University of Virginia Library

ACT V.

SCENE I.

Enter Prodigalitie, Money, Tom, Dicke.
Prod.
Come on, my bulchin, come on, my fat fatox.
Come porkeling, come on, come prettie twattox.
Why will it not be? yet faster a cursie.
This Gentleman of late is waxen so pursie,
As at euery lands end he seeketh to rest him.
How thinke ye? hath not Tenacity trimly drest him?

Money.
Prodigalitie, if thou lou'st me, let vs here stay:
For sure I can doe no more then I may.
I am out of breath as weary as a dog,

He falles downe vpon his elbow.
Tom.
A luskish lubber, as fat as a hogge.

Prod.
Come vp, gentle Money, wee may not here stay.

Money.
I must needes, Prodigalitie, there is no nay:
For if I should stirre me one inch from the ground,
I thinke I shall die, sure, or fall in a sound.

Prod.
Then must you be drawne.

Mony.
Drawne, or hang'd, all is one:
For I cannot stirre me, my breath is cleane gone.

Prod.
How like ye this grossum corpus, so mightily growne?

Tom.
I like him the better, that he is your owne.

Dick.
A more monstrous beast, a beast more vnweldie,
Since first I was borne, yet neuer beheld I.

Prod.
Indeed the hooreson is waxen somewhat too fat:
But we will finde medicines to remedie that.

Tom.
Sir, let me but haue him a little in cure,
To put my poore practise of Phisicke in vre,
And I dare warrant ye with a purgation or twaine,
Ile quickly rid him out of all this paine.

Prod.
I thinke a glister were better.

Dick.
Nay, rather a suppositorie.

Tom.
Nay then, what say you to letting of blood?

Dick.
I thinke that some of these should doe him good.
Aske the Phisicion.

Money.
Prodigalitie.

Prod.
Hoo.

Money.
I am sicke.

Prod.
Where, man?

Money.
Faith, here, in my belly.
It swelles, I assure ye, out of all measure.

Prod.
Take heed it grow not to a Timpany.

Money.
And if it doe, what is the danger then?

Prod.
A consumption.

Money.
A consumption? marrie, God forbid, man.

Tom.
What thinke you now of Tenacitie?
Was he your friend or your foe?

Money.
Ah, that wretch Tenacitie hath brought mee to all this woe,
'Twas he indeed that sought to destroy me,
In that he would neuer vse to employ me:
But Prodigalitie, sweet Prodigalitie,
Help to prouide some present remedie:
Let me not be thus miserably spilt,
Ease me of this, and vse me as thou wilt.
Yet had I rather liue in state bare and thin,
Then in this monstrous plight that now I am in:
So fatty, so foggy, so out of all measure,
That in my selfe, I take no kind of pleasure.

Prod.
Why, rise vp then quickly, and let vs be gone.

Money.
Friends, you must help me, I cannot rise alone.

Dick.
Come on, my sweet Money, we must haue a meane,
To turne this foggy fat, to a finer leane.

Money.
The sooner the better.

Tom.
Nay, Money, doubt not, but by sweat or by vomit,
I warrant thee boy, shortly thou shalt be rid from it.

Prod.
Rid, quotha, if shauing, or boxing, or scowring
Or noynting, or scraping, or purging, or blood-letting,
Or rubbing, or paring, or chafing, or fretting,
Or ought else will rid it, he shall want no ridding.
Come on, Money, let's be iogging.

SCENE II.

The Constables make hue and cry.
Con.
Theeues, neighbors, theeues, come forth, beset the country.

Prod.
Harke, list a while, what might this clamour be?

Dick.
Zwounds, we are vndone, Prodigalitie,
The Constables come after with hue and cry.

Tom.
O Cerberus, what shall we doe?

Prod.
Stand backe, lie close, and let them passe by.

Const.
Theeues, theeues! O vile! O detestable deed!
Theeues, neighbours: come forth, away, abroad with speed.

Host.
Where dwell these Constables?

Const.
Why? what's the matter, friend, I pray?

Host.
Why, theeues man, I tell thee, come away.
Theeues I faith, wife, my scull, my Iacke, my browne bill.

Const.
Come away quickly.

Host.
Dick, Tom, Will, ye hoorsons, make ye all ready, and haste apace after.
But let me heare, how stands the case?

Const.
Marrie, sir, here-by, not farre from this place,
A plaine simple man ryding on his Asse,
Meaning home to his Country in Gods peace to passe,
By certaine Roysters most furious and mad,
Is spoyled and robbed of all that he had.
And yet not contented, when they had his money,
But the villaynes haue also murder him most cruelly.

Host.
Good God for his mercy!

Const.
It was my hap to come then present by him,
And found him dead, with twenty wounds vpon him.

Host.
But what became of them?

Const.
They fled this way.

Host.
Then, neighbour, let vs here no longer stay,
But hence and lay the countrey round about.
They shall be quickly found, I haue no doubt.

Constable goes in.

SCENE III.

Enter Vertue, and Equitie, with other attendants.
Vert.
My Lords, you see how far this worldly state peruerted is,
From good declinde, enclined still to follow things amisse.
You see but verie few, that make of Vertue any price:
You see all sorts with hungry willes, run headlong into vice.

Equit.
We see it oft, we sorrow much, and hartily lament,
That of himselfe, man should not haue a better gouernment.

Ver.
The verie beasts that be deuoyd of reason, dul & dumbe,
By nature learne to shun those things, wherof their hurt may come.
If man were then but as a beast, onely by nature taught,
He would also by nature learne, to shun what things are naught.
But man with reason is indude, he reason hath for stay,
Which reason should restraine his will, from going much astray.

Equit.
Madam, tis true:
Where reason rules, there is the golden meane,

Ver.
But most men stoope to stubborne will,
Which conquereth reason cleane.

Equit.
And Will againe to fancie yeelds,
Which twaine be speciall guides,
That traine a man to treade ill pathes,
Where ease and pleasure bides.

Ver.
No ease, no pleasure, can be good, that is not got with paines.

Equit.
That is the cause from Vertues loue,
Mans fancy still refraines.

Vert.
And paines, I thinke, they feele likewise,
That vnto vice doe bend.

Equit.
They feele, no doubt: but yet such paines
Come not before the end.

Ver.
I grieue for man, that man should be, of ill attēpts so faine.

Equit.
Grieue not for that, euill tasted once, turnes him to good againe.

Ver.
Then will I take a chearefull mind,
Vnpleasant thoughts expell,
And cares for man commit to them,
That in the heauens doe dwell.

Equit.
Do so, deare Madam, I beseech you most heartily,
And recreate your selfe before you goe hence, with some sweet melody.

THE SONG.

SCENE IIII.

Enter Vertue, Equity, Liberality, Money, and the Sherife.
Vert.
Now my Lords, I see no cause, but that depart we may.

Equit.
Madam, to that shall like you best, we willingly obay.

Lib.
Yes, Lady, stay awhile, and heare of strange aduentures.

Ver.
Of what aduentures tell you? let vs know.

Lib.
Master Sherife, of that is happened, doe you make shew.

Sherif.
Then may it please you, the effect is this:
There is a certaine Royster, named Prodigalitie,
That long about this towne hath ruffled in great iolitie,
A man long suspected of very lewd behauiour,
Yet standing euer so high in Fortunes fauour,
As neuer till now, he could be bewrayed,
Of any offence, that to him might be layed:
Now wanting (belike) his wonted brauery,
He thought to supplie it, by murther and robbery.

Equit.
By murther and robbery?

Sherif.
Yea, sure.

Ver.
How?

Sherif.
This gallant, I tell you, with other lewd franions,
Such as himselfe, vnthrifty companions,
In most cruell sort, by the high way side,
Assaulted a countrie man, as he homewards did ride,
Robbed him, and spoiled him of all that they might,
And lastly, bereau'd him of his life out-right.

Ver.
O horrible fact!

Sherif.
The country hereupon rais'd hue & cry streightway:
He is apprehended, his fellowes fled away:
I supplying, though vnworthy, for this yere,
The place of an Officer, and Sherife of the shiere,
To my Princes vse, haue seyzed on his mony,
And bring you the same, according to my duty:
Praying, the party may haue the law with speed,
That others may be terrified from so foule a deed.

Ver.
So horrible a fact can hardly plead for fauour:
Therefore goe you, Equity, examine more diligently,
The maner of this outragious robbery:
And as the same, by examination shall appeare,
Due iustice may be done in presence here.

Equit.
It shall be done, Madam.

Sherif.
Then, Madam, I pray you, appoint some Officer to take the mony,
That I may returne againe with Equity.

Ver.
Let it be deliuered to my steward Liberality.

Exeunt.
Lib.
What, Mony? how come you to be so fat and foggy?

Mony.
Surely, sir, by the old chuffe, that miser Tenacity.

Lib.
How so?

Money.
He would neuer let me abroad to goe,
But lockt me vp in coffers, or in bags bound me fast,
That like a Bore in a stie, he fed me at last.
Thus Tenacitie did spoile me, for want of exercise:
But Prodigalitie, cleane contrarywise,
Did tosse me, and fleece me, so bare and so thinne,
That he left nothing on me, but very bone and skinne.

Lib.
Well, Mony, will you bide with him that can deuise,
To rid you and keepe you from these extremities?

Money.
Who is that?

Lib.
Euen my selfe, Liberalitie.

Money.
Sir, I like you well, and therefore willingly,
I am contented with you to remaine,
So as you protect me from the other twaine.

Lib.
I warrant thee.
First, from thy bands Ile set thee free,
And after, thy sickenes cured shall be.

Money.
Thanks and obedience I yeeld, & vow to Liberalitie.

Exit.
Enter Captaine VVel-don.
Cap.
My Lord, according to your appointment and will,
I come to attend your pleasure.

Lib.
Haue you brought your bill?

Cap.
Yea, my Lord.

Lib.
Giue it me.
Ile be your meane vnto the Prince, that it may dispatched be:
The while take here, these hundred crownes to releeue ye.

Cap.
God saue the Queene, and God saue Liberalitie.

2. Suiter.
Sir, I haue long serued the Prince at great expence,
And long haue I bin promised a recompence:
I beseech you consider of me.

Lib.
What, doe you serue without fee?

2. Suit.
Yea truely, sir.

Lib.
Hold, pray for the Queene.

2. Suit.
It shalbe my prayer day and night truely.
God saue the Queene, and God saue Liberalitie.

3. Suiter.
Now, good my Lord, vouchsafe of your charitie,
To cast here aside your pittifull eyes
Vpon a poore souldier, naked and needy,
That in the Queenes warres was maimed, as you see.

Lib.
Where haue you serued?

3. Suit.
In Fraunce, in Flaunders: but in Ireland most.

Lib.
Vnder whom?

3. Suit.
Vnder Captaine Wel-don.

Cap.
He was my souldier, indeed sir, vntill he lost his legge.

Lib.
Hold, pray for the Queene.

3. Suit.
God saue the Queene, and God saue Liberalitie.

SCENE V.

Enter Tipstaues, Liberality, Equity, Sherife, Clerks, Cryer, Prodigality, and the Iudge.
Tip.
Roome, my Masters, giue place, stand by.
Sir, Equity hath sent me to let you vnderstand,
That hither he will resort out of hand,
To sit vpon the arraignement of Prodigality.

Lib.
In good time.

Tip.
Behold, he comes.

Lib.
Now, Equity, how falles the matter out?

Equit.
That Prodigality is guiltie of the fact, no doubt,
And therefore for furtherance of Iustice effectually,
My Lord the Iudge comes to sit vpon him presently:
Wherein we craue your assistance.

Lib.
Ile wayte vpon you.

Tip.
Roome, my masters, roome for my Lord: stand by.

The Iudge placed, and the Clerkes vnder him.
Iudge.
Call for the prisoner.

Clerk.
Make an oyes, cryer.

Cryer.
Oyes, oyes, oyes!

Clerk.
Sherife of Middlesex.

Cryer.
Repeat, Sherife, &c.

Clerk.
Bring forth the prisoner.

Cryer.
Bring, &c.

Clerk.
Prodigalitie.

Cryer.
Prodigalitie.

Clerk.
Paine of the perill shall fall thereon.

Cryer.
Paine of, &c.

Sherif.
Here, sir.

Clerk.
Prodigality, hold vp thy hand.

Thou art indited here by the name of Prodigality, for that thou,
the fourth day of February, in the three & fortie yeere of the prosperous
raigne of Elizabeth our dread Soueraigne, by the grace of
God, of England, France, and Ireland Queene, defender of the
faith, &c. together with two other malefactors yet vnknowne, at
High-gate in the County of Middlesex aforesaid, didst felloniously
take from one Tenacity of the parish of Pancridge yeoman, in
the said County, one thousand pounds of gold and siluer starling:

And also, how thy selfe, the said Prodigalitie; with a sword,
price twenty shillings, then and there cruelly didst giue the saide
Tenacitie vpon the head, one mortall wound, whereof hee is now
dead, contrarie to the Queenes peace, her Crowne and dignitie.

Iudge.

How saist thou, Prodigalitie, to this robberie, felonie, and
murther? art thou guiltie, or not guiltie?

Prod.
My Lord, I beseech you, graunt me councell to plead my cause.

Iudg.
That may not be, it standeth not with our lawes.

Prod.
Then, good my Lord, let me some respite take.

Iudg.
Neyther may that be: thus doth the inditement lie,
Thou art accus'd of murther, and of robberie,
To which thou must now answere presently,
Whether thou be thereof guiltie or not guiltie.

Prod.
Well, since there is no other remedie,
And that my fact falles out so apparantly,
I will confesse, that indeed I am guilty,
Most humbly appealing to the Princes mercy.

Iudg.
Then what canst thou say for thy selfe, Prodigalitie,
That according to the law thou shouldst not die?

Prod.
Nothing, my Lord: but still appeale to the Princes mercy.

Iudg.
Then hearken to thy iudgement.

Thou, Prodigalitie, by that name haste bin indited and arraigned
here, of a robbery, murther, and felonie, against the lawes committed
by thee: the inditement whereof being read vnto thee here,
thou confessest thy selfe to be guilty therein: whereupon I Iudge
thee, to be had from hence, to the place thou camst fro, and from
thence to the place of execution, there to be hangd till thou be
dead, God haue mercy on thee.

Prod.
My Lord, I most humbly beseech you to heare mee.

Iudg.
Say on.

Prod.
I confesse, I haue runne a wanton wicked race,
Which now hath brought me to this wofull wretched case:
I am heartily sorrie, and with teares doe lament
My former lewd, and vile misgouernment.
I finde the brittle stay of trustlesse Fortunes state,
My heart now thirsteth after Vertue, all too late:
Yet good my Lord, of pittie condiscend,
To be a meane for him, that meaneth to amend.
The Prince is mercifull, of whose great mercy,
Full many haue largely tasted already:
Which makes me appeale thereto more boldly.

Iudg.
Prodigalitie, I not mislike your wailefull disposition,
And therefore, for you to the Prince, there shall be made Petition,
That though your punishment be not fully remitted,
Yet in some part, it may be qualified.

Prod.
God saue your life.

Vertue, Equitie, Liberalitie, Iudge, and all come downe before the Queene, and after reuerence made, Vertue speaketh.