University of Virginia Library

The first Scene

Enter Seueritie and his wife Indulgence & there sonne wit/
Seueritie
My sonne Draue neare giue eare to me
and marke the cause aright
for wc h I call the to this place
lett all thy whole Delight
be still in seruing god aright
& trading vertues trace
& labour learning for to gett
whilste thou hast time & space
I now haue brought the on the way
the thing forto attaine
wc h sonne if thou mightst hap to hit
wilturne vnto thy gaine
thow knowest how chargiable athing
thy learning is to me
thou knowest also the care I take
for to prouide for the
& now since that thyne age drawe ones
to natures riper state
my purpose is and full intent
to find for the amate
wt h whome thou mayest Dispend [&] the rest
of this thy life to come
& Ioye as I thy father haue
wt h this thy mother Done

Indulgence
In deed good husband that were good
we haue no more but he
my hart my thinkes wold be at rest
him matched for to see
but yet my deare seueritie
be headfull for yor [selfe] life
that she be able for to liue
that ye shall take to wyfe/

Seueritie
Well as for that I shall for se
for why I knowe rite well
that she whome I doe meane is rich
& highly doth Excell
wherefore sonne witt marke well my tale
Dame wisdome is the wight
whome you shall laboure to espouse
wt h all yor maine & might
& if that she will be yor wyfe
looke what I leaue be hind
you shall possesse it full & whole
according vnto kind
but if you find some worser haunt
& hap to rune by rote
I promise the before these folke
thoust neuer cost me grote/

Witt
deare father for yor graue aduice
right humble thainkes I giue
Entending to obay yor charge
so long as I shall liue
now if that witt with wisdome may
be linked fast in loue
then witt shall think him selfe
right blest
of god that sites aboue

Indulgence
well said good witt & hold the there
I tell the this before
indulgence when they maried art
hath buttur pence in store

Seueritie
Such pampring motheres doe more harme
then ere thay can doe good

Indulgence
If you had felt the paine we feel
you then wold change yor mood

Seueritie
you showe that you the mother are
of this the outward man
& not of mine for if you ware
you wold be carfull then
to giue him counsell how to vse
him selfe for to aspire
to wisdomes frendshipes & her looue
the wc h we doe desire/

Indulgence
Alas good sir why harken wit
what counsell I can giue
when as thou commest to wisdoms house
then mayest thou it appreue
take heade that thou art nete & fine
& go straight bolt vppright
& cast a chearfull looke on her
smilling at the first sight
& when thou commest to talke wt h her
for gett not for to praise
her house her selfe & all her things
& still be glad to please
be diligent to doe for her
be pleasant in her sight
say as she sayeth a«ll» thought that she
doe say the crowe is white
& if she haue ainde to ought
all thought it cost red gould
prouide it for her & thou mayest be
more welcome & more bolde

Seueritie
Se se what counsell you can giue
you shoue yor nature plaine
this counsell liketh wit right well
& maketh him al to faine
but sirra if thou list to thriue
marke well what I shall say
that wisdome may become yor wife
this is the redy waye
applie yor booke & still beware
of Idlenes I say
for he aenimy hath bine
to vertue many a day
be weare of ircksomnis I say
wc h is amonstor fell
& neare to lady wisdomees house
Doth alwayes vse to dwell
for he will haue afling at you
& so will Idlenes
therefore beware of these to foes
& god will sure you blesse

Wit
As dutie doth requier in me
I thaink you humbly
for these yor ffatherly preceptes
& purpose earnestly
for to obserue that you command
& these my foes to watches
least they perhapes ere I beware
me in there snares shuld catch

Indulgence
Well yet before the goest hold heare
my blessing in a cloute
well fare the mother at a neede
stand to thy tackling stout

Wit
Mother I thaink you hartily
& you father likwise
& both yor blessinges heare I craue
in this my enterprise

bothe
God blese the wit our sonne
& send the good successe

[Exeunt Seueritie & indulgence]
Wit
I thaink you both & pray to god
to send to you no lesse

Exeunt Seueritie & indulgence/
Wit
God grant this my purpose may
come vnto good effect/
well now I must a boute this geare
I must it not forgett/

Exit

The second scene

Enter Idlenes [&] the vice

A sirra my masters how fare you at this blessed day
what I wen all this company are come to se a play
what lokest the goodfellow didest the nere
se man before
here is a gasing I am the best man in
the compony when there is no more
as for my properties I am sure you
knowe them of old
I can Eate tell I sweate & worke
tell I am a cold
I am allwayes troubled wt h the litherlurdēn
I loue so to liger
I am so lasy the mosse groweth an
inch thick on the top of my finger
But if you list to knowe my name
I wis I am to well knowen to so
me men
my name is Idlenes the flower
of the frying pan
my mother had ij whelpes at one litter
both borne in lent
so we ware both put into a Mussellbote
& came saling in a sowees yeare ouer sea
into kent
my brother ercsomnies & I catch the doge
being disposed to make mery
we gott vs both doune to harlowe bery
but what is that to the purpose
perhapes you wold knowe
giue me leaue but alittell & I will
you showe
my name is Idelnees as I tould you before
& my mother Ignorance sent me hether
I pray the sirra what more
marry my masteres she sent me the
counterfait crainke for to play
& to leade witt Seuerities sone owt
of the waye
he should mock a marrige wt h wisdome
in all hast as thay talke
but stay thare a while soft fier makees swet malt
I must befirme to bring him out of his
broune stodie on this fashin
I will turne my name from Idlenes
to honest recreation
and then I willl bring him to be mistris
wantonnes[s] man
and afaith then he is in for a berd get
out how he can
but soft yet my masteres who is with in
open the dore & pull out the pine

Wantones
entreth and sayeth
what dol I say open the dore who
is in the streate
what m̄ Idlenes lay a straw vnder
yor feete
I pray you and one may aske you
what wind brought you hether

[Idelnes]
A littell wind I warrent you [I am]
[OMITTED]lite a[OMITTED]er
But harke the

wantonis
what it is not so will he come indeade

Idelnes
Nay if I say the word thou mayest beleue
as thy creed
but when he comes you must be curtious
I tell you
and you shall find him as gentell as a
faulcon
euery fooles fellowe
what me thinkes you are wt h Child

wantonnes
Nay my belly doth swell wt h Eating
of egges

Idlenes
Nay by S Anne I am a fraid it is a
timpany wt h two leggees
Away get the in

Exit
Enter wit
My ffather he hath chargded me
the thing to take in hand
wc h seames to me to be so hard
it cannot well be scand/
for I haue toyled in my booke
where wisdome much is praysed
But she is so hard to find that I am nothing eased
I wold I had bin set to blowe
or to some other trade
& then I might some leasure find
& better shift haue made
but nowe I swinke & sweate in vaine
my labour hath no End
& moping in my study still
my youthfull yeares I spend
wold god that I might hap to hit
vpon some good resort
some pleasant pastime forto find
& vse some better sporte

Idlenes
Mary no better: I am euen as fitt
for that purpose as a rope for a theefe
and you will be lusty cry hay amongst
knaues I am the cheefe

witt
What good fellow art thou what is
thy name

Idlenes
In faith I am Ipse he euen the
very same
aman of greate estimation in mine
owne cuntry
I was neuer staind but once
faling out of my mothers plumtre

wit
Thou art a mery fellowe & wise
& if thou kepe thy selfe warme

Idlenes
In faith I haue a mother wit
but I think no harme

Wit
I pray the what is thy name
to me it declare

Idlenes
nay I am no nigard of my name
for that I will not spare
ha by the masse I could haue told
you euen now
what a short brained villian am I
I am as wise as my mothers sowe
I pray you sur what is my name
cannot you tell
is there any here that knowes where
my godfather doth dwell
gentellmen if you will tarry while I
goe luck
I am sure my name is in the Churc«h» booke

Wit
I prethy come of & tell me thy name wt h redyni«s»

Idlenes
faith if you will neades knowe my name is Idelnes

wit
Mary fie one the knaue I nead not
thy compony

Idlenes
what because I spoke in iest will you take
it so angerly
for my name is honest recreation
I let you well to witt
there is not in all the world
acompanion for you more fitt

wit
And if thy name be honest recreation
thou art as welcome as any in this
laund

Idlenes
yea mary is it

wit
why then giue me thy hand

Idlenes
In faith I thaink you you are come
of a gentell birth
and therefore I will bring you acquainted
wt h a gentellwoman called modest mirth

Wit
yea mary wt h all my hart & god haue mercy to

Idlenes
why then come a way come lett vs goe
how god be heare

wantonis
what master honest recreation I pray
you Drawe neare

Idlenes
Nay I pray you come hether come I
pray ye

wantonis
I come

Idlenes
Nay but in any wise hide yor belly

wantonis
It is achilde of yor getting

Idlenes
I it hath fatheres at large but here
comes m̄ witt that is like to bere
all the charge
gentellman here is the gentellwoman
kisse her I say I am a horson els
If I had knowe you wold not
a kist her
I wold haue kist her my selfe

Wit
Gentellwoman this shalbe to desier you
of more acquaintance

Wantonnos
Sir a ought i may pleasuer you i will giue
a tendenid to haue naney suters my
lot dooth be fall but yet me think
i lyk you best of all

idlenes
yea she might haue had maney
men of knauery and of stellth

Wontanes
what saist thou

idlnes
mary you might haue had many men
of brauery and wellth but yet
me thinkes ther canot be a mach mor fit
then be twen mistres modst mirth
and you master wite

Wontanes
that is well sayed

Idlnes
yea and that will be a redy carage
to the [OMITTED] rop

wontanes
what sayest thou

[idlenes] Idelnis
that will be a spety marige i hope

wontones
by my trothe I am so wery imoust needs sit down
my logges will not houlld mee

witt
Thin will I sit Downe by you if I may
be so bould

Idlenis
heare is loue sir reuerence this geare is
euen fitt
oh here is a hed hath a counting house
full of witt

Wit
I am sure you are cuninge in musick
and therefore if you please sing vs a
songe

wantinis
That will I if it were for yor ease
Here shall wantonis sing this song to the tune of attend the goe playe the and hauing sung him a sleepe vpon her lappe let him snort then let her set a fooles bable on his hed and colling his face: and Idlenis shall steale a way his purse from him and goe his wayes/
The song///

Enter good nurture speaking this
I meruell whete my schollard wit
is now of late become
I feare least wt h il compony
he happen for to rune
for I good nurture commonly
among all men am counted
but witt by this his straing so
I feare hath me renounced
Seueritie his father sure
is graue & wise wt h all
but yet his motheres pampring
will bring his sonne to thrall
Here he stayeth stumbling at wit as he lyeth a sleep
why how now how what wight is this
on home we now haue hit
softe let me se this same is he
ye truly this is wit[[illeg.]]
Here he awaketh him
what wit I say arise for shame
o god where hast thou bin
the company made the a foole
that thou of late wast in

here he riseth rubbing his eyes and saying
o arrant strumpet that she waes that raid
me in this case

good nurture
Nay rather thou art much to blame
to be wt h such in place
Here he washeth his face and taketh of the bable
Come on I say amend this geere
beware of all temptation
yor wearinis for to refrish
take honest recreation

He deliuereth him honest recreation
wit
I thaink you m̄ nurture much for
this yor gentelnies
& will doe yor commandimentes
hence forth with willingnis

good nurture
god grant you may & sirra you awaight
vpon him still

Exit
witt
I thaink you sir wt h all my hart
for this yor greate good will
one Iourni more I meane to make
I think I was a curst
god grant the second time may be
more happy then the first/

Thay both goe out

Tertia sena

Enter Idlenis
Ah sirra it is an old prouerb & a true
I sware by the roode
it is an il wind: that bloues no man to good
when I had brought wit
into wantonnis hampering
then thought I it was time for me
to be tempering
the cook is not so sone gone
as the doges hed is in the porig pot
wit was not so sone a sleepe
but my hand was in his hose
wantonis is a drab
for the nonce she is an old rig
but as for me my fingeres are as good as alme twic
now am I nue araid like a phesitien
now doe I not pas
I am as reddy to cog wt h m̄ wit as euer I was
I am as very aturncote as the wethercoke
of poles
for now I will calle my name due
disporte fit for all soules ye
se so findly I can turne the catt in the pan
now shall you heare how findly master doctor
can play the out landish man
ah by got me be the doctor
me am the fine knaue I tell ye
me haue the good medicine for the maidens belly
me haue the excellent medicine
for the blaines & blister
ah me am the knaue
to giue the faire maid the glister
how like you this my masteres
the bee haue no so many harbees
whereout to suck hony
as I can find shiftes whereby to get mony

Enter Snach and Catch
Idlenis
but soft a while my masteres
who haue we heare
these be crafty knauees
& therefore lie thou there

lay doune the purse in a cornor
The song that Snach and Catch singeth to gether

catch
hey liuely by the gutees of a crab louse Snach
this is an excellent sporte
now we are come from flushin to the English port
there shall not a fat pouch
come nodding by the way
but snach & Catch will desier him to stay

Snatch
yea by the hodges hed Catch
now we will lick the spicketes
but by the masse my hose be full
of spanish cricketes
sirra dost thou not knowe Idlenis
that counterfait knaue

Catch
ye by St tane I knowe him well for a knaue
he hath his purse full of mony
if we cold him gett

Snatch
where had he it

Catch
I tell the Snatch he stole it from witt

Snatch
who told the so declare it wt h redinis

Catch
by the braines of ablack pudding
tis such a knaue thou hast not hurde
it was told me of wantonis

here thay espie him
Idlenis
ah that drabe she can cacklel like a Cadowe
I pray you be hold my masteres
aman may shape none by ther shadowe

Snach
o wonderfull I wold he ware burst

Catch
nay I pray the lett me spake first
master Idlenis I am glad to se you
mery hartly

Idlnis
In faith I thaink you [hartily]
but I had rather haue yor rome as yor componie

Snatch
master Idlenis how haue you done in along time

Idlnis
Come come an hand of yor to pick a purse of mine

Catch
nay sir I hope you trust vs better
I must neades borrow yor ring to seale a letter

Idlenis
by my leaue in spite of my teath
god a mercy horse
this is that must neades be
quoth the good man whenn he made his wyfe
pine the baskit patiences perforce
well my masters if you will goe with me
I will carry you to and old wyfe that
makes pudinges wt h her arse hold yor nose thare
and if you will you may haue ledges of
mutton stufte with heare

Catch
this is a craftie fox but by a herring toke
I haue agood nose to be a pore mans sowe
I can smell an appell seuen mill in a haye mowe
vbi animus ibi ovulus where he loues there he lookes
hey liuely these will helpe to bring me out of Iohn Tapsteres bookes

Now he shall find the purse
Heere after thay haue scambled for the mony they shall spet in the purse and giue it him a gaine
Snach
hold heare thou shalt not lease all thy purse
shall not come home weeping for lose
and as for the thou shalt be commist
to dawes crosse

Idlenis
Euell gotten worse spent
by thift this mony came
I got it wt h the deuell
& now it is gone wt h his name

Catch
but sirra if we let him escape
per hapes we may haue a checke
If we should chance to looke through & hemp
windowe & our arse brake our necke

Snatch
why we will pull him vp by arope
to the tope of the house
& then lett him fall

Catch
nay then I knowe a better way
we will rune his arse against the wall

Snatch
Nay by the mase I haue a deuise much more mete
where I lay last night I stole away a sheete
we will take this & tie it to his hed
& soe we will blind him
& sirra I charge you when you here any
body comming
If they aske you any question say you goe amuming

Here they turne him aboute and bind his hands behinde him and tye the sheet aboute his face
Idlenis
Amuming quoth you why there can be nothing
worse then for aman to goe amuminge
when he hath no mony in his purse

Catch
well yet we charge you to doe on this fashion

Snatch
fare well m̄ Idlenies & remember yor lesson

Here thay rune one to one cornor of the stage and the other to the [th] other and spake like cuntrymen to begild him
Idelnis
A sirra in faith this geer cottons I go still
amuming
euen poore I all alone wt h out ether pipe
or druming

Snatch
Good day neighbour good day
tis afaire graye morning god be blessed

Catch
I be gis twold be trim wether
& if it were not for this mist
what those fellowes be all day at brakfast
I win thay make feastes
what Iack I say I must zwinge you
before you will serue the beastes
how now godes dageres death whoe
haue we heare

Idlenis
O for the passion of god lose me
false knaues haue robd me of all the
mony I got this yeere

here thay beate him
Snatch
yea ye rascall is the matter so plane
com com we must teach him his
lesson a gaine

Catch
Sirra now you haue learned atrick for yor cuminge
when any body comith say you goe a muminge

Exit Snatch: Cat
Idlenis
Amuminge quoth you why this geer will not settell
ether I rose on my lift side to day or I pist
on anettell
here is nuse the fox when he lett a farte
in the morninge
if wantonis knew this she will neuer lin
scorninge
this same is kind Cuckoldes luck
these fellowes haue giuen me a drie pluck
now I haue neuer a crose to blesse me
now I goe amuming
like a poore pennilesse spirit
wt h out pipe or druming

Enter wit and Honist Recreation a waiting on him
witt
fye fye what kind of life is this
to laboure all in vaine
to toil to gett the thing the wc h
my witt cannot attaine
the Iournie semith wondrous long
the wc h I haue to make
to teare my selfe & beate my braines
& all for wisdomes sake
& it godes knowes what may be fall
& what luck god will send
If she will loue me when I come
at this my Iournyes end
this honest recreation delites me not at all
for when I spend the time wt h him
I bring my selfe in thrall
here he steppeth back haueng espied Idlenis
but softe what haue w heare
some gost or dedly sperrit
that comes our Iourny for to stay
& vs for to affrite

Idlenis
yea by the mas what are ye coming
In faith I am a penilesse spirit
I goe still a muming

Wit
I coniure the to tell me what art thou
aman amonster a spirit or what
woldest thou haue

Idlenis
I am neither man monster nor
spirit but a poore peniles knaue

witt
wherefore is thy comminge/

Idlenis
/ Marry to goe amuming

wit
/ yea but what art thou
may not that be knowen

Idlenis
/ why what am I but a knaue
when all my mony is gone

wit
/ come tell me thy name
I pray the haue done

Idlenis
/ A good honest knauees
haue ye forgot so sone

wit
/ why but will ye not tell me
how thou camest thues drest

Idlenis
/ In faith gentell theaues
you yor selues knowes best

wit
/ doe I why thou dost not know me
the whorson patch

Idlenis
/ yes I knowe it is ether
snatch or Catch
But in faith gentell theues
I goe still amuming
although it be ether
wt h out pipe or druminge

Here shall wit pul of the sheet saying
wit
/ how sayest thou now
canst thou not see
I pray the tell me
dost thou know me

Idlnis
/ o the body of a Gorge
I wold I had them heare
in faith I wold chope them
thay ware not so hack this seuen yeer
why I am so could
that my teeth chater in my hed
I haue stood here iij dayes & iij nights
wt h out ether meate or bread

wit
/ I pray the what is thy name
& whether dost thou resorte

Idlenis
/ for soth for fault of a better
is due disporte

wit
/ didst not the call thy selfe
honist recreation wc h deceued me onces

Idlenis
/ why I am a phesition: If it were I
a knaue shake my bones
I am a greate trauelir
I lite on the dunghill like a puttock
nay take me wt h a lye
& cut out the brane of my buttock

wit
/ If thy name be due disporte
I wold be acquainted wt h the
for in sporte I delight

Idlenis
/ Not vnder a cuppeles of capons
& thay must be white
but if you will be acquainted
wt h me as you say
then must you send this companian
a way
for you & I must walke a lone

wit
/ why then sirra away
gett you gon

Exit Honist Recreation
Idlenis
/ so now come on wt h me
to a frendes house of mine
that there we may to some sport incl[OMITTED]

wit
/ Com on then/

Here Idlenis hauing brought him to the den of Ircksomnes: shall leape away and Ircksomnes enter like a monstor and shall beat downe wit with his cloub saying
Ircksomnis
what wite is that
wc h comes so nere his pane

Here thay fite wit falls doune
wit
/ Alas alas now am I sland

Ircksomnis
/ Nay nay no force thou mightest
a further stood
if thou hadest scape
safe by my dene
thy luck ware to to goo

Exit
Ircksomnis leaueth him dead on the stage
Enter wisdome and sayeth
of late abrode I harde report
that wit makees many vowees
the lady wisdome if he may
[the] to wyfe for to espouse
but it I feare both Idelnis & Ircksomnis
will sonder
soft this same is wit that lieth bleading
yonder
Heere she helpeth him vp
what wit be of good cheare
& now I will sustaine the

wit
/ o Lady wisdome so I wold
but Ircksomnis hath slaned me

wisdome
/ well yet arise & doe as I shall tell
and then I warrant the
thou shalt doe [d] well

wit
/ I thaink you much & though that I
am very much a greaued
yet sence yor coming sure my thinkes
I am right well releued
you showe yor courtesie herein
wherein I partly gesse
that you doe knowe the cause
right well
of this my deepe distresse
my father bad me labour still
yor [fathe] fauore to obtaine
but it before I could you see
full greate hath bin my paine
first Idlenis he brought me wo
then wantonies stept in
& last of all foule Ircksomns
his parte he doth begin

wisdome
/ I thinke right well for many a one
hath come to sore decaye
when as it hapt that Ircksomnis
hath met them in the way
for I poore wisdome here am plaste
among these craggie cliftes
& he that seekes to win my loue
must venter many shiftes
but it I beare the greate good will
& here I promise the
If thou canst Ircksomnies dstroy
thy lady I will be
& to the end that may be done
wc h I might well aford
hold heere perseuerance I say
a good & lucky sword
& call for Ircksomnis
& lett him feale thy force
be stoute for if he ouer come
he will haue no remorse

wit
/ Why maddam deare behold the wight
wc h feares not for thy loue
to fight wt h men & monstors both
as straight I shall it prooue

wisdome
/ well doe so then
the whilees I will depart

wit
/ I thaink you lady wisdome much
farewell wt h all my hart
Exit wisdome
wit calleth forth Ircksomns
well once more haue at Ircksomnis
com forth thou monstor fell
I hope yet now the second time
thy pride & force to quel
Enter Ircksomns saing
what who is that that cales me forth
what art thou yet aliue
if that I catch the once againe
thou shalt no more reuiue

wit
/ leaue of thy brages & doe thy worst
thy words may not preuaile at first
Here thay fight [OMITTED] a while and Ircksomnis must run in a dores and

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38

wit shall followe taking his visor of his hed and shall bring it in vpon his sworde saing
the lord bethainked for his grace
this monster is [OMITTED] subduid/
& I wc h erst was worne wt h wo
am now wt h ioy renued
well now before that I vnto
dame wisdomes house repare
I will vnto my father go
these [nuse] newes for to declare

Exit