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Iohan Iohan the husbande.

Tyb.
Why whom wylt thou beate I say thou knaue

Ihān.
Who I Tyb/none so god me saue

Tyb.
yes I harde the say thou woldest one bete

Ihān
Mary wyfe it was stokfysshe in temmes strete
Whiche wyll be good meate agaynst lent
Why tyb what haddest yu thought yt I had ment

Tyb.
Mary me thought I harde the bawlyng
Wylt thou neuer leue this wawlyng
Howe the dyuell dost thou thy selfe behaue
Shall we euer haue this worke thou knaue

Ihān.
What wyfe/howe sayst yu/was it well gest of me
That thou woldest be come home in safete
Assone as I had kendled a fyre
Come warme the swete tyb I the requyre

Tyb.
O Iohan Iohan/I am afrayd by this lyght
That I shalbe sore syk this nyght

Ihān.
By cokkes soule/nowe I dare say a swan
That she comes nowe streyght fro syr Iohan
For euer whan she hath fatched of hym a lyk
Than she comes home/and sayth she is syk

Tyb.
what sayst thou.

I.
Mary I say
It is mete for a woman to go play
Abrode in the towne for an houre or two

Tyb.
well gentylman/go to go to

Ihān.
well let vs haue no more debate

Tyb.
If he do not fyght/chyde/and rate
Braule and fare/as one that were frantyke
There is nothyng that may hym lyke

Ihān.
If that the parysshe preest syr Iohan
Dyd not se her nowe and than
And gyue her absolution vpon a bed
For wo and payne/she wolde sone be deed

Tyb.
For goddes sake Ihān Iohan/do the not displease
Many a tyme I am yll at ease
what thynkest nowe/am not I somwhat syk

Ihān.
Nowe wolde to god and swete saynt Dyryk
That thou warte in the water vp to the throte
Or in a burnyng ouen red hote
To se and I wolde pull the out

Tyb.
Nowe Iohan Iohan/to put the out of dout
Imagyn thou where that I was
Before I came home.

I.
My percase
Thou wast prayenge in the churthe of poules
Upon thy knees for all chrysten soules

Tyb.
Nay.

I.
Than if thou wast not so holy
Shewe me where thou wast/and make no lye

Tyb.
Truely Iohan Iohan we made a pye
I and my gossyp Margery
And our gossyp the preest syr Iohan
And my neybours yongest doughter An
The preest payde for the stuffe and the makyng
And Margery she payde for the bakyng

Ihān.
By kokkes lylly woundes that same is she
That is the most bawde hens to Couentre

Tyb.
What say you.

I.
Mary answere me to this
Is not syr Iohan a good man/yes that he is

Ihān.
Ha Tyb/if I shulde not greue the
I haue somwhat wherof I wolde meue the

Tyb.
Well husbande/nowe I do coniect
That thou hast me somwhat in suspect
But by my soule/I neuer go to syr Iohan
But I fynde hym lyke an holy man
For eyther he is sayenge his deuotion
Or els he is goynge in p̄cessyon

Ihān.
Yea rounde about the bed doth he go
you two to gether and no mo
And for to fynysshe the processyon
He lepeth vp and thou lyest downe

Tyb.
What sayst thou.

I.
Mary I say he doth well
For so ought a shepherde to do/as I harde tell
For the saluation of all his folde

Tyb.
Iohan Iohan.

[Ihān.]
What is it that thou wolde

tyb.
By my soule I loue the too too
And I shall tell the or I further go
The pye that was made/I haue it nowe here
And therwith I trust we shall make good chere

Ihān.
By kokkes body that is very happy

tyb.
But wotest who gaue it.

I.
What ye dyuel rek I

tyb.
By my fayth and I shall say trewe than
The dyuell take me and it were not syr Iohan

Ihān.
O holde the peas wyfe/and swere no more
But I beshrewe both your hartes therfore

Tyb.
Yet peraduenture thou hast suspection
Of that that was neuer thought nor done

[Ihān.]
Tusshe wyfe/let all suche matters be
I loue the well though thou loue not me
But this pye doth nowe catche harme
Let vs set it vpon the harth to warme

tyb.
Than let vs eate it as fast as we can
But bycause syr Iohan is so honest a man
I wolde that he shulde therof eate his part

Tyb.
That were reason I the ensure

Ihān.
Than syns that it is thy pleasure
I pray the than go to hym ryght
And pray hym come sup with vs to nyght

Ihān.
Shall he cū hyther/by kokkes soule I was a curst
whan that I graunted to that worde furst
But syns I haue sayd it/I dare not say nay
For than my wyfe and I shulde make a fray
But whan he is come/I swere by goddes mother
I wold gyue the dyuell ye tone to cary away ye tother.

Tyb.
What sayst.

Io.
Mary he is my curate I say
My confessour and my frende alway
Therfore go thou and seke hym by and by
And tyll thou come agayne I wyll kepe the pye

Tyb.
Shall I go for hym? nay I shrewe me than
Go thou and seke as fast as thou can
And tell hym it.

I.
Shall I do so
In fayth it is not mete for me to go

Tyb.
But thou shalte go tell hym for all that

Ihān.
Than shall I tell hym wotest what
That thou desyrest hym to come make some chere

Tyb.
Nay that thou desyrest hym to come sup here

Ihān.
Nay by the rode wyfe/yu shalt haue the worshyp
And the thankes of thy gest that is thy gossyp

Tyb.
Full ofte I se my husbande wyll me rate
For this hether commyng of our gentyll curate

Ihān.
what sayst Tyb/let me here that agayne

Tyb.
Mary I perceyue very playne
That thou hast syr Iohan somwhat in suspect
But by my soule as far as I coniect
He is vertuouse and full of charyte

Ihān.
In fayth all the towne knoweth better that he
Is a hore monger/a haunter of the stewes
An ypocrite/a knaue/that all men refuse
A lyer/a wretche/a maker of stryfe
Better than they knowe that thou art my good wyfe

Tyb.
What is that that thou hast sayde

Ihān.
Mary I wolde haue the table set and layde
In this place or that I care not whether

Tyb.
Than go to brynge the trestels hyther

Ihān.
Abyde a whyle/let me put of my gown
But yet I am afrayde to lay it down
For I fere it shalbe sone stolen
And yet it may lye safe ynough vnstolen
It may lye well here and I lyst
But by cokkes soule here hath a dogge pyst
And if I shulde lay it on the harth bare
It myght hap to be burned or I were ware
Therfore I pray you take ye the payne
To kepe my gowne tyll I come agayne

Ihān.
But yet he shall not haue it by my fay
He is so nere the dore he myght ron away
But bycause that ye be trusty and sure
Ye shall kepe it and it be your pleasure
And bycause it is arayde at the skyrt
Whyle ye do nothyng skrape of the dyrt

Tyb.
Lo nowe am I redy to go to syr Iohan
And byd hym come as fast as he can

Ihān.
Ye do so without ony taryeng
But I say harke/thou hast forgot one thyng
Set vp the table/and that by and by
Nowe go thy ways

I.
I go shortly
But se your candelstykkes be not out of the way

Tyb.
Come agayne and lay the table I say
What me thynkes ye haue sone don

Ihān.
Nowe I pray god that his malediction
Lyght on my wyfe/and on the baulde preest

Tyb.
Nowe go thy ways and hye the seest

Ihān.
I pray to Christ/if my wyshe be no synne
That ye preest may breke his neck whan he comes in

Tyb.
Now cū agayn.

I.
What a myschefe wylt yu fole

tyb.
Mary I say brynge hether yender stole

Ihān.
Nowe go to/a lyttell wolde make me
For to say thus/a vengaunce take the

tyb.
Nowe go to hym and tell hym playn
That tyll thou brynge hym/yu wylt not come agayn

Ihān.
This pye doth borne here as it doth stande

tyb.
Go washe me these two cuppes in my hande

Ihān.
I go with a myschyefe lyght on thy face

tyb.
Go and byd hym hye hym a pace
And the whyle I shall all thynges amende

Ihān.
This pye burneth here at this ende
Understandest thou.

T.
Go thy ways I say

Ihān.
I wyll go nowe as fast as I may

tyb.
How come ones agayne/I had forgot
Loke and there be ony ale in the pot

Ihān.
Nowe a vengaunce and a very myschyefe
Lyght on the pylde preest/and on my wyfe
On the pot/the ale/and on the table
The candyll/the pye/and all the rable
On the trystels and on the stole
It is moche ado to please a curst fole

Tyb.
Go thy ways nowe and tary no more
For I am a hungred very sore

Ihān.
Mary I go.

T.
but come ones agayne yet
Brynge hyther that breade lest I forget it

Ihān.
Iwys it were tyme for to torne
The pye/for ywys it doth borne

Tyb.
Lorde howe my husbande nowe doth patter
And of the pye styl doth clatter
Go nowe and byd hym come away
I haue byd the an hundred tymes to day

Ihān.
I wyll not gyue a strawe I tell you playne
If that the pye waxe colde agayne

Tyb.
What art thou not gone yet out of this place
I had went thou haddest ben come agayne in ye space
But by cokkes soule and I shulde do the ryght
I shulde breke thy knaues heed to nyght

Ihān.

Syr Iohan the preest.
Who is there nowe that wolde haue me
What Iohan Iohan/what newes with the

Ihān.
Mary syr to tell you shortly
My wyfe and I pray you hartely
And eke desyre you with all our myght
That ye wolde come and sup with vs to nyght

syr. I.
Ye must pardon me/in fayth I ne can

Ihān.
Yes I desyre you good syr Iohan
Take payne this ones/and yet at the lest
If ye wyll do nought at my request
Yet do somwhat for the loue of my wyfe

syr. I.
I wyll not go for makyng of stryfe
But I shall tell the what thou shalte do
Thou shalt tary and sup with me or thou go

Ihān.
Wyll ye not go than/why so
I pray you tell me/is there any dysdayne
Or ony enmyte betwene you twayne

syr. I.
In fayth to tell the betwene the and me
She is as wyse a woman as any may be
I know it well/for I haue had the charge
Of her soule/and serchyd her conscyens at large
I neuer knew her/but honest and wyse
Without any yuyll/or any vyce
Saue one faut/I know in her no more
And because I rebuke her/now and then therfore
She is angre with me/and hath me in hate
And yet that that I do/I do it for your welth

Ihān.
Now god yeld it yow/god master curate
And as ye do/so send you your helth
Ywys I am bound to you a plesure

syr. I.
Yet thou thynkyst amys peraduenture
That of her body she shuld not be a good woman
But I shall tell the what I haue done Iohan
For that matter/she and I be somtyme aloft
And I do lye vppon her/many a tyme and oft
To proue her/yet could I neuer espy
That euer any/dyd wors with her than I

Ihān.
Syr that is the lest care I haue of nyne
Thankyd be god/and your good doctryne
But yf it please you/tell me the matter
And the debate betwene you and her

syr. I.
I shall tell the/but thou must kepe secret

Ihān.
As for that syr/I shall not let

syr. I.
I shall tell the now/the matter playn
She is angry with me/and hath me in dysdayn
Because that I/do her oft intyce
To do some penaunce/after myne aduyse
Because she/wyll neuer leue her wrawlyng
But alway with the/she is chydyng and brawlyng
And therfore I knowe/she hatyth me presens

Ihān.
Nay in good feyth/sauyng your reuerens

syr. I.
I know very well she hath me in hate

Ihān.
Nay/I dare swere for her master curate
But was I not a very knaue
I thought surely/so god me saue
That he had louyd my wyfe/for to dyseyue me
And now he quytyth hym self/and here I se
He doth as much/as he may for his lyfe
To stynk the debate/betwene me and my wyfe

syr. I.
If euer she dyd or though me any yll
Now I forgyue her with me fre wyll
Therfore Iohan Iohan/now get the home
And thank thy wyfe/and say I wyll not come

Ihān.
yet let me know now good syr Iohan
Where ye wyll go to supper than

syr. I.
I care not greatly/and I tell the
On saterday last/I and ii or thre
Of my frendes made an appoyntement
And agaynst this nyght we dyd assent
That in a place we wolde sup together
And one of them sayd he wold brynge thether
Ale and bread/and for my parte I
Sayd that I wolde gyue them a pye
And there I gaue them money for the makynge
And an other sayd she wolde pay for the bakyng
And so we purpose to make good chere
For to dryue away care and thought

Ihān.
Than I pray you syr tell me here
whyther shulde all this geare be brought

syr. I.
By my fayth and I shulde not lye
It shulde be delyuered to thy wyfe the pye

Ihān.
By god it is at my house standyng by the fyre

syr. I.
Who bespake that pye/I the requyre

Ihān.
By my feyth and I shall not lye
It was my wyfe and her gossyp Margerye
And your good masshyp/called syr Iohan
And my neybours yongest doughter An
Your masshyp payde for the stuffe and makyng
And Margery she payde for the bakyng

syr. I.
If thou wylte haue me nowe/in faithe I wyll go

Ihān.
Ye mary I beseche your masshyp do so
My wyfe taryeth for none but vs twayne
She thynketh longe or I come agayne

syr. I.
Well nowe/if she chyde me in thy presens
I wylbe content and take in pacyens

Ihān.
By cokkes soule and she ones chyde
Or frowne/or loure/or loke asyde
I shall brynge you a staffe as myche as I may heue
Than bete her and spare not/I gyue you good leue
To chastyce her for her shreude varyeng

Tyb.
The deuyll take the for thy longe taryeng
Here is not a whyt of water by my gowne
To washe our handes/that we myght syt downe
Go and hye the as fast as a snayle
And with fayre water fyll me this payle

Ihān.
I thanke our lorde of his good grace
That I can not rest longe in a place

Tyb.
Go fetche water I say at a worde
For it is tyme the pye were on the borde
And go with a vengeance/& say thou art prayde

syr. I.
A good gossyp/is that well sayde

Tyb.
Welcome myn owne swete harte
We shall make some chere or we departe

Ihān.
Cokkes soule/loke howe he approcheth nere
Unto my wyfe/this abateth my chere

syr. I.
By god I wolde ye had harde the tryfyls
The toys/the mokkes/the fables/and the nyfyls
That I made thy husbāde to beleue and thynke
Thou myghtest as well in to the erthe synke
As thou coudest forbeare laughyng any whyle

Tyb.
I pray the let me here parte of that wyle

syr. I.
Mary I shall tell the as fast as I can
But peas no more/yonder cometh thy good man

Ihān.
Cokkes soule/what haue we here
As far as I sawe/he drewe very nere
Unto my wyfe.

T.
What art come so sone
Gyue vs water to wasshe nowe/haue done

Than he bryngeth the payle empty
Ihān.
By kockes soule it was euen nowe full to ye brynk
But it was out agayne or I coude thynke
Wherof I marueled by god almyght
And than I loked betwene me and the lyght
And I spyed a clyfte/bothe large and wyde
Lo wyfe/here it is on the tone syde

tyb.
why dost not stop it.

I.
why howe shall I do it

tyb.
Take a lytle wax.

I.
Howe shal I come to it

syr. I.
Mary here be .ii. wax candyls I say
whiche my gossyp margery gaue me yesterday

Tyb.
Tusshe let hym alone/for by the rode
It is pyte to helpe hym or do hym good

syr. I.
what Ihān Ihān/canst thou make no shyfte
Take this waxe and stop therwith the clyfte

Ihān.
This waxe is as harde as any wyre

Tyb.
Thou must chafe it a lytle at the fyre

Ihān.
She yt broughte the these waxe candelles twayne
She is a good companyon certayn

Tyb.
what was it not my gossyp margery

syr. I.
Yes she is a blessed woman surely

tyb.
Nowe wolde god I were as good as she
For she is vertuous and full of charyte

Ihān.
Nowe so god helpe me/and by my holydome
She is the erranst baud betwene this and Rome

Tyb.
What sayst.

I.
Mary I chafe the wax
And I chafe it so hard/that my fyngers krakkes
But take vp this py/that I here torne
And it stand long/ywys it wyll borne

Tyb.
Ye but thou must chafe the wax I say

Ihān.
Byd hym syt down I the pray
Syt down good syr Iohan / I you requyre

Tyb.
Go I say and chafe the wax by the fyre
Whyle that we sup/syr Ihān and I

Ihān.
And how now/what wyll ye do with the py
Shall I not ete therof/a morsell

Tyb.
Go and chafe the wax/whyle thou art well
And let vs haue no more pratyng thus

syr. I.
Benedicite.

I.
Dominus.

Tyb.
Now go chafe the wax with a myschyfe

Ihān.
What I come to blysse the bord swete wyfe
It is my custome now and than
Mych good do it you/master syr Ihān

Tyb.
Go chafe the wax/and here no lenger tary

Ihān.
And is not this a very purgatory
To se folkes ete/and may not ete a byt
By kokkes soule/I am a very wodcok
This payle here/now a vengaunce take it
Now my wyfe gyueth me a proud mok

Tyb.
what dost.

I.
Mary I chafe the wax here
And I ymagyn/to make you good chere
That a vengaunce take you/both as ye syt
For I know well/I shall not ete a byt
But yet in feyth/yf I myght ete one morsell
I wold thynk the matter went very well

syr. I.
Gossyp Ihān Ihān/now mych good do it you
What chere make you/there by the fyre

Ihān.
Master ∥son/I thank yow now
I fare well inow/after myne own desyre

syr. I.
What dost Ihān Ihān/I the requyre

Ihān.
I chafe the wax here by the fyre

Tyb.
Here is good drynk/and here is a good py

syr. I.
We fare very well/thankyd be our lady

Tyb.
Loke how the kokold chafyth the wax that is hard
And for his lyfe/daryth not loke hetherward

syr. I.
What doth my gossyp.

I.
I chafe the wax
And I chafe it so hard/that my fyngers krakkes
And eke the smoke/puttyth out my eyes two
I burne my face/and ray my clothys also
And yet I dare nat say one word
And they syt laughyng/yender at the bord

Tyb.
Now by my trouth/it is a prety Iape
For a wyfe/to make her husband her ape
Loke of Ihān Ihān/which maketh hard shyft
To chafe the wax/to stop therwith the clyft

Ihān.
Ye that a vengeaunce/take ye both two
Both hym and the/and the and hym also
And that ye may choke/with the same mete
At the furst mursell/that ye do ete

Tyb.
Of what thyng now dost thou clatier
Ihān Ihān/or wherof dost thou patter

Ihān.
I chafe the wax/and make hard shyft
To stop her with/of the payll the ryftt

syr. I.
So must he do Ihān Ihān/by my father kyn
That is bound of wedlok in the yoke

Ihān.
Loke how the pyld preest crammyth in
That wold to god/he myght therwith choke

Tyb.
Now master ∥son/pleasyth your goodnes
To tell vs some tale/of myrth or sadnes
For our pastyme/in way of communycacyon

syr. I.
I am content to do it/for our recreacyon
And of .iii. myracles I shall to you say

Ihān.
What/must I chafe the wax all day
And stond here/rostyng by the fyre

syr. I.

Ihān.
Now in good soth/this is a wonderous myracle
But for your labour/I wolde that your tacle
Were in a skaldyng water well sod

Tyb.
Peace I say/thou lettest the worde of god

syr. I.
An other myracle eke I shall you say
Of a woman/whiche that many a day
Had ben wedded/and in all that season
She had no chylde/nother doughter nor son
Wherfore to saynt Modwin she went on pilgrimage
And offered there a lyue pyg/as is the vsage
Of the wyues that in London dwell
And through the vertue therof/truly to tell
Within a moneth after ryght shortly
She was delyuered of a chylde as moche as I
How say you/is not this myracle wonderous

Ihān.
Yes in good soth syr/it is maruelous
But surely after myn opynyon
That chylde was nother doughter nor son
For certaynly/and I be not begylde
She was delyuered of a knaue chylde

Tyb.
Peas I say for goddes passyon
Thou lettest syr Iohans cōmunication

syr. I.
The thyrde myracle also is this
I knewe another woman eke ywys
whiche was wedded/& within .v. monthis after
She was delyuered of a fayre doughter
As well formed in euery membre & ioynt
And as perfyte in euery poynt
As though she had gone .v. monthis full to thende
Lo here is .v. monthis of aduantage

Ihān.
A wonderous myracle so god me mende
I wolde eche wyfe that is bounde in maryage
And that is wedded here within this place
Myght haue as quicke spede in euery suche case

Tyb.
Forsoth syr Iohan/yet for all that
I haue sene the day that pus my cat
Hath had in a yere kytlyns eyghtene

Ihān.
Ye tyb my wyfe/and that haue I sene
But howe say you syr Ihān/was it good your pye
The dyuell the morsell/that therof eate I
By the good lorde this is a pyteous warke
But nowe I se well the olde prouerbe is treu
The parysshe preest forgetteth yt euer he was clarke
But syr Ihān doth not remembre you
How I was your clerke/& holpe you masse to syng
And bylde the basyn alway at the offryng
Ye neuer had halfe so good a clarke as I
But not withstankyng all this nowe our pye
Is eaten vp/there is not lefte a byt
And you two together there do syt
Eatynge and drynkynge at your owne desyre
And I am Iohan Ihān/ which must stāde by ye fyre
Chafyng the wax/and dare none other wyse do

syr. I.
And shall we alway syt here styll we two
yt were to mych.

T.
then ryse we out of this place

syr. I.
And kys me than in the stede of grace
And fare well leman and my loue so dere

Ihān.
Cokkes body this waxe it waxte colde agayn here
But what shall I anone go to bed
And eate nothyng nother meate nor brede
I haue not be wont to haue suche fare

Tyb.
Why were ye not serued there as ye are
Chafyng the waxe/standyng by the fyre

Ihān.
Why what mete gaue ye me/I you requyre

syr. I.
wast thou not serued/I pray the hertely
Both with the brede/the ale/and the pye

Ihān.
No syr I had none of that fare

Tyb.
why were ye not serued there as ye are
Standyng by the fyre chafyng the waxe

Ihān.
Lo here be many tryfyls and knakkes
By kokkes soule they wene I am other drōke or mad

Tyb.
And had ye no meate Iohan Iohan no had

Ihān.
No tyb my wyfe/I had not a whyt

Tyb.
what not a morsell.

I.
No not one byt
For honger I trowe I shall fall in a sowne

syr. I.
O that were pyte/I swere by my crowne

Tyb.
But is it trewe.

I.
Ye for a surete

Tyb.
Dost thou ly.

I.
No so mote I the

Tyb.
Hast thou had nothyng.

I.
No not a byt

Tyb.
Hast thou not dronke.

I.
No not a whyt

Tyb.
where wast thou.

I.
By the fyre I dyd stande

Tyb.
what dydyst.

I.
I chafed this waxe in my hande
where as I knewe of wedded men the payne
That they haue/and yet dare not complayne
For the smoke/put out my eyes two
I burned my face/and rayde my clothes also
Mendyng the payle/whiche is so rotten and olde
That it wyll not skant together holde
And syth it is so/and syns that ye twayn
Wold gyue me no meate/for my suffysaunce
By kokes soule I wyll take no lenger payn
Ye shall do all your self/with a very vengaunce
For me/and take thou there thy payle now
And yf thou canst mend it let me se how

Tyb.
A horson knaue hast thou brok my payll
Thou shalt repent/by kokes lylly nayll
Rech me my dystaf/or my clyppyng sherys
I shall make the blood ronne about his erys

Ihān.
Nay stand styll drab/I say and come no nere
For by kokkes blood/yf thou come here
Or yf thou onys styr/toward this place
I shall throw this shouyll full of colys in thy face

Tyb.
Ye horson dryuyll/get the out of my dore

Ihān.
Nay get thy out of my house/thou prestes hore

syr. I.
Thou lyest horson kokold/euyn to thy face

Ihān.
And thou lyest pyld preest/with an euyll grace

Tyb.
And yu lyest.

I.
& yu lyest.

syr.
& yu lyest agayn

Ihān.
By kokkes soule horson preest/thou shalt be slayn
Thou hast eate our pye/and gyue me nought
By kokkes blod it shalbe full derely bought

Tyb.
At hym syr Iohan/or els god gyue the sorow

Ihān.
& haue at your hore & thefe/saynt george to borow

Here they fyght by the erys a whyle & than the preest and the wyfe go out of the place.
Ihān.
A syrs I haue payd some of them euen as I lyst
They haue borne/many a blow with my fyst
I thank god/I haue walkyd them well
And dryuen them hens/but yet can ye tell
Whether they be go/for by god I fere me
That they be gon together he and she
Unto his chamber/and perhappys she wyll
Spyte of my hart/tary there styll
And peraduenture/there he and she
Wyll make me cokold/euyn to anger me
And then had I a pyg/in the woyrs panyer
Therfore by god/I wyll hye me thyder
To se yf they do me any vylany
And thus fare well this noble company.