 | The Merry Wiues of Windsor |  |
Actus Secundus.
Scœna Prima.
Enter Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, Master Page, Master Ford, Pistoll, Nim, Quickly, Host, Shallow.Mist. Page.
What, haue scap'd Loue-letters in the
holly-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect
for them? let me see?
Aske me no reason why I loue you, for though Loue vse Reason
for his precisian, hee admits him not for his Counsailour:
you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's simpathie:
you are merry, so am I: ha, ha, then there's more simpathie:
you loue sacke, and so do I: would you desire better simpathie?
Let it suffice thee (Mistris Page) at the least if the Loue of
Souldier can suffice, that I loue thee: I will not say pitty mee,
'tis not a Souldier-like phrase; but I say, loue me:
Or any kinde of light, with all his might,
For thee to fight.
Iohn Falstaffe.
What a Herod of Iurie is this? O wicked, wicked world:One that is well-nye worne to peeces with age
To show himselfe a yong Gallant? What an vnwaied
Behauiour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt (with
The Deuills name) out of my conuersation, that he dares
In this manner assay me? why, hee hath not beene thrice
In my Company: what should I say to him? I was then
Frugall of my mirth: (heauen forgiue mee:) why Ile
Exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting downe
of men: how shall I be reueng'd on him? for reueng'd I
will be? as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
Mis Ford.
Mistris Page, trust me, I was going to your
house.
Mis. Page.
And trust me, I was comming to you: you
looke very ill.
Mis. Ford.
Nay, Ile nere beleeee that; I haue to shew
to the contrary.
Mis. Page.
'Faith but you doe in my minde.
Mis. Ford.
Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew
you to the contrary: O Mistris Page, giue mee some
counsaile.
Mis. Page.
What's the matter, woman?
Mi. Ford.
O woman: if it were not for one trifling respect,
I could come to such honour.
Mi. Page.
Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour:
what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?
Mi. Ford.
If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall
moment, or so: I could be knighted.
Mi. Page.
What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these
Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the article
of thy Gentry.
Mi. Ford.
Wee burne day-light: heere, read, read:
perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the
worse of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make difference
of mens liking: and yet hee would not sweare:
reproofe to al vncomelinesse, that I would haue
sworne his disposition would haue gone to the truth of
his words: but they doe no more adhere and keep place
together, then the hundred Psalms to the tune of Green-sleeues:
What tempest (I troa) threw this Whale, (with
so many Tuns of oyle in his belly) a'shoare at Windsor?
How shall I bee reuenged on him? I thinke the best way
were, to entertaine him with hope, till the wicked fire
of lust haue melted him in his owne greace: Did you euer
heare the like?
Mis. Page.
Letter for letter; but that the name of
Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in this mystery
of ill opinions, heere's the twyn-brother of thy Letter:
but let thine inherit first, for I protest mine neuer
shall: I warrant he hath a thousand of these Letters, writ
with blancke-space for different names (sure more): and
these are of the second edition: hee will print them out
of doubt: for he cares not what hee puts into the presse,
when he would put vs two: I had rather be a Giantesse,
and lye vnder Mount Pelion: Well; I will find you twentie
lasciuious Turtles ere one chaste man.
Mis. Ford.
Why this is the very same: the very hand:
the very words: what doth he thinke of vs?
Mis. Page.
Nay I know not: it makes me almost readie
to wrangle with mine owne honesty: Ile entertaine
my selfe like one that I am not acquainted withall: for
sure vnlesse hee know some straine in mee, that I know
not my selfe, hee would neuer haue boorded me in this
furie.
Mi. Ford.
Boording, call you it? Ile bee sure to keepe
him aboue decke.
Mi. Page.
So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches,
Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd on him: let's
appoint him a meeting: giue him a show of comfort in
his Suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till hee
hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter.
Mi. Ford.
Nay, I wil consent to act any villany against
him, that may not sully the charinesse of our honesty: oh
that my husband saw this Letter: it would giue eternall
food to his iealousie.
Mis. Page.
Why look where he comes; and my good
man too: hee's as farre from iealousie, as I am from giuing
him cause, and that (I hope) is an vnmeasurable distance.
Mis. Ford.
You are the happier woman.
Mis. Page.
Let's consult together against this greasie
Knight: Come hither.
Ford.
Well: I hope, it be not so.
Pist.
Hope is a curtall-dog in some affaires:
Sir Iohn affects thy wife.
Ford.
Why sir, my wife is not young.
Pist.
He wooes both high and low, both rich & poor,
both yong and old, one with another (Ford) he loues the
Gally-mawfry (Ford) perpend.
Ford.
Loue my wife?
Pist.
With liuer, burning hot: preuent:
Or goe thou like Sir Acteon he, with
Ring-wood at thy heeles: O, odious is the name.
Ford.
What name Sir?
Pist.
The horne I say: Farewell:
Take heed, haue open eye, for theeues doe foot by night.
Take heed, ere sommer comes, or Cuckoo-birds do sing.
Away sir Corporall Nim:
Beleeue it (Page) he speakes sence.
Ford.
I will be patient: I will find out this.
Nim.
And this is true: I like not the humor of lying:
hee hath wronged mee in some humors: I should haue
borne the humour'd Letter to her: but I haue a sword:
and it shall bite vpon my necessitie: he loues your wife;
There's the short and the long: My name is Corporall
Nim: I speak, and I auouch; 'tis true: my name is Nim:
and Falstaffe loues your wife: adieu, I loue not the humour
of bread and cheese: adieu.
Page.
The humour of it (quoth'a?) heere's a fellow
frights English out of his wits.
Ford.
I will seeke out Falstaffe.
Page.
I neuer heard such a drawling-affecting rogue.
Ford.
If I doe finde it: well.
Page.
I will not beleeue such a Cataian, though the
Priest o'th'Towne commended him for a true man.
Ford.
'Twas a good sensible fellow: well.
Page.
How now Meg?
Mist. Page.
Whether goe you (George?) harke you.
Mis Ford.
How now (sweet Frank) why art thou melancholy?
Ford.
I melancholy? I am not melancholy:
Get you home: goe.
Mis. Ford.
Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy head,
Now: will you goe, Mistris Page?
Mis. Page.
Haue with you: you'll come to dinner
George? Looke who comes yonder: shee shall bee our
Messenger to this paltrie Knight.
Mis. Ford.
Trust me, I thought on her: shee'll fit it.
Mis. Page.
You are come to see my daughter Anne?
Qui.
I forsooth: and I pray how do's good Mistresse
Anne?
Mis Page.
Go in with vs and see: we haue an houres
talke with you.
Page.
How now Master Ford?
For.
You heard what this knaue told me, did you not?
Page.
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
Ford.
Doe you thinke there is truth in them?
Pag.
Hang 'em slaues: I doe not thinke the Knight
would offer it: But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wiues, are a yoake of his discarded men: very
rogues, now they be out of seruice.
Ford.
Were they his men?
Page.
Marry were they.
Ford.
I like it neuer the better for that,
Do's he lye at the Garter?
Page.
I marry do's he: if hee should intend this voyage
toward my wife, I would turne her loose to him;
and what hee gets more of her, then sharpe words, let it
lye on my head.
Ford.
I doe not misdoubt my wife: but I would bee
loath to turne them together: a man may be too confident:
I would haue nothing lye on my head: I cannot
be thus satisfied.
Page.
Looke where my ranting-Host of the Garter
comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony in his
purse, when hee lookes so merrily: How now mine
Host?
Host.
How now Bully-Rooke: thou'rt a Gentleman
Caueleiro Iustice, I say.
Shal.
I follow, (mine Host) I follow: Good-euen,
and twenty (good Master Page.) Master Page, wil you go
with vs? we haue sport in hand.
Host.
Tell him Caueleiro-Iustice: tell him Bully-Rooke.
Shall.
Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between Sir
Hugh the Welch Priest, and Caius the French Doctor.
Good mine Host o'th'Garter: a word with you.
Host.
What saist thou, my Bully-Rooke?
Shal.
Will you goe with vs to behold it? My merry
Host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and (I
thinke) hath appointed them contrary places: for (beleeue
mee) I heare the Parson is no Iester: harke, I will
tell you what our sport shall be.
Host.
Hast thou no suit against my Knight? my guest-Caualeire?
Shal.
None, I protest: but Ile giue you a pottle of
burn'd sacke, to giue me recourse to him, and tell him
my name is Broome: onely for a iest.
Host.
My hand, (Bully:) thou shalt haue egresse and
regresse, (said I well?) and thy name shall be Broome. It
is a merry Knight: will you goe An-heires?
Shal.
Haue with you mine Host.
Page.
I haue heard the French-man hath good skill
in his Rapier.
Shal.
Tut sir: I could haue told you more: In these
times you stand on distance: your Passes, Stoccado's, and
I know not what: 'tis the heart (Master Page) 'tis heere,
'tis heere: I haue seene the time with my long-sword, I
would haue made you fowre tall fellowes skippe like
Rattes.
Host.
Heere boyes, heere, heere: shall we wag?
Page.
Haue with you: I had rather heare them scold,
then fight.
Ford.
Though Page be a secure foole, and stands so
firmely on his wiues frailty; yet, I cannot put-off my opinion
so easily: she was in his company at Pages house:
and what they made there, I know not. Well, I wil looke
further into't, and I haue a disguise, to sound Falstaffe; if
I finde her honest, I loose not my labor: if she be otherwise,
'tis labour well bestowed.
Exeunt.
Scœna Secunda.
Enter Falstaffe, Pistoll, Robin, Quickly, Bardolffe, Ford.Fal.
I will not lend thee a penny.
Pist.
Why then the world's mine Oyster, which I,
with sword will open.
Fal.
Not a penny: I haue beene content (Sir,) you
should lay my countenance to pawne: I haue grated vpon
my good friends for three Repreeues for you, and
your Coach-fellow Nim; or else you had look'd through
the grate, like a Geminy of Baboones: I am damn'd in
hell, for swearing to Gentlemen my friends, you were
good Souldiers, and tall-fellowes. And when Mistresse
Briget lost the handle of her Fan, I took't vpon mine honour
thou hadst it not.
Pis.
Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteene
pence?
Fal.
Reason, you roague, reason: thinkst thou Ile endanger
my soule, gratis? at a word, hang no more about
mee, I am no gibbet for you: goe, a short knife, and a
throng, to your Mannor of Pickt-hatch: goe, you'll not
beare a Letter for mee you roague? you stand vpon your
honor: why, (thou vnconfinable basenesse) it is as much
as I can doe to keepe the termes of my hononor precise:
I, I, I my selfe sometimes; loauing the feare of heauen on
the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am
faine to shuffle: to hedge, and to lurch, and yet, you
Rogue, will en-sconce your raggs; your Cat-a-Mountaine-lookes,
your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating-oathes,
vnder the shelter of your honor? you
will not doe it? you?
Pist.
I doe relent: what would thou more of man?
Robin.
Sir, here's a woman would speake with you.
Fal.
Let her approach.
Qui.
Giue your worship good morrow.
Fal.
Good-morrow, good-wife.
Qui.
Not so and't please your worship.
Fal.
Good maid then.
Qui.
Ile be sworne,
As my mother was the first houre I was borne.
Fal.
I doe beleeue the swearer; what with me?
Qui.
Shall I vouch-safe your worship a word, or
two?
Fal.
Two thousand (faire woman) and ile vouchsafe
thee the hearing.
Qui.
There is one Mistresse Ford, (Sir) I pray come a
little neerer this waies: I my selfe dwell with M. Doctor
Caius:
Fal.
Well, on; Mistresse Ford, you say.
Qui.
Your worship saies very true: I pray your worship
come a little neere this waies.
Fal.
I warrant thee, no-bodie heares: mine owne
people, mine owne people.
Qui.
Are they so? heauen-blesse them, and make
them his Seruants.
Fal.
Well; Mistresse Ford, what of her?
Qui.
Why, Sir; shee's a good-creature; Lord, Lord,
your Worship's a wanton: well: heauen forgiue you,
and all of vs, I pray—.
Fal.
Mistresse Ford: come, Mistresse Ford.
Qui.
Marry this is the short, and the long of it: you
haue brought her into such a Canaries, as 'tis wonderfull:
the best Courtier of them all (when the Court lay
at Windsor) could neuer haue brought her to such a Canarie:
yet there has beene Knights, and Lords, and Gentlemen,
with their Coaches; I warrant you Coach after
Coach, letter after letter, gift after gift, smelling so sweetly;
all Muske, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silke
and golde, and in such alligant termes, and in such wine
and suger of the best, and the fairest, that would haue
wonne any womans heart: and I warrant you, they could
neuer get an eye-winke of her: I had my selfe twentie
Angels giuen me this morning, but I defie all Angels (in
any such sort, as they say) but in the way of honesty: and
I warrant you, they could neuer get her so much as sippe
on a cup with the prowdest of them all, and yet there has
beene Earles: nay, (which is more) Pentioners, but I
warrant you all is one with her.
Fal.
But what saies shee to mee? be briefe my good
shee-Mercurie.
Qui.
Marry, she hath receiu'd your Letter: for the
which she thankes you a thousand times; and she giues
you to notifie, that her husband will be absence from his
house, betweene ten and eleuen.
Fal.
Ten, and eleuen.
Qui.
I, forsooth: and then you may come and see the
picture (she sayes) that you wot of: Master Ford her husband
will be from home: alas, the sweet woman leades
an ill life with him: hee's a very iealousie-man; she leads
a very frampold life with him, (good hart.)
Fal.
Ten, and eleuen.
Qui.
Why, you say well: But I haue another messenger
to your worship: Mistresse Page hath her heartie
commendations to you to: and let mee tell you in your
eare, shee's as fartuous a ciuill modest wife, and one (I
tell you) that will not misse you morning nor euening
prayer, as any is in Windsor, who ere bee the other: and
shee bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldome
from home, but she hopes there will come a time.
I neuer knew a woman so doate vpon a man; surely I
thinke you haue charmes, la: yes in truth.
Fal.
Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my
good parts aside, I haue no other charmes.
Qui.
Blessing on your heart for't.
Fal.
But I pray thee tell me this: has Fords wife, and
Pages wife acquainted each other, how they loue me?
Qui.
That were a iest indeed: they haue not so little
grace I hope, that were a tricke indeed: But Mistris Page
would desire you to send her your little Page of al loues:
her husband has a maruellous infectiō to the little Page:
and truely Master Page is an honest man: neuer a wife in
Windsor leades a better life then she do's: doe what shee
will, say what she will, take all, pay all, goe to bed when
she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and truly she
deserues it; for if there be a kinde woman in Windsor, she
is one: you must send her your Page, no remedie.
Fal.
Why, I will.
Qu.
Nay, but doe so then, and looke you, hee may
come and goe betweene you both: and in any case haue
a nay-word, that you may know one anothers minde,
and the Boy neuer neede to vnderstand any thing; for
'tis not good that children should know any wickedness:
olde folkes you know, haue discretion, as they say, and
know the world.
Fal.
Farethee-well, commend mee to them both:
there's my purse, I am yet thy debter: Boy, goe along
with this woman, this newes distracts me.
Pist.
This Puncke is one of Cupids Carriers,
Clap on more sailes, pursue: vp with your fights:
Giue fire: she is my prize, or Ocean whelme them all.
Fal.
Saist thou so (old Iacke) go thy waies: Ile make
more of thy olde body then I haue done: will they yet
looke after thee? wilt thou after the expence of so much
money, be now a gainer? good Body, I thanke thee: let
them say 'tis grossely done, so it bee fairely done, no
matter.
Bar.
Sir Iohn, there's one Master Broome below would
faine speake with you, and be acquainted with you; and
hath sent your worship a mornings draught of Sacke.
Fal.
Broome is his name?
Bar.
I Sir.
Fal.
Call him in: such Broomes are welcome to mee,
that ore'flowes such liquor: ah ha, Mistresse Ford and Mistresse
Page, haue I encompass'd you? goe to, via.
Ford.
'Blesse you sir.
Fal.
And you sir: would you speake with me?
Ford.
I make bold, to presse, with so little preparation
vpon you.
Fal.
You'r welcome, what's your will? giue vs leaue
Drawer.
Ford.
Sir, I am a Gentleman that haue spent much,
my name is Broome.
Fal.
Good Master Broome, I desire more acquaintance
of you.
Ford.
Good Sir Iohn, I sue for yours: not to charge
you, for I must let you vnderstand, I thinke my selfe in
better plight for a Lender, then you are: the which hath
something emboldned me to this vnseason'd intrusion:
for they say, if money goe before, all waies doe lye
open.
Fal.
Money is a good Souldier (Sir) and will on.
Ford.
Troth, and I haue a bag of money heere troubles
me: if you will helpe to beare it (Sir Iohn) take all,
or halfe, for easing me of the carriage.
Fal.
Sir, I know not how I may deserue to bee your
Porter.
Ford.
I will tell you sir, if you will giue mee the hearing.
Fal.
Speake (good Master Broome) I shall be glad to
be your Seruant.
Ford.
Sir, I heare you are a Scholler: (I will be briefe
with you) and you haue been a man long knowne to me,
though I had neuer so good means as desire, to make my
selfe acquainted with you. I shall discouer a thing to
you, wherein I must very much lay open mine owne imperfection:
but (good Sir Iohn) as you haue one eye vpon
my follies, as you heare them vnfolded, turne another
into the Register of your owne, that I may passe with a
reproofe the easier, sith you your selfe know how easie it
is to be such an offender.
Fal.
Very well Sir, proceed.
Ford.
There is a Gentlewoman in this Towne, her
husbands name is Ford.
Fal.
Well Sir.
Ford.
I haue long lou'd her, and I protest to you, bestowed
much on her: followed her with a doating obseruance:
Ingross'd opportunities to meete her: fee'd euery
slight occasion that could but nigardly giue mee
sight of her: not only bought many presents to giue her,
but haue giuen largely to many, to know what shee
would haue giuen: briefly, I haue pursu'd her, as Loue
hath pursued mee, which hath beene on the wing of all
occasions: but whatsoever I haue merited, either in my
minde, or in my meanes, meede I am sure I haue receiued
none, vnlesse Experience be a Iewell, that I haue purchased
at an infinite rate, and that hath taught mee to say
this,
“Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.
Fal.
Haue you receiu'd no promise of satisfaction at
her hands?
Ford.
Neuer.
Fal.
Haue you importun'd her to such a purpose?
Ford.
Neuer.
Fal.
Of what qualitie was your loue then?
Ford.
Like a fair house, built on another mans ground,
so that I haue lost my edifice, by mistaking the place,
where I erected it.
Fal.
To what purpose haue you vnfolded this to me?
For.
When I haue told you that, I haue told you all:
Some say, that though she appeare honest to mee, yet in
other places shee enlargeth her mirth so farre, that there
is shrewd construction made of her. Now (Sir Iohn) here
is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent
breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance,
authenticke in your place and person, generally
allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned
preparations.
Fal.
O Sir.
Ford.
Beleeue it, for you know it: there is money,
spend it, spend it, spend more; spend all I haue, onely
an amiable siege to the honesty of this Fords wife: vse
your Art of wooing; win her to consent to you: if any
man may, you may as soone as any.
Fal.
Would it apply well to the vehemency of your
affection that I should win what you would enioy? Methinkes
you prescribe to your selfe very preposterously.
Ford.
O, vnderstand my drift: she dwells so securely
on the excellency of her honor, that the folly of my soule
dares not present it selfe: shee is too bright to be look'd
against. Now, could I come to her with any detection
in my hand; my desires had instance and argument to
commend themselues, I could driue her then from the
ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow,
and a thousand other her defences, which now are too-too
strongly embattaild against me: what say you too't,
Sir Iohn?
Fal.
Master Broome, I will first make bold with your
money: next, giue mee your hand: and last, as I am a
gentleman, you shall, if you will, enioy Fords wife.
Ford.
O good Sir.
Fal.
I say you shall.
Ford.
Want no money (Sir Iohn) you shall want none.
Fal.
Want no Mistresse Ford (Master Broome) you shall
want none: I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her
owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her assistant,
or goe-betweene, parted from me: I say I shall be
with her betweene ten and eleuen: for at that time the
iealious-rascally-knaue her husband will be forth: come
you to me at night, you shall know how I speed.
Ford.
I am blest in your acquaintance: do you know
Ford Sir?
Fal.
Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know
him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They say
the iealous wittolly-knaue hath masses of money, for
the which his wife seemes to me well-fauourd: I will vse
her as the key of the Cuckoldly-rogues Coffer, & ther's
my haruest-home.
Ford.
I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might auoid
him, if you saw him.
Fal.
Hang him, mechanicall-salt-butter rogue; I wil
stare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cudgell:
it shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns:
Master Broome, thou shalt know, I will predominate ouer
the pezant, and thou shalt lye with his wife. Come
to me soone at night: Ford's a knaue, and I will aggrauate
his stile: thou (Master Broome) shalt know him for
knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me soone at night.
Ford.
What a damn'd Epicurian-Rascall is this? my
heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who saies this
is improuident iealousie? my wife hath sent to him, the
howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue
thought this? see the hell of hauing a false woman: my
bed shall be abus'd, my Coffers ransack'd, my reputation
gnawne at, and I shall not onely receiue this villanous
wrong, but stand vnder the adoption of abhominable
termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes,
names: Amaimon sounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbason,
well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends:
But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himselfe
hath not such a name. Page is an Asse, a secure Asse; hee
will trust his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather
trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welsh-man
with my Cheese, an Irish-man with my Aqua-vitæ-bottle,
or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then
my wife with her selfe. Then she plots, then shee ruminates,
then shee deuises: and what they thinke in their
hearts they may effect; they will breake their hearts but
they will effect. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealousie:
eleuen o'clocke the howre, I will preuent this, detect
my wife, bee reueng'd on Falstaffe, and laugh at Page. I
will about it, better three houres too soone, then a mynute
too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold.
Exit.
Scena Tertia.
Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.Caius.
Iacke Rugby.
Rug.
Sir.
Caius.
Vat is the clocke, Iack.
Rug.
'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd
to meet.
Cai.
By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no-come:
hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar
(Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.
Rug.
Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would
kill him if he came.
Cai.
By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill
him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill
kill him.
Rug.
Alas sir, I cannot fence.
Cai.
Villanie, take your Rapier.
Rug.
Forbeare: heer's company.
Host.
'Blesse thee, bully-Doctor.
Shal.
Saue you M
r. Doctor Caius.
Page.
Now good M
r. Doctor.
Slen.
'Giue you good-morrow, sir.
Caius.
Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?
Host.
To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee
trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee
passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy
montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco?
ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my
heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully-Stale? is he dead?
Cai.
By gar, he is de Coward-Iack-Priest of de vorld:
he is not show his face.
Host.
Thou art a Castalion-king-Vrinall: Hector of
Greece (my Boy)
Cai.
I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,
sixe or seuen, two or tree howres for him, and hee is no-come.
Shal.
He is the wiser man (M. Docto)rhe is a curer of
soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you
goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true,
Master Page?
Page.
Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a
great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Shal.
Body-kins M. Page, though I now be old, and
of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and
Church-men (M. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth
in vs, we are the sons of women (M. Page.)
Page.
'Tis true, M
r. Shallow.
Shal.
It wil be found so, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius,
I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace:
you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir
Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Churchman:
you must goe with me, M. Doctor.
Pardon, Guest-Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke-water.
Cai.
Mock-vater? vat is dat?
Host.
Mock-water, in our English tongue, is Valour
(Bully.)
Cai.
By gar, then I haue as much Mock-vater as de
Englishman: scuruy-Iack-dog-Priest: by gar, mee vill
cut his eares.
Host.
He will Clapper-claw thee tightly (Bully.)
Cai.
Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?
Host.
That is, he will make thee amends.
Cai.
By-gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper-de-claw
me, for by-gar, me vill haue it.
Host.
And I will prouoke him to 't, or let him wag.
Cai.
Me tanck you for dat.
Host.
And moreouer, (Bully) but first, M
r. Ghuest,
and M. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through
the Towne to Frogmore.
Page.
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host.
He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will
bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?
Shal.
We will doe it.
All.
Adieu, good M. Doctor.
Cai.
By-gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for a
Iack-an-Ape to Anne Page.
Host.
Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold
water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee
through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistris Anne
Page is, at a Farm-house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe
her: Cride-game, said I well?
Cai.
By-gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue
you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle,
de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.
Host.
For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward
Anne Page: said I well?
Cai.
By-gar, 'tis good: vell said.
Host.
Let vs wag then.
Cai.
Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby.
Exeunt.
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