 | The Empress of Morocco |  |
1
[Scene One]
SCENE OPENS and discovers the Court at HOT-COCKLES.Muly Labas the Corn-cutter being taken, and about to lay down his Head in Morena the Apple-womans Lap.
Muly La.
Oh Morena I am took napping
And must lay my head thy blew Lap in,
And my poor fist upon my Rump lay
That ev'ry one of these there thump may.
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Is my Lap then such ill abiding
That you should need make all this chiding?
Enter Hamet Alhaz the Country Vicar, and speaks to Muly Labas the Corn-cutter.
Ham. Al.
Great Sir, your Hector Hamet's coming
From Car-men and stout Butchers thrumming
At the Bear-garden, he is crossing
From Bank-side on billows tossing:
River bright does change complexion
With his tatter'd Flags reflexion:
Boat does move as man does pull her,
In greater State you ne're saw Sculler:
Drum does rattle and Boys do bellow
Hamet up, for a pretty Fellow.
He all the way Tobacco puffing,
And in the smoak your praises huffing;
As School Boys use with little trouble
From Walnut-shell to blow up bubble;
Or as Nurse pleases Child in Cradle
With the dim smoak of an old Ladle.
Muly Lab.
This matter that you are relating
Does not merit half this prating.
Lays his Head down again in Morena's Lap.
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Come about the business roundly
And be sure you strike him soundly.
As Crimalhaz the Strong-water-man strikes with his Slipper, Muly Hamet the Dray-man Enters.
Morena.
Who was that?
He rises up and looks about him.
Muly Lab.
It was some Brangler
That struck with Slipper, like a Wrangler:
By Jove if I knew who's the author
I in his porridg wou'd pour Water.
Ham. Alhaz.
Labas though you be in such dudgeon
Yet you must swallow me this Gudgeon.
These are new Shoes, as I was saying
I came just now from Cudgel playing
Where from all the mad rout I won them,
So you may take them there, and don them.
Throws the Shoes.
Q. Moth.
Think'st thou with Shoes to beg thy pardon,
Those Shoes with which thou layd'st so hard on?
Ham. Alhaz.
—Who I?
Q. Moth.
—I thou.
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—O errant Lyer!
Q. Moth.
Stand all away, let me come nigher
That I may scratch his copper Nose off.
Ham. Alhaz.
Peace Beldame, or I'le shake your Shoes off.
Muly Lab.
Good Mother peace, you make a squabble
In very truth abominable,
And with your bawling put the Youth out,
So I shall never find the truth out.
Ham. Alhaz.
Sir I came in but very newly,
Old Mother Bunch does not say truly.
Muly Lab.
Peace sawse-box, know it is Queen Mother.
Ham. Alhaz.
'Twas Crimalhaz made all this pother.
Crimalhaz.
It was not I, no in good sooth Sir.
Morena.
He tells you not one word of truth Sir;
When Bum was turn'd up I did watch it;
And I do say, 'twas Crimalhatchet.
Q. Moth.
But you may spare him tho' Morena
You know well enough what I mean a.
Morena.
Fye, Fye, Fustilugs, be not yellow
For he is but a dungy Fellow.
Q. Moth.
Marry come up, my durty Cozen,
He may have such as you by th'Dozen,
And therefore make not such a bustle
For you are but an errant pussle.
Moren.
Mother Shipton been't so testy,
You may perhaps find me as resty;
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You may all be asham'd to name it.
Q. Moth.
Eunuch tell truth, for you stood by it;
Since they so shamefully deny it.
Eunuch.
Tut all this scolding is but Non-sence,
'Twas Crimalhaz upon my conscience.
Q. Moth.
Out from my sight thou base mishapen
Ugly Dastard, Craven, Capon.
Abdra.
How Crimalhaz! upon my credit
'Twas Muly Hamet there that did it.
Crimalhaz.
Now, I will haste me to our Village
And there look after Sheep and Tillage.
(aside)
Crimalhaz the Strong-water-man steals off.
Muly Lab.
Is Crimalhaz so good at sneaking
To steal away thus without speaking?
Turns to Muly Hamet the Dray-man.
Hamet since thou hast caus'd this brabble
Converse hereafter with the rabble:
From Court and City I thee banish
Presto be gone, why dost not vanish?
Muly Ham.
In troth Sir I am verry sorry
So soon to quit your territory;
Tho' in it I must make no figure,
With all my heart I wish it bigger.
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—How bigger!
Muly Ham.
—Yes indeed and longer.
Muly Lab.
I find my Choler waxing stronger.
Mariam.
Labas were you ten times my Brother,
My love I can no longer smother;
Your anger now grows too unruly,
For my part I'le go with my Muly.
Muly Lab.
Mariamne I don't think it proper
That you so soon shou'd turn Hedg-hopper;
But since you are in such a taking,
As you do brew you may be baking.
[Exeunt Muly Ham. and Mariamne.
Q. Moth.
Oh Son you have now quite undone us
If Crimalhaz does thus outrun us,
For we the Parson must be feasting
And with him there will be no jesting,
He'll be so cross, who can abide him
If we a Sheeps-head don't provide him?
He's such an errant Mutton-monger:
Wherefore let us stay here no longer,
But after Crimalhaz be creeping:
Who has got all the Sheep in's keeping:
And when we are all there together,
Be sure with him you make fair weather.
Muly Lab.
But Laula you who are his doxie
Had best bespeak him by your proxie;
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If I go after him a begging.
Q. Moth.
No Labas, there you are mistaken,
We shall have Coleworts, Beans and Bacon,
Fat Mutton boil'd and Chesnuts roasted,
Parcht Pease, Potatoes, and Cheese toasted:
And fully to end all the quarrel,
Of humming Ale a lusty barrel.
Muly Lab.
If this be more than meerly Cogging,
Let's talk no more but straight be jogging.
Q. Moth.
'Tis very true, you need not doubt it.
Muly Lab.
Then Come away, let's go about it.
Exeunt omnes.
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