University of Virginia Library

ACT 2d.

SCENE 1s t.

Enter Jasius, Ericthonius, and Ilus, with the Queens colours in their caps, Musitians piping, and Ganimede with footless Glasses (from the right.)
Jas.

Well, another such feast as this would be as destructive to the
creatures allmost as the Deluge.

Ilu.

O more, for there the fish had a protection; but here was a
strong flood of wine, wherein both flesh and fish went universally to
wrack.

Eric.

I hope this will please our farmers, who are well nigh starved
for lack of a Famine; but now they may be thankfull for whistling out
their goods, though at ye rate of regraters.

Jas.

Yet it had more promoted a dearth if the Queen had sacrificed
too.

Ilu.

Since she did not, let us carouse their health kneeling, till
our bloods on fire, and call that a sacrifice.

Jas.

And break our glasses instead of a libation.

Ilu.

And burn our hated formalitys for an offering; we can ne're
take this health too bare.

Eric.

And make the Trojans Catch officiate for a Hymn.

[Trojans throw off their caps, Perrukes, Doublets, and breeches; Musitians playing, and sing the Catch; Trojans repeat the last stanza.
Catch.

[Gan. gives each of them a brimmer; who take up their caps, and kneeling dip the Queens colours in their glasses, then draw the colours over their lips, and lay down their caps.
Jas.

Methinks the Queens colours thus devoutly kissed, should
make us thirst to serve under 'em.

Eric.

Such service could not wast our blood faster, than this of
the grape would recruit it.

Ilu.

Each bottle of claret would double our manhood, and be as
serviceable to the Queen as a new Red coat.

Jas.

Then, Volly of Bumpers to her Majesty!

[Mus. play a Health, while Trojans make their glasses touch each other, then toss the wine off togather, and the glasses over their heads.
Enter Laranda in Jewells (from the right.)
Lar.

O brave Topers! have your lame glasses brought you off
yr legs, and now, at it on yr stumps? most pure devotion! You see
nothing's of heavyer carriage than wine, which makes you cripples
without lameness.

[Troj. stand up.
Jas.

Why a loyal health is a sure test of Allegiance, and civiler
too than swearing. Sobriety against conscience is worse than drink
against stomack.

Ilu.

There needs no glass windows to the heart, these Glasses
will bring it into the mouth.

Lar.

But your Amazons are more lumpish than the Queens
Adversarys doubly crossed; who missed their devout gluttony, when
they would have eaten a Thanksgiving for being defeated.

Eric.

Do those Scorpions move this way?

Lar.

Yes, and perhaps to sting you in the midst of your Frolicks.

Eric.

If they take us thus stripped, they will proceed to flay us
out right.

Jas.

I could ev'n leap out of my skin for joy of their sadness.

Eric.

Come let us go tun ourselves in the empty vessells.

Ilu.

Then who can say but the wine's in the cask still?

[Trojans gather up their cloaths, Gani. Bottles and glasses, and exeunt with Music (at the left); Lar. (at the right.)

SCEN: 2d.

App: A Park.
Enter Antiopa with a Medal about her neck; Penthesilea and Celeno (from the right.)
Pen.
And shall our men Injure us too unpunished?
This wrong on wrong enslaves us unto slaves.

Anti.
Affronts come now in clusters, therefore I
Before the Queen, with oily adulation,
But skinn'd the wound, that it might rankle inwards.

Cel.

Honesty's a weed makes the ground unprofitable where it
grows, and these silly acts of good Nature to me are unnatural: I
hold it the only knavery to cheat ones self.

Ant.
Since profit is your aim, what readyer way
Can lead to wealth, than specious Reformation?
Had Fortune eys she could not spy Inferiors,
Superiors do so shade 'em: do but level
Those Giants of the Court, our Royal Oaks,
The humble shrubs will quickly spread their Arms
To hug the sunbeams, and rise up to meet 'em;
Then with each gale bow down in reverence to 'em.

Pen.
Nicostrate, that Earwig, must be crusht.

Ant.
She stops the Queens ears from us all, yet wriggles
Into the closet of her thoughts; and sells
The sight of her, as if she were a monster.

Cel.

She is the sound, thrô which all preferments pass and pay
double custome.

Ant.

We are names writ o'th'backside of her memory.

Cel.

Why did you e're know, Officers that had a glance of Court
favours, but took it for a commission to storm their betters abroad?

Pen.

Yet the sword may carve out our satisfaction.

Cel.

Then why should her courteous arrogance attain the unconscionable
monoply of Benefits? I long to be so civil to our gouty
Grandees, as to ease them of the drudgery of their offices, and draw
our patent for't out of our scabberds; can there be a stronger Title to
any thing than strength itself? Allow but the sword cheif Judge of
Pleas, I'll mutiny with the busiest Assembler of them all; nay, for a
need, I can be seditious against my own side, and at last most heartily
fall out with my self.

Ant.
Doubt not of mony; first we'll sooth the Rabble,
Our patient Beast, out of their Plate and Jewells,
The Pride and wast of the City; transmute
Their silver to true horsemen with a Vote,
Promising them the Courts and Churches pillage,
With mounts of golden Impossibilitys.

Cel.

Spoke like a sanctify'd Polititian, thou Quintessence of
Hypocrisy, you may take even Protectors for Pupills to the Liberal
art of Dissimulation.

Ant.
We'll then contrive Petitions to our selves to licence Plunder,
And forge bloody plots to make
Those guilty oft, who have most to loose.
That they which lend not some may forfeit all,
Slander 'em with faith thats most unpopular,
Then disinherit root and branch for Hereticks.

Cel.

Let me alone to shear those sheepsheads close enough, The
dull whelps of blīd obedience; I'll not leave 'em sustenance to keep
so much as their days of Pennance, Nor woolen sufficient to bury 'em
according to the Act; And plead a plenè Administravit of their
chattels before their Death.

Ant.
Then with strange Taxes next, and pious cheats,
(Which in the Godly party must be honest)
Draw down the Gentry to the Lees of Fortune:
Rise from a Fast to devour Palaces,
Then with demure looks consecrate our Frauds;
And triumph in the spoils of beggar'd Nations.

Cel.

Our Wills should be Peculiars subordinate to no Jurisdiction;
arbitrary obedience is the right Liberty of the subject.

Anti.
We fight not now like simple mercenarys
For Pay but Empire; all, all, must be ours.

Cel.

I know not whether Plundering or slaying be the veryer
Butchery, for the clowns pay mony so faintly, you'd think they bled
their Tribute, looking as pale as their departed silver: they politickly
starve themselves to save charges, and deserve to be buried with their
Faces downward, for their Life is but a lingering self murther.

Pen.
All this is only Lucre: I am for Revenge,
Why should the cursed Fiends below
Enjoy so sweet a morsel, more than we?

Ant.
If once the Seperatists were joyn'd with us
In League, whom we proscribed would soon be shades.

Pen.
But I'd at a word speak whom I list to death,
Blasting them as contagion with a breath;
And slaughter with my eys, like Scythian Dames,
Or those rank Trees whose every Twig sheds poyson;
Acting more mischeif than all others meant:
I am tormented, 'till I do torment.

Ant.
You both speak right, but Power deprives us of it.
How often have I mourn'd to see Religion,
And Property (our only pleas to this
And th'other world) both hast'ning towards their graves!
While I close mourner, fearing to be spy'd,
[she weeps.
Wept inwardly, & made my tears ebb back
Into their springs, which allmost d[r]own'd my heart!

Cel.
This suddain current of yr sorrow melts me.

Ant.
Then let us joyn our swords, & our right feet,
[They all draw and joyn their hilts and right feet, and lay their left hands on their right breasts, & kiss their hilts.
And laying our left hands on our seard breasts,
Conspire t'a thorough Reformation.
The Queens so mild we may securely covenant,
Or make Association, wars next neighbour,
And I've so gall'd the cāp with their late loss
Of Pillage, and 'cause she persists a Virgin,
But most for innovation in Religion,
(A Thing which all cry up, all practice down)
That the whole Army's one great Mutineer;
Faction's a Plague it grows quickly epidemical.

Pen.
Set me a task, I'll post like sunbeams to it,
Thô 'twere like them to fire the Globe again.

Ant.
Incense the country then, say the Queen Judges
[To Pen.
Sacrifice vain to Incorporeal Powers.
Do you enflame the City, cry their Taxes
[To Cel.
Are all quite cast away by her Indulgence;
Thus her cheif graces so renown'd by all,
We'll make the very engin of her Fall.

[Exeunt Penthesilea and Celeno (at the inner part of the right); and Antiopa (at the left.)

SCEN: 3d.

Before they are gone, Lanthinus peeps in, and enters (from the outward part of the left); and then Sagalus in disguise.
Sag.
What storm of thoughts rolls me I know not whither!

Lan.
Think like your self, are you not King of Scythia?

Sag.
I, King (my Lord) who cannot Rule one bosom?

Lan.
'Tis harder, Sr, to Rule rebellious passions,
Then all yr Legions; For there men alone,
Nature her self must here be overcome.

Sag.
My Legions? 'Tis not so, They're all the Queens by merit,
She has their hearts, she cannot choose but have 'em.

Lan.
Then why d'you venture thus into her land?

Sag.

Venture? Should she now take me, her worst cruelty would
be far wellcomer than all her kindness.

Lan.

Most strange! Who e're heard of a Lover before content his
Lady should prove cruel to him.

Sag.
Never was man perplexed so with the Vices
Of any woman, as I'm with her Virtues;
For she has made me promise not to court her,
Because (as I guess) I'm short of her vast merit:
'Tis this has changed my Love to emulation,
A Passion more outragious than the former.

[Sag. and Lan. spy some coming, and steal out (at the left.)

SCEN: 4t h.

Enter Queen, Nicostrate, Thalestris, Laranda, and Attendants (from ye Right); Alcymen in Jewells (from the left.)
Alc.

Madam, King Sagalus has been in the Park.

Que.

Seize him, and bring him hither.

[exit Alc. at ye left.
[Lar. offers to speak to the Queen, Thal. plucks her back.
Tha.

Gossip, let a Privy-councellor have audience before you.

Lar.

How 'fraid this Title without honour is to be kept from being
a laughing stock.

Tha.

I have a Petition for yr Majesty.

Qu.

Show it me.

Tha.

Nay, 'tis by word of mouth, I'm not schollar enough to
trouble you with false spelling, nor so much a goose to have a quil
amongst your tutoring subscribers.

Queen.

Get it written.

Tha.

Then you'll (in the court fashion) never read it till 'tis quite
worn out. (Queen turns to Nic.)
Huh! 'tis a sad case when Princes
refuse wholsome councel before they hear it.

Enter Alcymen and Sagalus (from the left.) He walks towards the Queen.
Queen.
Leave us!
[Exeunt Nic., Tha., Laran., Alc., and Attend., at ye left.
Sir, I must know what this your coming meant.

Sag.
Md m, since you my Army doubly vanquish'd,
By war and mercy, I would that esteem
They lost without me, without them redeem;
First by surprizing, then releasing you;
That to my gift your safety might be due.

Queen.
Is this the gratitude of Kings? D'you strive
T'ensnare my Life, for rendring them alive?

Sag.
Had they been bury'd quick, 'thad pleased me more,
Than for their lives to run upon the score.

Queen.
Y'are not at all my debtor, only I
Would not be thought t'have done you Injury.

Sag.
Yet public obligations when they bind,
Transcendently o'reload an emulous mind.

Queen.
Fear not reports, I'll stop the mouth of fame.

Sag.
Oh! that were a new favour, and would more
Make me your slave, than all you did before;
It's ingraved here, you ne're can raze it hence,
[he lays his hand on his breast.
Nor can I live since I can't recompence:
And death from you were th'only courtesy.

[He spreads his Arms to receive a thrust.
Qu.
No, since y'are caught, as was your Army, I
Will make you live, and owe yr life to me.

Sag.
I'll owe to none but heav'n alone that claim,
Nor to that longer since I must with shame.

[He offers to kill himself, she hinders him by offering to kill herself.
Que.
Hold your rash hand, unless you'll murder both!

Sag.
Think you that I my Honour will survive?

Queen.
D'you think I'd keep you, without that, alive?
No, take my sword, I'll make my self your Pris'ner,
[she gives him he[r] Cymitar.
And all th'Affection Friendship ever knew
(King Sagalus) I here devote to you.

Sag.
Now could I die contented, since I find,
Though not your person, I have gain'd your mind.

Que.
And 'cause for me you death itself darest bear,
To you I'll part with what to me's more dear
Than Life, my Victory; That you may stand
Conquerour, and your captive me command,
I arm not to destroy, but to ensure,
That without weapon salve my sword might cure.

Sag.
This offer (which I yet must needs refuse)
Me, more than e're you did my men, subdues;
And bids me live in Hope, I sometime may
Your kindness by my Life, or Death repay.
For when I draw this sword, 'twill make me do
[He points to he[r] simitar.
All that Love can and emulation too.

Enter Antiopa, Penthesilea, and Celeno (from the right.)
Pen.
The Queen disarm'd? restore her Arms.

Qu.
No, No,
They're his by gift.

Pen.
Such Presents to a foe?

Queen.
D'you question for so small a donative,
The Nations only representative?
The Law yr Actions, I the Law make true,
Whom you must hear's infallible to you.

Pen.
We are still check'd like Babes.

[To Antiopa and Celeno, aside.
Que.
How mutter against me your Soveraign? who
Nor will nor can wrong to her subjects do,
You may the skys whole Armory withstand,
As well as a chaff'd Monarch's countermand.
For if like them we shoot down death, we may
By you no more be question'd for't, than they;
Our presence can the greatest force refute;
Authority, not strength, is absolute.

Pen.
Then our state must be downright slavery?

Queen.
No, your own Freedom's more established by
Subjection to the Crown; where all are Free
Alike, there all are slaves: For what have we
But is for yr behoof? or why did Fate
First Princes unaccountable create,
And afterwards in Peoples hearts implant
A surly humour to debate that Grant?
No more!

[To Pen., offering to speak.
Anti.
These are but seeds of deeper discontent.

[To Pen. & Cel., who, with Anti., exeunt (at the left.)
Sag.
I am amazed such excellence to see,
Still acting wonders for or else on me.

Enter Laranda (from the right); Thalestris and Alcymen follow.
Laran.

Madam, either some beasts metamorphosed into men,
or men into Beasts, are dancing after an Orpheus.

Queen.

Where?

Lar.

I'th'Park, among herds of like livery.

Queen.

Train 'em, sister, for the Kings divertion.

[exit Lar. (at ye right.)
Tha.

Since the Age is so fallacious, I'll teach yr Majesty a skill
to know your Friends from your Foes.

Queen.

Which way?

Tha.

By an Otomy.

[Queen turns to Nic.
Alc.

Then it concerns you not to be dissected, least your Addle
sconce be discovered, like a nut with a maggot instead of a kernell.

Tha.

I fear it not (Bold face) though I heard of a Lawyer otomized
whos[e] very soul was descry'd in the carcass: For the concavitys of
the brain were stuffed with Proclamations against libelling the
Goverment, and debasing the Soveraign below a Peasant, such
unmannerly Prerogatives of the subject.

Alc.

How was the stomach?

Tha.

'Twas clogg'd with cruditys suck'd from the nauseous Tenets
of Dissenters; and puffed up with huffing Votes, which were never
well dressed, nor digested.

Alc.

What was in the gutts?

Tha.

They were cram̄ed with court rolls about Royal succession,
and the Hierarchy of the Church against the gust of the House.

Alc.

What was the cause of his death?

Tha.

The Party met with hard com̄issions, and hasting of the
bench from the lash of the black rod, was choak'd with a collar of sses.

Alcy.

This is the character of some tantivy Judge, dead in law,
that was open'd by the Joco-serious Heraclite; who cuts by book into
alike maladys, the Philosophers stone and the simples.

Tha.

No, 'twas discern'd within from hermetical signatures; as
agues read time to come in prophetic entra[i]ls. .

Queen and King sit under a bower, Tha. and Alc. below. Enter Attend. (from the right) and sit by; Laranda, an Orpheus with a Harp, Jasius in a Lions skin, Ericthonius in a Bulls, and Ilus in a Horses (from the left): they dance an Antimasq, then uncover their Faces, and bowe low to their Majestys, who rise up.
Que.

Are you the Jovial crew? 'Tis well.

[exeunt all but the Masquers (at ye right.)
Eric.

This caress was proper to her Majesty, for saving us from
being worse handled than if we had been really the Brutes we
resemble.

Jas.

Then how shall we be quit with those dragons, who would
have left us as naked and wounded as the man before the Almanack,
after all our benevolence to 'em?

Ilu.

Let's honourably cashier them by way of prevention, and
address to the Queen before the humour be stale.

Eric.

But how can we become serviceable to her, unless by turning
Ropemakers, for the necks of those cormorants?

Ilu.

Why I'll see the smuglers shall not steal her customs, and
Impose a custome likewise on her, of buying twice so dear as a subject,
As if their Indentures bound 'em to cheat her, for hindring them
from cozening one another.

Erict.

Then I will look that her Tennants shall not by fraudulent

accōpts make her demesnes a burthen to her, and her lands every
year poorer, and her self too, by owning she is forced out of husbandry
to look after those wasters.

Jas.

And I, that she shall not be abused by false musters, in paying
for those who do her not so much service to run away on her side,
nor for such as ought to be excused from flying, because they bought
their places during life.

Eric.

As I hope to 'scape the shambles, yonder come the Basilisks.

[Eric. spys Anti., Pen., and Cel. Appearing.
Jas.

Quick to your Postures!

Ilu.

'Twould be our happyness now to be accounted beasts.

[They cover their faces, and Imitate the noises and postures of ye beasts the[y] represent.
Enter Anti., Penthe., & Celeno (from the Right.)
Anti.

In the Name of wonder, what upstart monsters are here!

Pen.

We'll anatomize 'em alive, but we'll know 'em.

[Pen. lays her hand on her hilt, the Troj. uncover their heads.
Eric.

We only celebrated this feast with an Antimasq.

Ant.

But with such prodigious noise as made the Park a wilderness.

Cel.

Ye counterfeit changlings, ye turncoats, ye two fac'd Neuters.

Ilu.

Surely that is a light fault may be put off with these false
scabberds.

Pen.

But we'll be revenged on ye now for alltogather, since to
butcher ye as ye are cannot be so much as man slaughter.

Alcy.

Let me be their driver to the Tower, and there provide 'em
diet with the beasts of state, agreable to their outsides.

Ant.

Yes, and so turn their Jest into earnest.

[Exeunt Ant., Pen., & Cel. (at the left); Alcy. walkes to the entrance, and takes leave of 'em.
Jas.

For this trick, let us men, by an obstinate frigidity, damn all
Amazons to perpetual barreness, and green sickness:

So whom we cannot tame by violence,
Those we shall master by mere Impotence.

[Alcy. walks back, and drives out Trojans creeping on all four (at the left.)