 | The Female Rebelion |  |
ACT 3.
SCEN: 1s t .
Enter Jasius, Ericthonius, Ilus, and Alcymen (from the left.)Eric.
Oh! To what a real transformation are we fallen, we're
made now what we were call'd, mere dogs, but that we have more
barking stomachs and worse food.
Jas.
And those Orts too by Troy weight.
Ilu.
Nor are we like to mend our commons, till the Sun mends
'em at next grass.
Alc.
Why Goalers treat you but as Priests do their deitys, who
offer them the garbish, eat the good flesh themselves.
Ilu.
Our drink too is as cheap as our thirst, plain water; which
coming from their hard hearts is from a rock.
Jas.
And that, alass! is the lowest of Natures free quarter.
Alcy.
You'd had store of scraps but that our pinch gut zealot hath
more a dying then a living at home, that cabben of Famine, who,
instead of practicing, eats upon charity, and rather than be a Geneva
housekeeper, conforms to the Babylonish order of mendicants. This
firebrand is hot against cookery, for that coals contribute to the building
of Churches; and counts the burning of new Troy a judgement
on wastfull baking, because it was hatched in an Oven.
Enter Laranda (from the right.)
Lar.
Is this your civilest hospitality to strangers?
[to Alcy.
Alcy.
I was now going to play the Orator for 'em to their Amazons.
Lar.
Then
you should first vouchsafe 'em their own Apparel,
perhaps they may reconcile those by a manly dance, they have offended
by a brutish.
I know good dancing is as prevalent with a Lady as Love-powder.
Lar.
Dancers heels have a kind of humble Rhetoric, such as his
was, who, for want of hands, drew his petition with his toes.
Ilu.
Then, pray, let us two change suits, & I'll present 'em a
City Sarabrand.
Eric.
And I a country Jig.
[Ilu. points to Eric.
Jas.
And I will present 'em with a Pyrrhic dance.
Alcy.
Since your good gifts lie so low, ye shall shake your well-bred
haunches to a bagfull of Music.
[Alcy. drives out Jas., Eric., & Ilu. (at ye left.)
Enter Queen, Thalestris, and Eribea; Attendants (from ye right.)
Tha.
Will your Majesty promote my design about the cats? it is
invaluable.
Erib.
When, indeed, were you ever valuable?
[Erib. smiles.
Tha.
There's your Bromighams labour to keep the Queen poor,
and I as much to enrich her.
Erib.
By what Legerdemain?
[laughingly.
Tha.
Your laughing speaks you worthy to hear it. First, then,
she should engross all the cats into her hands, suffering no body to
keep any without a fine; next, vent none in a year, till the land were
overrun with four footed, as it is with fanatic Vermin.
Erib.
But would it not be an oppression to ye People?
Tha.
Arot take the People, who cares for them? so the Queen
get the mony, 'twere not a farthing matter if there were no people
at all.
Erib.
How then could she reign?
Tha.
What a wise question that is! don't you see, if 'twere not
the People she might reign with all the ease in the world; moreover
she may have the skins too return'd for her use. Then if any of 'em,
should prove a witch, there were a Ghostly blessing, Her Majesty
hereby would have a friend of the Devil at all turns.
Ay, that is a familiar worth having, for he is so great now
with our plotters and shamplotters, that nothing is managed among 'em
but by his black Art.
Tha.
Besides, she should let to none above three lives (of the
nine) in a puss, least by long observing their perduing in the dark,
killing their game in barbarous sport, in all falls lighting on their feet, &
mewing like babes to suck out their souls when they are asleep, they
should turn Polcat conspirators.
Erib.
You're Politic out of all reason.
Tha.
I Beleive so, Therefore I maintain a Whittington colledge
of cats; Cyprus Beautys, and Civets that stink sweetly, are my fellow
commoners, and diet as demurely as a kitchen wench new started into
a Lady.
Erib.
Then go and see them finely fed, their skins may make fine
muffs, and their gutts fiddle strings.
[Exit Tha. (at ye left); Erib. points at he[r] scoffingly.
Enter Antiopa, Penthesilea, and Celeno (from ye right.)
Ant.
Madam, because your Generals Pride perverts
Th'Allegiance of your People, the Militia
Voted her death, and prays you'll sign the bill.
[Ant. offers the Queen a parchment, which she refuses.
Que.
Keep your packt votes for cumulative treason.
Cel.
We only petition you'd not wear a crown in wardship, for
why should you live under the Pedantry of your own favorite? that's
but hazarding your throne, to ransome one to betray it.
[Ant. offers the Queen the writing again.
Qu.
You on past actions have such censures lay'd,
As if law could be broke before 'twas made,
And she by prophecy had disobey'd;
Then damn'd your own example by a clause,
'Gainst retrospection in all future laws;
Was ever framed, it ought to be no more.
Whose life were safe, if by majority
Of Voices shee for common fame should dy?
That monstrous bastard got by every one,
And every where, yet father'd still by none?
Pen.
You strengthen our resolves while you refuse,
And Aggravate her guilt you thus excuse.
Obstructing justice heightens our desire,
As Thermodons swift stream when stopp'd swells higher;
Who denys ought yeilds all unto the strong,
Powers that can suffer none can do no wrong.
Que.
Away with your vain threats, they are but rude
Billows, which rise in noise, in froth conclude.
I can with ease your mighty fury slight,
And stand the fortress of afflicted right.
Your selves you spiders prove, by what ye speak,
Your venom's strong, your web of pleading weak.
Begone!
[To Ant., Pen., and Cel.
Pen.
Without a grant?
Que.
Not a look more.
Ant.
We but petition'd that she might deny.
[To Pen. and Cel., aside (who exeunt, with Antio., at the inner part of ye left.)
Lar.
Will you desert the Queen too?
[To Erib. & Atten., who ex. there also.
Erib.
Alack! they that spit against the wind, spit in their own
faces.
Que.
Their well-fare yet shall be my cheif designe,
Ev'n when they are most violent 'gainst mine.
Lar.
Thus holy Incense while to smoak it turns,
Atonement makes for them by whom it burns.
Thal.
My Leige, if you'd yr Foes escape, I've fram'd a horse will
carry you from Pole to Pole, without drawing bit or eating bit.
Lar.
This project is like the Powder of projection, too beneficial
for a subject.
Thal.
You'd gett it forbid by Authority, would you? if you
should, that would but make it take the better.
Lar.
Of what is it made?
Tha.
Of Cork, 'tis none of the Greeks wooden Palfrys.
Lar.
But how doth it move?
Tha.
How do's the wheel of Fortune move? by an Intelligence,
and by the turning Mystical screws can Trot, amble, or Gallop.
Lar.
And are all its paces easy?
Tha.
So easy you'd veryly think it stood still.
Lar.
That's the truest part of yr story.
Tha.
Put wings to't 'twill make a Pegasus, and maintain a trade
to the moon, which bring in Incredible profit.
Lar.
Doubtless, very incredible.
Tha.
Shoe it with lead, and you may dive into the bottom of the
ocean.
Lar.
Then you will be able to purchase the whole continent by
the Benefit of Shipive Acts.
Tha.
Yes, If I live to't, I have made sure of all Terra incognita
allready.
Lar.
And then you'll cause the Packet Boats and stage coaches,
by sea and land, to turn all penny posts.
Tha.
You see I love not to brag but know enough: If Nature
and Art should lay both their bald pates togather, they could not produce
such a masterpiece of Gimetry.
Lar.
I am of your Opinion.
Tha.
You'll be more so when you see it.
Lar.
'Twill be time enough then to beleive it.
[exit Tha. (at ye left.)
Qu.
Cozen, the Mutinous camp your blood require.
Nic.
Madam, I heard so, and to quench their fire
I'd gladly spend it all.
Que.
You shall not loose
A drop; for rather than endure the shame
Of rendring you, I'll perish in the Flame.
Nic.
It was your Favour drew on me this Fate;
And therefore now I must entreat yr hate:
You are the mark each courtier strives to touch,
When any lie near that, all throw at such.
Que.
It was your truth did my respect excite,
And shall I do you wrong, for doing right?
Nic.
Will you by saving one disorder all?
Queen.
I'd rather hazard the whole Empire's fall,
Than by the sword of law this murder do;
And with the Just slaughter my Justice too.
Nic.
To grant my wish to me's no Iniury,
Nor is it much to give one leave to die.
Que.
They best deserve to Live who Death defy.
Nic.
O let me beg the Honour thus to fall!
[Nic. kneels.
Que.
When I with honour can consent, you shall.
Nic.
You cannot Life without my Death enjoy.
Que.
And they in murdering you will me destroy.
Nic.
I see you scorn I should a ransom be,
[Nic. rises.
To set your person or your scepter free.
Therefore my Interest now shall be my strife,
I'll side with murderers to guard my Life.
Que.
Oh! Let us both bear up, or sink together.
Nic.
'Tis better one should be preserv'd than neither.
I'd save for my sake, for yours loose my breath,
But not both throw away my Life and Death.
How can you thus your Loyalty reject?
Nic.
I'll pay Allegiance when you can protect.
Thô now I'm forced to 'spouse the thriving side,
If the stream turn, I'll strike in with the Tide.
Que.
Had I my sword I would prevent your purpose.
Nic.
But now you cannot stop me with a word:
You see what Princes are that quit their sword.
[Exit Nicost. (at ye outer part of the left.)
Enter Sagalus (from the right.)
Sag.
Madam, why thus without your guards?
Que.
My souldiers, Sr, are rebells grown;
And the worst is my Cozen's one.
Sag.
Since she's false hearted let her go,
She ne're was friend can be a foe;
For your own safety now provide,
And in some close retirement hide.
Que.
Hide? bid the Sun forsake his light,
And grope about the world by night,
Before I out of sight do draw
From them, to whom my Looks were Law.
Sa.
Expect here no command, unless
You by my Army their[s] suppress.
Que.
I'll use no forreign Forces, They
By Blood must hither make their way,
And by continual Plunder stay.
The Nation spoil'd, where's then my Throne?
To make it mine, I make it none.
Better trust Natures cure, than try
So Desperate a remedy.
Sag.
Will you abandon all to Traytors?
Que.
Yes, though they're bad, they're mine still,
I prize my trust from Heav'n not gain,
But for their sakes, I would not reign.
Who crowns as pleasures estimate,
Think on their Lustre not their weight;
Thorny is what they still imply,
That epithet's Tautology.
Subjects in want on few do call,
A distress'd Monarch asks of all,
And must compound at their own rate
For aid, to make them Fortunate.
While short Joys which smooth Princes cares,
Are grudg'd by them, take double shares.
Sag.
Will you our gratitude thus slight?
Que.
I would accept it if I might:
How e're the courtesy's no less,
Than if you did my state redress,
Since by it I have this renown,
For subjects good to leave a Crown.
Sag.
Yet, for your safeguard, instantly
Hast to my Camp.
Que.
What, shall I fly,
And blast my shame with cowardice?
Sag.
Call not a fair Retreat a Vice:
All's lost if they yr person gain.
Que.
All's worse if I my glory stain.
Enter Lanthinus (from the left.)
Lan.
Sr, your souldiers mutiny, 'cause you march'd not with them
against the Queen.
Sag.
Love, which made me send them, kept me from going.
Madam, I now abhor my own request,
How well you could Divine your stay was best.
Now I'll not stay, thô Nations strow'd the ground,
Kneeling in their own Tears to hedge me round.
Sag.
Shall I persuade you into dangers, who
Repelled that from my Men, & my self too?
Que.
Danger's a Goblin th'Innocent ne're see,
There's none but in contending against me;
For Heaven by Panic fear can millions quail,
I fight Heaven's fight, and shall like that prevail.
Sag.
Ventring alone your self you cannot save.
Que.
They'll spare me one, who them so many gave.
Sag.
Oh go not hence, while your own Army Raves.
Que.
Not go! When my Friends cause asistance craves?
Thô yr files stood so thick, that when they list,
With their own breath they could create a mist,
Which them from every eye but heaven would shrow'd,
I'd look 'em down as the Sun melts a cloud,
Your Camps disloyal Heat I'll quickly cool;
Mine shall recant e're I vouchsafe to Rule.
Sag.
You make th'High tales of Heroines all true,
And their Hyperboles below your Due.
Enter Thal. (from ye right.)
Tha.
My Soveraign, among the Buzzing swarms in the Beehive
of my cranium, I have one crotchet above Ela for you.
Lar.
How is it?
Tha.
'Tis foreknowledge [of] the weather in the State by strology.
Lar.
As-strology, you mean.
Tha.
No (Goody Fool), my Art has nothing of the Ass in it; you
may keep that to yr self.
Quee.
But, Thalestris, I am now upon a dangerous exploit,
wherein your sage company would be a Palladium.
Tha.
Mine? Your Realm would be in a sweet taking, if my Life
should be lost; I perceive you're given to Rallery.
Why willn't march?
Tha.
You will never leave your Joking, who'd have ever thought,
Madam, you had been such a very wag?
Que.
Not charge with me?
Tha.
Charge? be so civil to be sliced in complaisance? have my
body broached? and all my good parts run out at one Orifice? I'm
glad your Majesty's so merry.
Que.
Sure Valour's one of yr good parts.
Tha.
Can that be a good part which would ruin the whole? let
learning and valour be confounded for a brace of wranglers, the one
setts the world togather by the ears, and the other destroys it.
Que.
I knew the excess of Danger was Amulet enough against
such a craven.
[Exeunt Queen, Sag., Lan. (at the left.)
Lar. offers to go forth (at the right); enter Nicostrate there.
Nic.
Lady of Honour, pray where is the Queen?
Lar.
Out of your Anti-monarchical reach.
Nic.
Gone (I presume) to Invite the Scythians back.
Lar.
Fetch Aliens? She disclaim'd their aid, though proffered.
Nic.
Hark, I must leave you.
[Trūpet within (at the left) sounds low.
Lar.
Farewell, Plebeian Peer; yr Highness, & High constable
that shall be.
[Exit Nic. (at the left); Laran. (at the right.)
SCEN: 2d.
Appear: An Army of Amazons.Enter Antiopa without her medal, Penthesilea, Celeno, & Amazon Troopers with naked Cymitars (from ye left); Trumpet within sounds high.
Amazon Troopers.
Liberty—Liberty—Liberty!
Anti.
Friends & Free Commoners, since to compleat
Our Freedom, we've cast off the bonds of Monarchy
As well as marriage; what our courage gain'd,
Let us preserve by Laws of moderation.
Cel.
You are violent for moderation; And talk of Laws, when
military Law is as very a contradiction as military peace; But I'd have
a Golden Age at wish; yet at present I'd accept the Scriveners bags
by content, and, for their good, prevent their wofull continuance in the
sin of treacherous extortion.
Pen.
But first lets turn the Palace into Ashes,
And then reform the Temple into rubbish,
'Cause rebuilt by Orithya; and force the Images
To fall before us, as we did to them;
And make it known 'tis we that are their makers.
If the Citts pluck not in their Horns, we'll slaughter those over
grown Vealheads strait by wholesale, stocking fates dark plantation
with their Negro souls.
Enter Nicostrate (from the right.)
—Nicostrate! yr blood will be an offering
Fitt to prelude our sacrifice to Vengeance.
[Pen. offers to draw.
Nic.
First hear me speak, althô it be my last:
I come to tender my Life an Oblation
Or to your service, or severity.
My secret grudge against Orythia.
Cel.
Then it seems you hate her as some malepert dames do
their husbands, purely for being too fond of 'em.
Nic.
Alas! you're conscious all our Parents were
At deadly feud; and all her lulling favours
To me were but Court Practices, t'expose me
At home to envy, and Abroad to perils.
Ant.
I well remember it, & have oft Admired
You could forget it.
Nic.
I forget it? no.
Things were not ripe then; try me now, and see
With what Increase of hate I'll make amends.
Enter Eribea & Amazon Pioners with lighted torches, pickaxes, & shovels (from the left.)
Ant.
Then do you first give fire to her Palace.
Nic.
More joyfully than ever spouse did light
Her Nuptial torch; but, pray, consider whether
It be well tim'd; For if we do not quickly
Seize Sagalus and Orythya, they'll advance
An Army hither, And in the confusion of this
Wild Fire, consume our hopes and us.
Ant.
Then shall we march the Maiden troops with us?
Alc.
You may, but I can lead ye where one blow
Will do the work, & you shall see me strike it.
Pen.
She dies Piecemeal who robs me of that honour.
Ant.
Bid the Governess of the Tower garrison the Palace.
[to Erib.
Erib.
Follow Adjutors, and say what ye are hired to speak.
Justice! Justice! we must and will have Justice!
[Exeunt Ant., Pen., Cel., Nico., Troj. Pion. (at the outward part of the left.) Erib. offers to go forth (at the inner part of the left); enter there Alcymen; Jasius in his own cloaths; Ericthonius in Ilus's; and Ilus in Ericthonius's, practicing their Dances, & a Bagpiper playing.
Erib.
I was bringing you orders from the committe of Safety to
garrison the Palace.
Alc.
And I was conducting to 'em these skip-jacks, who think
that strong-backt capering the next way to leap into their bosoms.
Erib.
They're now upon higher employs then to tend their
frisking giblets; Therefore remit these wretches to their shackles, and
with those Iron rings marry 'em to their bondage.
Jas.
That we should truckle thus under the Inferior sex, which
had ne're been made but for an help to ours! And make woman our
mock Paradise, by worse allurements than we forfeited the True.
Alc.
How! dare you, that are but Nature's foul draught, prefer
your selves to us, who are so plainly her fairest copy, And want little
of Angells but their wings?
Jas.
That want makes ye more like to fall'n Angells, but admit
your Bodys finer, all that beauty is but skin deep, while your
capac[it]ys for knowledge are shallows, and therefore the harder to be
fill'd. Those Egyptians who worship darkness, have not a greater
share of it in their understandings, & no marvel, since the Patroness
of Wit had none but by a Masculine Parent.
Alc.
That's because your education stifles their Intellect, for if their
lives lay on't, you'll not allow 'em their book; yet the Father of Verse
delivers his Oracles by a Poetess, and the Patron of war was born
only of a Mother. Nay, the Battel Ax, Sheild, & Drū were Invented
by Amazons.
Jas.
We acknowledge you of this Queendom are Buffcoat spinsters,
being born females ye are educated into males.
Alc.
Nay, our courage is not from our breeding but constitution,
which made Hyppolita combat Theseus himself; and Menalippe had
ne're been surprized into eternal Honour by Hercules, had she not
been as much a Lion in Heart as he in habit.
Jas.
Yet your half-hearted Sex make no figure in other Nations,
but are every where Cyphers.
Alc.
That is, Shee's Leave the Fatigue of
Goverment to He's,
and reap the fruit of it themselves; you wear the Gown and we the
breeches, for what's the Difference, whether women govern Cittys, or
they who Rule Cittys obey women?
Jas.
But did not even Nature constitute man yr head & superintendant?
Alc.
The Quite contrary; For all children, according to her Law,
belong to the Mother by right of prepossession, and for that they are
wholly composed of her substance, and because she's known & not
ye Father, so that originally y'are so far from preeminence over us, you
have not so much as a Title to yr selves, Man had the Honour to be
mother to woman once, but woman hath been to mankind ever since.
Erib.
You have argued so well for our precedency, as if all that
was good in the Masculine sex had center'd in that rib, whereof the
Feminine was made.
Eric.
Yet, as you reduced us to our shapes, restore us to our
Freedome too, you'll have the credit of making us compleat men
again.
[To Alcy.
Erib.
Don't; They are all of a creed, & fitter to be parted &
humbled, for this more than odious comparison.
Alc.
Then I'll remit Jasius to the Castle, commit Ilus to the
Citty, and confine Ericthonius in the Country.
Erib.
Do, that they may want the comfort even of the coarsest
society, that is their own.
Yet, by this, we shall loose a rare mess of Dancing Petty toes.
Erib.
Better miss any dances, than (as the fashion is) drag 'em in
by head and shoulders; for if they come in headlong, they are like to
gett off but lamely.
[Alcy. drives out Trojans (at the inner part of ye left.)
Enter Anti., Penthes., Celeno (at the outer part of the left.)
Ant.
Since we are for the good old cause, let's court the mobile
with a self denying Ordinance, and sculk to spiritual Humiliations,
which yet all must know off.
Cel.
Then we'll no longer Trim our heads with sparkling Jewells,
as if our eys were made Pendants to our ears.
Ant.
And those lying glasses, which are but Parasites of Ladys
looks, shall be dashed in peices, for bearing false witness so grosly
to their Faces.
Cel.
Nor shall our Male-Court-things
be any longer beholdingto the Gallows for executed Perrukes.
Pen.
If the noddys won't wear their own hair, let 'em not wear
their own noddles.
Cel.
And the Tax for Chimny mony shall extend against
smoakers, who make Chimnys of their throats.
Ant.
Then we'll turn our Kettles and Pots to Drums and Helmets,
that as those instruments of Luxury were to us, they may be to our
Enemys, utensils of Death.
Pen.
And when we are dead, let the Amazons Pluck off our skins
for Drū-heads, & beat Alarums on 'em with our bones; then make
fire balls of our skulls to confound the Masculine world.
Anti.
Eribea, Nicostrate's in your Goal, chain her hand & foot.
Cel.
Let her have no company, that hath human likeness, but her
shaddows.
Use her so, that she may wish death for ease;
And in respect of us, think Hell may please.
[Exit Erib. (at ye left); Anti., Pen., & Cel. (at the right.)
| The Female Rebelion | |