University of Virginia Library

The second Sceane.

Hodge. Diccon.
Hodge
See so cham arayed with dablynge in the durt
She that set me to ditchinge, ich wold she had the squrt
Was neuer poore soule that such a life had?
Gogs bones thys vylthy glaye hase drest mee to bad
Gods soule, see how this stuffe teares
Iche were better to bee a Bearward and set to keepe Beares
By the Masse here is a gasshe, a shamefull hole in deade
And one stytch teare furder, a man may thruste in his heade.

Diccon
By my fathers soule Hodge, if I shulde now besworne
I can not chuse but say thy breech is foule be torne,
But the next remedye in such a case and hap
Is to plaunche on a piece, as brode as thy cap.

Hodge
Gogs soule man, tis not yet two dayes fully ended
Synce my dame Gurton (chem sure) these breches amended,
But cham made suce a drudge to trudge at euery neede
Chwold rend it though it were stitched what sturdy pacthreede,

Diccon
Hoge, let thy breeches go, and speake and tell mee soone
What deuill ayleth gāmer gurton, & Tib her mayd to frowne,

Hodge
Tush man thart deceyued, tys theyr dayly looke,
They coure so ouer ye coles, theyr eyes be bleard with smooke,

Diccon
Nay by the masse, I perfectly perceiued as I came hether
That eyther Tib & her dame hath ben by the eares to gether
Or els as great a matter as thou shalt shortly see.

Hodge
Now iche besceche our Lord they neuer better agree.

Diccon
By gogs soule there they syt as still as stones in the streite
As though they had ben takē with fairies or els wt some il sprite

Hodge
Gogs hart, I durst haue layd my cap to a crowne
Chwould lerne of some prancome as sone as ich came to town.

Diccon
Why Hodge art thou inspyred? or dedst thou therof here?

Hodge
Nay, but ich saw such a wonder as ich saw nat this .vii. yere
Tome Tannkards Cow (be gogs bones) she set me vp her saile
And flynging about his halfe aker fysking with her taile,
As though there had ben in her ars a swarme of Bees,
And chad not cryed tphrowh hoore, shead lept out of his Lees.

Diccon
Why Hodg lies the connyng in Tom tankards cowes taile?

Hodge
Well ich chaue hard some say such tokens do not fayle,
But cast yu not till in faith Diccon, why she frownes or wher at
Hath no man stolne her Ducks or Henes, or gelded gyb her Cat

Diccon
What deuyll can I tell man, I cold not haue one word
They gaue no more hede to my talk then thou woldst to a lorde

Hodge
Iche can not styll but muse, what meruaylous thinge it is
Chyll in and know my selfe what matters are amys.

Diccon.
Then farewell hodge a while, synce thou doest inward hast,
For I will into the good wyfe Chats, to feele how the ale dooth taste.