 | Lady alimony |  |
Act. 4.
Scen. 1.
Enter Madam Fricase, Madam Caveare, Madam Julippe, Madam Joculette, Madam Medler, Madam Tinder.Madam Fricase.
How tedious morns these be in our expectance
Of what we tender most?
Caveare.
Credit me Madam,
My Marriage day from th'rising Sun to Night
Seem'd not so long, though it was long enough,
As the slow-running course of this Morns visit.
Julippe.
Desires cannot endure protractive hours,
The Poet has confirm'd our thoughts in this,
Placing our Action far below our Wish:
“Sooner quenched is Loves fire
“With fruition then desire.
Joculette.
That Poet surely was neither Mantuan, Lucian,
nor Claudian.
Medler.
No Sister; nor Alcæus, Eubæus, nor Apuleius;
but some cold-Cucumber spirited Zonocrates, who
never knew actually how to hug his Mistress.
Tinder.
This is the hour and place.
Fricase.
It is so; and no doubt but our feather'd Favorites
have over flown us.
Scen. 2.
Enter Vintress and Drawers.Vintress.
What do you lack my Princely Beauties?
Caveare.
What your Sex cannot furnish us with; my
dainty Dabrides.
Vintress.
Not any, Madam; but Gallants are men of
their words; they will stand to their tackling upon occasion:
will you be pleas'd Noble Ladies in their absence,
selves, take a turn in the Garden?
Medler.
Slid does she hold us for Andalisian Studs,
that can breed by the ayr, or procreate of our selves?
Fricase.
Well, her meaning is good; we will accept her
offer: and take a walk or a chearful repose at our pleasure:
and in it let each of us for want of more real Objects,
entertain an imaginary apprehension of their absent
Lover.
Knocking within.
Drawer.
Anon, Anon Sir;—quick, quick as Erebus,
good Jeremy.—Uds so, what a clattering they make? I
verily think our old Titere Tews and Bugle Blews are
come to Town, they keep such a damnable quarter.
2. Drawer.
They knock as they were mad men in the
Percullis;—quick, quick, more Attendants in the Unicorn.
—There goes none to the Anwarp. The Lion and the
Roebuck have not one Drawer to attend them.—Who
goes into the Ladies Garden?
1. Drawer.
We shall have a brave Term, if we stir not
our stumps better,
Exeunt.
Julip.
Th'Elyzian Groves so richly beautefied,
Deckt with the tufted verdure; watered
With Christal Rills, and cloath'd above conceipt
In native Diapry: may Emblems be
Of this delicious Platform, where each sense
May sate its quest with sweet satiety.
Jocul.
And th'edifying sense with melody.
Voices of Nightingals
Hark how that ev'ning quire of Nightingals
Warble with shrillest notes, pricks at their brests,
Tereus incestuous Crime; as if't had been
A fact inexpiable: wherein we doubt
What we should do if were put unto't.
This is a Garden sure of great frequent.
Caveare.
Lucullus nor the Roman Argentine
Had ne're the like: nor with compleater beauties
More gracefully imbellish'd: it might be
Styl'd the Spring Garden for variety
Addrest for amorous Parliance: and indeed
To make the Bargain up:—you know my meaning.
Fricase.
Thou art a dang'rous Beagle.—What say yon Ladies.
In this perpetual Spring-like sweet retire
To gratifie her court'sie and conduct
Who tender'd these respects, let's have a Frolick;
A Jovial Frolick till th'Platonicks come.
Whom we must chide, and with some discontent
Tax for their slowness.
All.
The motion's wondrous good,
We all assent to't.
Joculette.
But in this assent
Scatter such freedom as it may appear
Our Fortunes be our own: and that no eye
Of jealousie or parcimonious thrift
Can bound our humour.—Lets call up the Drawer.
They ring the Bell.
Enter Drawer.
Your pleasures Madams.
All.
What hast within Boy?
Drawer.
Cakes, Creams, stew'd Prunes, Olivets, Tongues, Tarts, and—
Caveare.
What else, you Jack of all Trades! Doth
your Mistress take us, you nitty napry Rascal, for her Bordella's
Blouses?
Strengthening Oringo Roots,
Quince, Peach, and preserv'd Apricock
With the Stones pendant to't.
With such incentive and salacious Cates,
As quicken hours, and sharpen appetite.
Drawer.
You shall, you shall Madam;—On my life
these be the Ladies of the New Dress; they'l never be satisfied.
Exit.
Caveare.
Let us imagine our selves now to be planted
in the Sparagus Garden; where if we want any thing, it is
discharge a Tavern Bill at any time.
Scen. 3.
Enter again the Vintress and Drawer with Wiue and Fruit.Vintress.
How is it Noble Ladies?—Your Honours
shall want no rarities that our Store-house may afford
you.
Caveare.
A Glass of Muscadella for me. Here Madam
Fricase, to Mounsieur Florello.
Fricase.
This Curt'sie, Madam, must not beget in you a
forgetfulness of Caranto.
Caveare.
So nearly hee's embosom'd, you need not
fear it.
Julippe.
Nectarella for me; here princely Joculette to
your Salibrand.
Joculette.
Mean time remember loyal Palisado.
Julippe.
No Individual can be well forgot.
Medler.
Medæa shall be mine.—This Madam Tinder
to your Tilly Vally.
Tinder.
First to your own Morisco:—So this Health's
gone round.
Fricase.
Now when our throats are clear, let's joyn together
In some choice Musical Air.
All.
Agreed, agreed;
What shall we have?
Fricase.
What may enliven love,
And feather fancy with Icarian Wings.
All.
We must be mounting then.—Your Subject,
Madam.
Fricase.
Le Drollere Amaranto.
All.
And lines to suit them:—We shall follow you.
Matcht to Shallops without brains,
Whose Demains are in grains,
Stor'd with Neapolitan Mains?
Give us spritely Sprigs of Manhood,
None of these Swads nor airy Squibs,
Who would fain do but cannot.
Valor never learn'd to tremble,
But in Cupids dalliance nimble.
Little good does that stud with a Stallion,
Fancies Alien, weakly joynted,
Meanly manned, worse appointed,
Who would do if he knew how,
But alas he would but cannot.
Yet she bad her Spouse make haste,
Lest by his sojourning long,
She might chance to change her Song,
And do her Ulysses wrong;
What then may we who matched be
With these Haggards madly manned,
Who would gladly do but cannot?
Fade and perish in their Prime:
And like forc'd Andromeda
Estrang'd from Fancies Law!
Shall we Wives and Widows be,
Bound unto a Barren Tree?
To compleat our free desires:
Platonicks there be store
Fitly fram'd and train'd to man it.
Bavin once set a fire
Will not so soon expire;
Let's never stay with such as they,
Who gladly would but cannot.
While our active Pulses beat?
Shall we hug none of our own,
But such as drop from th'Frigid Zone?
Let's rather bid old Love adieu,
And ith' Requests suit for some New
Who have the heart to man it:
Tell us not this nor tell us that,
A Kid is better then a Cat,
And though he show we know not what,
He cannot.
Fricase.
As I'm a Virgin, Ladies, bravely perform'd;
Once more Frontineack, and then a Walk.
She drinks.
This Wine wants Flavour, Sapor, Odour, Vigour;
Taste it, dear Madam, 'tis as pall and flat
As a seer Fly-flap.
Drawer.
Our last years Vintage, Madam, was but small.
Caveare.
It seems so by your measure: this would never
Quicken the Spirit, nor inflame the Blood.
One of the Ladies looking out, discovers their deserted Knights attired like their Favorites: with their Cloaks over their faces.
Lady.
They come, they come, they come.
All.
Let's entertain them with a joynt neglect.
Scene. 4.
As their Husbands pass along, they take occasion of discourse one with another.Knights.
Let us pass by them with regardless scorn.
Sir Reub.
Pox on these over-acting Prostitutes,
They interchange these Expresses as they pass by their Ladies room.
They sate mine appetite.
Sir Tristram.
Fancy so fed
Begets a Surfeit ere it gets to bed.
Sir Gregory.
E're I Platonick turn or Confident,
Or an officious Servant to a Puss
A scorn to my relations.
Sir Arthur.
Or when I
Engage my person, like a profest Boult,
To vindicate a Mistress, who for sale
Would set her Soul at hazard; may my Grave
Be in the Kennel: and the Scavinger
The Pen-man of my Epitaph.
Sir Jasper.
Or I
Embrace a Monkey for a mass of treasure.
Sir Amad.
May never doun seaze on this dounless chin,
When I become an Usher to her sin.
Sir Reuben.
So; let them chaw of this:—our Scean is done,
Wee'l leave the rest to their digestion:
—We must return those Adamits their Cloaths
To make their visits in, or they'r lost men;
But it were strange should they recruit again.
Exeunt.
Scen. 5.
Fricase.How is it Ladies?
Caveare.
Sure, wee'r in a dream,
Whence comes this strangeness?
Julippe.
From the too much freedom
Of our affection: had we kept them still
At a discreeter distance, we had plaid
The wiser Falkners: and caus'd them stoup
Unto our Lure with eager appetite.
Fruits offer'd are least valu'd; got by stealth
Or by surprize, they'r precious.
Joculette.
Shall we sleep
With this affront?
Medler.
Our Spirits were remiss
Should we not pay them home in their own Coin.
Tinder.
Let Tinder lose her Name, her Family,
And Alimony which she values most.
If Tilly suffer not for this disgrace.
All.
We vow the like: revenge may be excus'd,
“For Love resolves to Hate when 'tis abus'd.
Exeunt.
Scen. 6.
The Favourites appear to their half bodies in their Shirts, in rooms above.Florello.
Why; you whoorson Rogue; where's my suit?
—As I hope for mercy, I am half perswaded, that this sliphalter
has pawn'd my Cloathes.
Caranto.
Nay; as our rooms be near, our fates are all alike.
If my visit be admitted, I must present it naked.
Joculette.
When she sees her Salibrand so unmodiously
accoutred, she will jeer him out of his Periwig, and render
him an Adamite Cap a Pe.
Palisado.
Never were Servants without a Dress, less
suitable to Ladies of the New dress.
Salibrand.
We shall be held for Sale-men, or Knights
of the White Livery, if we encounter them thus habited.
Morisco.
Nay rather for Knights oth' Poast; who had
forfeited their broak't Suits for want of swearing.
Tilly.
Nay, for Tumblers, Truckers, or Sculler-men:
Plato in all his Commonweal had never such naked followers.
(Their Pages bring their Clothes.
Florello.
Now, you hemp-strings, had you no time to
nim us, but when we were upon our visits?
Pages.
Your Suits, Sir, were not without employment.
They were seam-rent, and stood in need of stitching.
All.
Go to Rogues, you will never hang well together,
till you be stitcht in an halter.
Pages.
Well, we got more clear gains by this shift, then
you will by your visit.
Aside.
Caran.
We trench too much upon these Ladies patience:
Better too late then never; let us haste
To crown their longing hopes with our attendance.
Delayes in visits quicken our desires,
And in their Objects kindle secret fires.
They come down buttoning themselves.
Flor.
'Tis high Meridian ! wee've lost the time
Of our appointed treatment.
Caranto.
Let's contrive
To bear the face of truth.
Salibrand.
It would do well,
Let's mould it as we go unto the Garden.
Moris.
'Twere vain to call; they'r long ere this dismist.
Palisado.
And with incens'd spirits; which t'allay
Were a Receipt worth purchase.
Tilly.
Th'wound's so green
It must admit a Cure: Our confidence
Prepares us best admittance:—go along.
Scen. 7.
Enter the Alimony Ladies at the other door.Florello.
How opportunely doth this season meet
To give us freedom in our intercourse!
Morisco.
There is a secret influence, no doubt,
Design'd to second us in our desires.
They go towards their Ladies.
Florello.
Madam.
Fricase.
We were Mad dames indeed, should we give
freedom to such injurious Favourite.
Caranto.
This is stormy language; I ever thought our
late neglect would nettle them.
Fricase.
You can affront us, Sir, and with your wit
Take a deep draught of Lethe and forget.
Florello.
Forget! Slid I did ne're affront you.
Fricase.
No;
Nor with a scrude contemptuous look pass by us
When we were at our Treat: and with a scorn
Not onely sleight us, but impeach our fame.
Florello.
I call the Heav'ns to witness, never I.
Fricase.
Perfidious Wretch, this did I hear and see,
And such Records cannot deluded be.
Your Words, Sir, are registred.
Florello.
Pray, lets' hear them.
Fricase.
You begun first with what your ulcerous flesh,
If I be not deceiv'd, infected is.
The Favourites, as they appear'd to their half bodies in the preceding Sceane; so the deserted Knight become
Husbands.
Ha hah-hah—How neatly be these Widgeons
catcht in their own Springes!
Trillo
from the Gallery.
Bravely continued, Timon, as I live.
Each subtil strain deserves a Laurel sprig.
Fricase.
“Pox on these over-acting Prostitutes
They sate mine appetite.
Caranto.
What might I say
That should dis-relish Madam Caveare?
Caveare.
You rant it bravely Sir; “Fancy so fed
“Begets a surfeit ere it gets to Bed.
Julippe.
You Palisado stand more resolute;
“E're I Platonick turn or Confident,
“Or an officious Servant to a Puss
“Whose honour lies at stake, let me become
“A scorn to my relations.
Joculette.
“Or when I,
(Thus I deblazon you, base Salibrand)
“Ingage my Person, like a profest Boult,
“To vindicate a Mistress, who for sale
“Would set her Soul at hazzard, may my Grave
“Be in the Kennel: and the Scavenger
“The Pen-man of my Epitaph.
Medler.
“Or I,
(Thus you renounce your Medler, Don Morisco)
“Embrace a Monkey for a mass of treasure.
Tinder.
Nor would Sir Tilly be one hair behinde
In scornful dereliction of our sex.
“May never doun seize on his dounless Chin
“When He becomes an Usher to our sin.
Florel.
The Devil's a Witch, and hast impostur'd them.
All., Platon.
Do you believe all this?
Ladies.
As we do you
Stains to true love and all society.
Henceforth observe your distance as you tender
Fame, Freedom, Life:—else we do vow Revenge
(Exeunt.
Florello.
So, we are lost;
We must go cast about for some New Ayry,
For these be fledg'd and flown.
Caranto.
By this prevention
I'le hate a Mistress of such rare invention.
Palis.
It seems their Spleans for picking quarels sought,
In pressing what we neither spake nor thought.
(Exeunt.
Scen. 8.
Enter two Sivil Merchants.1. Merchant.
Our Duke Eugenio is safe return'd
Loaden with Trophies, Spoils and Victories.
2. Mer.
Those Hectors too who lanched forth for Tunis:
Have shown their valour: and inrich'd their Fortunes
Which languish'd in despair before this voyage
Above expectance: rich Rix Dollers are
Sown like Pactolus sand: their pockets cramm'd
With Indian Ore.
1. Merchant.
What will not prowess do
Where hope of honour, promise of reward,
Or Countreys fame, th'attractiv'st lure of all,
Give spirit to mens actions?
2. Merchant.
This appears
Instanc'd in them to life: for by their hazard
Successfully compleated, Forrain Sails
Ne're came so richly fraughted.
1. Merchant.
It were well
The rest of our stout Myrmidons, whose Courage
Stands for the Wall, or in a Tavern quarrel,
Or an Highways surprise; to raise a stock
To feed their debaucht visits, were so imploy'd:
It would secure our Commerce.
2. Merchant.
This good Duke
Will regulate no doubt, his State-affairs
With that Composure, as no fruitless weed
Shall promise to it self-long nourishment
Within the Coast of Sivil.—What means this?
A noise of Clarions, Surdons, Fifes, Plausulets within.
The Dukes approaching in triumphant state:
Herald.
Make clear the way, room for his Excellence.
Never did Sivil shew more like her self,
Nor beautifi'd with a more graceful presence
Since her foundation.
| Lady alimony | |