have.
Nay, prithee sweet Quintagona blush not,
We know that thou art married,
Meerly stole away by this young Gallant,
Signior Sancho.

Fel.
Come, come, strike up.

The Dance.
Fel.
Ladies, how like you this?
Gentlemen, do you all speak; are ye pleas'd?
'Tis new; for I dare boldly say,
'Tis the first Carnival y'ere saw in Play.