University of Virginia Library

Actus primus.

Scæna prima.

A place being provided for the Devils Consistory, enter St. Dunstan with his Beads, Book, and Crosier staff, &c.
S. Dunst.
Envy that alwayes waits on Vertu's trayn,
And tears the Graves of quiet sleeping Souls,
Hath brought me, after many hundred years,
To shew my self again upon the earth.
Know then (who list) that I am English born,
My name is Dunston; whilst I lived with men,
Chief Primate of the Holy English Church:
I was begotten in West Saxony:
My Fathers name was Heorston, my Mothers Cinifred.
Endowed with my Merit's legacy,
I flourish'd in the reign of Seven great Kings;
The first was Adelstane, whose Neece Elflida
Malicious tongues reported, I defiled:
Next him came Edmond, then Edred, and Edwin:
And after him reign'd Edgar, a great Prince,
But full of many Crimes which I restrain'd:
Edward his Son, and lastly Egelred.
With all these Kings was I in high esteem,
And kept both them, and all the Land in awe;
And, had I liv'd, the Danes had never boasted
Their then beginning Conquest of this Land;
Yet some accuse me for a Conjurer,
By reason of those many miracles
Which Heaven for holy life endowed me with.
But who so looks into the golden Legend,
(That sacred Register of holy Saints)
Shall find me by the Pope canoniz'd,
And happily the cause of this Report
Might rise by reason of a Vision,
Which I beheld in great King Edgar's dayes,
Being that time Abbot of Glassenbury,
Which (for it was a matter of some worth)
I did make known to few, untill this day:
But now I purpose that the World shall see
How much those Slanderers have wronged me;
Nor will I trouble you with Courts and Kings,
Or drive a feined Battel out of breath;
Or keep a coyle my self upon the Stage;
But think you see me in my secret Cell,
Arm'd with my Tortass, bidding of my Beads.
But on a sudden I'me o'recome with sleep!
If ought ensue, watch you, for Dunston dreams.

He layeth him down to sleep; Lightning and Thunder; the Curtains drawn, on a sudden Pluto, Minos, Æacus, Rhadamantus set in Counsell, before them Malbecco his Ghost guarded with Furies.
Pluto.
You ever dreaded Iudges of black Hell,
Grim Minos, Æacus, and Rhadamant,
Lords of Cocitus, Styx, and Phlegiton,
Prince, of Darkness, Pluto's Ministers,
Know that the greatness of his present Cause
Hath made our self in person set as judge,
To hear the arraignment of Malbecco's Ghost;
Stand forth thou gastly pattern of Despair,
And to this powerfull Synod tell thy tayle,
That we may hear if thou canst justly say
Thou wert not Author of thy own decay.

Malb.
Infernal Iove, great Prince of Tartary,
With humble reverence poor Malbecco speaks
Still trembling with the fatal memory
Of his so late concluded Tragedy.
I was (with thanks to your great bounty) bred
A wealthy Lord, whilst that I liv'd on Earth;
And so might have continued to this day,
Had not that plague of mankind faln on me:
For I (poor man) joyn'd woe unto my name,
By choosing out a Woman for my Wife.
A Wife! a curse ordained for the World.
Fair Hellena! fair she was indeed,
But fouly stain'd with inward wickedness.
I kept her bravely, and I loved her dear;
But that dear love did cost my Life, and all.
To reckon up a thousand of her pranks,
Her pride, her wastfull spending, her unkindness,
Her false dissembling, seeming sanctity,
Her scolding, powting, prating, meddleing,
And twenty hundred more of the same stamp,
Were but to reap an endless Catalogue
Of what the World is plagu'd with every day.
But for the main of that I have to tell,
It chanced thus: Late in a rainy night
A crew of Gallants came unto my House,
And (Will I, Nill I) would forsooth be lodg'd;
I brought them in, and made them all good chear,
(Such as I had in store) and lodg'd them soft:
Amongst them one, ecclepped Paridell,
(The falsest Thief that ever trod on ground)
Rob'd me, and with him stole away my Wife.
I (for I loved her dear) pursu'd the Thief.
And, after many daies in travel spent,
Found her amongst a crew of Satyrs wilde,
Kissing, and colling all the live-long night:
I spake her fair, and pray'd her to return:
But she in scorn commands me to be gone;
And glad I was to fly, to save my life,
But when I backward came unto my House,
I find it spoyled and all my treasure gone.
Desp'rate and mad, I ran I knew not whither,
Calling and crying out on Heaven and Fate,
Till seeing none to pity my distress.
I threw my self down head long on a Rock,
And so concluded all my ills at once.
Now, judge you, Iustice Benchers, if my Wife
Were not the instrument to end my life.

Pluto.
Can it be possible (you Lords of Hell)
Malbecco's tale of Women should be true;
Is Marriage now become so great a Curse,
That Whilome was the comfort of the World?

Minos.
Women, it seems, have lost their native shame,
As no man better may complain than I,
Though not of any whom I made my Wife,
But of my Daughter who procur'd my fall.

Æacus.
'Tis strange what Plaints are brought us every day
Of men made miserable by marriage;
So that amongst a thousand, scarcely ten
Have not some grievous actions 'gainst their Wives.

Rhad.
My Lord, if Rhadamant might counsell you,
Your Grace should send some one into the World,
That might make proof if it be true or no.

Pluto.
And wisely hast thou counselled Rhadamant,
Call in Belphagor to me presently.
One of the Furies goes for Belphagor.
He is the fittest that I know in Hell
To undertake a task of such import,
For he is patient, mild, and pittifull:
Humours but ill agrees with our Kingdom.
Enter Belphagor.
And here he comes; Belphagor, so it is,
We in our awfull Synod have decreed.
(Upon occasions to our selves best known)
That thou from hence shall go into the world,
And take upon thee the shape of a man;
In which estate thou shalt be married:
Choose thee a Wife that best may please thy self,
And live with her a twelve month and a day;
Thou shalt be subject unto humane chance
So far as common wit cannot relieve thee;
Thou shalt of us receive ten thousand pounds,
Sufficient stock to use for thy increase:
But whatsoever happens in that time,
Look not from us for succour or relief;
This shalt thou do, and when the time's expired,
Bring word to us what thou hast seen and done.

Bel.
With all my heart (my Lord) I am content,
So I may have my Servant Akercock
To wait upon me as if he were my man,
That he may witness likewise what is done.

Plu.
We are contented, he shall go with thee

Mi.
But what meantime decrees your Majesty of poor Malbecco?

Plu.
He shall rest with us
Untill Belphagor do return again,
And as he finds so will we give his doom.
Come let us go and set our Spyal forth,
Who for a time must make experiment,
If Hell be not on Earth, as well as here.

Exeunt.
It thunders and lightens; the Devils go forth; Dunston rising, runneth about the Stage, laying about him with his Staff.
Dun.
Sathan avaunt, thou art mans enemy,
Thou shalt not live amongst us so unseen,
So to betray us to the Prince of Darkness:
Sathan avaunt, I do conjure thee hence.
What dream'st thou Dunston? yea I dreamt indeed,
Must then the Devil come into the world?
Such is belike the infernal Kings decree;
Well, be it so, for Dunston is content,
Mark well the process of the Devil's disguise,
Who happily may learn you to be wise.
Women beware, and make your bargains well,
The Devil, to choose a Wife, is come from hell.

Exit.

SCENE 2d.

Enter Morgan Earl of London, Lacy Earl of Kent, with Miles Forrest.
Mor.
My Lord of Kent, your Honor knows my mind,
That ever have, and still do honour you,
Accounting it my Daughter's happiness,
(Amidst her other infelicities)
That you vouchsafe to love her as you do:
How gladly I would grant your Lordships suite,
The Heavens can witness, which with ruthless eares
Have often heard my yet unpittied Plaints;
And could I find some means for her recovery,
None but your self should have her to your Wife,

Lacy.
My Lord of London, now long time it is
Since Lacy first was suiter to your Daughter,
The farirest Honorea, in whose eyes
Honor it self in Love's sweet bosome lyes:
What shall we say, or seem to strive with heaven,
Who speechless sent her first into the world;
In vain it is for us to think to loose
That which by Natures self we see is bound:
Her beauty, with her other vertues joyn'd,
Are gifts sufficient, though she want a tongue;
And some will count it Vertue in a woman
Still to be bound to un-offending Silence;
Though I could wish with half of all my Lands,
That she could speak: but since it may not be,
'Twere vain to imprison Beauty with her speech.

For.
Have you not heard (my Lords) the wondrous fame.
Of holy Dunston, Abbot of Glassenbury,
What miracles he hath atchieved of late,
And how the rood of Dovercott did speak,
Confirming his opinion to be true,
And how the holy Consistory fell.
With all the Monks that were assembled there,
Saving one beam, whereon this Dunston sate,
And other more such miracles as these.
They say he is of such religious life,
That Angels often use to talk with him,
And tell to him the secrets of the Heavens.
No question, if your Honors would but try,
He could procure my Lady for to speak.

Mor.
Believe me Forrest, thou hast well advised,
For I have heard of I to much talk of him.

Lacy.
Is not that Dunston he, who check'd the King
About his privy dealing with the Nun,
And made him to do pennance for the fault?

Mor.
The same is he, for whom I streight will send
Miles Forrest shall in poste to Glassenbury,
And gently, pray the Abbot for my sake
To come to London: sure I hope the Heavens
Have ordain'd Dunston to do Morgan good.

Lacy.
Let us dispatch him thither presently,
For I my self will stay for his return.
And see some end or other ere I go.

Mor.
Come then Lord Lacy, Forrest come away.

Exeunt.

SCENE 3d.

Enter Belphagor attired like a Physician; Akercock his man in a Tawny Coat.
Bel.
Now is Belphagor an incarnate Devil
Come to the earth to seek him out a Dame:
Hell be my speed, and so I hope it will.
In lovely London are we here arrived
Whereas I hear the Earl hath a fair Daughter
So full of vertue, and soft modesty,
That yet she never gave a man foul word.

Ak.
Marry indeed they say she cannot speak.

Bel.
For this cause have I taken this disguise.
And will profess me a Physician,
Come upon purpose for to cure the Lady;
Marry no way shall bind me but her self,
And she I do intend shall be my wife.

Ak.
But Master, tell me one thing by the way,
Do you not mean that I shall marry too?

Bel.
No Akercock, thou shalt be still unwed,
For if: hey be as bad as is reported,
One wife will be enough to tire us both.

Ak.
O then you mean that I shall now and then,
Have, as it were a course at base with her.

Bel.
Nor so, nor so, that's one of Marriage plagues,
Which I must seek to shun amongst the rest,
And live in sweet contentment with my wife,
That when I back again return to hell
All women may be bound to reverence me,
For saving of their Credits as I will.
But who comes here?

Enter Capt. Climon.
Clin.
This needs must tickle Musgrave to the quick,
And stretch his heart-strings farther by an inch,
That Lacy must be married to his Love;
And by that Match my market is near marr'd,
For Mariana, whom I most affect;
But I must cast about by some devise
To help my self and to prevent the Earle.

Bel.
This Fellow fitly comes to meet with me,
Who seems to be acquainted with the Earle;
Good Fortune guide you Sir.

Cli.
As much to you.

Bel.
Might I intreat a favour at your hands?

Cli.
What's that?

Bel.
I am a stranger here in England, Sir,
Brought from my native home upon report,
That the Earle's Daughter wants the use of speech,
I have been practised in such Cures ere now,
And willingly would try my skill on her:
Let me request you so to favour me,
As to direct me to her Father's house.

Cli.
With all my heart, and welcome shall you be
To that good Earle, who mourns his Daughter's want;
But they have for a holy Abbot sent,
Who can (men say) do many miracles,
In hope that he will work this wond'rous cure.

Bel.
What ere he be, I know 'tis past his skill,
Nor any in the world, besides my self,
Did ever sound the depth of that devise.

Enter Musgrave.
Cli.
Musgrave well met; I needs must speak with you.

Musg.
I came to seek you.

Cli.
Tarry you a while.
Shall I intreat you sir to walk before
With this same Gentleman, and overtake you.
Exeunt Bel. Ak.
This is the newes, the Earle of Kent is come,
And in all hast the marriage must be made,
Your Lady weeps, and knows not what to do,
But hopes that you will work some means or other
To stoppe the crosse proceedings of the Earle.

Musg.
Alas poor Clinton, what can Musgrave do?
Unless I should by stealth convey her thence,
On which a thousand dangers do depend.

Cli.
Well (to be brief because I cannot stay)
Thus stands the case, if you will promise me,
To work your Cosen Marian to be mine;
I'le so devise that you shall purchase her,
And therefore tell me if you like the match?

Musg.
With all my heart Sir, yea and thank you too.

Cli.
Then say no more but leave the rest to me,
For I have plotted how it shall be done;
I must go follow yon fair Gentleman,
On whom I build my hopes. Musgrave adue.

Musg.
Clinton farewell, I'le wish thee good success.

Exeunt.

SCENE IV.

Enter Morgan, Lacy, Dunston, Forrest, Honorea, Marian.
Mor.
Thou holy man, to whom the higher Powers.
Have given the gift of Cures beyond conceit;
Welcome thou art unto Earl Morgans house!
The house of sorrow yet, unless by thee
Our joyes may spring anew, which if they do,
Reward and praise shall both attend on thee.

Lacy.
And we will ever reverence thy name,
Making the Chronicles to speak thy praise;
So Honorea may but have her speech.

Dun.
My Lords, you know the hallowed gifts of Tongues,
Comes from the self-same power that gives us breath,
He binds and looseth them at his dispose,
And in his name will Dunston undertake
To work this cure upon fair Honorea,
Hang there my Harp, my solitary muse,
Companion of my Contemplation.
He hangs his Harp on the wall.
And, Lady, kneel with me upon the earth,
That both our Prayers may ascend to Heaven.

They kneel down; then enters Clinton, with Belphagor, terming himself Castiliano, and Akercock as Robin Goodfellow.
Clin.
So shall you do the Lady a good turn,
And bind both him and me to you for ever.

Bel.
I have determin'd what I mean to do.

Clin.
Here be the Earles, and with them is the Fryer,

Bel.
What is he praying?

Cli.
So me thinks he is;
But I'le disturb him by your leave my Lords,
Here is a Stranger from beyond the Seas
Will undertake to cure your Lordships daughter.

Morg.
The holy Abbot is about the Cure.

Bel.
Yea, but my Lord hee'l never finish it.

Mor.
How canst thou tell, what Country-man

Bel.
I am by birth, my Lord, a Spaniard born,
And by descent came of a Noble house,
Though for the love I bare to secret Arts,
I never car'd to seek for vain Estate,
Yet by my skill I have increased my wealth:
My name Castiliano, and my birth
No baser than the best blood of Castecle.
Hearing your Daughter's strange infirmity,
Ioyn'd with such matchless beauty and rare vertue,
I cross'd the Seas on purpose for her good

Dun.
Fond man presuming on thy weaker skill,
That thinkest by Art to over-rule the Heavens:
Thou know'st not what it is thou undertak'st.
No, no, my Lord, your daughter must be cur'd
By fasting, prayer, and religious works;
My self for her will sing a solemn mass,
And give her three sips of the holy Challice,
And turn my Beads with Aves and with Creeds,
And thus, my Lord, your Daughter must be help'd.

Cas.
Zowndes, what a prating keeps the bald-pate Fryer?
My Lord, my Lord, here's Church work for an age!
Tush, I will cure her in a minutes space,
That she shall speak as plain as you or I.

Dunston's Harp sounds on the wall.
For.
Hark, hark my Lord, the holy Abbot's Harp
Sounds by it self so hanging on the wall!

Dun.
Unhallowed man, that scorn'st the sacred read.
Hark how the testimony of my truth
Sounds heavenly musick with an Angel's hand,
To testifie Dunston's integrity,
And prove thy active boast of no effect.

Cas.
Tush Sir, that musick was to welcom me;
The Harp hath got an other Master now,
I warrant you 'twill never tune you more.

Dun.
Who should be Master of my Harp but I?

Cas.
Try then what service I will do for you.

He tryes to play, but cannot.
Dun.
Thou art some Sorcerer, or Nigromancer.
Who by thy Spells dost hold these holy strings.

Cas.
Cannot your Holyness unbind the bonds?
Then I perceive my skill is most of force;
You see, my Lord, the Abbot is but weak,
I am the man must do your Daughter good.

Mor.
What wilt thou ask for to work thy cure?

Cas.
That without which I will not do the Cure;
Her self to be my Wife, for which intent
I came from Spain: then if she shall be mine,
Say so, or keep her else for ever dum.

Mor.
The Earle of Kent, mine honourable friend,
Hath to my Daughter been a Suiter long,
And much it would displease both her and him
To be prevented of their wished love;
Ask what thou wilt beside, and I will grant it.

Cas.
Alass my Lord, what should the crazy Earle
Do with so young a Virgin as your Daughter?
I dare stand to her choyce 'twixt him and me.

Lacy.
And I will pawn mine Earldome with my Love,
And loose them both, if I loose Honorea.

Cas.
A match my Lords, wee'l stand unto the Choyce.

Mor.
I am contented, if the Earle be pleased.

Lacy.
I were not worthy of her did I doubt.

Cas.
Then there it goes, fetch me a bowle of Wine,
This is the match my Lord, before I work,
If she refuse the Earle, she must be mine.

Mor.
It is

One brings him a Cup of Wine, he straynes the juyce of the Herb into it.
Cas.
Now shall your Lordships see a Spaniard's skill.
Who from the plains of new America
Can find out sacred Symples of esteem
To bind, and unbind Nature's strongest Powers:
This Herb, which mortal men have seldome found,
Can I with ease procure me when I list;
And by this juyce shall Honorea speak;
Here Lady, drink the freedom of thy heart,
And may it teach thee long to call me Love.
She drinks.
Now lovely Honorea thou art free,
Let thy Celestial voyce make choyce of me.

Hon.
Base Alien, mercinary Fugitive,
Presumptuous Spaniard, that with shameless pride
Dar'st ask an English Lady for thy Wife.
I scorn, my Slave should honour thee so much,
And for my self, I like my self the worse,
That thou dar'st hope the gaining of my Love.
Go, get thee gone, the shame of my esteem,
And seek some drudge that may be like thy self.
But as for you, good Earle of Kent,
Me thinks your Lordship being of these years
Should be past dreaming of a second Wife.
Fy, fy, fy, my Lord, 'tis lust in doting age;
I will not patronize so foul a sin.
An old man dote on youth! 'tis monstrous;
Go, home go home, and rest your weary head,
'Twere pity such a brow should learn to bud.
And lastly unto you my Lord, and Father,
Your love to me is too much overseen,
That in your care and counsell should devise,
To tye your Daughter's choyce to two such Grooms.
You may elect for me, but I'le dispose
And fit my self far better than both those;
And so I will conclude, you as you please.
Exit Honorea in a chafe.

Rob.
Call you this making of a Woman speak?
I think they all wish she were dumb again.

Cast.
How now my Lord, what are you in a muse?

Lacy.
I would to God her Tongue were tyed again.

Cast.
I marry Sir, but that's an other thing,
The Devil cannot tye a woman's tongue,
I would the Fryer could do that with his Beads.
But 'tis no matter, you my Lord have promis'd,
If she refuse the Earl, she should be mine.

Mor.
Win her, and wear her man with all my heart.

Cast.
Oh! I'le haunt her till I make her stoop,
Come, come my Lord, This was to try her voyce,
Let's in and court her; one of us shall speed.

Rob.
Happy man be his dole that misseth her, say I,

Dunst.
My weaker Senses cannot apprehend
The means this Stranger us'd to make her speak;
There is some secret mystery therein,
Conceal'd from Dunston! which the Heavens reveal,
That I may scourge this bold blaspheming man,
Who holds religious works of little worth.

Exeunt, manet Clinton and Forrest.
For.
Now Captain Clinton what think you of me?

Clin.
My thinks, as yet, the Iest holds pretty
The one hath taught her to deny himself,
The other woo'd so long he cannot speed.

For.
This Newes will please young Musgrave.

Clin.
Marry will it,
And I will hasten to acquaint him with them,
Come let's away.

Exeunt.
Enter Parson Shorthouse, and Grim the Collier.
Grim.

No, Mr. Parson, grief hath made my
heart and me a pair of Ballance, as heavy as lead;
every night I dream I am a town top, and that I
am whipt up and down with the scourge-stick of
Love, and the mettell of Affection; and when I
work, I find my self stark naked and as cold
as a stone: now judge how I am tumbled
and tost; poor Grim the Collier hath wisht himself
burnt up amongst his Coles.

Par. shorth.
O Grim be wise dream not of Love
Thy sorrows cannot Fancy move,
If Iug love thee, love her again;
If not thy kindness then refrain.

Grim.

I am not skill'd in your rhyming Mr.
Parson; but that which is bred in the Flesh will
never out of the Bone; I have seen as much as
another man, my travel should teach me there's
never a day in the week but I carry Coles from
Croydon to London; and now when I rise in the
morning to harnise my Horses, and load my
Cart, methinks I have a Tayler sowing stitches
in my Heart; when I am driving my Cart, my
Heart that wanders one way my Eyes they leere
another, my Feet they lead me I know not whither,
but now and then into a Slow over head
and eares; so that poor Grim that before was over
shooes in Love, is now over head and eares in
Durt and Mire.

Par. Shor.
Well Grim my counsell shall suffice
To help thee, but in any wise
Be rul'd by me, and thou shall see,
As thou lovest her, she shall love thee.

Grim.

A lar'd! but do you think that will be
so, I should laugh till I tickle to see that day, and
forswear sleep all the next night after; Oh Master
Parson, I am so haltred in affection, that I
may tell you in secret, here's no body else hears
me, I take no care how I fill my Sacks; every
time I come to London my Coles are found faulty;
I have been five times pilfered, my Coles
given to the Poor, and my Sacks burnt before
my face. It were a shame to speak this, but
Truth will come to light; O Ione! thou hast
thrown the Cole-dust of thy love into my eyes
and stricken me quite blind.

Par. Shorth.
Now afore God the Collier chooseth well;
For beauty, Iug, doth bear away the bell:
And I love her; then Collier thou must miss,
For Parson Shorthose vows, Iug shall be his.
But hear'st thou Grim, I have that in my head,
To plot that how thou shalt the Maiden wed.

Grim.

But are you sure you have that in your
head? O for a hammer to knock that out; one
blow at your Pate would lay all open to me, and
make me as wise as you.

Shorth.
Think'st thou I do so often look
For nothing on my learned book,
As that I cannot work the feat;
I warrant I'le the Miller cheat,
And make Iug thine, in spite of him;
Will this content thee neighbour Grim.

Grim.

Content me! Ay and so highly, that if
you do this feat for me, you hire me to you as
one hireth an Oxe or an Ass to use to ride, to
spur, or any thing; yours to demand, miserable
Grim! Ione's Handmaid for so I have called
my self ever since last May day, when she gave
me her hand to kiss.

Shorth.
Well, let's away, and in all hast,
About it e're the day be past;
And ever after, if thou hast her,
Acknowledge me to be thy Master.

Grim.

I woose Sir; Come let's away, the best
drink in Croydon's yours, I have it for you, even
a dozen of Iugs to Iug's health.

Ex. both.
Enter Earl Morgan, Earl Lacy, Mariana.
Morg.
My Lord of Kent, the latter motion
Doth bind me to you in a higher degree,
Than all those many favours gone before;
And now the issue of my help relyes
Only on Mariana's gentleness,
Who, if she will in such a common good
Put to her helping hand the Match is made.

Lacy.
You need not make a doubt of Marian,
Whose love unto her Lady were enough;
Besides her Cozens and her own censent,
To move her to a greater thing than this.

Mary.
My Lords, if ought there be in Marian,
That may or pleasure you, or profit her,
Ye shall not need to doubt of my consent.

Mor.
Gramercy Marian, and indeed the thing
Is, in it self, a matter of no moment:
If it be weighed aright; and therefore this,
Thou know'st the bargain 'twixt me and the Doctor,
Concerning Marriage with my only Daughter,
Whom I determin'd that my Lord of Kent
Should have espoused; but I see her mind
Is only set upon thy Cozin Musgrave,
And in her Marriage to use constraint
Were bootless; therefore thus we have devised,
Lord Lacy is content to loose his part,
And to resign his Title to young Musgrave.
But now the Doctor will not yield his right;
Thus we determin to begin his hopes:
Thou shalt this night be brought unto his bed,
Instead of her, and he shall marry thee,
Musgrave shall have my Daughter, She her will,
And so shall all things sort to our content.

Lacy.
And this thou shalt be sure of Marian,
The Doctor's wealth will keep thee royally;
Besides, thou shalt be ever near thy Friends,
That will not see thee wrong'd by any man.
Say then wilt thou resove to marry him?

Mar.
My Lords, you know I am but young,
The Doctor's fit for one of riper years,
Yet in regard of Honorea's good,
My Cozins profit, and all your contents,
I yield my self to be the Doctor's wife.

Morg.
'Tis kindly spoken, gentle Marian,
Enter Castiliano.
But here the Doctor comes.

Lacy.
Then I'le away,
Lest he suspect ought by my being here.

Morg.
Do, and let me alone to close with him.

Cast.
May he ne're speak that makes a VVoman speak,
She talks now, sure for all the time that's past,
Her Tongue is like a Scare-crow in a tree,
That clatters still with every puff of winde;
I have so haunted her from place to place,
About the hall from thence into the parler,
Up to the Chamber, down into the Garden.
And still she railes, and chafes, and scoulds,
As if it were the Sessions day in hell,
Yet will I haunt her with an open mouth.
And never leave her till I force her love me.

Morg.
Now, Master Doctor, what a match or no.

Cast.
A match, quoth you, I think the Devil himself
Cannot match her, for if he could, I should.

Morg.
Well, be content, 'tis I must work the mean,
To make her yield whether she will or no:
My Lord of Kent is gone hence in a chafe,
And now I purpose that she shall be yours,
Yet to her self unknown, for she shall think
That Musgrave is the man, but it shall be you;
Seem you still discontented and no more:
Go Mariana call thy Mistriss hither,
Now when she comes, dissemble what you know,
And go away, as if you car'd not for her,
So will she be the sooner brought unto't.

Exit Mariana.
Castil.
My Lord, I thank you for your honest care,
And, as I may, will study to requite it.
Enter Honorea and Mariana.
But here your Daughter comes: No, no, my Lord.
'Tis not for favour I regard nor her,
Your Promise 'tis I challenge, which I'le have;
It was my Bargain No man else should have her,
Not that I love her, but I'le not bewrong'd
By any one, my Lord, and so I leave you.
Exit Castil.

Morg.
He's passing cunning to deceive himself,
But all the better for the after sport.

Hon.
Sir did you send for me.

Morg.
Honorea, for thee.
And this it is, how ere unworthily
I have bestowed my love so long upon thee,
That wilt so manifestly contradict me;
Yet, that thou may'st perceive how I esteem thee,
I make thy self he Guardian of thy Love,
That thine own fancy may make choyce for thee;
I have perswaded with my Lord of Kent,
To leave to love thee. Now the peevish Doctor
Swears, that his int'rest he will ne're resign;
Therefore we must by Pollicy deceive him,
He shall suppose he lyeth this night with thee,
But Mariana shall supply thy room,
And thou with Musgrave in another Chamber,
Shall secretly be lodg'd; when this is done,
Twill be too late to call that back again,
So shalt thou have thy mind, and he a wife.

Hon.
But wilt thou, Mariana yield to this.

Mar.
For your sake, Lady I will undertake it.

Hon.
Gramercy Marian, and my noble Father.
Now I acknowledge that indeed you love me.

Morg.
Well, no more words, but be you both prepar'd,
The night draweth on, and I have sent in secret
For Musgrave, that he may be brought unseen,
To hide Suspition from their jealous eyes.

Hon.
I warrant you, come Marian, let us go.

Exeunt Hon. & Mar.
Morg.
And then, my Lord of Kent, shall be my Sonne,
Should! go wed my Daughter to a Boy?
No, no, young Girles must have their Wills restrain'd,
For if the Rule be theirs, all runnes to nought.

Exit.
Enter Clack the Miller, with Ione.
Clack.

Be not Iug, as a man would say, finer
than Five pence, or that it you are more proud
than a Peacock that is, to seem to scorn to call
in at Clacks mill as you pass over the bridge,
there be as good Wenches as you be glad to pay
me toll.

Ione.

Like enough Clack I had as live they as I,
and a great deal rather too; you that take toll of
so many Maids, shall never toule me after you:
Oh God, what a dangerous thing 'tis but to peep
once into Love! I was never so haunted with

my harvest-work as I am with Love's passions.

Clack.

I but Ione, bear old Proverbs in your
memory, soft and fair; now sir, if you make too
much hast to fall foul, I and that upon a foul one
too, there fades the flower of all Croydon, tell me
but this, is not Clack the Miller as good a name
as Grim the Collier?

Ione.
Alass, I know no difference in names;
To make a Maid, or choose, or to refuse.

Clack.

You were best to say, No, nor in men
nother. Well, I'le be sworn I have; but I have no
reason to tell you so much, that care so little for
me; yet hark:

Clack speaketh in her ear: enter Grim, Parson Shorthose.
Grim.

O Mr. Parson, there he stands like a
Scare-crow to drive me away from her, that
sticks as close to my heart, as my shirt to my
back, or my hose to my heel; O Mr. Parson
Shorthose, Grim is but a man as another man is,
Colliers have but lives as other men have; all's
gone, if she go from me, Grim is no body without
her, my heart is in my mouth, my mouth is
in my hand, my hand threatens vengeance against
the Miller, as it were a Beadle with a whip
in his hand, triumphing o're a Beggar's back.

Short.
Be silent Grim, stand close and see,
So shall we know how all things be.

Grim.
In wisedom I am appeas'd, but in anger
I broyle as it were a rasher upon the coles.

Ione.
I'le not despise the Trades ye either have,
Yet Grim the Collier may, if he be wise,
Live even as merry as the day is long;
For, in my judgement, in his mean estate
Consists as much content, as in more wealth.

Grim.

O Mr. Parson, write down this sweet
saying of her in Grim's commendations; she
hath made my heart leap like a hobby horse; O
Ione this speech of thine will I carry with me even
to my grave.

Short.

Be silent then.

Clack.

Well, then I perceive you mean to lead
your life in a Colepit, like one of the Devil's
drudges, and have your face look like the outside
of an old iron pot, or a blacking box.

Grim.

He calleth my Trade into question, I
cannot forbear him.

Short.

Nay then you spoyle all neighbour
Grim, I warrant you she will answer him.

Ione.
What I intend I am not bound to shew
To thee, nor any other but my Mother,
To whom in duty I submit my self;
Yet this I tell thee, though my birth be mean,
My honest vertuous life shall help to mend it,
And if I marry any in all this life,
He shall say boldly he hath an honest wife.

Grim.

O that 'twere my fortune to light upon
her, on that Condition my Horses were dead,
and my Cart broken, and I bound to carry Coles
as long as I live from Croydon to London on my
bare shoulders; Mr. Parson the Flesh is frayle, he
shall tempt her no longer; she is but weak, and
he is the stronger; I'le upon him. Miller thou
art my neighbour, and therein charity hold my
hands; but me thinks you having a water-gapp
of your own, you may do as other Millers do,
grind your grist at home, knock your coggs into
your own Mill, you shall not cogg with her she
doth discry thee, and I defie thee to a mortal

fight, and so, Miller, good night. And now
sweet Ione, be it openly known thou art my own.

Clack.

Well Grim, since thou art so Collier-like
chollerick.

Grim.

Miller, I will not be mealy mouth'd.

Clack.

I'le give thee the fewer words now, be
cause the next time we meet I'le pay thee all in
dry blowes, carry Coles at a Collier's hands!
and I do let my Mill be drown'd up in water, and
I hang'd in the roof.

Ione.

And if thou lovest me Grim, forbear him now.

Grim.

If I love thee! dost thou doubt of that?
nay ripp me up, and look into my heart, and
thou shalt see thy own face pictur'd there as
plainly as in the proudest Looking glass in all
Croydon; if I love thee! then tears gush out, and
shew my love.

Clack.

What Mr. Parson are you there? you
remember you promis'd to win Ione for my own
wearing?

Short.
I warrant thee Clack; but now be gone,
Leave me to work that here alone.

Clack.

Well, farewell Mr. Shorthose, be true
when you are trusted,

Ex. Clack.

Short,
She shall be neither his nor thine,
For I intend to make her mine,

Grim.

If I love thee Ione; those very words
are a purgation to me, you shall see desparation
in my face, and death marching in my very
countenance; if I love!

Short.
What Grim hath grief drown'd thee at last?
Are all thy joyes over cast?
Is Ione in place, and thou so sad,
Her presence, man, should make thee glad.

Ione.
Good Master Parson, 'twere no fault of mine,
He takes occasion where there none was given;
I will not blab unto the World, my love
I owe to him, and shall do whilst I live.

Grim.

Well Ione, without all If's or Ands, E-persese,
A-persese, or Tittle-tattles in the
world, I do love thee, and so much, that in thy
absence I cry when I see thee, and rejoyce with
my very heart when I cannot behold thee.

Short.
No doubt, no doubt thou lovest her well.
But listen now to what I tell;
Since ye are both so well agreed,
I wish you make more hast and speed,
To morrow is Holy-rood day,
When all a nutting take their way,
Within the Wood a Close doth stand,
Incompast round on either hand,
With Trees and Bushes, there will I
Dispatch your marriage presently.

Grim.

O Master Parson, your devising Fate
hath blest me forever; Ione we'le have that so;
the shorter the work, the sweeter.

Iane.
And if my Mother give but her consent,
My absence shall in no case hinder it.

Grim.

Shee! quotha, she is mine already, we'le
to her presently. Mr. Parson; 'tis a match;
we'le meet you: now Miller do I go beyond you,
I have stript him of the Wench, as a Cook would
strip an Eele out of her skin, or a Pudding out of
the Case thereof; now I talk of a Pudding, O
'tis my only food, I am old dog at it; Come Ione,
let's away, I'le pudding you.

Short.
Well, if my Fortune luckily ensue,
As you shall cozen him, I'le cozen you.

Exeunt.
Enter Castiliano at one door with Mariana, Earle Lacy, at an other door with Honorea.
Cast.
Come lovely Honorea, bright as day,
As came Alomena from her sacred bed
With Iupiter, shapt like Amphitrio:
So show my Love, my Love! whom have we here?

Hon.
Sweet Musgrave; out alass I am betray'd!

Cast.
Thou art my Love?

Lacy.
No, mine?

Hon.
Nor yours, nor yours:
But Musgrave's Love; O Musgrave where art thou?

Lacy.
Be not displeas'd my Dear, give me thy hand.

Hon.
My hand, false Earle, nor hand not heart of mine;
Could'st thou thus cunningly deceive my hopes,
And could my Father give consent thereto,
Well, neither he nor thou shalt force my Love.

Cast.
'Tis I fair Honorea am thy Love,
Forsake the worthless Earle, give me thy hand.

Mari.
Whose hand would you have sir? this hand is mine,
And mine is yours, then keep you to your own.

Mari.
Yet are you mine, sir, and I mean to keep you;
What, do you think to shake me off so soon?
No gentle Husband, now it is too late;
You should have look'd before you came to bed.

Enter Rob. Goodf. with his Masters Gown.
Rob.
Many good morrows to my gentle Master,
And my new Mistriss. God give you both joy;
What say you to your Gown sir, this cold morning?

Cast.
Robin I am undone, and cast away.
How Master, cast away upon a Wife!

Cast.
Yea Robin cast away upon a Wife.

Rob.
Cast her away then Master; can you not?

Mar.
No sir he cannot, nor he shall not do it.

Rob.
Why, how know you? I am sure you are not she.

Mar.
Yes sir, I am your Mistriss as it falls.

Rob.
As it falls! quoth ye, marry a foul fall is it.

Mar.
Base Rascal, dost thou say that I am foul?

Rob.
No, 'twas foul play for him to fall upon you.

Mar.
How know you that he fell, were you so nigh.

She giveth Robin a box on the eare.
Rob.
Mass it should seem 'twas he that fell if any.
For you me thinks are of a mounting natures
What, at my Eares at first! a good beginning.

Lacy.
My dear Delight, why dost thou stain thy Cheeks?
Those rosie Beds with this unseemly dew;
Shake off those Tears that now untimely fall,
And smile on me, that am thy Summers joy.

Hon.
Hapless am I to loose so sweet a prison,
Thus to obtain a weary liberty;
Happy had I been so to have remain'd,
Of which estate I ne're should have complain'd.

Rob.

Whoop whoo! more Marriages! and all
of a sort; happy are they, I see, that live without
them; if this be the beginning, what will be
the ending?

Enter to them Earle Morg. and Dunst.
Mor.
Look Dunston where they be, displeas'd no doubt,
Try if thou canst work reconciliation.

Cast.
My Lord, I challenge you of breach of promise,
And claim your Daughter here to be my wife.

Lacy.
Your claim is nought, sir, she is mine already.

Hon.
Your claim is nought Sir, I am none of yours.

Mar.
Your claim is here Sir, Marian is yours.
What Husband, newly married, and inconstant!
'Greed we so well together all this night,
And must we now fall out? for shame, for shame.
A man of your years, and be so unstayed!
Come, come away, there may no other be,
I will have you, therefore you shall have me.

Rob.
This is the bravest Country in the world,
Where men get wives whether they will or no;
I how e're long some Wench will challenge me.

Cast.
Oh! is not this a goodly consequence,
I must have her, because she will have me?

Dunston.
Ladies and Gentlemen, here Dunston speak:
Marriage, no doubt, is ordain'd by Providence,
Is sacred, not to be, by vain affect,
Turn'd to the idle humours of mens brains;
Besides, for you my Ladie Honorea,
Your dutie binds you to obey your Father,
Who better knows what fits you than your self;
And 'twere, in you, great folly to neglect
The Earle's great love, whereof you are unworthy,
Should you but seem offended with the match;
Therefore submit your self, to make amends;
For 'tis your fault, so may you all be friends.

Morg.
And Daughter, you must think what I have done,
Was for your good, to wed you to the Earle,
Who will maintain and love you royally:
For what had Musgrave but his idle shape?
A shadow to the substance you must build on.

Rob.
She will build substances on him I trow,
Who keeps a Shrew against her will, had better let her go.

Mar.
Madam conceal your grief, and seem content,
For, as it is, you must be rul'd perforce;
Dissemble till convenient time may serve
To think on this dispite and Musgrave's love.

Lacy.
Tell me my Dear, will thou at length be pleas'd.

Hon.
As good be pleas'd, my Lord, as not be eas'd;
Yet though my former love did move me much,
Think not amiss, the same love may be yours.

Cast.
What! is't a Match? nay then since you agree,
I cannot mend my self, for ought I see;
And therefore, 'tis no good to be content
Come Lady, 'tis your lot to be my Dame.
Lording adieu, God send ye all good speed;
Some have their Wives for pleasure, some for need.

Lacy.
Adieu Castiliano we are friends?

Cast.
Yes, yes, my Lord, there is no remedy.

Rob.
No remedy, my Masters for a Wife?
A note for young beginners, mark it well.

Exeunt all.
Enter Forrest, Capt. Clinton, Harvey.
For.
Now Gallants what imagine you of this,
Our noses are all flirt; for Mariana,
The Spanish Doctor hath her to his wife;
And Musgraves hopes are dead for Honorea,
For she is married to the Earle of Kent,
'Twill be good sport to see them when they rise,
If so they be not gotten up already?

Clin.
I say the Devil go with them all for me,
The Spanish Doctor marry Marian!
I think that Slave was born to cross me still;
Had it not been last day before the Earle,
Vpon my Conscience I had crack'd his Crown,
When first he ask'd the Lady for his Wife;
Now hath he got her too, whom I desir'd.
Why, he'le away with her e're long to Spain,
And keep her there to dispossess our hopes.

For.
No, I can comfort ye for that suppose;
For yesterday he hir'd a dwelling house;
And here he means to tarry all this year,
So long at least, what e're he doth hereafter.

Clin.
A sudden plot-form comes into my minde,
And this it is, Miles Forrest, thou and I
Are partly well acquainted with the Doctor.
Ralph Harvey shall along with us to him,
Him we'le prefer for his Apothecary:
Now, sir, when Ralph and he are once acquainted,
His wife may often come unto his House,
Either to see his Garden, or such like;
For doubt not Women will have means enough
If they be willing, as I hope she will;
There may we meet her, and let each one plead,
He that speeds best, why let him carry it.

For.
I needs must laugh, to think how all we three,
In the contriving of this feat, agree;
But having got her, every man will strive,
How each may other of her love deprive.

Clin.
Tut, Forrest, Love admits these friendly strifes;
But say, How like you of my late devise?

For.
Surpassing well, but let's about it streight,
Lest he, before our comming be provided.

Clin.
Agreed.

Exeunt.
Enter Musgrave and Mariana.
Musg.
Tush Cozen, tell not me; but this devise
Was long ago concluded 'twixt you two,
Which divers reasons move me to imagine;
And therefore these are toyes to blind my eyes,
To make me think she only loved me,
And yet is married to another man.

Mar.
Why Cozen Musgrave, are your eyes so blinde,
You cannot see the truth of that report;
Did you not know my Lord was alwaies bent,
Whatever came, to wed her to the Earle:
And have you not, besides, heard the devise
He us'd to marry her against her will,
Betray'd, poor Soul, unto Earle Lacye's bed,
She thought she held young Musgrave in her armes.
Her morning tears might testifie her thoughts;
Yet thou shalt see she loves thee more than him,
And thou shalt taste the sweets of her delights;
Mean time my House shall be thy mansion,
And thy abode, for thither will she come;
Vse thou that opportunity, and try
Whether she loved thee, or did but dissemble.

Musg.
If she continue kind to me hereafter
I shall imagine well of her and you.

Ent. Cast.
Cast.
Now Dame, in talk, what Gentleman is this?

Mar.
My Cozen Musgrave, Husband, comes to see you.

Cast.
Musgrave! now on my Faith heartily welcome:
Give me thy hand, my Cozen, and my Friend,
My Partner in the loss of Honorea,
We two must needs be Friends, our Fortune's like:
Marry, yet I am richer by a Shrew.

Marian.
'Tis better be a Shrew, sir, then a Sheep;
You have no cause I hope yet to complain.

Cast.
No Dame, for yet you know 'tis honey moone;
What, we have scarcely setled our acquaintance.

Musg.
I doubt not, Cozen, but ye shall agree;
For she is mil'd enough if she be pleas'd.

Cast.
So is the Devil, they say, yea Cozen, yea,
My Dear and I, I doubt not, shall agree.

Enter Robin.
Rob.

Sir, here be two or three Gentlemen at
the door would gladly speak a word with your
Worship.

Enter Clinton, Forrest, Harvey.
They need no bidding me thinks, they can come alone.

Clin.
God save you Seignior Castiliano.

Cast.
O Captain Comesta, Welcom all my friends.

For.
Sir, we are come to bid God give you joy,
And see your House.

Mar.
Welcome Gentlemen:
T'is kindly done to come to see us here.

Ro.
This kindness makes me fear my Master's head;
Such hot-spurs must have game; how e're they get it.

Clin.
We have a suite to you, Castiliano.

Cast.
What is it, Sir, if it lyes in me, 'tis done.

Clin.
Nay, but a trifle Sir, and that is
This same young man, by trade Apothecary,
Is willing to retein unto your Cures.

Castil.
Marry with all my heart and welcome too.
What may I call your name my honest friend?

Har.
Ralph Harvey Sir, your neighbour here hard by,
The Goulden Lyon is my dwelling place,
Where what you please shall be with care, perform'd.

Cast.
Gramercies Harvey; welcome all my Friends,
Let's in and hand sell our new mansion house
With a carousing round of Spanish wine.
Come Cozen Musgrave, you shall be my Guest,
My Dame, I trow, will welcome you her self.

Marian.
No Boy, Lord Lacy's wife shall welcome thee.

Rob.
So now the game begins, here's some Cheer toward;
I must be Skinker then, let me alone;
They all shall want e're Robin shall have none.

Exeunt all but Clin. & Harv.
Clin.
Sirra, Ralph Harvey, now the entry is made,
Thou only hast access without suspect,
Be not forgetfull of thy Agent here,
Remember Clinton was the man that did it.

Har.
Why Captain, now you talk in jealousie.
Do not misconster my true meaning heart

Clinton.
Ralph, I believe thee, and rely on thee,
Do not too long absent thee from the Doctor;
Go in, carowse, and taynt his Spanish brayne,
I'le follow and my Marian's health maintain.

Har.
Captain, you well advise me, I'le go in,
And for my self, my love-suites I'le begin.

Exeunt.