University of Virginia Library

Scena III.

To Her Bright, Newcut, Timothy, Plotwell.
Tim.
Lady, let me tast the Elizium of your lips.

Aur.
Why what are you? you will not leap me, Sir,
Pray know your distance.

Tim.
What am I sweet Lady?
My Father is an Aldermans fellow, and I
Hope to be one in time.

Aur.
Then, Sir, in time
You may be remembred at the quenching of
Fired houses, when the bells ring backward, by
Your name upon the Buckets.

Tim.
Nay they say
You have a good wit Lady, and I can finde it
Assoone as another: I in my time have been
Oth' University, and should have been a scholler.

Aur.
By the size of your wit, Sir, had you kept
To that profession, I can foresee
You would have been a great persecuter of Nature,
And great consumer of rush Candles, with
As small successe, as if a Tortoise should
Day and night practise to run races: Having
Contemplated your selfe into ill lookes,
In pitty to soe much affliction,
You might ha past for learned: and 't may be,
If you had fallen out with the Muses, and
Scapt Poetry, you might have risen to scarlet.

Tim.
Heres a rare Lady with all my heart, by this
Light Gentlemen, now have I no more language
Then a dumb parrot, a litle more shee'l jeere me
Into a fellow that turnes upon his toe
In a steeple and strikes quarters.

Br.
And why should you
Be now so dainty of your lips? verily
They are not Virgins, they have tasted Man.

Aur.
And may againe: but then Ile be secur'd,
For the sweet ayre oth' parties. If you
Will bring it me confirm'd under the hands
Of foure sufficient Ladies that you are
Cleane men, you may chance kisse my woman.

New.
Ladie,
Our lips are made of the same clay that yours,
And have not been refused.

Aur.
Tis right you are
Two Inns of Court-men.

Br.
Yes, what then?

Aur.
Known Cladders
Through all the Towne.

Br.
Cladders?

Aur.
Yes, Catholick Lovers,
From Countrye Madams to your Glovers wife,
Or Laundresse; will not let poore Gentlewomen
Take physick quietly, but disturb their pills
From operation with your untaught visits.
Or if they be imployd, contrive small plots
Below staires with the Chamber-maid; commend
Her fragrant breath, which five yards of salutes,
At foure deflowers a Rose, at three kils spiders.

New.
What dangerous truths these are?

Aur.
Ravish a lock
From the yellow waiting-woman, use stratagems
To get her silver whistle, and way-lay
Her pewter knots or bodkin.

New.
Pretty, pretty.

Br.
You think you have abused us now?

Aur.
Ile tell you,
Had I in all the world but forty Mark,
And that got by my needle and making socks;
And were that fortie Mark Mil-sixpences,
Spurroyals, Harry groats, or such odde coine
Of husbandry as in the Kings raigne now
Would never passe, I would despise you.

New.
Lady,
Your wit will make you die a witherd virgin.

Br.
We shall in time when your most tyrant tongue
Hath made this house a wildernesse, and you
As unfrequented as a states man fallen;
When you shall quarrel with your face and glasse,
Till from your pencill you have raisd new cheeks,
See you beg suitors, write Bills ore your doore,
Here is an ancient Lady to be let.

New.
You think you are handsome now, and that your eyes
Make star-shooting, and dart?

Aur.
'T may be I doe.

New.
May I not prosper if I have not seene
A better face in signes, or ginger-bread.

Tim.
yes, I for two pence oft have bought a better.

Br.
What a sweet innocent looke you have!

Plotw.
Fye gentlemen,
Abuse a harmlesse Lady thus, I can't
With patience heare your blasphemies. Make me
Your second Madam.

Tim.
And make me your third.

Aur.
O prodigie to heare an Image speake.
Why, Sir, I tooke you for a Mute ith' Hangings.
Ile tell the faces.

Tim.
Gentlemen doe I
Look like one of them Trojans?

Aur.
Tis so, your face
Is missing here, Sir, pray step back againe
And fill the number; you I hope have more
Truth in you then to filch your selfe away,
And leave my roome unfurnisht.

Plotw.
By this light
She'l send for a Constable straight and apprehend him
For the every.

Tim.
Why Lady doe you think me
Wrought in a Loome, some Dutch peece weavd at Mooreclack?

Aur.
Surely you stood so simply, like a Man
Penning of Recantations, that I suspected
Y' had been a part of the Monopolie.
But now I know you have a tongue, and are
A very Man, Ile think you only dull,
And pray for better utterance.

Plotw.
Lady you make
Rash judgement of him, he was only struck
With admiration of your beauty.

Tim.
Truly
And so I was.

Aur.
Then you can wonder, Sir?

Plotw.
Yes when he sees such miracles as you.

Aur.
And love me can't you?

Tim.
Love you? By this hand
Ide love a dog of your sweet looks; I am
Enamour'd of you Lady.

Aur.
Ha, ha, ha, now surely
I wonder you weare not a cap; your case
Requires warme things, Ile send you forth a Cawdle.

Exit.
Br.
The plague of rotten teeth, wrincles, lowd lunges
Be with you Madam.

Tim.
Had I now pen and inke,
If I were urgd I'de faine know whether I
In conscience ought not to set down my selfe
No wiser then I should be.

Plotw.
Gentlemen
How like you her wit?

Tim.
Wit? I verily
Believe she was begotten by some wit;
And he that has her, may beget plaies on her.

New.
Her wit had need be good it finds her house.

Tim.
Her house? Tis able to find the Court, if she
Be chast to all this wit, I doe not think
But that she might be showne.

Br.
She speaks with salt,
And has a pretty scornefulnesse, which now
I'ue seen I'me satisfied.

New.
Come then away;
To Roseclaps.

Tim.
Lead on, Let us dine: This Lady
Runnes in my head still.

Foot.
Sir, My Lady prayes.
Enter a Footman.
You would dismisse your company, she has
Some businesse with you.

Plotw.
Gentlemen walk softly,
Ile overtake you.

Br.
Newcut 'slight her wit
is come to private meetings.

New.
I, J thought
She had some other vertues. Well make hast,
We'l stay without, when thou hast done informe us
What the rate is; if she be reasonable
Wee'l be her Customers.

Plotw.
Y'are merry, Sir.

Ex. Br. New. Tim.
Enter Aurelia.