 | The Bride |  |
The fourth Act.
The first Scene.
Maligo and Rhenish meeting Horten.Mal.
It should be he by the description was made of him.
Rhe.
Let us salute him then. If your name be Horten sir?
Hor.
I own no other.
Mal.
We are commended to you by some freinds of yours,
that request for us your leave to see rarities and antiquities
you have, and for which you are so much spoken of abroad in the
world.
Hort.
The world I do beleeve speakes grosly of me;
Such things, a prodigall vainesse being one
That lives by my endeavors: have no state
But what my labor purchaseth.
Mal.
May we have leave to walke to your house?
Hor.
And command
The sight of all. I must confesse my care
Of knowing and possessing rarities
Makes me so skilfull, I dare undertake
To pick a sallet out of Dioscorides,
Shall feast the Doctors colledge, with rare practises
Stranger then Æsons restitution
To youth by Magick. From my garden sir
I can produce those simples, shall out-worke
All the compounds of drugs, and shew like miracles
Compar'd with them. What needs the weapon salve,
Condemn'd by some for witchraft? when each dunghill
Affords the Persicaria, that on wounds
Works the like Magick. Panax Coloni
Is known to every rustick; and Hipericon.
And yet we must from Memphis and Judes
Fetch Balsame, though sophisticate; there is not
An ounce in Europe, will endure the triall
Of milke or water. Yet my Ladyes gentlewoman
Bit by her Monkey, sweares by her lost maydenhead
The world hath not a Balsame like to that
Her closet yeelds; when 'tis perhaps but oyle
A little aromatiz'd for lamps.
Rhe.
You are learned likewise in antiquities.
Hor.
A little sir.
I should affect them more, were not tradition
One of the best assurances to show
They are the things we thinke them. What more proofes
(Unlesse perhaps a little circumstance)
Have we for this or that to be a peece
Of delphos ruines? or the marble statues
Made Athens glorious, when she was suppos'd
To have more images of men then men?
That is not legible but through an optick,
Tells us its age; that in some Sibills cane
Three thousand yeares ago it was an altar.
'Tis satisfaction to our curiosity;
But ought not to necessitate beliefe.
Mal.
Antiquities sir are grown of late good merchandize.
Hor.
Th'affection of some Princes hath begot
An imitation, and 'tis nobly done.
For by such things mans knowledge is inform'd
In principles of art, and many times
They light upon instruction by them, that
Direct invention to recover what
Neglect or ignorance hath lost.
Rhe.
Pray' sir what are the rarities and antiquities you have?
Hor.
Nor Pliny sir, nor Gesner ever made
Discription of a creature, but I have
Some particle thereof: and for antiquity
I do not store up any under Grecian.
Your Roman antiques are but modern toyes
Compar'd to them. Besides, they are so counterfet
With mouldings, 'tis scarce possible to find
Any but copies.
Mal.
Yet you are confident of yours that are of more doubt.
Hor.
Others from their easinesse
May credit what they please. My triall's such
Of any thing I own, all the impostors
That ever made antiquity ridiculous
Cannot deceive me. If I light upon
Ought that's above my skill, I have recourse
To those whose judgements at the second view
(If not the first) will tell me what Philosophers
That eylesse, noselesse, mouthlesse statue is,
And who the workman was, though since his death
Thousands of yeeres have been revolv'd—
The second Scene.
To them Justice Ferret, Mrs. Ferret and Bride.Fer.
A good evening to you neighbour Horten.
Hor.
And to your worship.
M. Fe.
My husband will still be before me, to prevent the amen
of a shrew.
Fer. and Hort. whisper.
Mol.
You are happily met Mistresse Bride.
Rhe.
But 'tis my suddain wonder what accident should guide
her this way.
M. Fe.
These gentlemen are witnesses to the old mans deeds,
as well as my worshipfull husband
Bri.
The fortune of this day hath led me through
Events both strange and dangerous. I hope
As you are Gentlemen that you will make
A faire construction of me, though the vulgar
Borrow discourse and pastime from my act.
Mal.
You are a brave woman. Yet had I opportunity—
Rhe.
She is sure a light heeld wench, and if—
Hor.
With all my heart and welcome.
M. Fe.
Are you making motions now, before I can recover
breath to begin my exordium as my sonne at the University
taught me to say. Neighbour Horten 'tis thus. My selfe and my
husband have this day been eyewitnessesses of strange accidents;
chance upon chance, and fortune upon fortune: one disaster
hath been the cause and cure of another. Now we desire the favour
that we may see your trinkets, knaks and knaveries (pardon
me neighbour I meane no hurt) to delight this melancholick
gentlewoman that hath found and lost, and lost and found a
husband yet no husband—
Hort.
You shall command me: but shee chiefely.
M. Fe.
And shall we see all?
Hort.
All I assure you.
M. Fe.
The great Sea horse what you call that cures women
of the crampe.
What a wanton tempting eye she hath?
Rhe.
I will attempt her.
Hor.
A handsome lasse. I must have her home and give her a
philter.
The third Scene.
To them Kickshaw.Kick.
Vich be de Justice?
M. Fe.
What justice sir?
Kick.
Justice vat you call run up and downe de cony hole.
M. Fe.
My husbands name is Ferret: what's your businesse sir?
Kick.
De he teefe and de shee teefe rob me at vat you call de
little nutcrack house? and he take a me cloake an me have no
vare for my money.
Fer.
I know the house he meanes; a place much suspected.
But a few houres since there happened a dangerous uproare about
this gentlewoman; and the delinquents came to complain
first. But had they not conveigh'd themselves away, they should
have been punished.
M. Fe.
With what tro? a reproofe or a jeer out of your table
book notes, enlarg'd with a peece of a charge; then with a half
bribe and single fees they are released to boast how cheap they
have scaped. Come come you shall back to this house, and be severe,
and wise and say little, let mine be the speaking part, yours
the doing: I'le make them come off and on roundly. Do you
thinke I can keep house with bare warrants and mittimusses?
Fer.
Will you with us neighbour?
Hor.
I desire to be excused.
M. Fer.
By all meanes neighbour; you are an officer.
Hor.
What shall become of this gentlewoman then?
M. Fe.
Please these gentlemen to walke a turne or two with
her? The evening's pleasant if the mist rise not.
Hor.
I had rather I had her at home.
Both.
We are her servants.
Kick.
Is de fine vench.
We will along with you sir to this righteous—
Fer.
Riotous you would say.
M. Fe.
No sir 'tis routous place; and my husband shall ferret
the hee theeves and the shee theeves holes never feare it.
Hor.
To have seen this wench and not to enjoy her, is such a
Tantalizing to me.
Exeunt.
Kick.
Me sall turn back agen from you to dis fine vench. Me
give her my dublet cost two tree pound for lye vid her two tree
time, Oh fine vench!
Exit.
Mal.
Tis most opportune.
Rhen.
Could I but remove him.
Mal.
Please you to walke, and let my hand support you.
Rhe.
Please her to be my charge.
They strive which should lead Bride.
Mal.
I'le be your servant Lady.
Bri.
What meane ye gentlemen?
Mal.
To do you manly service.
Rhe.
If you could sir.
Mal.
How sir?
Bri.
I am betrai'd unto a new misfortune.
There is a malice in the stars that guide me,
Which yet seem wanton, as their influence
Were but a sportive mockery to show
The various fates that do depend upon it.
I have had strange deliverance; but th'event
Of this is full of horror. I pray' gentlemen
Do not make me the object for a quarrell.
Your gravity should be judicious,
And not minde trifles: such as youthfull bloud
Heated with wine can no way be excus'd for.
Mal.
He shall not touch you his belly is nothing but a tun
full of red herring, and boyld water.
Rhe.
And thou art a shotten herring Jackalent Spanyard.
Mal.
A word in privat.
They go aside, and seem to threaten and challenge one another.
Rhen.
What you dare sir.
Bri.
A challenge sure. Some happy chance direct
Ayd to prevent a mischiefe:
Kick-shaw returnes.
Kick.
Me be your servant madame.
Bri.
Would you would guide me to some house.
To de house of good fellowship, or de nax dish.
Here be de fine morall.
Viles Dutch and Spanish make a fray
De Frenchman beare de prize away.
Exit. with Bride.
Mal.
You'l meet me then?
Rhe.
I will not fayle you.
Mal.
But wher's the gentlewoman? where hath the mist concleal'd
you?
Rhe.
We have differ'd finely about a woman in a cloud.
Mal.
We must not so loose her.
The foureth Scene
To them Theophilus and Raven.Rhe.
Saw you a gentlewoman sir?
Mal.
Her sweet hart! let us avoid him least we be discover'd.
Rhe.
I'le home and be drunk, and then perhaps grow friends
with you.
Exeunt.
The.
The Merchants? were they not?
Rav.
Doubtlesse the same.
The.
What Gentlewoman should that be they askt for?
Rav.
Some Bonaroba they have been sporting with. Your
outlandish merchants are notable barterers for such English ware
Many of them keep their recreations at pension; and sometimes
two copartners will share as even nightly.
The.
That's strange; if love will brooke no rivalls, lust should
Being the more raging passion.
Rav.
'Tis common.
The.
How common?
Rev.
Wenching is like freindship hath all things common.
The.
The mist is great: have we not lost our way?
We might e're this have got to th'waters side
Though we had trod a labyrinth.
Raven draws and runns at Theophilus, and he turning back wounds Rav.
Rav.
Over this stile and then
The.
Ha! what devill mov'd thee to attempt it.
Rav.
Pox on these French blades; no point!
With mine owne ruine. Hell hath left me yet
One meanes t'expresse my malice. In my death
Dye to all knowledge of thy self; the world
Besides me ownes it not—
Fals and lyes as if he were dead.
The.
I cannot give
Utterance unto my thoughts; the narrow passage
Is choakt up with a multitude, that strive
Which should first issue forth. How fruitlesse envy
Brings on its own destruction! Innocence
Is proofe 'gainst all the battery of malice:
And he that's arm'd with't needs not feare t'encounter
The most severe tribunall. Though I am
Guiltlesse to heaven, yet I shal appeare
Foule to opinion wanting testimony;
And th'act makes me the lawes; I am no more
The subject of my conscience, which by judgement
Must be determin'd. Can I not prevent it?
Flight may procure my safety. 'Twill bring on
A greater danger, and cause supposition
That I am guilty by the circumstance
Of mine owne feares.
Within.
Help, help, a rape. Villaine keep back.
The.
Horrors on both sides round me.
Hath my crosse fortune found new instruments
To draw more mischiefes on me! By the voyce
(A womans weakly utter'd, as if fainting
Under some violence) 'tis neer this hedge.
I'le ayd her, though my ruine lay in ambush
With twenty murderers.
The fifth Scene.
To them Bride persued by Kick-shaw.Bri.
Out Villaine:
Would I could spet a leprosie upon thee.
Kick-shaw fals on his knees, and Bride holds back Theophilus.
The.
My deerest!
Kick.
Oh pardone moy Monsieur.
The.
Villaine thy end's upon thee.
Bri.
I being safe
Prethee forbeare him.
Kick.
Is no fayr play for give me de prick Monsieur.
The.
How cam'st thou hither sweet?
Bri.
Soone as my feares
Have finisht their effects of trembling,
And that my breath's recover'd, shalt know all.
The.
Monsieur stir not; I have imployment for you
May win your pardon.
Kick.
Vid all mine art; but myne art vill be in mine eele anon;
is faln already into me breeshes.
Bri.
What object's this? Alasse your Cosin Raven
Wounded or dead? what hand hath done it?
The.
This;
Justice made this her instrument. He was
A villaine to me, and betrayd my life
To all those dangers which I overcame
By th'causes strength. And lastly his intents
To murder me, have brought upon himself
This punishment as due.
Bri.
Why dost not fly then?
I'le beare thee company in all adversityes.
Thy person being safe time may effect
A pardon by some composition.
If thou be tane, thou meet'st thy certain end
Mingled with shame; and mine hath the same date:
I'le not out live thee.
The.
Did you bid me fly
To shun the end's before me? sure ther's difference
Twixt meritorious acts, and acts of shame.
I was but justice executioner.
His crime deserv'd death, and he had fair triall
By evidence: see here this pointlesse weapon;
If providence had not ordain'd it so.
Should I then fly? and by my feares beget
A worse suspition? No: I'le meet th'event.
And though I now were circled with the terrors
Of racks and tortures; gibets; executioners;
And all the palsying apprehensions
That ever made a malefactor tremble,
Arm'd as I am, I would encounter all
With a fixt confidence. Just causes never
Did yet miscarry; or if any have
'Twas to the greater glory of the cause.
And Monsieur 'tis your imposition
To watch this corps, and give to passengers
What answers you have wit or language for.
Bri.
Wilt thou not fly then? prethee do not rashly
Play away safety.
The.
If I fly, and so
Provide for't, will you with me?
Bri.
Even to death,
In that 'shalt find me resolute. I'le vy
Against thy courage with my constancy.
The.
Let's go then
Exeunt.
Kick.
Me be glad you be gon, for me will no stay long vid de
dead man. If de live jentelvmanly so—but me sall see vat
you have in your pocket.
Kick-shaw searching Ravens pocket he stirrs.
Rav.
Oh? a surgeon.
Kick.
De man be no dead: but me sall make you dead rader
den go vidout your money.
Kick. offers to take the sword from Raven and he riseth.
Rav.
What wilt thou villaine?
'Tis time then to leave off counterfeting
Kick.
Dis be de jentelman hire me to vark at de vedding; but
he no know me, and day be sure de jentelman an de jenteluman
dat run avay togeder.
Rav.
I'm wounded, but I hope not mortally;
I have no feeling of those accidents
Are deaths forerunners. Would I had a surgeon.
If I survive, I will convert this mischiefe
Into a benefit; and by his flight
As by his death. Sir you can witnesse for me
How and by whom I did recieve this wound.
Although you know him not, make a description.
Kick.
Pardon me Monsieur; me no see him do it.
Rav.
You must dispense with scruple
If you will serve my purposes a little,
I can and will be thankfull; otherwise
What e're you are I can betray your life
For your intent of rape.
Kick.
Me be your servant Monsieur. Me do any ting; swear
any ting; go to de divell along vid you rader den be hang.
Rav.
Go with me to a surgeon.
The sixth Scene.
To them Goodlove with three or foure servants.Good.
We need make greater haste; 'tis almost night;
The mist is risen much.
Rav.
My Uncles voyce. Help a surgeon: assist me now.
Good.
Looke about knaves: I have heard that voyce.
1 Ser.
Here sir a man wounded.
2 Ser.
'Tis Master Raven.
Good.
My cosin Raven? what misfortune brought
This ill upon him? hold that gentleman.
Kick.
Me no do it Monsieur: he be de yong jentelman in
black, an de jenteluman.
Good.
What gentleman in black? Theophilus?
Rav.
My cosin sir? alasse; ther's so much goodnesse
In him, I must not think he could be tempted
To weare such guilt about him. Good sir have me
Unto a surgeon; and that gentleman
Shall give you satisfaction, ere you give
Him a release.
Kick.
Now me sall be discover, and hang for teefe.
1 Ser.
Wee'l carry him to one Hortens' house, and fetch a surgeon
thither: 'tis close by.
One call my friend justice Ferret; and post you over to
Mistris Brides father: his presence at the examination of these
circumstances will be needfull. 'Till truth satisfies my desires I
am in torment.
Rav.
I have a new designe.
Good.
And till I see
Theophilus.
Rav.
Which I hope ne're will be.
Exeunt.
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