 | Wily Beguilde |  |
A heauy purse makes a light heart: O the consideration
of this pouch, this pouch!
Why hee that has money, has hearts ease and
the world in a string.
O this red chink, and siluer coine, it is the consolation
of the World.
I can sit at home quietly in my chayre, and send out my angels
by sea, and by land, and bid fly villanes & fetch in ten
in the hundred, I and a better penny too. Let me see, I haue
but two children in al the world to bestow my goods vpon,
Fortunatus my son & Lelia my daughter. For my son, he followes
the wars, and that which he gets with swaggering, he
spendes in swaggering: but Ile curbe him, his allowance
whilest I liue shall bee small, and so hee shall bee sure not to
spend much: And if I die I will leaue him a portion, that
(if he will be a good husband and follow his fathers steps)
shall maintaine him like a gentleman: and if he will not, let
him follow his owne humor til he be weary of it, and so let
him go: now for my daughter she is my only ioy, & the staff
of my age, and I haue bestowed good bringing vp vpon hir
(barlady): why she is een modesty it self, it does me good to
look on hir. Now if I can harken out some wealthy mariage for hir, I haue my only desire.
Mas, and well remembred, heer's my neighbour Ploddall
hard by, has but one only sonne, and (let me see) I take it, his
Lands are better than fiue thousand pounds; now if I can
make a match betweene his sonne and my daughter, and so
vnion. Well Ile in, and get a Scriuener, Ile write, to him
about it presently: But stay heere come M. Churmes the
Lawer, Ile desire him to do so much.
Enter Churms.
Churms.
Good morrow M. Gripe.
Gripe.
O good morrow M. Churms.
What sayes my two debters, that I lent 200. pound to? wil
they not pay vse and charges of suit?
Churms.
Faith Sir I doubt they are bankrouts: I would
you had your principall.
Gripe.
Nay Ile haue all, or Ile imprison their bodies: but
M. Churms ther is a matter I would faine haue you do, but
you must be very secret.
Churms.
O sir feare not that Ile warrant you.
Gripe.
Why then this it is: my neighbour Ploddall hereby,
you know is a man of very faire Land, and hee has but
one son, vpon whom he means to bestow all that hee has:
Now I would make a match betweene my daughter Lelia
and him; what thinke you of it.
Churms.
Marrie I thinke twould be a good match, but
the young man has had very simple bringing vp.
Gripe.
Tush, what care I for that? so he haue lands and
liuing inough, my daughter has bringing vp will serue them
both. Now I would haue you to write me a Letter to goodman
Ploddall concerning this matter, and Ile please you for
your paines.
Churms.
Ile warrant you sir, Ile doe it artificially.
Gripe.
Doe, good M. Churms, but be very secret, I haue
some businesse this morning, and therefore Ile leaue you a
while, and if you will come to dinner to mee anone, you
shall be very heartily welcome.
Churms.
Thankes good sir Ile trouble you.
Now twere a good iest if I could cosen the olde Churle of
his daughter, and get the wench for my selfe.
Sounds I am as proper a man, as Peter Ploddall: and though
his father bee as good a man as mine, yet farre fetcht and
as farre as Cales to fetch that I haue.
I haue beene at Cambridge a Scholler, at Cales a Souldier,
and now in the Country a Lawyer, and the next degree shal be a Connicatcher:
For Ile goe neere to cosen olde father share-penny of his
daughter, Ile cast about Ile warrant him;
Ile go dine with him, and write him his Letter,
And then Ile go seek out my kind companion Robin Goodfellow,
and betwixt vs weele make hir yeeld to any thing.
Weele ha the common law oth to hand, and the ciuill lawe
oth tother:
Exit.
Enter olde Ploddall, and his son Peter, an olde man Ploddalls Tenant, and Wil Cricket his sonne.
Ploddall.
Ah Tenant, an ill husband (barlady); thrise at
thy house and neuer at home?
I must discharge you else.
Old man.
Alas Landlord, will you vndoe me? I sit of a
great rent alreadie, and am very poore.
Will. Cr.
Very poore? yare a very Asse. Lord how my
stomach wambles at that same word (very poore)! Father,
if you loue your sonne William, neuer name that same word very poore:
For Ile stand to it, that its pettilasseny to name very poore to
a man thats oth top of his marriage.
Old man.
Why son, art oth top of thy marriage, to whom
I prithee?
Will.
Marrie to prittie Peg, mistresse Lelias nurses daughter.
O tis the daprest wench that euer danc't after a Taber and pipe.
For shee will so heele it, and toe it, and trip it,
O hir buttockes will quake like a custard.
Why William, when were you with hir?
Wil.
O Peter does your mouth water at that?
Truly I was neuer with hir, but I know I shall speed.
For tother day she lookt on me and laught, and thats a good
signe (ye know): and therefore old siluer top, neuer talke of charging or discharging.
For I tell you I am my fathers heire: and if you discharge
me, Ile discharge my pestilence at you. For to let my house
before my lease be out, is cut-throatery: and to scrape for more rent is polepennery.
And so fare you well good Grandsire Vsury: come father
lets be gone.
Ploddall.
Well, Ile make the beggerly knaues to packe for this:
Ile haue it euery crosse, income and Rent too.
Enter Chr. with a Letr .
But stay here comes one: O tis M. Churms.
I hope he brings me some good newes.
M. Churms yare well met, I am een almost staru'd for money.
You must take some damnable course with my Tenants: theile not pay.
Churms.
Fayth Sir, they are growne to bee captious knaues.
But Ile mooue them with a Habeas corpus.
Ploddall.
Doe, good M. Churmes, or vse any other villenous course shall please you.
But what newes abroad?
Churms.
Faith little news: but heer's a Letter which M.
Gripe desired me to deliuer you. And though it stand not
with my reputatiō, to be a carrier of Letters, yet not knowing
how much it might concerne you, I thought it better
something to abase my selfe, then you should be any waies
hindered.
Ploddall.
Thankes good sir, and Ile in and reade it.
Exeunt Ploddall and his sonne. Manet Chu.
Churms.
Thus men of reach must looke to liue,
I cry content, and murder where I kisse,
Imparts to me the secrets of his heart;
And Ploddall thinkes I am as true a friend,
To euery enterprise he takes in hand,
As euer breath'd vnder the cope of heauen:
But damme me if they finde it so,
All this makes for my auaile,
Ile ha the wench my selfe, or else my wits shall faile.
Exit.
Enter Lelia and Nurse gathering of Flowers.
Lelia.
See how the earth (this fragrant spring) is clad,
And mantled round in sweete Nymph Floraes roabes.
Here growes th'alluring Rose,
Sweet Marigolds, and the louely Hyacinth:
Come Nurse, gather;
A crowne of Roses shall adorne my head,
Ile pranke my selfe with flowers of the prime,
And thus Ile spend away my primerose time.
Nurse.
Ruftie, tuftie, are you so frolicke?
O that you knew as much as I doe, twould coole you.
Lelia.
Why what know'st thou Nurse? prithee tell me.
Nurse.
Heauy newes yfaith mistresse,
You must be matcht & married to a husband; ha, ha, ha, ha,
a husband yfaith.
Lelia.
A Husband, Nurse? why thats good newes if hee
be a good one.
Nurse.
A good one quotha? ha, ha, ha, ha: why Woman
I heard your father say, that he would marrie you to
Peter Ploddall, that Puckefist, that snudge snowte, that
Cole carrierly Clowne. Lord, twould be as good as meate
and drinke to me, to see how the foole woulde wooe you.
Lelia.
No, no, my Father did but iest: thinkest thou that
I can stoope so lowe to take a browne bread crust, and wed
a Clowne thats brought vp at the Cart?
Nurse.
Cart quotha? I, heele cart you, for he cannot tell
how to court you.
Lelia.
Ah Nurse, sweet Sophos is the man,
This hart hath vow'd, (if heauens doe not denie,)
My loue with his intoomb'd in earth shall lye.
Nurse.
Peace Mistresse, stand aside, here comes some body.
Enter Sophos.
Sophos.
Optatis non est spes vlla potiri:
Yet Phœbus send downe thy tralucent beames,
Behold the earth that mournes in sad attire,
The flowers at Sophos presence gins to droope,
Whose trickling teares for Lelias losse
Do turne the Plains into a standing Poole:
Sweete Cynthia smile, cheere vp the drouping Flowers,
Let Sophos once more see a sunne-shine day,
O let the sacred center of my heart,
I meane faire Lelia Natures fairest worke,
Be once againe the obiect to mine eyes.
O but I wish in vaine, whilst hir I wish to see,
Hir Father he obscures hir from my sight,
He pleades my want of wealth,
And saies it is a barre in Venus Court.
How hath fond fortune by hir fatall doome,
Predestin'd me to liue in haplesse hopes,
Still turning false hir fickle wauering wheele!
And Loues faire goddesse, with hir Circian cup,
Inchanteth so fond Cupids poisoned darts,
That loue the only Loadstarre of my life,
Doth drawe my thoughts into a labyrinth,
But stay:
What do I see, what do mine eyes behold?
(O happie sight) it is faire Lelias face.
Haile heauens bright nymph the period of my grief,
Sole guidresse of my thoughts and author of my ioy.
Lelia.
Sweet Sophos welcome to Lelia,
Faire Dido Carthaginians beautious Queene,
Not halfe so ioyfull was when as the Troian Prince,
Enæas, landed on the sandie shores
To see her Sophos here arriu'd by chance.
Sophos.
And blest be chance that hath conducted me,
vnto the place where I might see my deare,
Nurse.
Sir, you may see that Fortune is your friend.
Sophos.
Yet Fortune fauours fooles.
Nurse.
By that conclusion you should not be wise.
Lelia.
Foule Fortune sometime smiles on vertue faire.
Sophos.
Tis then to shew her mutabilitie:
But since amidst ten thousand frowning threats
Of fickle fortunes thrice vnconstant wheele,
She daines to show one little pleasing smile,
Lets do our best false Fortune to beguile,
And take aduantage of her euer changing moodes.
See, see, how Tellus spangled mantle smiles,
And birds do chant their rurall sugred notes
As rauisht with our meetings sweet delights.
Since then ther fits for loue both time and place:
Let loue and liking hand in hand embrace.
Nurse.
Sir the next way to win her loue, is to linger her
leysure.
I measure my mistresse by my louely selfe, make a promise
to a man, and keep it, I haue but one fault, I neere made promise
in my life, but I sticke to it tooth and naile: Ile pay it home yfaith.
If I promise my loue a kisse, Ile giue him two: marrie at
first I will make nice, and crie fie, fie, and that will make him come againe and againe,
Ile make him breake his winde with come againes.
Sophos.
But what saies Lelia to her Sophos loue?
Lelia.
Ah Sophos, that fond blind boy,
That wrings these passions from my Sophos hart,
Hath likewise wounded Lelia with his dart,
And force perforce I yeeld the fortresse vp:
Here Sophos take thy Lelias hand,
And with this hand receiue a loyall hart.
Grant to our loue, a wisht felicitie.
Sophos.
As ioyes the wearie Pilgrim by the way,
When Phebus waues vnto the westerne deepe,
To sommon him to his desired rest:
Or as the poore distressed Mariner,
Long tost by shipwracke on the foming waues,
At length beholds the long wisht hauen,
Although from farre, his heart doth dance for ioy:
So Loues consent at length my mind hath eas'd,
My troubled thoughts, by sweet content are pleas'd.
Lelia.
My father recks not vertue,
But vowes to wed me to a man of wealth,
And sweares, his gold shall counterpoyse his worth;
But Lelia scorn's proud Mammon's golden mines,
And better likes of learnings sacred lore,
Then of fond Fortunes glistering mockeries:
But Sophos trie thy wits, and vse thy vtmost skill
To please my father, and compasse his good will.
Sophos.
To what faire Lelia wills, doth Sophos yeeld content,
Yet thats the troublous gulfe my silly ship must passe:
But were that venture harder to atchieue
Then that of Iason for the golden fleece,
I would effect it for sweet Lelias sake,
Or leaue my selfe as witnesse of my thoughts.
Nurse.
How say you by that, mistresse? heel doe any
thing for your sake.
Lelia.
Thankes gentle loue.
But least my father should suspect,
Whose iealous head with more than Argus eyes,
Doth measure euery gesture that I vse,
Ile in and leaue you here alone,
Adieu sweet friend vntill we meet againe,
Come Nurse follow me.
Exeunt Lelia and Nurse.
Sophos.
Farewell my loue, faire fortune be thy guide.
Now Sophos, now bethinke thy selfe
How thou maist win her fathers will to knit this happie knot.
And feare forbids to tell my fates to friend:
Well, Ile trie my Fortunes;
And finde out some conuenient time,
When as her fathers leysure best shal serue
To conferre with him about faire Lelias loue.
Exit Sophos,
Enter Gripe, olde Ploddall, Churms and Will. Cricket.
Gripe.
Neighbour Ploddall, and Master Churms, yare welcome to my house.
What newes in the Countrie, neighbour? you are a good
husband, you ha done sowing barley I am sure.
Ploddall.
Yes sir ant please you, a fornight since.
Gripe.
Master Churms, what saies my debters? can you
get any money of them yet?
Churms.
Not yet sir, I doubt they are scarce able to pay,
You must eene forbeare them a while, theyle exclaime on
you else.
Gripe.
Let them exclaime and hang and starue and beg,
let me ha my monie.
Ploddall.
Heres this good fellow too, Master Churms,
I must eene put him and his father ouer into your hands,
theyle pay me no Rent.
Will. Cric.
This good fellow quotha? I scorne that base,
broking, brabbling, brauling, bastardly, bottlenos'd, beetle-brow'd, bean-bellied name.
Why, Robin Goodfellow is this same cogging, petifogging, crackeropes Calue-skin companion:
Put me and my father ouer to him? olde Siluer top and you
had not put me before my father, I would ha—
Ploddall.
What woulst ha done?
Will.
I would haue had a snatch at you, that I would.
Churms.
What art a dogge?
Will.
No: if I had beene a dog, I would ha snapt of your
nose ere this, and so I should haue cosend the Diuell of a
Marriebone.
Come, come, let me end this controuersie.
Prithee go thy waies in, & bid the boy bring a cup of Sacke
here for my friends.
Will.
Would you haue a sacke Sir?
Gripe.
A way foole, a cup of Sacke to drinke.
Will.
O I had thought you would haue had a sacke to
haue put this law cracking cogfoystin, in stead of a paire of
stockes.
Gripe.
Away foole, get thee in I say.
Will.
Into the buttrie you meane?
Gripe.
I prithee doe.
Will.
Ile make your hogshead of Sack rue that word.
Gripe.
Neighbour Ploddall, I sent a Letter to you, by Master
Churms, how like you of the motion?
Ploddall.
Marrie I like wel of the motion: my sonne I tel
you is eene all the stay I haue: and all my care is, to haue him
take one that hath something: for as the world goes now, if they haue nothing they may begge.
But I doubt hees too simple for your daughter. For I haue
brought him vp hardly, with brown bread, fat bacon, puddinges
and souce, and (barlady) wee thinke it good
fare too.
Gripe.
Tush man, I care not for that, you ha no more children:
youle make him your heire, and giue him your lands,
will you not?
Ploddall.
Yes, hees eene all I haue, I haue no body else to
bestow it vpon.
Gripe.
You say well.
Enter Wil. Cricket and a Boy with Wine and a napkin.
Wil.
Nay here, you drinke afore you bargaine.
Gr.
Mas, an tis a good motion:
Boy, fill some wine.
He fills thē wine & giues them the napkin.
Here Neighbour and M. Churms I drink to you.
Both.
We thanke you Sir.
Lawer wipe cleane: do you remember?
Churms.
Remember, why?
Wil.
Why since you know when.
Churms.
Since when?
Wil.
Why since you were bumbasted, that your lubberly
legges would not carrie your lob cocke bodie;
When you made an infusion of your stinking excrements, in your stalking implements:
O you were plaguy frayd, and fowly raide.
Gripe.
Prithee peace Will. Neighbour Ploddall, what say
you to this match: shall it go forward?
Ploddall.
Sir, that must be as our children like.
For my sonne, I thinke I can rule him:
Marrie, I doubt your daughter will hardly like of him, for
God wot hees very simple.
Gripe.
My daughters mine to command, haue I not
brought her vp to this?
Ile giue her pounds and crownes, gold and siluer:
Ile way her downe in pure angell gold,
Say man, ist a match?
Ploddall.
Faith, I agree.
Churms.
But Sir, if you giue your daughter so large a
dowrie, youle haue some part of his land conueied to her
by iointure.
Gripe.
Yes marrie that I will:
And weele desire your helpe for conueiance.
Ploddall.
I, good Master Churms, and you shall be very
well contented for your paines.
Will.
I marrie, thats it he lookt for all this while.
Churms.
Sir, I will do the best I can.
Will.
But Landlord: I can tell you newes yfaith,
There is one Sophos, a braue genman, heele wipe your sonne
Peters nose, of Mistresse Lelia, I can tell you he loues her
well.
Gripe.
Nay, I trow:
Will.
Yes I know, for I am sure I saw them close together
Gripe.
But I am sure she loues not him.
Will.
Nay, I dare take it on my death she loues him,
For hees a scholler: and ware schollers, they haue tricks for
loue yfaith, for with a little Logicke & pitome colloquium
theile make a wench do any thing:
Landlord, pray ye be not angrie with me, for speaking my conscience.
In good faith, your sonne Peters a verie Clowne to him:
Why, hees as fine a man as a wench can see in a sommers
day.
Gripe.
Well, that shall not serue his tourne, Ile crosse
him, I warrant ye.
Sophos? why, whats Sophos? a base fellow.
Indeed he has a good wit, and can speake well,
Hees a scholler forsooth: one that has more wit then mony,
And I like not that: he may beg for all that.
Schollers? why, what are schollers without money?
Ploddall.
Faith, eene like puddings without suet.
Gripe.
Come, Neighbour, send your sonne to my house,
For he shall be welcome to me:
And my daughter shall intertaine him kindly.
What? I can, and will rule Lelia.
Come lets in, Ile discharge Sophos from my house presently.
Exeunt Gripe and Ploddall and Churms.
Will.
A horne plague of this money,
For it causes many hornes to bud:
And for money many men are hornd.
For when maids are forc't to loue where they like not,
It makes them lye where they should not.
Ile be hangd, if ere mistresse Lelia will ha Peter Ploddall,
I sweare by this button cap (do you marke)
And by the round, sound, and profound contents (do you vnderstand)
Of this costly Codpeece, (being a good proper man as yee
see) that I could get her as soone as he, my selfe:
I would haue a fling at her thats flat:
But I must set a good holiday face ont,
And go a wooeing to prittie Pegge: well, Ile too her yfaith
While tis in my mind But stay, Ile see how I can woo before
I goe: they say, Vse makes perfectnesse:
Now I set my cap oth to side on this fashion (do ye see?)
then say I,
Whose face more faire, then Brocke my fathers Cow,
Whose eyes do shine like bacon rine,
Whose lips are blew of azure hew,
Whose crooked nose downe to her chin doth bow.
For you know I must begin to commend her beautie,
And then I will tell her plainely, that I am in loue with her,
ouer my high shooes, and then I will tell her that I do nothing
of nights but sleepe and thinke on her, and specially
of mornings:
And that does make my stomacke so rise, that Ile be sworn,
I can turne me three or foure bowles of porredge ouer in a
morning afore breakefast.
Enter Robin-Goodfellow.
Robin Goodfellow.
How now sirra, what make you here,
with all that timber in your necke?
Will.
Timber? Sounds, I thinke he be a witch,
How knew he this were Timber?
Mas Ile speake him faire, and get out ons companie: for I
am afraid on him.
Robin.
Speake man, what art afraid? what makest here?
Will.
A poore fellow Sir, ha bin drinking two or three
pots of ale at an alehouse, and ha lost my way Sir.
Robin.
O, nay then I see thou art a good fellow,
Seest thou not Master Churms the Lawer to day?
Will.
No Sir, would you speake with him.
Robin.
I marrie would I.
If I see him, Ile tell him you would speake with him.
Robin.
Nay, prithee stay, who wilt thou tell him would
speake, with him?
Will.
Marrie you Sir.
Robin.
I, who am I?
Will.
Faith Sir I know not.
Robin.
If thou seest him, tell him Robin Goodfellow wold
speake with him.
Will.
O, I will Sir.
Exit. Wil. Cr.
Robin.
Mas, the fellow was afraid,
I play the Bugbeare wheresoere I come,
And make them al afraid,
But here comes Master Churms.
Enter Churms.
Churms.
Fellow Robin, God saue you, I haue beene seeking
for you in euerie Ale-house, in the Towne.
Robin.
What, Master Churms? Whats the best newes abroad?
tis long since I see you.
Churms.
Faith little newes: but yet I am glad I haue met
with you.
I haue a matter to impart to you, wherein you may stand
me in some stead, and make a good benefit to your selfe: if
we can deale cunningly, twill be worth a double fee to you,
(by the Lord.)
Robin.
A double fee? speakeman, what ist?
If it be to betray mine owne father, Ile doot for halfe a fee:
And for cunning let me alone.
Churms.
Why, then this it is.
Here is Master Gripe hard by, a Clyent of mine, a man of
mightie wealth, who has but one daughter, her Dowrie is
her waight in gold.
Now Sir, this old penny father would marry her, to one
Peter Ploddall, rich Ploddalls sonne and heire.
Yet hees a verie Idiot and Browne bread Clowne:
And though their friends haue giuen their full consent,
And both agreed on this vnequall match.
Yet I know that Lelia wil neuer marrie him:
But theres another riuall, in hir loue, one Sophos,
And hees a Scholler,
One whom I thinke faire Lelia dearely loues,
But hir Father hates him as he hates a toad,
For hees in want, and Gripe gapes after golde,
And still relies vpon the olde sayd Saw;
Si nihil attuleris &c.
Robin.
And wherein can I doe you good in this?
Churms.
Marrie thus Sir:
I am of late growne passing familiar with M. Gripe,
And for Ploddall he takes me for his second selfe;
Now Sir, Ile fit my selfe to the olde crummy Churls humors,
and make them belieue Ile perswade Lelia to marry
Peter Ploddall, and so get free accesse to the wench at my
pleasure:
Now oth other side Ile fall in with the Scholler, and him Ile
handle cunningly too;
Ile tell him that Lelia has acquainted me with hir loue to
him:
He mewes hir vp as men do mew their hawkes,
And so restraines hir from hir Sophos sight.
Ile say, because she doth repose more trust,
Of secrecie in me, then in another man,
In courtesie she hath requested me,
To do hir kindest greetings to hir Loue,
Robin.
An excellent deuise, yfaith.
Churms.
I Sir, and by this meanes, Ile make a very gull of
my fine Diogenes.
I shall knowe his secrets euen from the very bottome of his
heart:
Nay more Sir, you shall see me deale so cunningly, that he
shall make me an instrument to compasse his desire;
Quidissimulare nescit, neseit viuere.
Robin.
Why this will be sport alone,
But what would you haue me doe in this action?
Churmes.
Marry as I play with to hand, play you with tother.
Fall you aboard with Peter Ploddall,
Make him belieue youle worke miracles,
And that you haue a powder will make Lelia loue him.
Nay what wil he not belieue, and take all that comes (you
know my mind)
And so weele make a gull of the one, and a goose of the other.
And if wee can inuent any deuise, to bring the scholler in
disgrace with hir: I doe not doubt but with your helpe to
creep between the bark and the tree, and get Lelia my selfe.
Robin.
Tush man, I haue a deuise in my head already to
doe that:
Churms.
Tuthees out of the Countrey,
He followes the drumme and the flagge.
He may chance to be kild with a double Canon before hee come home againe:
Robin.
Marrie Ile do this;
Ile frame an Inditement against Sophos, in manner and
forme of a Rape, and the next Law day you shall preferre
it; that so Lelia may loath him,
And the young Gallant hir brother vtterly forsake him.
Churms.
But how shall we prooue it?
Robin.
Sounds weele hire some Strumpet or other to be
sworne against him.
Churms.
Now (by the substance of my soule) tis an excellent
deuise.
Well, lets in, Ile first try my cunning otherwise, and if all
faile, weele trie this conclusion.
Exeunt.
Mother M.
Yfaith Marget you must eene take your
daughter Pegge home againe,
Nurse.
Why Mother? what will she not doe?
Mother M.
Faith she neither did nor does, nor will do any thing:
Send hir tuth market with egs: sheele sell them and spend the money,
Set hir to make a pudding, sheele put in no suet,
Sheele run out of nights a dancing, and come no more home till day peepe:
Bid hir come to bed, sheele come when she list.
Ah tis a nastie shame to see hir bringing vp.
Nurse.
Out you Rogue, you arrant &c.
What know'st not thy Granam?
I know hir to be a teatie olde foole,
Shees neuer well, grunting in a corner.
Mother M.
Nay sheele campe (I warrant ye) O she has a tongue.
But Marget eene take hir home to your Mistresse, and there
keepe hir: for He keepe hir no longer.
Nurse.
Mother pray yee take some paines with hir, and
keep hir a while longer; and if she doe not mend, Ile beat
hir blacke and blew, yfaith Ile not faile you Minion.
Mother. M.
Faith at thy request, Ile take hir home and
try hir a weeke longer.
Nurse.
Come on huswife please you Granam, and bee a
good wench, and you shall ha my blessing.
Mother M.
Come follow vs good Wench.
Exeunt Moth. Mid. and Nurse: Manet Peg.
Pegge.
I, farewell, faire weather after you,
Your blessing quotha? Ile not giue a single halpennie fort,
Who would liue vnder a Mothers nose & a Granams tong?
A Maid cannot loue, or catch a lip clip, or a lap clap, but
heers such tittle tattle, and doe not so, and be not so light,
and be not so fond, and do not kisse, and do not loue, and
And I must loue an I hang fort:
A sweet thing is loue
[Shee singes.
That rules both heart and mind,
There is no comfort in the World
To Women that are kinde.
Well Ile not stay with hir: stay quotha?
To be yold and iold at, and tumbled, and tumbled, and tost
and tourn'd as I am by an olde Hagge,
[Enter Will Cricket.]
But stay, I must put on my smirking lookes and smiling countenance.
For here comes one makes bominatiō suit to be my sprus husband.
Will.
Lord, that my heart would serue me to speake to
hir, now she talks of hir sprus'd husband.
Now Ile clap me as close to hir as Iones buttockes of a close
stoole, and come ouer hir with my rowling, rattling, rumbling
eloquence.
Sweet Pegge, honny Pegge, fine Pegge, daintie Pegge, braue
Pegge, kind Pegge, comely Pegge, my nutting, my sweeting,
my Loue, my doue, my honnie, my bonnie, my ducke, my
deare and my deareling:
And loue without delay:
And cast not with thy crabbed lookes
A properman awaie.
Pegge.
Why William whats the matter?
Will.
Whats the matter quotha?
Faith I ha been in a faire taking, for you, a bots on you.
For tother day after I had seene you, presently my belly began to rumble:
Whats the matter, thought I?
With that I bethought my selfe, and the sweete comportenance
mind:
Out went I, and Ile bee sworne I was so neere taken, that I
was faine to cut all my points.
It thou dost not grant mee thy good will in the way of marriage;
First and formost Ile run out of my cloathes, and then out of
my wits for thee.
Pegge.
Nay William I would bee loth you should doe so
for me.
Will.
Will you looke merrily on me and loue me then?
Pegge.
Faith I care not greatly if I doe.
Will.
Care not greatly if I doe? what an answers that?
If thou wilt say, I Pegge take thee William to my spruce
husband.
Peg.
Why so I wil, but we must haue more company for
witnesses first.
Will.
That needes not: heers good store of yong men &
maides here.
Pegge.
Why then heers my hand.
Will.
Faith thats honestly spoken: say after me.
I Pegge Pudding promise thee William Cricket,
That Ile hold thee for mine owne sweet Lilly,
While I haue an head in mine eye, and a face on my nose, a
mouth in my tongue, and all that a woman should haue,
from the crowne of my foote, to the sole of my head,
Ile claspe thee and clip thee, coll thee and kisse thee,
Till I be better then naught, and worse than nothing:
When thou art ready to sleepe, Ile be ready to snort:
When thou art in health, Ile be in gladnesse:
When thou art sick, Ile be ready to dy:
When thou art mad, Ile run out of my wits:
And thereupon I strike the good lucke,
Well sayd yfaith:
O I could find in my hose to pocket thee in my heart.
Come my heart of golde, lets haue a daunce at the making
Strike vp Tom Piper.
They dance.
Come Pegge Ile take the paines to bring thee homeward,
And at twylight, looke for me againe.
Exeunt.
Enter Robin Goodfellow, and P. Ploddall.
Robin.
Come hither my honest friend: M. Churms tolde
me you had a suit to me,
Peter.
Pray ye Sir is your name Robin Goodfellow?
Robin.
My name is Robin Goodfellow.
Peter.
Marrie Sir I heare yare a very cunning man Sir;
And sir reuerence of your worship Sir, I am going a woeing
to one M. Lelia a Gentlewoman here hard by,
Pray ye Sir tel me how I should be haue my selfe, to get hir
to my wife.
Now if you can tell mee, how I should wipe his nose of hir,
I would bestow a fee of you.
Robin.
Let mee seet, and thou shalt see what Ile say to thee.
He giues him money.
Well, follow my counsaile and Ile warrant thee,
Ile giue thee a loue powder for thy wench,
And a kinde of Nux vomica in a potion, shall make hir
come off yfaith.
Peter.
Shall I trouble you so farre to take some paines with me?
I am loth to haue the dodge.
Robin.
Tush feare not the dodge;
Ile rather put on my flashing red nose, and my flaming
face, and come wrapt in a Calue skin and crie bo ho:
But first go to hir, try what thou canst doe,
Perhaps sheele loue thee without any further a doe,
But thou must tell hir, thou hast a good stocke, some 100
or 200. a yeare, & that will set hir hard I warrant thee.
For bith Mas, I was once in good comfort to haue cosend a
Wench:
I tolde hir I had a hundred pound land a yeare, in a place
where I haue not the breadth of my little finger.
I promised hir to infeoffe hir in 40. pounds a yeare of it: &
I think of my conscience, if I had had but as good a face as
thine,
I should haue made hir haue curst the time that euer she see
mee.
And thou shalt triumph mightily.
Peter.
I need not do so, for I may say and say true,
I haue lands and liuing inough for a countrey fellow.
Robin.
Barlady so had not I, I was faine to ouerreach as
many times I doe.
But now experience has taught me so much craft, that I excell
in cunning.
Peter.
Well Sir, then Ile be bold to trust your cunning,
And so Ile bid you farewell and goe forward,
Ile too hir, thats flat.
Robin.
Do so: and let me heare how you speede.
Peter.
That I will Sir.
Exit Peter.
Robin.
Well, a good beginning makes a good end,
Heers ten groats for doing nothing,
I con M. Churmes thankes for this,
For this was his deuise:
And therefore Ile goe seeke him out, and giue him a quart of wine.
And know of him how he deales with the scholler.
Exit.
Enter Churmes and Sophos.
Churmes.
Why? looke you Sir, by the Lord I can but
wonder at hir Father,
And though your wealth be not answerable to his;
Yet by heauens I thinke you are worthy to doe farre better
Sophos.
The great Tartarian Emperour Tamor Cham,
Ioyd not so much in his imperiall Crowne,
As Sophos ioyes in Lelias hop't-for loue,
Whose lookes would pierce an Adamantine heart,
And make the proud beholders stand at gaze,
To draw Loues picture from hir glancing eye.
Chur.
And I wil stretch my wits vnto the highest straine
To further Sophos in his wisht desires.
Sophos.
Thankes gentle Sir.
[Enter Gripe.]
But truce a while, here comes hir Father,
I must speake a word or two with him.
[speakes to himselfe.]
Churms.
I heele giue you your answere (I warrant ye)
Sophos.
God saue you Sir.
Gripe.
O Mr. Sophos: I haue longd to speake with you a great while,
I heare, you seeke my daughter Lelias loue,
I hope you will not seeke to dishonest me, nor disgrace my daughter.
Sophos.
No Sir: a man may aske a yea,
A Woman may say nay,
Shee is in choice to take hir choice:
Yet I must confesse I loue Lelia.
Gripe.
Sir I must be plaine with you: I like not of your loue,
Lelias mine, Ile choose for Lelia,
And therefore I would wish you not to frequent my house
any more,
Its better for you to ply your booke, and seeke for some
preferment that way, than to seeke for a wife before you
know how to maintaine hir.
Sophos.
I am not rich, I am not very poore,
I neither want nor euer shall exceede,
The meane is my content, I liue twixt two extreames.
Gripe.
Well, well, I tell yee, I like not ye should come to
my house, and presume so proudly to match your poore
pedigree with my daughter Lelia, and therefore I charge
house:
I like not this learning without liuing, I.
Sophos.
He needs must goe that the diuell driues.
Sic virtus fine Censulanguet.
Exit Sophos.
Gripe.
O Ma. Churms, cry you mercy Sir, I saw not you:
I think I haue sent the scholler away with a flea in his eare.
I trow heele come no more at my house.
Churms.
No, for if he doe you may indite him for comming
of your ground.
Gripe.
Wel, now Ile home, and keepe in my daughter,
She shal neither go to him, nor send to him,
Ile watch her (Ile warrant her,)
Before God Master Churms, it is the peeuishest girle, that euer
I knew in my life, shee will not be rul'd I doubt.
Pray ye sir, do you indeuour to perswade her to take Peter
Ploddall.
Churms.
I warrant ye, Ile perswade her: feare not.
Exeunt.
Enter Lelia and Nurse.
Lelia.
What sorrow seiseth on my heauy heart?
Consuming care possesseth euerie part:
Heart-sad Erinnis keeps his mansion Here,
Within the Closure of my wofull breast;
And blacke despaire with Iron Scepter stands,
And guides my thoughts, downe to his hatefull Cell.
The wanton windes with whistling murmure beare
My pearcing plaints along the desert plaines,
And woods and groues do eccho forth my woes,
The earth below relents in Crystall teares,
When heauens aboue by some malignant course
Of fatall starres are authors of my griefe.
Fond Loue, go hide thy shafts in Follies den,
And let the world forget thy Childish force,
That he may helpe to sympathize these plaints
That wring these teares from Lelias weeping eyes.
Nurse.
Why, how now Mistresse; what, is it loue that
makes you weepe, and tosse and tourne so a nights when
you are in bed?
Lelia.
I, thats the point, that pearceth to the quicke,
Would Atropos would cut my vitall threed
And so make lauish of my loathed life:
Or gentle heauens would smile with faire aspect,
And so giue better fortunes to my loue.
Why, ist not a plague to be a prisoner to mine own father?
Nurse.
Yes, ants a shame for him to vse you so too.
But be of good cheare Mistresse: Ile go to Sophos euery day
Ile bring you tidings and tokens too from him (Ile warrant
yee,) and if he wil send you a kisse or two, Ile bring it,
let me alone, I am good at a dead lift.
Why, hees a man as one should picture him in waxe.
But Mistresse, out vpons, wipe your eyes.
For here comes another wooer.
Enter Peter Ploddall.
Peter.
Mistresse Lelia, God speed you.
Lelia.
Thats more then we neede at this time, for we are
doing nothing.
Peter.
I were as good say a good word as a bad.
Lelia.
But its more wisedome to say nothing at all, then
speake to no purpose.
Peter.
My purpose is to wiue you.
Lelia.
And mine, is neuer to wed you.
Peter.
Belike, yare in loue with some body else.
Nurse.
No, but shees lustily promis'd:
Heare you: you with long rifle by your side, do you lacke
a wife?
Peter.
Call you this a rifle? its a good backe sword.
Nurse.
Why, then you with backe sword, lets see your
backe.
Nay, I must speake with Mistresse Lelia before
I goe.
Lelia.
What would you with me?
Peter.
Marry, I haue heard verie wel of you, and so has
my father too.
And if you haue any minde of marriage,
I hope I shal maintaine you as wel as any husbandmans
wife in the Countrie.
Nurse.
Maintaine her with what?
Peter.
Marrie, with my Lands and liuings my father has
promis'd me.
Lelia.
I haue heard much of your wealth: but I neuer,
knew your manners before now.
Peter.
Faith, I haue no Mannors, but a prittie homestall,
and we haue great store of Oxen, and Horses, and Carts,
and Plowes, and houshold stuffe bomination:
And great flocks of sheepe, and flocks of Geese, and Capons,
and Hens, and Duckes; O, we haue a fine yarde of
Pullen,
And thanke God: heres a fine weather for my fathers
Lambes.
Lelia.
I cannot liue content in discontent.
For as no musicke can delight the eares,
Where all the parts of Discords are composed:
So wedlocke bands will still consist in iarres,
Where in condition theres no sympathie.
Then rest your selfe contented with this answere,
I cannot loue.
Peter.
Its no matter what you say. For my father tolde
me thus much before I came, that you would be something
nice at first: but he bad me like you nere the worse for that;
for I were the liker to speede.
Lilea.
Then you were best leaue of your suit till some other
time: and when my leasure serues me to loue you, Ile
send you word.
Peter.
Will you? well then Ile take my leaue of you, and
paines.
But stay: Gods death, I had almost forgot my selfe.
Prayce let me kisse your hand ore I goe.
Nurs.
Faith Mistresse, his mouth runs a water for a kisse:
a little would serue his turne belike.
Lelia.
Ile not sticke for that.
He kisseth her hand.
Peter.
Mistresse Lelia, God be with you.
Lelia.
Farewell Peter.
Exit Peter.
Thus Lucre, set in golden Chaire of state,
When learning's bid, Stand by, and keepes a loofe:
This greedie humor fits my fathers vaine,
Who gapes for nothing but for golden gaine.
Enter Chur.
Nurse.
Mistresse take heede you speake nothing that
will beare action, for here comes Master Churms the Pettifogger.
Churms.
Mistresse Lelia rest you merrie,
Whats the reason you and your Nurse walke here all
alone?
Lelia.
Because, Sir, wee desire no other companie but
our owne.
Churms.
Would I were then your owne,
That I might keepe you companie.
Nurse.
O Sir, you and hee that is her owne are farre asunder.
Churms.
But if shee please, we may be neerer.
Lelia.
That cannot bee: mine owne is neerer then my selfe.
And yet my selfe, alas, am not mine owne:
Thoughts, feares, despaires, tenne thousand dreadfull dreames:
Those are mine owne, and these do keepe me companie.
Churms.
Before God, I must confesse, your father is too cruell,
To keepe you thus sequestred from the world,
To spend your prime of youth thus in obscuritie,
That knowes not how to vse himselfe:
Could my deserts but answere my desires,
I sweare by Sol faire Phœbus siluer eye,
My heart would wish no higher to aspire,
Then to be grac't with Lelias loue.
By Iesus, I cannot play the dissembler,
And wooe my loue with courting ambages,
Like one whose loue hangs on his smooth tongues ende,
But in a word, I tell the summe of my desires,
I loue faire Lelia.
By her my passions daily are increas'd,
And I must die, vnlesse by Lelias loue they be releas'd.
Lelia.
Why Master Churms, I had thought you had been
my fathers great Counsellor in all these actions.
Churms.
Nay, Damne me if I be:
By heauens, sweet Nymph I am not.
Nurse.
Master Churms, you are one can doe much with
her father: and if you loue her as you say, perswade him to
vse her more kindly, and giue her libertie to take her choise,
for these made mariages prooue not well.
Churms.
I protest I will.
Lelia.
So Lelia shal accept thee as her friend:
Meanewhile, Nurse lets in:
My long absence I know, will make my father muse.
Exeunt Lelia and Nurse.
Churms.
So Lelia shal accept thee as her friend?
Who can but ruminate vpon these words?
Would she had said, her loue:
But tis no matter: first creepe and then goe,
Now her friend: the next degree is Lelias loue.
Well, Ile perswade her father to let her haue a little more libertie.
But soft: Ile none of that neither,
So the Scholler may chance cosen me.
Perswade him to keepe her in still:
And before sheele haue Peter Ploddall, sheele haue any bodie
Why Ile warrant ye, sheele be glad to run away with me at
length.
Hang him, that has no shifts.
I promis'd Sophos, to further him in his suite:
But if I do, Ile be peckt to death with hens.
I swore to Gripe, I would perswade Lelia, to loue Peter Ploddall.
But God forgiue me, twas the furthest ende of my thought.
Tut, whats an othe? euerie man for himselfe.
Ile shift for one, I warrant ye.
Exit.
Enter Fortunatus, Solus.
Fortu.
Thus haue I past the beating billows of the sea,
By Ithacs rocks, and watry Neptunes bounds,
And wafted safe, from Mars his bloudie fields
Where trumpets sound Tantara to the fight,
And here arriu'd for to repose my selfe,
Vpon the borders of my natiue soyle.
Now Fortunatus bend thy happie course,
Vnto thy fathers house, to greet thy dearest friends.
And if that still thy aged sire suruiue
Thy presence wil reuiue his drouping sprites,
And cause his withered cheekes bee sprent with youthfull bloud,
Where death of late was portraid to the quicke.
But soft, who comes here?
(Stand aside.)
Enter Robin Goodfellow.
Robin.
I wonder I heare not of Master Churms,
I would faine know how he speedes,
And what successe he has in Lelias loue:
Well, if he cousen the Scholler of her,
T would make my worship laugh:
And if he haue her, hee may say god a mercy Robin Goodfellow.
O ware a good head as long as you liue.
Why, Master Gripe he casts beyond the moone,
And Churms is the only man, he puts in trust with his daughter,
and (Ile warrant) the old Churle would take it vpon his
saluation, that he wil perswade her to marry Peter Ploddall:
Ile looke him ith face and picke his purse,
Whil'st Churms cosen him of his wench,
And my old gandsir Holdfast of his daughter.
And if he can do so:
Ile teach him a tricke to cosen him of his gold too.
Now for Sophos, let him weare the willow garland,
And play the melancholie Malecontent
And plucke his hat downe in his sullen eyes,
And thinke on Lelia, in these desert groues:
Tis ynough for him to haue her, in his thoughts;
Although he nere imbrace her in his armes.
But now, theres a fine deuise comes in my head,
To scarre the Scholler:
You shall see, Ile make fine sport with him.
They say, that euery day he keepes his walke
Amongst these woods and melancholy shades,
And on the barke of euerie senselesse tree
In graues the tenour of his haples hope.
Now when hees at Venus altar at his Orisons;
Ile put me on my great carnation nose
And wrap me in a rowsing Calueskin suite,
And come like some Hob goblin or some diuell,
Ascended from the griesly pit of hell:
And like a Scarbabe make him take his legges:
Ile play the diuel, I warrant ye.
Exit Robin Goodf.
Fortunatus.
And if you do: (by this hand) Ile play the coniurer.
Blush Fortunatus, at thy base conceit,
To stand aloofe, like one thats in a trance,
And with thine eyes behold that miscreant Impe
(Whose tongue more venome then the serpents sting)
Before thy face thus taunt thy dearest friends,
I, thine owne father with reproachful tearmes,
And learned Sophos, thy thrice vowed friend,
Is made a stale by this base cursed Crew
And damned den of vagrant runagates.
But here in sight of sacred heauens I sweare,
By all the sorrowes of the Stygian soules,
By Mirs his bloudie blade and faire Bellonas bowers
I vow, these eyes shal nere behold my fathers face,
These feete shall neuer passe these desert plaines:
But Pilgrim like Ile wander in these woods
Vntill I find out Sophos secret walkes,
And sound the depth of all their plotted drifts,
Nor will I cease vntill these hands reuenge
Th'iniurious wrong thats offred to my friend,
Vpon the workers of this stratageme.
Exit.
Enter Pegge, Sola.
Pegge.
Yfaith, yfaith, I cannot tell what to doe,
I loue, and I loue, and I cannot tell whoe, Out vpon this
loue.
For what you what? I haue suitors comes huddle, twoes vpon
twoes, and threes vpon threes, and what thinke you
troubles me?
I must chat and kisse with all commers, or else noe bargaine.
Enter Wil Cricket, and kisses hir.
Will.
A bargain yfaith: ha my sweet honnie sops how
doost thou?
Pegge.
Well I thanke you William, now I see y are a man
of your word.
Will.
A man of my word quotha? why I nere broke promise
in my life that I kept.
Pegge.
No William I know you did not,
But I had thought you had forgotten me.
Will.
Dost heare Pegge? if ere I forget thee,
I pray God I may neuer remember thee.
Peace here comes my Granam Midnight.
Enter Mother Midnight.
Mother M.
What Pegge? what ho? what Pegge I say?
what Pegge my wench?
Pegge.
Here Granam, at your elbow.
Moth. M.
What mak'st here this twatter light?
I thinke thart in a dreame,
I thinke the foole haunts thee.
Will.
Sounds, foole in your face: foole? O monstrous intitulation:
Foole? O disgrace to my person: sounds, foole not me, for I
cannot brooke such a colde rasher I can tell you; giue me
but such an other word, and Ile be thy tooth-drawer een of
thy butter tooth, thou toothlesse trot thou.
Moth. M.
Nay William pray ye be not angry, you
must beare with olde folkes,
They be olde and teastie, hot and hastie: set not your wit
against mine William,
VVill.
Well, your good words haue something laide my coller.
But Granam shall I be so bolde to come to your house now
and then to keep Pegge company?
Moth. M.
I, and beshrowe thy good heart and thou doost not,
Come, and weele haue a piece of a barley bagpudding or something,
And thou shalt be very heartily welcome that thou shalt,
And Pegge shall bid thee welcome too: pray ye maide bid
him welcome and make much on him, for by my vay hees
a good proper springold
Pegge.
Granam: if you did but see him dance twoulde
doe your heart good:
Lord, twould make any bodie loue him, to see how finely
heele foote it.
Moth. M.
VVilliam, prithee goe home to my house
the way, againe another time.
VVill.
Come on Granam, Ile man you home yfaith:
Come Pegge.
Exeunt.
Enter Gripe, olde Ploddall, and his sonne Peter and Churmes the Lawyer.
Pleddal.
Come hither Peter, hold vp your head: wheres
your cap and leg fir boy, ha?
Peter.
By your leaue master Gripe.
Gripe.
Welcome Peter, giue me thy hand: thart welcome;
Barlady, this a good proper tall fellow, Neighbour? call you
him a boy?
Ploddall.
A good prittie squat square spring old Sir.
Gripe.
Peter, you ha seene my daughter I am sure: how
do you like hir?
Peter.
Faith I like hir well, and I haue broken my mind
to hir, and she would say neither I nor no;
For she let me kisse hir hand and bad Farewel Peter.
And therfore I thinke I am like enough to speed: how think
you Master Churms?
Churms.
Marry I thinke so too,
For shee did show no token of any dislike of your motion,
did she?
Peter.
No not a whit Sir.
Churms.
Why, then I warrant ye:
For we hold in our Law, that Idem est non apparere & non esse.
Gripe.
Maister Churms, I pray you do so much as call
my daughter hither,
I wil make her sure here to Peter Ploddall, and Ile desire you
to be a witnesse.
Churms.
With all my heart Sir.
Gripe.
Before God, neighbour, this same Master Churms
is a very good Lawer: for Ile warrant, you cannot speake
Ploddall.
Marrie eene the more ioy on him,
And hees one that I am very much beholding to:
But here comes your daughter.
Enter Churms, Lelia and Nurse.
Lelia.
Father did you send for me?
Gripe.
I wench I did, come hither Lelia, giue mee thy hand.
Mr. Churms, I pray you beare witnesse,
I here giue Lelia to P. Ploddall.
She pluckes away hir hand.
How now?
Nurse.
Sheele none she thankes you Sir.
Gripe.
Will she not? why how now I say?
What? you pewling peeuish thing, you vntoward baggage?
Will you not be rul'd by your Father?
Haue I tane care to bring you vp to this?
And will you do as you list?
Away I say, hang, starue, begge; be gone, packe I say:
out of my sight,
Thinke ont, I do not vse to iest:
Be gon I say; I will not heare thee speake.
Exeunt Lelia, and Nurse.
Churms.
I pray your Sir patient your selfe: shees young.
Gripe.
I hold my life this beggerly Scholler hankers about
hir still, makes hir so vntoward:
Ile keep hir in, and look to hir a little better then I ha done,
Ile make hir haue little mind of gadding, I warrant hir.
Come Neighour, send your sonne to my house, for hees
welcome thither, and shall be welcome, and Ile make Lelia
bid him welcome too ere I ha done with hir:
Exeunt all, but Churmes.
Churms.
Why this is excellent, better and better still,
This is beyond expectation:
Why now this geare begins to worke,
But beshrew my heart, I was afraide that Lelia would haue
yeelded, whē I saw hir father take hir by the hand & cal me
But to say the truth shee had little reason to take a Cullian,
lugloafe, milkesop slaue;
When she may haue a Lawyer, a Gentleman, that stands
vpon his reputation in the Country:
One whose diminutiue defecte of Law may compare with
his little Learning.
Well: I see that Churmes must be the man must carrie Lelia
when alls done.
Enter Robin Goodfellow.
Robin.
How now Master Churmes, what newes abroad?
Me thinke you looke very spruce; yare very frolicke now a
late.
Churms.
What fellow Robin, how goes the squares with
you?
Yare waxen very proude alate, you will not know your
olde friends.
Robin.
Faith I eene came to seeke you, to bestow a quart
of wine of you.
Churms.
Thats strange: you were nere wont to be so liberall.
Robin.
Tush man, one good turne askes another: cleare
gaines man, cleare gaines:
And Ile come ouer him againe and againe, I warrant ye.
Churms.
Faith, Lelia has een giuen him the doff off here,
and has made his father almost starke mad.
Robin.
O all the better: then I shall bee sure of more of
his custome.
Churms.
Faith all hitherto goes well,
I haue made the motion to hir,
But as yet we are growne to no conclusion:
But I am in very good hope.
Robin.
But doe you thinke you shall get hir fathers good will?
Churmes.
Tut, if I get the wench I care not for that:
And Ile be sure of something in the meane time.
For I haue outlaw'd a great number of his debtors,
And Ile gather vp what money I can amongst them,
And Gripe shall nere know of it neither.
Robin.
I, and of those that are scarse able to pay,
Take the one halfe and forgiue them the other, rather then
sit out at all.
Churmes.
Tush let me alone for that:
But sirra I haue brought the Scholler into a fooles Paradise:
Why he has made me his spokesman to M. Lelia,
And Gods my Iudge I nere so much as name him to hir.
Robin.
O bith Mas well remembred,
Ile tell you what I meane to doe,
Ile attire my selfe fit for the same purpose,
Like to some hellish Hag or damned fiend,
And meete with Sophos wandring in the woods,
O I shall fray him terribly.
Churms.
I would thou couldst scarre him out of his wits:
Then should I ha the wench cocke sure,
I doubt no body but him.
Robin.
Well, lets go drinke together;
And then Ile go put on my diuelish roabes,
I meane my Christmas Calues skin sute,
And then walke to the woodes,
O Ile terrifie him I warrant ye.
Enter Sophos, solus.
Sophos.
Will heauens still smile at Sophos miseries,
And giue no end to my vncessant mones?
These Cipresse shades are witnesse of my woes,
The senselesse trees do grieue at my laments,
The leauie branches drop sweete Myrrhas teares,
For loue did scorne me in my mothers wombe,
And sullen Saturne pregnant at my birth,
With all the fatall starres conspir'd in one,
To frame a haplesse constellation,
Here, here, doth Sophos turne Ixions restlesse wheele,
And here lies wrapt in labyrinths of loue,
Of his sweete Lelias loue whose sole Idea still
Prolongs the haplesse date of Sophos hopelesse life:
Ah, said I life? a life farre worse then death.
Then death? I then ten thousand deaths.
I daily die, in that I liue loues thrall,
They die thrise happie, that once die for all.
Here will I stay my weary wandring steps,
And lay me downe vpon this solid earth,
He lies downe.
The mother of despaire and balefull thoughts,
I, this befits my melancholy moodes:
Now now me thinkes I heare the prettie birds,
With warbling tunes record faire Lelias name,
Whose absence makes warme bloud drop from my heart,
And forceth watrie teares from these my weeping eyes,
Me thinkes I heare the siluer sounding streames,
With gentle murmur summon me to sleepe,
Singing a sweete melodious lullabie:
Here will I take a nap and drowne my haplesse hopes,
In the Ocean seas of Neuer like to speed.
He fals in a slumber and Musicke soundes.
Enter Syluanus.
Syluanus.
Thus hath Syluanus left his leauie bowers,
Drawne by the sound of Ecchoes sad reports,
That with shrill notes and high resounding voice,
Doth pearce the very Cauerns of the earth,
And rings through hils and dales the sad laments
Of virtues losse and Sophos mournefull plaints.
Now Morpheus, rowse thee from thy sable den,
Charme all his senses with a slumbering trance,
Whil'st old Syluanus send a louely traine
Of Satyrs, Driades, and watrie Nymphes,
And with sweete sounding musicke sing,
Some pleasing Madrigalles and Rowndelayes,
To comfort Sophos in his deepe distresse.
Exit Syluanus.
Enter the Nymphes and Satyres singing.
THE SONGE.
1
Satyres sing, let sorrow keepe hir Cell,Let warbling Ecchoes ring,
And sounding musicke yell
Through kils, through dales, sad griefe and care to kill
In him song since alas hath grieu'd his fill.
2
Sleepe no more, but wake and liue content,Thy griefe the Nymphes deplore,
The Syluan gods lament
To heare, to see thy mone, thy losse thy loue:
Thy plaints, to teares, the flinty rockes do mooue.
3
Grieue not then, the Queene of Loue is milde,Shee sweetly smiles on men,
When reasons most beguil'd:
Hir lookes, hir smiles, are kind, are sweet, are faire,
Awake therefore and sleepe not still in care.
4
Loue intends, to free thee from annoy,His Nymphes Syluanus sendes,
To bid thee liue in ioy,
In hope, in ioy, sweet loue delights imbrace,
Faire loue hir selfe will yeeld thee so much grace.
What do I heare? what harmony is this?
With siluer sound that glutteth Sophos eares?
And driues sad passions from his heauy heart,
Presaging some good future hap shall fall,
After these blustring blasts of discontent:
Thanks gentle Nymphes and Satyres too adiew,
That thus compassionate a loyall louers woe,
When heauens sit smiling at his dire mishaps.
Enter Fortunatus.
Fortunatus.
With weary steps I trace these desert groues
And search to find out Sophos secret walkes,
My truest vowed friend and Lelias dearest loue.
Soph.
What voice is this sounds Lelias sacred name?
He riseth.
Is it some Satyre that hath vew'd hir late,
Ands growne inamour'd of hir gorgeous hew?
Fortunatus.
No Satyre Sophos; but thy ancient friend,
Whose dearest bloud doth rest at thy command.
Hath sorow lately blear'd thy watry eyes,
That thou forgetst the lasting league of loue,
Long since was vow'd betwixt thy selfe and me?
Looke on me man: I am thy friend.
Sophos.
O now I know thee, now thou nam'st my friend:
I haue no friend to whom I dare
vnload the burthen of my griefe,
But onely Fortunatus, hees my second selfe,
Mi Fortunateter Fortunate venis.
Fort.
How fares my friend? me thinks you look not wel:
Your eyes are sunk, your cheekes looke pale and wan,
What meanes this alteration?
Sophos.
My mind sweet friend is like a mastlesse ship,
Thats huld and tost vpon the surging seas,
By Boreas bitter blasts and Eoles whistling winds,
On Rockes and sands, farre from the wished port
Whereon my silly ship desires to land,
Faire Lelias loue that is the wished hauen,
Wherein my wandring mind would take repose,
For want of which my restlesse thoughts are tost:
Fort.
Doth Sophos loue my sister Lelia?
Sophos.
She, she, it is whose loue I wish to gaine:
Nor neede I wish, nor do I loue in vaine,
My loue shee doth repay with equall meede:
Tis strange youle say that Sophos should not speed.
Fortunatus.
Your loue repaid with equall meede?
And yet you languish still in loue? tis strange:
Frō whence proceeds your grief? vnfold vnto your friend,
A friend may yeeld reliefe.
Sophos.
My want of wealth is author of my griefe,
Your father sayes, my state is too, too lowe.
I am no hobbie bred; I may not soare so high, as Lelias loue.
The loftie Egle wil not catch at flies.
When I with Icarus would soare against the Sun
He is the onely fierie Phaeton denies my course,
And seares my waxen winges, when as I so are aloft:
He mewes faire Lelia vp from Sophos sight,
That not so much as paper pleades remorse:
Thrice three times Sol hath slept in Thetis lap,
Since these mine eyes beheld sweet Lelias face.
What greater griefe? what other Hell then this?
To be denied to come where my beloued is.
Fortunatus.
Do you alone loue Lelia?
Haue you no riuals with you in your loue?
Sophos.
Yes, onely one, and him your father backs,
Tis Peter Ploddall, rich Ploddalls sonne and heire,
One, whose base rusticke rude desert
Vnworthy farre to win so faire a prize,
Yet meanes your father for to mart a match,
For golden Lucre with this Corydon
And scornes at vertues lore: hence growes my griefe.
Fortunat.
If it be true I heare, there is one Churms, beside,
Makes suit to win my sister to his bride.
Sophos.
That cannot be: Churms is my vowed friend,
Whose tongue relates the tenour of my loue
To Lelias eares, I haue no other meanes.
Well, trust him not: the Tiger hides his clawes
When oft he doth pretend the greatest guiles.
But stay here comes Lelias Nurse.
[Enter Nurse.
Sophos.
Nurse, what newes?
How fares my loue?
Nurse.
How fares shee quotha? Marrie shee may fare
how she will for you: Neither come to her, nor send to her
of a whole fortnight?
Now I sweare by my mayden head, if my husband should
haue seru'd me so, when hee came a wooing to me: I would
neuer haue lookt on him with a good face as long as I had
liued.
But he was as kind a wretch, as euer laid lips of a woman:
He would ha come through windowes or doores, or wals,
or any thing, but he would haue come to me.
Marrie, after we had beene maried a while, his kindnesse
began to slake, for Ile tell you what hee did:
He made me beleeue, he would go to greenegoose faire, and
Ile bee sworne hee tooke his legges and ranne cleane away:
And I am afraide youle prooue eene such another kinde
peece to my Mistresse: for she sits at home in a corner weeping
for you, and Ile be sworne shees ready to die vpward
for you:
And her father oth tother side, he yoles at her, and ioles at
her: and shee leades such a life for you it passes, and yoole
neither come to her, nor send to her:
Sophos.
Nay, then let heauens in sorrow end my dayes
And fatall Fortune neuer cease to frowne,
And heauen and earth, and all conspire to pull me downe,
If blacke obliuion seise vpon my heart
Once to estrange my thoughts from Lelias loue.
Fortunatus.
Why Nurse, I am sure that Lelia heares from Sophos,
Once a day at least by Churms the Lawyer,
Who is his onely friend.
Nurse.
What, yong Master? God blesse mine eye sight:
I am sure my Mistresse will be glad to see you.
But what said you of Master Churms?
Fortu.
Marrie, I say hees a well willer to my sister Lelia,
And a secret friend to Sophos.
Nurse.
Marrie the Diuel he is: trust him and hang him.
Why, hee cannot speake a good worde on him to my olde
Master, and he does so ruffle before my Mistresse with his
barbarian eloquence, and strut before her in a paire of Polonian
legges, as if hee were gentleman Vsher to the great
Turke, or the Diuell of Dowgate:
And if my Mistresse would be rul'd by him, Sophos might
go snick vp: But he has such a buttermilke face, that shoole
neuer haue him.
Sophos.
Can falshood lurke in those inticing lookes?
And deepe dissemblance lie where truth appeares?
Fortunatus.
Iniurious villaine to betray his friend!
Nurse.
Sir, do you know the Gentleman?
Fort.
Faith not well.
Nurse.
Why Sir, hee lookes like a red herring at a Noble
mans table on Easter day, and he speakes nothing but
Almond butter and suger Candie.
Fortu.
Thats excellent.
Sophos.
This worlds the Chaos of confusion:
No world at all but Masse of open wrongs,
Wherein a man, as in a Map man see
The high road way from woe to miserie.
Fort.
Content your selfe, and leaue these passions,
Now do I sound the depth of all their drifts,
The Diuels deuise and Churms his knauerie,
On whom this heart hath vowed to be reueng'd.
Ile scatter them: the plots alreadie in my head.
Nurse hye thee home, commend me to my sister:
Bid her this night send for Master Churms,
To him she must recount her many griefes,
Exclaime against her fathers hard constraint,
And so cunningly temporize with this cunning Catso,
Bid her tell him, that if by any meanes
He can conuey her forth her fathers gate,
Vnto a secret friend of hers;
The way to whom lyes by this forrest side.
That none but he shall haue her to his bride.
For her departure let her point the time
To morrow night: when Vesper gins to shine,
Here will I be when Lelia comes this way
Accompanied with her gentleman Vsher,
Whose amorous thoughts do dreame on nought but loue;
And if this Bastinado hold,
Ile make him leaue his wench with Sophos for a pawne:
Let me alone to vse him in his kind,
This is the trap which for him I haue laid,
Thus craft by cunning once shal be betraid,
And for the Diuell, Ile coniure him:
Good Nurse be gon: bid her not faile,
And for a token, beare to her this Ring
Which well shee knowes, for when I saw her last
It was her fauour, and she gaue it me.
Sophos.
And beare her this from me:
And with this ring bid her receiue my heart.
My heart? alas, my heart I cannot giue,
How should I giue her that which is her owne?
Nurse.
An your heart be hers, her heart is yours,
And so change is no robberie.
Well, Ile giue her your tokens, and tell her what yee say.
Fortunatus.
Do, good Nurse: but in any case let not my
father know that I am here, vntill we haue effected all our
purposes.
Nurse.
Ile warrant you, I wil not play with you,
As Master Churms does with Sophos,
I would ha my eares cut from my head first.
Exit Nurse.
Fortunatus.
Come Sophos, cheare vp your selfe man,
Let hope expell these melancholie dumps,
Expecting how the euents of this deuise wil fall,
Vntill to morrow at th'appointed time,
When weele expect the comming of your loue.
What, man, Ile worke it through the fire,
But you shall haue her.
Sophos.
And I wil study to deserue this loue.
Exeunt.
Enter William Cricket, Solus.
Will.
Looke on me, and looke of Master Churms,
A good proper man:
Marrie Master Churms has something a better paire of legs indeede:
But for a sweet face, a fine beard, comely corps,
And a Carowsing Codpeece,
All England if it can
Show mee such a man,
To win a wench by gis,
To clip, to coll, to kisse
As William Cricket is.
Why, looke you now: If I had been such a great long, large,
Lobcockt, loseld lurden, as Master Churms is;
Ile warrant you, I should neuer haue got Pegge, as long as
I had liu'd: for (do you marke) a wench will neuer loue a
man that has al his substance in his legges.
I must go salute him.
Enter olde Ploddall, and his sonne Peter.
Ploddall.
Come hither Peter, when didst thou see Robin
Goodfellow? Hees the man must do the feate.
Peter.
Faith father, I see him not this two daies; but Ile
seeke him out: for I know heele do the deed, and she were twentie Lelias.
For father hees a verie cunning man: for, giue him but ten
groates, and heele giue me a powder, that will make Lelias come to bed to me:
Ploddall.
Will he so? Marrie, I will giue him vortie shillings,
if he can do it.
Peter.
Nay, heele do more then that too,
For heele make himselfe like a diuell; and fray the Scholler
that hankers about her, out ons wits.
Ploddall.
Marrie Iesus blesse vs: will hee so?
Marrie thou shalt haue vortie shillings to giue him, and thy
mother shall bestow a hard cheese on him beside.
Will.
Landlord, a pox on you, this good morne.
Ploddall.
How now foole? what, dost curse me?
Will.
How now foole? how now Caterpiller?
Its a signe of Dearth, when such Vermine creepe hedges
so early of morning.
Peter.
Sirra, Foule manners, do you know to whome
you speake?
Will.
Indeed Peter, I must confesse I want some of your
wooing manners, or else I might haue tournde my faire
bush tayle to you instead of your father: and haue giuen
you the ill salutation this morning.
Ploddall.
Let him alone Peter, Ile temper him well vnough.
Sirra, I heare say you must be married shortly,
Ile make you pay a sweete fine for your house, for this.
Ha? sirra am not I your Landlord?
Will.
Yes, for fault of a better, but you get neither sweet
fine, nor sower fine of me.
Ploddall.
My masters, I pray you beare witnesse:
I do discharge him then.
Will.
My masters, I pray you beare witnesse,
My Landlord has giuen me a general discharge,
Ile be married presently, my fines paied: I haue a discharge
for it.
He offers to goe away.
Ploddall.
Nay prithee stay.
Will.
No Ile not stay, Ile goe call the clearke,
Ile be cried out vpon ith Church presently,
What ho? What Clearke I say? where are you?
Enter Cleark.
Who cals me? what would you with me?
Marrie Sir, I would haue you to make proclamation, that if
any manner of man, oth Towne, or oth Country, can lay
any claime to Pegge Pudding, let him bring worde to the
Crier, or else William Cricket will wipe his nose of her.
Clearke.
You meane you would be askt ith Church?
Will.
I thats it: a bots ont, I cannot hit of these marrying
tearmes yet.
And Ile desire my Landlord here and his sonne, to be at the
Celebrauation of my marriage too:
Yfaith Peter, you shal cramme your guts ful of Cheesecakes
and Custards there.
Yfaith my powderbeefe slaue,
Ile haue a rumpe of beefe for thee, shal make thy mouth
stand 'oth tother side.
Clearke.
When would you haue it done?
Will.
Marrie eene as soone as may be: let me see:
I wil be askt ith Church of Sunday at morning prayer, and
againe at Euening prayer: & the next holiday that comes
I will be askt ith fore noone, and married ith after noone:
For (do you marke) I am none of these sneaking fellowes
that wil stand thrumming of Caps, and studying vppon a
matter, as long as Hunkes with the great head has beene about
to show his little wit in the second part of his paultrie
poetrie: but if I begin with wooing, Ile ende with wedding.
And therefore good Clearke, let me haue it done with all
speede: for I promise you, I am verie sharpe set.
Cleark.
Faith you may be askt ith Church on Sunday at
morning prayer, but Sir Iohn cannot tend to do it at Euening
prayer: For there comes a Company of Players tuth
Towne, on Sunday ith afternoone; and Sir Iohn is so good
a fellow, that I know heele scarce leaue their companie, to
say Euening prayer.
For (though I say it) hees a verie paineful man, and takes so
great delight in that facultie, that heele take as great pains about
them.
Will.
Nay, if he haue so lawfull an excuse, I am content
to deferre it one day the longer:
And Landlord, I hope, you and your sonne Peter wil make
bold with vs, and trouble vs.
Ploddall.
Nay William, we would be loath to trouble you:
but you shal haue our companie there.
Will.
Faith you shal be very heartily welcome, and wee
wil haue good merry rogues there that wil make you laugh
till you burst.
Peter.
Why William, what company doe you meane
to haue?
Will.
Marrie, first and formost, there wil bee an honest
Dutch Cobbler, that wil sing (I wil noe meare to Burgaine
goe) the best that euer you heard
Ploddall.
What, must a Cobbler be your chiefe guest?
Why hees a base fellow.
Will.
A base fellow? you may be asham'd to say so,
For hees an honest fellow, and a good fellow:
And he begins to carrie the verie badge of good fellowship
vpon his nose; that I do not doubt, but in time he wil prooue
as good a Copper companion as Robin Goodfellowe himselfe.
For Ile tel you what: tie him tuth Bull-Ring, and for a bag-
pudding,a Custard, a Cheescake, a hogges cheeke, or a
Calues head, turne any man ith towne to him, and if he do
not prooue himselfe as tall a man as he, let blind Hugh bewitch
him, and tourne his bodie, into a barrel of strong Ale,
and let his nose be the Spigat, his mouth the Fosset, and his
tongue a Plugge for the bunge hole.
And then there wil be Robin Goodfellow, as good a drunken
rogue as liues: and Tom Shoomaker; and I hope you wil not
deny that hees an honest man, for hee was Constable oth
Towne.
And a number of other honest rascals, which though they
mens tables:
Yet (thankes bee to God) they haue a penny amongst,
at all times at their neede.
Ploddall.
Nay, if Robin Goodfellow be there, you shall be
sure to haue our company.
And my sonne here has some occasion to vse him:
And therefore if we may know when tis,
weele make bolde to trouble you.
Will.
Yes Ile send you word.
Ploddall.
Why then farewell, till wee heare from you.
Exeunt Ploddall and his sonne.
Wil.
Wel Cleark, youle see this matter brauely performed:
let it be done as it should be.
Clearke.
Ile warrant ye, feare it not.
Will.
Why then go you to Sir Ihon, and Ile to my wench,
and bid hir giue hir Maiden head warning to prepare it self.
for the destruction of it is at hand.
Exeunt.
Enter Lelia, Sola.
Lelia.
How loue and fortune both with eger moode,
Like greedy hounds do hunt my tired hart,
Rows'd forth the thickets of my wonted ioyes!
And Cupid windes his shrill note bugle horne,
For ioy my silly hart so neere is spent.
Desire that eager Curre pursues the chace,
And Fortune rides amaine vnto the fall:
Now sorrow sings, and mourning beares a part,
Playing harsh descant on my yeelding heart.
Enter Nurse.
Nurse, what newes?
Nurse.
Faith a whole sacke full of newes:
You loue Sophos and Sophos loues you;
And Peter Ploddall loues you, and you loue not him,
And you loue not Master Churmes, and he loues you,
And I loue and I loue not,
And I cannot tell what:
But of all, and of all, Master Churmes must bee the man you
must loue.
Lelia.
Nay, first Ile mount me on the winged wind,
And fly for succour to the farthest Inde.
Must I loue Master Churmes?
Nurse,
Faith you must and you must not.
Lelia.
As how I pray thee?
Nurse.
Marry I haue commendations to you.
Lelia.
From whom?
Nurse.
From your brother Fortunatus.
Lelia.
My brother Fortunatus?
Nurse.
No: from Sophos.
Lelia.
From my Loue?
Nurse.
No from neither.
Lelia.
From neither?
Nurse.
Yes from both.
Lelia.
Prithee leaue thy fooley, and let me knowe thy newes.
Nurse.
Your brother Fortunatus, and your loue, to morrow
night will meet you by the forrest side,
But tis like, that Sophos will make you of his priuy councell,
before you come againe.
Lelia.
Is Fortunatus then retourned from the warres?
Nurse.
He is with Sophos euery day,
But in any case you must not let your Father know,
For he hath sworne he will not be discried,
Vntill he haue effected your desires:
For he swaggers and sweares out of all crie,
That he will venture all,
Both fame and bloud, and limme and life,
But Lelia sha'l be Sophos wedded wife.
Lelia.
Alas Nurse, my fathers iealous braine
Doth scarce allow me once a month to goe,
Nor once affords me any conference,
With any man except with Mr. Churms,
Whose craftie braine beguiles my father so,
That he reposeth trust in none but him:
And though he seekes for fauour at my hands,
He takes his marke amisse and shootes awrie.
For I had rather see the diuel himselfe,
Then Churms the Lawyer:
Therefore how I should meete them by the forrest side,
I cannot possibly deuise.
Nurse.
And Master Churms must be the man must work the meanes,
You must this night send for him:
Make him beleeue you loue him mightily,
Tell him you haue a secret friend dwels farre away beyond the Forrest.
To whom if he can secretly conuay you from your father,
Tel him you will loue him, better then euer God loued him.
And when you come to the place appointed,
Let them alone to discharge the knaue of clubs.
And that you must not faile,
Here receiue this ring, which Fortunatus sent you for a token,
That this is the plot that you must prosecute,
And this from Sophos as his true loues pledge.
Lelia.
This ring my brother sent I know right well,
But this my true loue pledge I more esteeme
Then all the golden mines the solide earth containes:
And see, in happy time here comes M. Churms:
[Enter Chur.
Now loue and fortune both conspire,
And sort their driftes to compasse my desire.
M. Churms yare well met, I am glad to see you.
Churms.
And I as glad to see faire Lelia,
As euer Paris was to see his deare,
For whom so many Troianes bloud was spilt;
Nor thinke, I would do lesse then spend my dearest bloud,
Nurse.
Faith mistresse, he speakes like a gentleman:
Let me perswade you,
Be not hard hearted:
Sophos? why whats hee?
If hee had lou'd you but halfe so well, he would ha come
through stone walles, but he would haue come to you ere
this.
Lelia.
I must confesse, I once lou'd Sophos well,
But now I cannot loue him, whom all the world knowes to
be a dissembler.
Churmes.
Ere I would wrong my loue with one dayes absence;
I would passe the boyling Hellespont,
As once Leander did for Heroes loue,
Or vndertake a greater taske then that,
Ere I would be disloyall to my Loue.
And if that Lelia giue hir free consent
That both our loues may sympathize in one,
My hand, my heart, my loue, my life and all,
Shall euer tend on Lelias faire command.
Lelia.
Mr. Churms, mee thinkes tis strange, you should
make such a motion:
When most you did expect a sunneshine day,
My fathers will would mar your hop't for hay,
And when you thought to reap the fruits of loue,
His hard constraint would blast it in the bloom.
For he so dotes on Peter Proddals pelfe,
That none but he forsooth must be the man,
And I will rather match my selfe,
Vnto a groome of Plutoes griesly denne,
Then vnto such a silly golden asse.
Churms.
Brauely resolued yfaith.
Lelia.
But to be short:
I haue a secret friend that dwels from hence,
Some two dayes iourney, thats the most,
For company I desire no other then your owne,
Here take my hand:
That once perform'd my heart is next.
Churmes.
If on th'aduenture all the dangers lay,
That Europe or the westerne world affords,
Were it to combate Cerberus himselfe,
Or scale the brasen walles of Plutoes court;
When as there is so faire a prize propos'd,
If I shrinke backe or leaue it vnperform'd,
Let the World canonize me for a Coward:
Appoint the time and leaue the rest to me.
Lelia.
When nights blacke mantle ouerspreads the sky,
And dayes bright lampe is drenched in the west,
To morrow night I thinke the fittest time,
That silent shade may giue our safe conuoy,
Vnto our wished hopes vnseene of liuing eye.
Churms.
And at that time I will not faile,
In that or ought may make for our auaile.
Nurse.
But what if Sophos should meet you by the forrest side:
And incounter you with his single rapier?
Churms.
Sophos? a hop of my thumbe, a wretch, a wretch.
Shoulde Sophos meete vs there accompanied with some Champion,
With whome twere any credit to encounter,
Were he as stout as Hercules himselfe,
Then would I buckle with them hand to hand:
And bandy blowes as thicke as hailestones fall,
And carrie Lelia away in spite of all their force.
What? loue will make Cowards fight:
Much more a man of my resolution.
Lelia.
And on your resolution Ile depend,
Vntill to morrow at th'appointed time, when I looke for you:
till when Ile leaue you, and go make preparation for our
Exeunt Lelia and Nurse.
Churms.
Farewell faire loue, vntill we meet againe.
Why so: did I not tel you she would be glad to run away
with mee at length?
Why this falles out, een as a man would say, Thus I would
haue it.
Let mee see: I haue outlaw'd three or soure of Gripes debters.
And I haue the bonds in mine owne hands:
The summe that is due to him, is some two or three hundred pounds:
Well, Ile to them: if I can get but one halfe,
Ile deliuer them their bonds, and leaue the other halfe to
their owne consciences; and so I shall be sure to get mony to
beare charges:
But soft, no more of that:
Here comes Mr. Gripe,
Enter Gripe.
Gripe.
What Mr. Churms? what alone? how fares your
body?
Churms.
Faith Sir, reasonable well: I am eene walking
here to take the fresh ayre.
Gripe.
Tis very holesome this faire weather,
But M. Churms: how like you my daughter?
Can you doe any good on hir? wil she be rul'd yet?
How stands she affected to P. Ploddall?
Churms.
O very well Sir: I have made hir very conformable.
O let me alone to perswade a woman:
I hope you shall see hir married within this weeke at most,
I meane to my selfe.
[He speakes to himselfe.
Gripe.
Master Churmes. I am so exceedingly beholding to you,
I cannot tell how I shall requite your kindnesse,
But ith mean time heers a brace of angels for you to drink,
for your paines,
O Sir, my neighbour Ploddall is very wealthie.
Come M. Churms, you shall go home with me,
Weele haue good chear & be merry for this, to night, yfaith.
Churms.
Wel: let them laugh that winne.
Exeunt.
Enter Pegge and hir Granam.
Pegge.
Granam, giue me but two crownes of red golde,
And Ile giue you two pence of white siluer,
If Robin the diuel be not a water witch.
Moth. M.
Marrie, Iesus blesse vs: why prithee?
Pegge.
Marrie Ile tel you why.
Vpon the morrow after the blessed newe yeare,
I came trip, trip, trip, ouer the Market hil,
Holding vp my petticote to the calues of my legs,
To show my fine coloured stockins,
And how finely I coulde foote it in a paire of newe corkt shooes, I had bought:
And there I spyed this Mounsier Muffe, lie gaping vp into the skies,
To know how many Maides would be with childe in the
towne all the yeare after:
How the country talkes of the large ribd varlet!
Mother M.
Marry out vpon him: what a Friday fac't slaue it is!
I thinke in my conscience, his face neuer keepes Holiday.
Pegge.
Why his face can neuer be at quiet,
He has such a cholericke nose,
I durst ha sworne by my maiden-head,
(God forgiue me that I should take such an oath)
That if William had had such a nose, I would neuer ha lov'd him.
Enter Will. Cricket.
Will.
What a talking is here of noses and faces?
Come Pegge, wee are towarde marriage; let vs talke of that
may doe vs good: Granam, what wil you giue vs toward
howse-keeping?
Moth. M.
Why William, we are talking of Rob. Goodfellow:
What thinke you of him?
Will.
Marrie I say he lookes like a tankerd bearer,
That dwels in Petticoate lane, at the signe of the Mearemaide;
And I sweare by the bloud of my codpiece,
An I were a woman I would lug off his laue eares,
Or run him to death with a spit: and for his face,
I thinke tis pittie there is not a lawe made,
That it should be fellonie to name it in any other places,
then in baudie houses:
Moth. M.
Marrie I wil giue Pegge a pot and a pan,
Two platters, a dish and a spoone, a dogge, and a cat:
I trow sheele prooue a good huswife,
And loue hir husband well too.
Will.
If she loue me Ile loue hir, yfaith my sweet honny
combe, Ile loue thee,
We must be askt in Church next Sunday, and weel be married
presently.
Pegge.
Yfaith William weele haue a merry day ont.
Mother M.
That wee will yfaith Pegge: weele haue a
whole noise of fiddlers there:
Come Pegge lets hie vs home, weele make a bag-pudding to
supper,
Will.
Come on yfaith.
Exeunt.
Enter Fortunatus and Sophos.
Fort.
Why how now Sophos, al a mort? still anguishing in loue?
Wil not the presence of thy friend preuaile?
Nor hope expell these sullen fits?
Cannot mirth wring, if but a forged smile,
From those sad drouping lookes of thine?
To her, whom thou dost call thy hearts delight;
Looke cheerely man: the time is neere at hand,
That Hymen mounted on a snow white coach,
Shal tend on Sophos and his louely bride.
Sophos.
Tis impossible: her Father, man, her father,
Hees al for Peter Ploddall.
Fortunatus.
Should I but see that Ploddall offer loue,
This sword should pearce the pesants breast,
And chase his soule from his accursed corps
By an vnwonted way vnto the griesly lake.
But now the appointed time is neere,
That Churms should come with his supposed loue:
Then sit we down vnder these leauie shades
[They sit down.
And waight the time of Lelias wisht approach,
Sophos.
I: here Ile waight for Lelias wisht approach,
More wisht to me, then is a calme at seas,
To shipwrackt soules, when great God Neptune frownes.
Though sad despaire hath almost drown'd my hopes,
Yet would I passe the burning vaults of Orke,
As erst did Hercules to fetch his loue,
If I might meete my loue vpon the strond
Enter Robin Goodfellow.
And but enioy her loue one minute of an hour.
But stay: what man, or diuell, or hellish fiend comes here,
Transformed in this ougly vncouth shape?
Fortunatus.
O, peace a while: you shal see good sport anone.
Robin.
Now I am cloathed in this hellish shape,
If I could meete with Sophos in these woods,
O, he would take me for the Diuell himselfe,
I should ha good laughing, beside the fortie shillings Peter
Ploddall has giuen mee: and if I get noe more I am sure of that.
But soft: now I must trie my cunning, for here he sits.
The high commander of the damned soules
Great Dis the Duke of Diuels and Prince of Limbo Lake,
High Regent of Acheron, Styx and Phlegeton,
And faire Proserpina the Queene of Hell,
By full consent of all the damned Hagges
And all the fiends that keepe the Stygian plaines,
Hath sent me here from depth of vnder ground,
To sommon thee to appeare at Plutoes Court.
Fortunatus.
A man or Diuell? or what so ere thou art,
Ile trie if blowes will driue thee downe to hell.
Belike thou art the Diuels Paritor,
The basest officer that liues in Hell,
For, such thy words imports thee for to be:
Tis pittie you should come so farre without a fee.
And because I know mony goes lowe with Sophos,
Ile pay you your fees: [Hee beates him,]
take that, & that, and that:
Robin.
O good Sir, I beseech you, Ile do any thing;
Fortunatus.
Then downe to Hell, for sure thou art a
Diuell.
Robin.
O hold your hands, I am not a Diuell by my
troth.
Fortunatus.
Sounds, dost thou crosse mee? I say thou
art a Diuell.
[Beate him againe.
Robin.
O Lord sir saue my life: and Ile say as you say, or
any thing else youle ha me doe.
Fortunatus.
Then stand vp and make a preachment of
thy Pedigree, and how at first thou learnd'st this diuelish
trade: vp I say.
Beate him.
Robin.
O I will Sir:
[Stands vpon a stoole.
Although in some places, I beare the title of a scuruy gentleman:
By birth I am a boate writes son of Hull,
My father got me of a refus'd hagge,
Vnder the olde ruines of Boobies barne,
Who as she liu'd, at length she likewise died,
And for her good deedes went vnto the Diuell.
But, Hell not wont to harbour such a guest,
Her fellow fiends do daiely make complaint
Of her vnruly missebehauiour:
Intreating that a pasport might be drawne
For her to wander till the day of doome,
On earth againe to vex the mindes of men,
And swore she was the fittest fiend in Hell
To driue men to desperation.
To this intent her pasport straight was drawne,
And in a whirle wind forth of Hell she came;
Ore hills she hurles, and scowres along the plaines:
The trees flew vp bith rootes, the earth did quake for feare,
The houses tumble downe, she playes the Diuell and all:
At length not finding any one so fit
To effect her diuelish damned charge as I:
She comes to me, as to her onely childe,
And me her instrument on earth she made,
And by that meanes I learnd this diuellish trade.
Sophos.
O monstrous villane!
Fortunatus.
But tell me: whats thy course of life, & how
thou shiftest for maintenance in the world?
Robin.
Faith Sir, I am in a manner a promoter,
Or more fitly term'd a promoting knaue:
I creepe into the presence of great men,
And vnder colour of their friendships,
Effect such wonders in the world
That babes wil curse me, that are yet vnborne.
Of the best men, I raise a common fame,
And honest women rob of their good name:
Thus dayly tumbling-in comes all my thrift.
That I get best is got but by a shift:
But the chiefe course of all my life,
Is to set discord betwixt man and wife.
Fortunatus.
Out vpon thee Canniball,
[He beates him.
Dost thou thinke thou shalt euer come to heauen?
Robin.
I little hope for heauen or heauenly blisse:
But if in hell doth any place remaine,
Of more esteeme then is another roome,
To haue it for my detestable acts.
Fort.
Wert not, thy tongue condemnes thy guiltie soule,
I could not thinke that on this liuing earth
Did breath a villane so audacious.
Go get thee gone, and come not in my walke.
[Beate him.
For if thou dost, thou comest vnto thy woe.
Rob.
The diuel himself was neuer coniur'd so.
[Exit Rob.
Sophos.
Sure hees no man, but an incarnate diuel,
Whose ougly shape bewrayes his monstrous mind.
Fortunatus.
And if he be a diuel, I am sure hees gone:
But Churms the Lawyer wil be here anone,
And with him comes my sister Lelia:
Tis he I am sure you looke for.
Sophos.
Nay, she it is that I expect so long.
Fort.
Then sit we down vntil we heare more newes:
This but a prologue to our play ensewes.
[They sit downe.
But see where Churms and Lelia comes along:
Enter Churms and Lelia.
He walks as stately as the great Baboone.
Sounds, he lookes as though his mother were a mid wife.
Sophos.
Now gentle Ioue, great Monarke of the world,
Grant good successe vnto my wandring hopes.
Churms.
Now Phœbus siluer eye is drencht in westerne deepe
And Luna gins to show her splendant raies,
And al the harmlesse quiresters of wood
Do take reprose, saue onely Philomele:
Whose heauie tunes do euermore record,
With morneful laies the losses of her loue.
Thus farre faire loue we paste in secret sort,
Beyond the compasse of thy fathers bounds,
Whilst he on down-soft bed securely sleepes
And not so much as dreames of our depart.
The dangers past, now thinke on nought but loue,
Ile be thy deare, be thou my hearts delight:
Sophos.
Nay first, Ile send thy soule to cole blacke night.
Churms.
Thou promis'd loue: now seale it with a kisse.
Fort.
Nay soft Sir, your mark's at the fairest.
Vpon the burnisht splendor of this blade;
Or it shal rip the intrailes of thy pesant hart.
Sophos.
Nay, let me do it, thats my part.
Churms.
You wrong me much to rob me of my loue.
Sophos.
Auant, base braggard: Lelias mine.
Churms.
She lately promis'd loue to me.
Fortunatus.
Peace, Night-Rauen, peace, Ile ende this controuersie.
Come Lelia, stand betweene them both,
As equall Iudge to ende this strife:
Say which of these shal haue thee to his wife:
I can deuise no better way then this,
Now choose thy loue: and greete him with a kisse.
Lelia.
My choice is made: and here it is.
[She kisses Sophos.
Sophos.
See here the mirrour of true constancie:
Whose stedfast loue deserues a Princes worth.
Lelia.
Master Churms are you not well?
I must confesse I would haue chosen you,
But that I nere beheld your legs till now:
Trust me I neuer lookt so low before.
Churms.
I know you vse to looke aloft.
Lelia.
Yet not so high as your crowne.
Churms.
What if you had?
Lelia.
Faith I should ha spied but a Calues head.
Churms.
Sounds, cosend of the wench and scoft at too?
Tis intolerable: and shal I loose her thus?
Howt mads me, that I brought not my sworde and buckler with me!
Fort.
What, are you in your sword & buckler tearms?
Ile put you out of that humor:
There Lelia sends you that by me,
[Beates him.
And that, to recompence your loues desire:
And that, as payment for your wel earn'd hire.
Go get thee gon, and boast of Lelias loue.
Churms.
Where ere I goe Ile leaue with her my curse,
And raile on you with speeches vilde.
A craftie knaue was neuer so beguil'd.
Now Sophos hopes haue had their luckie haps,
And he enioyes the presence of his loue,
My vow's perform'd, and I am full reueng'd
Vpon this Hell-bred brace of cursed Imps:
Now rests nought but my fathers free consent
To knit the knot that time can nere vntwist.
And that, as this, I likewise wil performe.
No sooner shal Auroraes pearled deaw,
Orespread the mantled earth with siluer drops
And Phœbus blesse the Orient with a blush,
To chace blacke night to her deformed Cell,
But Ile repaire vnto my fathers house,
And neuer cease with my inticing words,
To worke his wil to knit this Gordian knot,
Till when Ile leaue you to your amorous chatte,
Deare friend a dieu, faire sister too farewel,
Betake your selues vnto some secret place:
Vntil you heare from me how things fall out.
Exit Fortunatus
Sophos.
We both do wish a fortunate goodnight:
Lelia.
And pray the Gods to guide thy steps aright.
Sophos.
Now come faire Lelia, lets betake our selues
Vnto a little Hermitage hereby:
And there to liue obscured from the world
Till fates and Fortune call vs thence away,
To see the sunshine of our Nuptiall day.
See how the twinkling Starres do hide their borrowed shin
As halfe asham'd their luster so is stain'd,
By Lelias beautious eyes that shine more bright,
Then twinkling Starres do in a winters night:
In such a night did Parts win his loue.
Lelia.
In such a night, Ænæas prou'd vnkind.
Sophos.
In such a night did Troilus court his deare.
Lelia.
In such a night, faire Phyllis was betraid.
Sophos.
Ile proue as true as euer Troylus was.
Lelia.
And I as constant as Penelope.
Then let vs solace, and in loues delight,
And sweet imbracings spend the liue-long night.
And whilst loue mounts her on her wanton wings,
Let Descant run on Musicks siluer strings.
Exeunt.
A SONGE.
1
Olde Tithon must forsake his deare,The Larke doth chante her chearefull lay:
Aurora smiles with merry cheere,
To welcome in a happy day.
2
The beasts do skippe,The sweete birds sing:
The wood Nymphs dance,
The Ecchoes ring.
3
The hollow caues with ioy resounds:And pleasure euery where abounds:
The Graces linking hand in hand,
In loue haue knit a glorious band.
Ploddall.
Heare you Master Goodfellow: how haue you
sped?
Peter.
Ha you plaid the Diuel brauely, and scard the
scholler out ons wits?
Robin.
A pox of the Scholler.
Ploddall.
Nay harke you: I sent you vortie shillings, and
you shal haue the cheese I promis'd you too.
A plague of the vortie shillings, and the Cheese
too.
Peter.
Heare you, wil you giue me the powder you told
me of?
Robin.
How you vex me! powder quotha? Sounds I ha
been powderd.
Ploddall.
Son, I doubt hee wil proue a craftie knaue, and
cosen vs of our money:
Weele go to Master Iustice and complaine on him, and get
him whipt out oth Countrie for a Connicatcher.
Peter.
I, or haue his eares naild to the Pillorie:
Comes lets goe.
Exeunt Ploddall and his sonne.
Enter Churms.
Churms.
Fellow Robin, what newes? howe goes the
world?
Robin.
Faith, the world goes I cannot tell how:
How speed you with your wench?
Churms.
I would the wench were at the Diuel:
A plague vpont I neuer say my prayers, and that makes me
haue such ill lucke.
Robin.
I think the scholler be haunted with some Demidiuel.
Churms.
Why, didst thou fray him?
Robin.
Fray him? a vengeance ont, all our shifting knauerie's knowne:
Sounds, I am afraid of euerie officer, for whipping.
Churms.
We are horribly haunted: our behauiour is so
beastly, that we are growen loathsome, our craft gets vs
nought but knocks.
Robin.
What course shal we take now?
Churms.
Faith I cannot tell: lets eene run our Countrie,
for heres no staying for vs.
Robin.
Faith agreed: lets go into some place where wee
are not knowne, and there set vp the art of knauerie with
the second edition.
Exeunt.
Gripe.
Euery one tels me I looke better then I was wont,
My hearts lightened, my spirits are reuiued,
Why me thinkes I am eene young againe;
It ioyes my heart that this same peeuish girle my daughter
wil be rul'd at the last yet:
But I shall neuer be able to make M. Churmes amends for
the great paines he has taken,
Enter Nurse.
Nur.
Master, now out vpons, welladay: we are al vndone!
Gripe.
Vndone? what sodaine accident hath chanc't?
Speake whats the matter?
Nurse.
Alas that euer I was borne!
My Mistresse and Mr, Churms are run away together.
Gripe.
Tis not possible: nere tell me. I dare trust Master
Churms with a greater matter then that.
Nurse.
Faith you must trust him whether you will or no,
for hees gone.
Enter Will Cricket.
VVill.
M. Gripe, I was comming to desire that I might
haue your absence at my wedding: for I heare say you are
very liberall growen alate.
For I spake with three or foure of your debters this morning,
that ought you hundred pounds a piece:
And they tolde me, that you sent M. Churmes to them and
tooke of some ten pounds,
And bad them pay the rest when they were able.
Gripe.
I am vndon: I am robd: my daughter, my mony!
Which way are they gone?
VVill.
Faith Sir, its all to nothing but your daughter and
M. Churms are gone both one way:
Marrie your mony flies some one waies and some another:
And therefore tis but a folly to make hue and crie after it.
Gripe.
Follow them: make hue and cry after them.
My daughter, my mony, alls gone, what shall I doe?
Will.
Faith if you will be rul'd by me,
Ile tell you what you shall doe:
(Marke what I say) for Ile teach you the way to come to
heauen, if you stumble not:
But one single penny, and with that penny buy you a good
strong halter,
And when you ha done so: come to mee and Ile tell you
what you shall do with it.
Gripe.
Bring me my daughter: that Churms, that villane,
Ile teare him with my teeth.
Nurse.
Master, nay pray you do not run mad:
Ile tell you good newes:
My young Master Fortunatus is come home: and see where
he comes.
[Enter Fortunatus.
Gripe.
If thou hadst sayd Lelia, it had beene something.
Fort.
Thus Fortunatus greetes his Father,
And craues his blessing on his bended knee.
Gripe.
I, heers my sonne: but Lelia sheele not come.
Good Fortunatus rise: wilt thou shed teares,
And help thy father mone?
If so, say I: if not good sonne be gone.
Fort.
What moues my father to these vncouth fits?
Will.
Faith Sir, hees almost mad: I thinke he cannot tell you:
And therefore I presuming Sir, that my wit is something
better than his, at this time (do you marke Sir?)
Out of the profound circumambulation of my supernaturall
wit Sir (do you vnderstand?)
Your sister Lelia Sir you know is a woman,
As another woman is Sir.
Fort.
Well, and what of that?
Will.
Nay nothing Sir, but shee fell in loue with one Sophos
a very proper wise young man Sir:
Now Sir, your Father would not let hir haue him, Sir:
But would haue married hir to one Sir,
That would haue fed hir with nothing but barly bag puddings
and fat bacon:
The foole ye know has fortune to land:
But M. Lelias mouth doth not hang for that kind of dyet.
Fort.
And how then?
VVill.
Marrie then there was a certaine craking, cogging,
pettifogging, buttermilke slaue Sir, one Churms Sir,
that is the very quintessence of all the knaues in the bunch;
And if the best man of all his kin had been but so good as a
yeoman mans sonne:
He should haue been a markt knaue by letters patents,
And hee Sir comes me sneaking, and cosens them both of
their wench, and is run away with hir:
And Sir belike hee has cosend your father heere of a great
deale of his mony too.
Nurse.
Sir your father did trust him but too much;
But I alwaies thought he would prooue a crafty knaue.
Gripe.
My trusts betrai'd, my ioyes exil'd:
Griefe kils his heart, my hopes beguil'd,
Fort.
Whtere golden gaine doth bleare a fathers eyes,
That pretious pearle fetcht from Pernassus mount,
Is counted refuse, worse then Bullen brasse;
Both ioyes and hope hang of a silly twine,
That still is subiect vnto flitting time:
That tournes ioy into griefe, and hope to sad despaire,
And ends his dayes in wretched worldly care.
Were I the richest Monarch vnder heauen,
And had one daughter thrice as faire,
As was the Grecian Menelaus wife,
Ere I would match hir to an vntaught swaine,
Though one whose wealth exceeded Crœsus store,
Hir selfe should choose, and I applaud hir choise,
Of one more poore then euer Sophos was,
Were his deserts but equall vnto his.
If I might speake without offence;
You were to blame to hinder Lelias choice.
As she in Natures graces doth excell:
So doth Minerua grace him full as well.
Now, by cocke and pie, you neuer spoke a truer
word in your life, hees a very kind gentleman:
Will.
O nobly spoken: God send Pegge to prooue as
wise a woman as hir Mother, and then we shall be sure to
haue wise children.
Nay if he be so liberall: olde Gransire you shall giue him
the good-will of your daughter.
Gripe.
She is not mine: I haue no daughter now,
That I should say I had, thence comes my griefe:
My care of Lelia, past a fathers loue,
My loue of Lelia makes my losse the more.
My losse of Lelia drowns my heart in woe:
My hearts woe makes this life a liuing death:
Care, Loue, Losse, Hearts-woe, liuing death,
Ioyne all in one, to stop this vitall breath.
Curst be the time I gap't for golden gaine,
I curse the time, I crost hir in hir choice.
Hir choyce was virtuous, but my wil was base,
I sought to grace hir from the Indian Mines,
But she sought honour from the starrie Mount:
What franticke fit possest my foolish braine?
What furious fancie fired so my heart,
To hate faire Virtue and to scorne desert?
Fortunatus.
Then father giue desert his due,
Let Natures graces and faire virtues giftes,
One sympathie and happy consort make,
Twixt Sophos and my sister Lelias loue:
Conioyne their hands, whose hearts haue long beene one,
And so conclude a happy vnion.
Gripe.
Now tis too late:
What Fates decree, can neuer be recall'd:
Hir lucklesse loue is fall'n to Churms his lot,
And he vsurps faire Lelias nuptiall bed.
Fortunatus.
That cannot be: feare of pursuit must needes
prolong his nuptiall rights.
And haue faire Lelia to his louely bride,
Ile follow Churmes what ere betide.
Ile be as swifte as is the light foote Roe,
And ouertake him ere his iournies end:
And bring faire Lelia backe vnto my friend.
Gripe.
I, heers my hand: I do consent,
And thinke hir happie in hir happie choice,
Yet halfe foreiudge my hopes will be deceiu'd.
But Fortunatus: I must needes commend,
Thy constant mind thou bear'st vnto thy friend.
The after ages wondring at the same:
Shall sait's a deede deseruing lasting fame.
Fort.
Then rest you here til I returne againe,
Ile go to Sophos ere I goe along:
And bring him here to keepe you company.
Perhaps he hath some skill in hidden arts,
Of Planets course, or secret magicke spells,
To know where Lelia and that Foxe lies hid,
Whose craft so cunningly conuaid hir hence.
Exit Fortu.
Gripe.
I: here Ile rest an houre or twaine,
Till Fortunatus doe returne againe.
Will.
Faith Sir, this same Churms is a very scuruy Lawer:
For once I put a case to him: and me thought his law was
not worth a pudding.
Gripe.
Why what was your case?
Will.
Marry Sir, my case was a gooses case:
For my dog wirried my neighbours sow, and the sow died.
Nurse.
And hee sued you vpon wilfull murther?
VVill.
No: but he went to law with me, and would make
me either pay for his sow, or hang my dogge:
Nurse.
To beg a pardon for your dogge?
VVill.
No: but to haue some of his wit for my mony,
I gaue him his fee, and promised him a goose beside, for his counsaile.
Now Sir his counsaile was to denie all was askt me,
Though I knew the case was plaine;
So Sir I take his counsaile: and alwaies when he sends to me
for his goose, I denie it, and craue a longer time to answere.
Nurse.
And so the case was yours, & the goose was his:
And so it came to be a gooses case.
VVill.
True: but now we are talking of geese,
See where Pegge and my Granam Midnight comes.
Enter M. Midnight and Pegge.
Moth. M.
Come Pegge, bestirre your stumpes: make thy
selfe smugge, wench; thou must be married to morrow:
To prepare all things in readinesse.
Pegge.
Why Granam, looke where he is.
VVill.
Ha my sweet Tralilly, I thought thou couldst spie
me amongst a hundred honest men.
Ha my sweet and too sweet: shall I say the tother sweet?
Pegge.
I, say it and spare not.
VVill.
Nay I will not say it, I will sing it.
Thou art mine owne sweete heart,
From thee Ile neuer depart:
Thou art my Ciperlillie:
And I thy Trangdidowne dilly,
And sing hey ding a ding ding:
And do the tother thing,
And when tis done not misse,
To giue my wench a kisse:
And then dance canst thou not hit it?
Ho braue VVilliam Cricket!
How like you this Granam?
Mother M.
Marrie gods bennison light oth thy good
hart, fort:
Yfaith I was an olde doer at these loue songs when I was a girle.
Nurse.
Now by the Marry matters, Peg thou hast got
Pegge.
Faith, I am none of those that loue nothing but
Tum dum diddle,
If he had not beene a merrie shauer, I would neuer haue had
him.
Wil.
But come my wimble lasse, let al these matters passe:
And in a bouncing brauation, lets talke of our copulation:
What good cheere shal we haue to morrow?
Old Grandsir Thick skin, you that sit there as melancholy
as a mantletree, what will you giue vs towarde this merrie
meeting?
Gripe.
Marry, because you told me a merrie gooses case:
Ile bestow a fat goose on ye: and God giue you luck.
Mother M.
Marry wel said old master: eene God giue
them ioy indeed, for by my vay, they are a good sweete
yong couple.
Will.
Granam stand out oth way, for
Enter Fortuna, Soph. & Lelia.
here come gentlefolke wil run ore ye else.
Nurse.
Master, here comes your sonne againe.
Gripe.
Is Fortunatus there?
Welcome Fortunatus: wheres Sophos?
Fortunatus.
Here Sophos is, as much ore-worne with loue,
As you with griefe for losse of Lelia.
Sophos.
And ten times more if it be possible.
The loue of Lelia is to me more deare,
Then is a kingdome or the richest crowne
That ere adornd the temples of a king.
Gripe.
Then welcome Sophos: thrice more welcome now
Then any man on earth to me or mine.
It is not now with me as late it was;
I lowrd at learning, and at vertue spurnd:
But now my heart and mind and all is tournd.
Were Lelia here, I soone would knit the knot
Twixt her and thee, that time could nere vntie,
Till fatall sisters victorie had wonne,
And that your glasse of life were quite outrun.
Will.
Sounds, I thinke he bespur-blind. Why, Lelia stands
Lelia.
And Lelia here falles prostrate on her knee.
And craues a pardon for her late offence.
Gripe.
What Lelia, my daughter? stand vp wench:
Why now my ioy is full:
My heart is lightned of all sad annoy:
Now farewell griefe, and welcome home my ioy.
Here Sophos, take thy Lelias hand:
Great God of heauen your hearts combine
In virtues lore to raise a happie line.
Sophos.
Now Phaeton hath checkt his fierie steeds,
And quencht his burning beames that late were wont
To melt my waxen winges when as I soard aloft:
And louely Venus smiles with faire aspect
Vpon the Spring time of our sacred loue;
Thou great commander of the circled Orbs,
Grant, that this league of lasting amitie
May lye recorded by Eternitie.
Lelia.
Then wisht content knit vp our Nuptiall right:
And future ioyes our former griefes requite.
Will.
Nay an you be good at that, Ile tel you what weele
doe.
Pegge and I must be married to morrow; and if you will,
weele goe all tuth Church together: and so saue Sir Iohn a
labour.
All.
Agreed.
Fortunatus.
Then march along, and lets be gon,
To solemnize two marriages in one.
Exeunt Omnes.
| Wily Beguilde | |