 | A Woman is a Weather-cocke |  |
Actus Quintus.
Scen. prima.
Bell.
Titles and State de'e call it: Oh Content!
Thou art both beauty, meanes, and all in marriage:
Ioy dwels not in the Princes Pallaces,
They that enuie em do not know their cares,
Were I the Queene of Gold, it could not buy
An houres ease, for my oppressed heart.
Oh, were this Wedlocke knot to tie againe,
Not all the State and glorie it containes,
Ioyn'd with my Fathers fury, should enforce
My rash consent; but Scudmore thou shalt see,
This false heart (in my death) most true to thee.
Shewes a Knife hanging by her side.
My Lord, my Father, all the Companie
Did note my sodaine sadnesse now at Supper,
Yet came I out, and put on faigned mirth,
And meane to sit out this nights Reuels too,
To auoide all suspect may grow in em,
Least my behauiour should my intent reueale:
Our greefes (like loue) we hardly can conceale,
Yon comes my Sisters: Are the Maskers ready?
Enter Lucida with her Willow Garland on, and Katherine.
Luci.
They are gone to dresse themselues, M. Neuil's come
I would I had not vow'd to liue a Maide,
I am a little taken with that Gentleman,
And yet if Marriage be so full of ill,
Let me be married to my Gyrlond still.
Kate.
Introth thy State is happier much then ours,
Were neuer two (like vs) vnfortunate.
Luci.
Thy case indeed, I needs must pitty much,
Because I thinke thy Vertue slander'd,
But for my Ladie Sister, if she reape
Sad discontent, tis nones but her owne fault,
I knew the passages twixt her and Scudmore.
Bella.
Sister, I wonder you will name a man,
I thinke not on, he was no match for mee,
Your wandering eie, to loue a man lou'd me,
Luci.
Well tis too late now to expostulate.
But my poore little Kate, where is thy man?
Kate.
Lost, lost introth, to morrow I shall heare,
I make account hee's gone some fiue yeares voyage,
Till this disgrace of ours be ouer-blowne,
and for my Captaine Powts, by this time hee
Is ten mile on the Riuer toward Graues end.
Enter Sir Iohn Worldly, with two with Torches and Cudgels.
World.
Stand you two there, Sirrha go you with me.
VVhy how now Girles heere still, what & your Ladyship?
Away, away, I say, go take your places.
Some Torches for my Ladie.
Scud.
You Sirrha,
Exeunt Bell. Lucida, Kate.
Is my Ladie Ninnie awake yet?
Ser.
Yes Sir, she is awake, but she is scant sober, the first
thing she cal'd for, was her Aqua vitæ bottle.
World.
VVho is with her?
Ser.
The good Sir Innocent, and her Gentlewoman,
World.
Go tell em I desire their Companie,
The Maske staies on em say, and de'e heare,
The sides of one a'th Chaire's must be let out,
For her great Ladyship.
Ser.
Marrie shall it Sir.
Exit Seruant.
Enter Neuill, Count, Pendant, and Sir Abraham in their Masking Robes, Sir Abra: knawing on a Capons Legge.
Neu.
Soule man, leaue eating now, looke, looke, you
haue all dropt a your sute.
Abra.
Oh Sir, I was in loue to day, and could not eate,
but heere's one knowes the case is alter'd, lend mee but a
Handkerchiefe to wipe my mouth, and I ha done.
Ne.
Soule, how this Rascall staies with the rest of our
things.
How now son Count, what readie M. Neuill.
Neu.
All readie, readie, onely we tarrie for our Vizards
& our Caps, I put em to a knaue to doing, because I would
haue em the better done.
Abra.
If you put em to a knaue, you are like to haue
em the worse done.
Neu.
Your wit is most actiue, I cal'd him knaue in regard
of his long stay Sir, not his worke.
Abra.
But de'e heare Maist. Neuill, did you bespeake a
Vizard with a most terrible countenance for me.
Neu.
A verie Diuels face, I feare nothing but that it wil
fright the weomen.
Abra.
I would it would, and a huge Mustachios?
Neu.
A verie Turkes.
Abra.
Excellent.
Count.
But do you thinke he will come at all?
Om.
Oh, there he is.
Speakes within,
By your leaue, stand backe, by your leaue.
Enter Scudmore like a Vizard-maker.
Nothing can be done to night, if I enter not.
2 Ser.
Stand backe there, or Ile burne you.
Scud.
T'were but a whoorish tricke Sir.
3 Ser.
Oh Sir ist you, Hart you'le be kild.
Scud.
Marry God forbid Sir.
Ne.
Pray forbeare, let me speake to him,
Oh you vse vs verie well.
Scud.
In good Faith, I haue beene so troubled about
this Gentlemans scuruie face (I take it) tis wonderfull.
Abra.
Well, are you fitted now.
Neu.
Fitted at all points.
Count.
Where are the Caps.
Scud.
Heere Sir.
Pen.
Let me see mine.
Count.
Come helpe me on with mine.
Abra.
This a rare face to fright the Maids i'th Countrey,
heere now Ile pin my purse, come helpe me on.
Ne.
So, so, away, mine being on Ile follow you.
Pray make hast.
Exeunt S. Iohn, Count, Pen. S. Abra.
Ne.
So that doores fast, and they are busied.
About their charge: on with this Robe of mine,
This Vizard and this Cap; helpe me a litle.
Change habit.
Scud.
At first Change I must tell her who I am?
Neu.
Right, tis agree'd, I (leading of the Maske,)
Should dance with Bellafront.
Scud.
And at the second, I come away with her, & leaue
them dancing, and shall finde you at the backe doore.
Neu.
The rest
That followes, is digested in my breast.
Ser.
What would you do? Stand backe,
Vnlesse you can eate Torches.
Enter Count, Pend: Sir Abrahm in their Masking robes.
Count.
Come, come, away for shame.
Sc.
Tis such a tedious rascall. So ha we'e.
Exeunt Maskers.
World.
Thou hast wel fitted em, though thou mad'st em
stay.
Neu.
I forbid any man to mend em Sir, 'good night vnto
your worship.
World.
VVilt not stay?
Ne.
Alas Sir, I haue another to set foorth
This very night: By your leaue my Maisters.
Exit Neuill through them.
2 Ser.
By your leaue, by your leaue, you'l let a man go out?
World.
Now go with me, and let all in that will.
Exit Sir Iohn with them, & run in three or foure.
Enter 2. or 3. setting 3. or 4. Chaires, & 4 or 5. stooles.
Loud Musicke, in which time, enter Sir Iohn Wordly, Sir Innocent, Bellafront, Lucida, Kate, my Lady Ninnie, Mrs. Wagtaile, they seate themselues, Lady Ninnie offers at two or three Chaires; at last finds the great one: they point at her, and laugh. Assoone, as she is set, she drinkes of hir bottle, the Musicke playes, and they enter.
Scud.
I am your Scudmore.
Soft Musicke.
Bell.
Ha?
Scud.
By heauen I am,
Be rul'd by me in all things.
Bell.
Euen to death.
Abra.
Sfut did you not know me by my purse?
Wag.
I should ne're haue knowne you by that, for you
weare it on your head, and other folkes in their pockets.
La: Nin.
Which is my Lord I pray?
World.
The second man
Young Neuill leads.
S. In.
And where's Sir Abraham?
World.
He with the terrible visage.
La. Nin.
Now out vpon him to disfigure himselfe so,
And t'were not for my bottle, I should swound.
Musick & they dance, the second strain, in which Scudm: goes away with her.
Om. Spect.
Good verie good.
The other foure dance, another straine, honor and end.
Count.
But where's the Bride and Neuill?
Om.
Ha.
Abra.
Ware trickes.
World.
Oh, there they come, it was their parts to do so
Enter Scudmore vnvizarded, Bellafront vvith Pistols, and the right Parson.
Count.
This Neuill, this is Scudmore.
Om.
How?
Count.
But heere's my Ladie,
Scud.
No my Gentlewoman.
Abra.
Zoones Treason, I smell powder.
Bell.
In short know, that I am married to this Gent.
To whom I was contracted long ago:
What ease I finde being vn-Ladifyed.
Count.
What Riddle's this?
S. Inno.
Ware the last Statute of two Husbands.
Scud.
Bellafront, pish.
Count.
This is the verie Priest that married me,
Is it not Sister?
Ne.
No.
Enter Neuill like the Parson too.
Abra
Lord blesse vs, heere is coniuring,
Lend me your Aqua-vitæ bottle good Mother.
World.
Hoy-day, the worldes turn'd vp side downe, I
haue heard and seene two or three Benifices to one Priest,
or more,
Pen.
Married not you the Earle?
Par.
Bonafide, no.
World.
You did then?
Neu.
Yes.
Count.
I haue the Priuiledge then.
World.
Right, you were married first.
Scud.
Sir Iohn you doate,
This is a Deuill in a Parsons coate.
Neuil puts off the Priests Weeds, & has a Diuels robe vnder.
Om.
A prettie Emblem.
Neu.
Who married her, or would haue caus'd hir marry
To any man but this, no better was,
Let circumstances be examined,
Yet heere's one more, and now I hope you all,
Perceiue my marrying not Cannon call.
Slips off his Diuels weedes.
Om.
Neuill, whoop.
Count.
Hart, what a deale a Knauery a Priests cloake can
hide, if it be not one of the honestest friendliest Coozenages
that ere I saw, I am no Lord.
Kate.
Life, I am not married then in earnest.
Neu.
So Mistris Kate, I kept you for my selfe.
It boots not to be angry.
S. In. La.
No faith Sir Iohn.
Enter Strange with Powts on his backe.
2 Ser.
Whether will you go with your Calfe on your
backe Sir.
World.
Now more knauerie yet.
Stran.
Prethee forbeare, or I shall do thee mischiefe:
By your leaue, heere's some sad to your merriment: know
you this Captaine?
Om.
Yes verie well.
Kate
Oh Sister, heere's the Villaine slander'd me.
Stran.
You see he cannot stand to't.
Abra.
Is he hurt in the arme too?
Stran.
Yes.
Abra.
Why then by Gods-lid thou art a base Rogue, I
knew I should liue to tell thee so.
La. Nin.
Sir Abraham I say.
Om.
Heauen is iust.
Cap.
What a Rogue are you, is this the Surgeon you
would carry me to?
Stra.
Confesse your slander, and I will I sweare.
Cap.
Nay tis no matter, Ile crie quittance with you,
Forgiue me Mrs. Kate, and know all people
I li'de not with her, but beli'de her once,
And to my recantation, that same Souldier
Enforc'd my hand.
They all looke on the Paper.
Stra.
Yes, heere tis Mistris Kate.
Cap.
I see now how I am cheated, loue him well,
He has redeem'd your honor with his sword.
World.
But where is Strange my Sonne, oh were he heer
He should be married new to make all sure.
Kate.
Oh my Diuining Spirit, hee's gone to Sea.
Cap.
This cunning in her is exceeding good,
Your Sonne, your husband, Strange is murther'd.
Om.
How?
Stran.
Peace, peace, for Heauens sake peace,
Come Sir, Ile carrre you to a Surgeon,
Heer's Gold to stop thy throat, for God-sake peace.
Cap.
Sirra, you haue brought mee to a Surgeon alreadie,
Ile be euen with you.
Of all men liuing I could marrie thee,
VVere not my heart giuen to another man,
Sir you did speake of Strange.
Cap.
These women are as craftie as the Diuell,
Yes, I did speake of him, Sir Iohn, my Lord,
Know Strange is murther'd by that Villaines hand,
And by his wifes consent.
Om.
How?
World.
God forbid.
Cap.
Search presently the Closset and the Vault,
There you shall finde his bodie, tis too true,
The reason all may gesse, her husband wanting
Spirit to do on me what he hath done,
In hope to marrie her, he hath murther'd him.
Kate.
To marrie me, no villaine I do hate him
On this report, worse then I do thy selfe,
And may the plagues and Tortures of a Land
Ceize me, if this be not an Innocent hand.
World.
Fore-God tis most like truth, son Scudmore pray
Looke to this fellow, Gentlemen assist,
Torches, some Torches, Ile go search my selfe.
S. In.
I will assist you.
Count.
But I pray Sir how came you vnto this knowledge
Cap.
From his mouth.
Stran.
Ile saue your labor, and discouer all:
Thou periur'd villaine, didst not sweare thou wouldst not discouer me.
Cap.
I but swore in iest.
Str.
Nay but remember thou didst wish Strange liuing
If euer thou didst tell, Sir all is true,
And would my punishment would ease my Conscience.
World.
To New-gate with him hence, take her along,
Out Murtherers, whoore thou art no child of mine,
Fetch Constable and Officers, Away.
Stran.
Sir do but heare me speake.
World.
Fetch Officers.
Cap.
Go fetch a Surgeon.
Stra.
Sir, you are then too violent, I will baile her.
Kate.
Oh my deere Strange.
Discouers himselfe.
My Sonne.
Scud., Luci., Bell.
Brother.
Om.
Yong Strange.
Cap.
Hart, I was neuer sicke before, helpe me now to a
Surgeon, or I shall swoon instantly.
As 2 leads him he speaks
Thou wer't borne a Roman-Citizen, fare thee well,
And farewell loue, and weomen, ye diseases,
My horse and sword shall be my Mistresses,
My Horse Ile court, my sword shall lye with me.
Exit
Stra.
The way to cure lust, is to bleed I see.
Count.
Tell him al Scudmore, whilst I go a woing again
Sir Iohn will you go along, and my two worshipful Elders,
I pray be you witnesses, Priest goe
Neu. Scud. Bell. Stra.
Kate. Whispers in one
part. Pend. Sir Abra.
& Wag. in another.
not you away, Hart I haue so ruminated
on a VVife, that I must haue
one this night, or I shal run proud.
Mistris Lucida, you did once loue mee, if you doo still, no
more words, but giue me your hand, why are ye doubtfull?
Abra.
Nere looke vpon me M. Lucida, Time was, Time
is, and Times past, Ile none of you now, I am other-wise
prouided.
Pend.
VVell spoken Brazen head, now or neuer Sir Abraham.
Abra.
Then first as dutie binds, I craue consent
Of my two parents deere: If I, say so;
If not, Ile ha her, whether you will or no.
S. In.
How, how.
La. Nin.
I hope you wil not
Abra.
Mam, I am resolu'd, you haue a humour of your
Aqua-vitæ bottle, why shoulde not I haue a humour in a
wife?
World.
An old man were a fitter match for her,
He would make much of her.
Abra.
Much on her, I know not what ye call much making
on her, I am sure I haue made two on her.
Pend.
And that an old man cannot do I hope.
Ne.
Oh thou beyond Lawrence of Lancashire.
S. In.
Come, come, you shall not.
Speake not in vaine, I am to sure to change,
For hand and heart are sure,
Eccesignum, and this haue I done, and neuer lay with hir
World.
Nay, then tis too late,
Tis sure, Tis vaine to crosse the will of Fate.
Sir In. La.
Well, wel, God blesse you.
Ab. & Wag kneel
Abra.
Thankes reuerend couple, and God blesse withall
The little Ninnie that heerein doth spraule,
Parson you shall dispatch vs presently:
Lord how soberly you stand.
Par.
Now truly I could nere stand drunke in my life.
Stra.
Strange and most fortunate, wee must haue a new
Tucke then.
Count.
Is it a match?
Luci.
Tis done.
Count.
Then Bacchus squeeze Grapes with a plenteous hands
Parson you'le take some paines with vs to night;
Come Brothers come, flye Willow to the woods,
And like the Sea, for healths let's drinke whole floods.
Stra.
I consecrate my deed vnto ths Cittie,
And hope to liue my selfe, to see the day,
It shall be shewne to people in a play.
Scud.
And may all true loue haue like happie end,
Women forgiue me; Men, admire my Friend.
World.
On Parson on, and Boy out-voice the Musicke,
Ne're was so much (what cannot heauenly powers,)
Done and vndone, and done in twelue short howers.
Exeunt.
| A Woman is a Weather-cocke | |