University of Virginia Library

Enter Aquilina and her Maid.
Aquil.

Tell him I am gone to bed: Tell him I am not at
home; tell him I've better Company with me, or
anything; tell him in short I will not see him, the eternal troublesome
vexatious Fool: He's worse Company than an ignorant
Physitian—I'l not be disturb'd at these unseasonable hours.

Maid.

But, Madam! He's here already, just enter'd the doors.

Aquil.

Turn him out agen, you unnecessary, useless, giddy-brain'd
Asse! if he will not begone, set the house a fire and
burn us both: I had rather meet a Toad in my dish than that
old hideous Animal in my Chamber to Night.

[Enter Antonio.
Anto.

Nacky, Nacky, Nacky—how dost do Nacky? Hurry
durry. I am come little Nacky; past eleven a Clock, a late
hour; time in all Conscience to go to bed Nacky—Nacky did
I say? Ay Nacky; Aquilina, lina, lina, quilina, quilina, quilina,
Aquilina, Naquilina, Naquilina, Acky, Acky, Nacky, Nacky, Queen
Nacky—come let's to bed—you Fubbs, you Pugg you—you
little Puss—Purree Tuzzey—I am a Senator.

Aquil.

You are Fool, I am sure.

Anto.

May be so too sweet-heart. Never the worse Senator
for all that. Come Nacky, Nacky, lets have a Game at Rump, Nacky.

Aquil.

You would do well Signior to be troublesome here
no longer, but leave me to my self, be sober and go home, Sir.

Anto.

Home Madona!

Aquil.

Ay home, Sir, Who am I?

Anto.

Madona, as I take it you are my—you are—thou
art my little Nicky Nacky—that's all!

Aquil.

I find you are resolv'd to be troublesome, and so to
make short of the matter in few words, I hate you, detest
you, loath you, I am weary of you, sick of you—hang you,
you are an Old, silly, Impertinent, impotent, sollicitous
Coxcomb, Crazy in your head, and lazy in your Body, love to be
medling with every thing, and if you had not Money, you
are good for nothing.

Anto.

Good for nothing! Hurry durry, I'l try that presently.
Sixty one years Old, and good for nothing; that's
brave. [To the Maid.]
Come come come Mistress fiddle-faddle,
turn you out for a season; go turn out I say, it is our will and

pleasure to be private some moments—out, out when you are
bid too— [Puts her out and locks the door.]
Good for nothing you say.

Aquil.

Why what are you good for?

Anto.

In the first place, Madam, I am Old, and consequently
very wise, very wise, Madona, d'e mark that? in the second
place take notice, if you please, that I am a Senator, and when
I think sit can make Speeches Madona. Hurry durry, I can
make a Speech in the Senate-house now and then—wou'd
make your hair stand an end, Madona.

Aquil.

What care I for your Speeches in the Senate-house,
if you wou'd be silent here, I should thank you.

Anto.

Why, I can make Speeches to thee too, my lovely
Madona; for Example—my cruel fair one,
[Takes out a Purse of Gold, and at every pawse shakes it.
Since it is my Fate, that you should with your Servant angry
prove; tho late at Night—I hope 'tis not too late with this to
gain reception for my Love—there's for thee my little Nicky
Nacky—take it, here take it—I say take it, or I'l throw it
at your head—how now, rebel!

Aquil.

Truly, my Illustrious Senator, I must confess your
Honour is at present most profoundly eloquent indeed.

Anto.

Very well: Come, now let's sit down and think upon't
a little—come sit I say—sit down by me a little my Nicky
Nacky, hah— [Sits down]
Hurry durry—good for nothing—

Aquil.

No Sir, if you please I can know my distance and stand.

Anto.

Stand: How? Nacky, up and I down! Nay then let
me exclaim with the Poet.

Shew me a Case more pitiful who can,
A standing Woman, and a falling Man.
Hurry durry—not sit down—see this ye Gods—
You won't sit down?

Aquil.
No Sir.

Anto.

Then look you now, suppose me a Bull, a Basan-Bull,
the Bull of Bulls, or any Bull. Thus up I get and with my brows
thus bent—I broo, I say I broo, I broo, I broo. You won't sit
down will you?—I broo—

[Bellows like a Bull, and drives her about.
Aquil.

Well, Sir, I must endure this. Now your
[She sits down.
honour has been a Bull, pray what Beast will your
Worship please to be next?

Anto.

Now I'l be a Senator agen, and thy Lover little
Nicky Nacky! [He sits by her.]
Ah toad, toad, toad, toad! spit

in my Face a little, Nacky—spit in my Face prithee, spit in my
Face, never so little: spit but a little bit—spit, spit, spit, spit,
when you are bid I say; do, prithee spit—now, now, now,
spit: what you won't spit, will you? Then I'l be a Dog.

Aquil.

A Dog my Lord?

Anto.

Ay a Dog—and I'l give thee this to'ther purse to
let me be a Dog—and to use me like a Dog a little. Hurry
durry—I will—here 'tis.—

[Gives the Purse.
Aquil.

Well, with all my heart. But let me beseech your
Dogship to play your trick's over as fast as you can, that you
may come to stinking the sooner, and be turn'd out of dores
as you deserve.

Anto.

Ay, ay—no matter for that—that
[He gets under the Table.
shan't move me—Now, bough waugh waugh, bough
waugh—

[Barks like a Dog.
Aquil.

Hold, hold, hold Sir, I beseech you: what is't you
do? If Curs bire, they must be kickt, Sir. Do you see, kickt thus.

Anto.

Ay with all my heart: do kick, kick on, now I am
under the Table, kick agen—kick harder—harder yet, bough
waugh waugh, waugh, bough—'odd, I'le have a snap at thy
shins—bough waugh wough, waugh, bough—'odd she
kicks bravely.—

Aquil.

Nay then I'l go another way to work with you: and
I think here's an Instrument fit for the purpose.
[Fetches a Whip and Bell.
What bite your Mistress, sirrah! out, out of dores, you Dog,
to kennel and behang'd—bite your Mistress by the Legs, you
rogue.—

[She Whips him.
Anto.

Nay prithee Nacky, now thou art too loving: Hurry
durry, 'odd I'l be a Dog no longer.

Aquil.

Nay none of your fawning and grinning: But be gone,
or here's the discipline: What bite your Mistress by the Legs you
mungril? out of dores—hout hout, to kennel sirra! go.

Anto.

This is very barbarous usage: Nacky very barbarous:
look you, I will not go—I will not stir from the dore, that I
resolve—hurry durry, what shut me out?

[She whips him out.
Aquil.

Ay, and if you come here any more to night I'll have
my Foot-men lug you, you Curr: What bite your poor Mistress
Nacky, sirrah!

Enter Maid.
Maid.

Heav'ns Madam! Whats the matter?

[He howls at the dore like a Dog.
Aquil.

Call my Foot-men hither presently.

Enter two Foot-men.
Maid.

They are here already Madam, the house is all alarm'd
with a strange noise, that no body knows what to make of.

Aquil.

Go all of you and turn that troublesome Beast in the
next room out of my house—If I ever see him within these
walls again, without my leave for his Admittance, you sneaking
Rogues—I'l have you poison'd all, poison'd, like Rats: every
Corner of the house shall stink of one of you: Go, and learn
hereafter to know my pleasure. So now for my Pierre:

Thus when Godlike Lover was displeas'd;
We Sacrifice our Fool and he's appeas'd.

[Exeunt.