University of Virginia Library

The i. Sceane.

Master Bayly. Doctor Rat.
Bailie.
I Can perceiue none other, I speke it from my hart
But either ye ar in al the fault or els in ye greatest part

D. Rat.
If it be counted his fault, besides all his greeues
When a poore man is spoyled: and beaten among theeues?
Then I confesse my fault herein, at this season,
But I hope you wil not iudge so much against reason.

Baily.
And me thinkes by your owne tale, of all that ye name.
If any plaid the theefe you were the very same.
The women they did nothing, as your words make probation
But stoutly withstood your forcible inuasion,
If that a theefe at your window, to enter should begin,
Wold you hold forth your hand, and helpe to pull him in:
Or you wold kepe him out: I pray you answere me.

D. Rat.
Mary kepe him out, and a good cause why:
But I am no theefe sir but an honest learned Clarke.

Baily.
Yea but who knoweth that, when he meets you in the darke
I am sure your learning shines not out at your nose,
Was it any maruaile, though the poore woman arose
And start vp, being afraide of that was in hir purse
Me thinke you may be glad that you lucke was no worse.

D. Rat.
Is not this euill ynough, I pray you as you thinke,

Showing his broken head.
Baily.
Yea but a man in the darke, of chaunces do wincke,
As soone he smites his father, as any other man,
Because for lacke of light, discerne him he ne can.
Might it not haue ben your lucke, wt a spit to haue ben slaine:

D. Rat.
I thinke I am litle better, my scalpe is clouen to the braine,
If there be all the remedy, I know who beares the kockes.

Baily.
By my troth and well worthy, besides to kisse the stockes
To come in on the backe side, when ye might go about,
I know non such, vnles they long to haue their braines knockt out

D. Rat.
Well, wil you be so good sir, as talke with dame Chat?
And know what she intended: I aske no more but that.

Bayly.
Let her be called fellow because of master doctor,
I warrant in this case, she wil be hir owne Proctor,
She will tel hir owne tale in metter or in prose,
And byd you seeke your remedy, and so go wype your nose.