University of Virginia Library

ACT V.

SCENE I.

Pandena, Cosmeta, Rhodia, meeting Machessa and Philænis.
Cos.
Lady Machessa, opportunely met.

Pan.
What store of Arms prepar'd?

Mach.
The Country's layd;
Spits, Andirons, Racks, and such like Utensils
Are in the very Act of Metamophosis;
Art is now sitting on them, and they will
Be hatch'd to Engins shortly.

Pan.
Pray y' how doth
The Muster-Roule encrease?

Mach.
As fast as Chloe
Can take their Names; we shall be all great Women.

Phil.
Pray y' what Reward shall you and I have Lady?

Mach.
Why I will be the Queen o'th' Amazons,
And thou o'th' Pigmies.

Phil.
I, but who shall place us
In the Amazonian, and Pigmean Throne?

Mach.
Who but our Swords Philænis? when we have
Setled the Government here at home, we will
Lead out an Army 'gainst those Warlike Dames,
And make 'em all our Vassals.

Phil.
These left handed
Ladies are notable Politicians.
The King of Monomotapa you may
Be sure will be your Enemy, or else
The Book deceives me. But the Agags they
Will sure be for you.

Cas.
Who may the Agags be?

Phi.
Why a black ugly People, that do turn
The inside of their Eye-lids outward, that
They may look lovely; if they catch the Amazons,
They sowce 'em straight, as we do Pig, by quarters,
Or else do pickle 'em up for Winter Sallads.

Mac.
How did you come by all this Knowledge Phil.?
You are a learned Page.

Phil.
Lady, do y' think
I never read to th' Women in the Nurs'ry?
But will you lose one of your Breasts? 'tis pitty
That your left Pap should be burnt off.

Mach.
Why Gyrl?
What use will there be of it?

Phi.
To give suck.
You must go seek out some brave Alexander,
And beg some half a dozen of Children of him,
Or else you'l be no true bred Amazon.

Pan.
Must they have Macedonian Fathers then?

Phil.
I think the Amazonian Queen doth swear
To no such Article when She is Crown'd;
But ord'narily they do so; yet howe'r
Your Grace may send for the three Courtiers,
That you deliver'd from these Ladies here,
They would be glad to be employ'd in any
Such State-affairs. But I'd almost forgot
The Pigmies Conquest.

Pho.
Have you read of them too?

Phil.
Though some say that their Souls are only stopt
Into their Bodies, just as so much Quick-silver
Is put into hot Loves, to make 'em dance
As long as th' heat continues; yet, beleeve it,
They are a subt'le Nation, a most shrew'd
Advising People.

Cos.
How'l you then subdue them?

Phil.
By Policy, set Hays, and Traps, and Springs,
And Pitfals for 'em. And if any do
Dwell in the Rocks, make holes upon the top
As deep as Cups, and fill 'em up with Wine;
You shall have one come presently, and sip,
And when he finds the sweetness, cry Chin, Chin:
Then all the rest good Fellows straight come out,
And tipple with him till they fall asleep;
Then we may come and pack 'em up in Hampers,
Or else in Hand-baskets, and carry 'em whither
We please our selves.

Mach.
A notable Stratagem!
You'l never leave your Policies Phil.

Phi.
But yet
We must draw out some Souldiers howe'r.

Cos.
There's no great need of Souldiers; Their Camp's
No larger than a Ginger-bread Office.

Pan.
And the Men little bigger.

Phil.
What half Heretick
Book tels you that?

Rho.
The greatest sort they say
Are like stone-pots with Beards that do reach down
Unto their knees.

Cos.
They're carri'd to the Wars then
As Chickens are to Market, all in Dorsers,
Some thirty Couple on a Horse.

Phil.
You read
Only Apocryphall History. Beleeve me
They march most formally: I know't there will
Be work enough for Souldiers.

Mach.
Wee'l train up
All the young Wenches of the City here
On purpose for this Expedition,
And't shall be call'd the Female War.

Phil.
I fear
They won't be strong enough to go against 'em;
They have an Enemy doth vex 'em more
Than Horse or Man can.

Mach.
Who, the Cranes you mean?
I'l beg a Patent of Her Majesty
To take up all that fly about the Country,
For the Pigmean Service

Phil.
I, but who
Shall's have to Discipline 'em so, that we
May sly 'em at them off our fists?

Mach.
They fly
In a most war-like Figure naturally:
However we may have a Net cast o'r
Th' Artyllery Yard, and send for th' Gentleman
That bridles Stags, and makes 'em draw Caroches,
Hee'l exercise 'em in a Month or two,
And bring 'em to it easily.

Phil.
We must carry
Six or sev'n hundred of Bird-Cages
And Cony-Coopes along with us.

Mach.
For what?

Phil.
T' imprison Rebels, and there feed 'em up
With Milk, and Dazy-roots. I will so yerk
The little Gentlemen.

Cos.
You must not play
The Tyrant o'r the Wretches.

Phil.
You shall see
[Draws her Sword.
How I'l behave my self. This foreside blow
Cuts off thrice three, this back-blow thrice three more,
This foreright thrust spits half a dozen of 'em,
Bucklers and all, like so many Larkes with Sage
Between them; then this down-right cleaves a stubborn
Two-footed Rebell from the Crown o'th' head
Down to the twist, and makes him double forked
Like a Turn Stile, or some such Engin. Others
I'l knock pall-mall, and make the wretched Caitiffs
Measure their length upon their Mother Earth,
And so bestride 'em, and cry Victory.

Mach.
And what'l you do, when you are seated in
The Throne, to win your Subjects Love Philenis?

Phil.
I'l stand upon a Cricket, and there make
Fluent Orations to 'em; call 'em Trusty
And Well-beloved, Loyall, and True Subjects,
And my good People; Then I'l mount on Horseback,
Shew 'em my little Majesty, and scatter
Five or six hundred single pence among 'em,
Teach 'em good Language by cleft sticks, and Bay-leaves,
And Civilize 'em finally by Puppet-Plays.

Cos.
Most studi'd, and advis'd!

Pan.
The heart of Wisdome!

Rho.
And Soul of Policy!

Mach.
Come little Queen,
Wee'l go and make her Majesty acquainted
With all the Plot; 'twill take her certainly.

Exeunt.

Scen. II.

Adraste, Lucasia, Charistus, Olyndus, Eumela, Florina, Malthora, in Myrtle wreathes.
Adr.
VVas all the Treasure ship'd?

Eum.
All, but the Pictures,
And Statues, they'r reserv'd. I saw the Luxury,
And wealth of Cyprus sail. The Souldier doth
By this time gaze upon't.

Adr.
The news, Charistus,
Of your Adventures here, I dare presume
Hath joyn'd both Armies now. Me thinks I see
The Cyprians standing here, the Cretans there,
And, in a space between them, both Kings meeting
In a most strong Embrace, and so provoking
Clamors and shouts from both sides, and a joyfull
Clattring of Weapons.

Cha.
Beautious Queen, your Vertues
Are greater far than Fame; and you your self
Greater than them! Though Gold and Purple do
Adorn your head, yet you have Wove your self
Far richer Diadems from your Royall Acts,
And made your self Immortall by producing
Immortall things. But though your wreath of Vertue
Hath made what e'r the Sun beholds in all
His course enamor'd by you, yet if I
May pull one single one from out the rest,
There's none, for which you have more Altars rais'd
Unto your Name, than for that Noble Love,
Whose flames you keep still burning in your self,
And cherish in all others.

Adr.
Sir, you have Conquer'd
A Princess, and in her a Queen: I am
Th' addition to your Triumph. We ow much
To you Olyndus.

Olyn.
I can challenge nothing
But my Charistus Friendship. 'Tis to him
You ow these seeds of Peace. Although his Father
Appear'd so tender of him, that when he
Came hither secretly to view the Rites
Of Venus, which Lucasia then perform'd,
The aged Man hasted to th' Oracle
To know what Fortune should attend his Son,
And, for an unexpected answer, did
Banish those Priests for which our King now fights:
Yet for all this, ev'n in this heat of danger,
H' hath made another Venture, and the Kingdom
Now grieves his second loss.

Adr.
Do you know the answer
That the God gave to his enquiring Father,
For which the King did banish all the Priests?

Olyn.
I may repeat it now, th' Event assures me
It meant you no Misfortune, It was this;
Charistus shall his Country save,
If he become his Enemies Slave.

Adr.
I hope th' Event will not fulfill it.

Olyn.
'Tis
Fulfill'd enough to make an Oracle true.

Adr.
I hope you have no Enemies, and for Slave
The Gods avert it!

Olyn.
He's Lucasia's Servant,
There's that fulfill'd; Cyprus is now reputed
The Enemy to Crete; but as for true
And reall Enemies to you Charistus,
The World hath none so Barbarous; your Vertues
Have under this disguise shew'd so much Prince,
That they betrai'd you still to any Eye
That could discern.

Cha.
Honour'd Olyndus, you
Outdo me still. Friends should be alwaies equall:
You must take off, and pare your Vertues, that
You may go even with me. I ow much
To you, Eumela, too.

Adr.
Her service hath
Preserv'd the Kingdom, and refounded Cyprus.

Cha.
Two Scepters are her Debters.

Adr.
But, Eumela,
You might have told me sooner, that Lucasia
Began to feel a Passion; you ne'r knew
That I destroy'd true vertuous Loves; it is
A pleasure to me to perceive their Buddings,
To know their Minutes of Encrease, their Stealths,
And silent Growings; and I have not spar'd
To help, and bring them on.

Eum.
You have so favour'd
Agreeing Souls, that all the VVorld confesseth
Your own is perfect Harmony. But where
The God is Blind, should not the Creature be
Silent, and Close? That which is bred by whispers
VVould dye if once proclam'd.

Luc.
If it were any,
It was a fault of Trust; 'tis more Injustice
To betray secret Love, than to make known
Counsels of State. Cupid hath his Cabinet,
To which, if any prove unfaithfull, he
Straight wounds him with the Leaden Shaft, and so
They live tormented, and dye scorn'd.

Adr.
No more;
'Tis well: I meant not to Accuse, but Praise.
Have you set some to watch, and signifie
The King's Return?

Eum.
Three peacefull Courtiers,
Lerinus, and Ganyctor, and Iringus,
Desir'd that they might bring the News, and so
Are gone unto the Port.

Adr.
My Ladies, you
I hope will clear up now.

Flor.
I have too much
Joy to express it.

Mal.
Could you see my heart,
You'd view a Triumph there.

Scen. III.

To them Philænis.
Phil.
And't please your Highness
There are three Ladies wait without, who, if
You have a vacant Ear, are come t' inform you
Of something neer concerns the State.

Adr.
The old
Vexation's busie still—Pandena and
Cosmeta, and the other—are they not?
Tell 'em they may come in—How shall we do,
Eumela, now to stop their Clamour?

[Ex. Phi.
Eum.
'Tis easie;
There's nothing yet provided; the Return
O'th' King being now so sudden, 'twill amaze 'em,
And make 'em kneel for mercy to you, if
You do but threaten to disclose the Plot.

Scen. IV.

To them Cosmeta, Pandena, Rhodia.
Adr.
Your business Ladies?

Cos.
Please you to dismiss
Those Faces that have Beards?

Adr.
Fear not, they shall not
Betray your Counsels.

Cos.
Please your Highness then,
There's fear that our Design will come to nought,
Our Trust is falsifi'd.

Adr.
How so?

Cos.
VVe came
To ask Machessa about VVeapons, and
She presently demands, how many cases
Of Knives, what Forks we have, Tosting, or Carving?

Pan.
Talk we of Swords, she asks what Crisping Pins
And Bodkins we could guess might easily be
Rais'd through the Common-wealth?

Rho.
VVe spake of Armour,
She straight replies, send in your steel Combs, with
The Steels you see your Faces in, wee'l quickly
Convert 'em into Greaves, and Gorgets.

Cos.
If
This be not treason 'gainst the Female State,
Beleeve not Policy, nor me.

Eum.
Why she
Was your own choice; you cri'd her up as one
That having neither Child, nor Husband, would
Take to her self the Commonwealth as both.

Cos.
We do suspect your sadness sweet Florina.

Rho.
And your retir'dness too Malthora, (as
Demure as you stand here) is deep engag'd.

Pan.
Nor is Eumela free.

Mal.
VVhence do you gather it?

Cos.
Pray y' why those Myrtle wreaths? why your Gates drest?
And your Doors Crown'd?

Flo.
In hope our Lords will shortly
Enter, and Crown 'em more.

Cos.
Most evident
Can there be bolder Falshood? Did we not
Agree to keep out Husbands from our City
And our Minds too? And yet behold there are
Garlands and Flowers prepar'd; and they to be
Receiv'd as Lovers. Husbands are at best
But a sad kind of pleasure; one good Look,
And a Salute's enough at any time
For the Good-man o'th' Family.

Flo.
Pray y' allow
Affection more Expressions; Love doth cease
To be, when that it breaks not out into
Those signs of Joy; as Souls cease to be Souls
VVhen they leave off to shew their Operations.

Pan.
This is no time for vain Philosophy,
VVe are to have a fine State of it shortly,
VVhen Ladies once begin to utter Axioms,
And raise a Faction 'gainst the seven Sages.

Scen. V.

Machessa.
Mac.
And't please your Highness, three Embassadors,
Sent from the Cretan State, do crave admittance.

Adr.
Usher 'em in.

[Ex. Ma. [Eum. whispers the Qu.
Cos.
There's life you see i'th' bus'ness;
Let's yet be true. The fame of our Exploit
Already makes us sought to. There's an Honour
Not usuall too i'th' Number of 'em; when
Arriv'd there three before from the same State?
And 't please you, let Pandena, Rhodia, and I,
Manage their Entertainment?

Adr.
Do so.

Pan.
It shall
All be to th' honour of the Female State.

Cos.
Prepare your self Pandena, here they come.

Scene VI.

To them Machessa ushering Lerinus, Iringus, and Ganyctor, as Embassadors.
Ler.
Most Gratious, most Renowned, and most Beautious.

Cos.
Pray y' be not troublesome; We're taken up
VVholy with the Affairs o'th' Kingdom now.

Irin.
VVhen will your Ladiship have a Vacancy?

Pan.
You are Impertinent; True Politicians
Do never use to answer on the sudden.

Rho.
It is not now as heretofore; the times
Are grown more wise, and more reserv'd; there are
Matters on foot far greater; you must wait—
You are Embassadors.

Gan.
We should not think so,
But that you're pleas'd to tell us so; your usage
Hath a far different Dialect from your Tongue.

Cos.
Were there not VVomen in your Kingdom fit
For this Imployment? I perceive your State
Is utterly unfurnish'd, that it cannot
Send forth three Female Agents.

Irin.
'Tis not, Madam,
The custome of our Master to commit
His Kingdom's secrets to a peece of Chrystall;
That were not to Negotiate, but Betray.

Pa.
You shall meet VVomen here, that are not Crystal,
Those that will find out you, and hide themselves.

Rho.
You shall not need the help of an Interpreter
VVhen we give Audience; Speak what Tongue you will
You shall be understood, each one of us
Hath more than one.

Ler.
VVe easily beleeve it,
Though you should speak none else besides your Native.

Cos.
Pray stand you by, and wait a while.

Ler.
VVe obey.

Cos.
Now will they think the better of us; 'tis
The way to bring our selves in Credit by
Neglecting of 'em thus. I'd have 'em know
VVe were to be saluted at their coming.

Pan.
Their State is very unhappy, that it is
So unprovided: I beleeve these are
The very wisest in the Kingdom; for
They have no Manners.

Rho.
You guess rightly, Madam;
The greatest Counsellors and Lawyers scarce
Know how to make a Leg.

Scen. VII.

To them Philænis.
Phil.
Arm, arm, arm, arm,
The King, and Lords are within sight. Here Madam,
Pray take my Sword, and Helmet.

Cos.
Worthy Gentlemen,
Do y' come to proffer aid from th' Cretan King
To help us 'gainst the Men?

Irin.
No Ladies: we
Come but to tell you that the King is Landed,
They discover themselves.
We are your fellow-Subjects.

Cos.
Fellow-Villaines
Among your selves. Eumela, we may thank
You for all this.

Pan.
But Sister of the Sword,
Great Lady Stickler—

Mach.
Be patient pray y' a while—Take you this Helmet,
And you this Fauchion Sir, and you this Lance;
Embassadours still must be dismiss'd with Presents.

Rho.
Where is our Plate?

Pan.
Our Wealth?

Cos.
Our Jewels?

Mach.
Folly!
Did not my Order bind me to assist
Distressed men?

Cos.
Who would e'r trust a VVoman?

Mach.
The Queen will give y' a fair account.

Adr.
'Tis no
Time to debate things now. The truth is, all
VVas ship'd, and sent the King, as one great Present
From all the Cyprian VVomen. If you do
Desire that he should know how it was rais'd,
For what intended, by what means diverted,
I'l bid him spare his thanks, and tell him 'twas
Not Bounty, but Misfortune that directed
This vast Supply to him.

Cos.
We hope your Highness
Will be so Gratious to us, as to let us
Make the best use yet of our Evils. 'Twill
Be something, if that, which was meant Sedition,
May now be took for Contribution,
And we esteem'd Relievers of the Army.

Adr.
I do engage my Royall word, you shall
Be put in th' Annals, as good Members of
The Cyprian Commonwealth. But heark, the noise!
The Horses, Trumpets, Priests! They come! stand off.

Scen. VIII.

To them 3 Priests of Apollo with wreaths of Lawrell, Demarchus and Dinomachus hand in hand, Pæstanus, Philondas, Souldiers.
The Priests standing on one side, and the Ladies on the other, leaving a free space between 'em, in which Demarchus and Adraste first meet. Then Dinomachus and Adraste receive Charistus and Lucasia; Then Philondas meets Malthora; Then the King and Queen joyn Olyndus and Eumela; The rest then salute, and receive one another with Welcome; While they all thus meet, the Priests on the one side, and the Ladies on the other, sing thus enterchangeably.
1 Priest,
Apollo, who foretell'st what shall ensue,
None speaks more Dark than thou, but none More true;
If Heard, Obscure; but yet if Seen, most Bright;
Day's in thy Visage, in thy Sayings Night.

Pr. Cho.
Day's in thy Visage, in thy Sayings Night.

1 Lady.
Venus makes good what he Decrees,
And Love fulfils what he foresees,
Thus Gods help Gods, thus Mortals ow
Much to the Bayes, much to the Bow.

La. Cho.
Much to the Bayes, much to the Bow.

2 Priest.
Phœbus as Præsent shewes us future things,
Our Trivets Counsell give, our Trees teach Kings,
And whil'st our Oracle instructs the State,
What e'r the Priest shall say the God makes Fate.

Pr. Cho.
What e'r the Priest shall say the God makes Fate.

2 Lady.
What are your Trivets to Loves wings?
They Teach, but these do Conquer Kings:
Venus to Fate adds all the bliss,
She that makes Doves, makes Kingdoms kiss.

La. Cho.
She that makes Doves makes Kingdoms kiss.

La. & Pr.
Thus then the Myrtle and the Bayes we joyn.

Chorus.
And in one Wreath Wisdom and Love Combine.

Dem.
I never raign'd till now. You needed not
Have sent that Ample Treasure; I had all
Wealth in your Loves. Come, Great Dinomachus,
As they joyn'd Voices, so let us joyn Hearts.

Dino.
Sir, your Embraces vanquish far beyond
Your Sword, though happy; you march Conquerour
More by a Glorious Peace, than if your Arm
Had scatter'd Deaths still as you pass'd; your Throne
Grows hence; y'have gain'd what e'r you have not ruin'd;
Your Pow'r rules Cyprus, but your Fame the World.

Dem.
Hate only is between th' Ignoble, when
The Good dissent, 'tis only difference,
No malice; Vertue flames in both, and so
Each must the other Love; their Discords are
More blameless than th' Embraces of the Bad;
'Tis to stand off, rather than bear a Grudge.
And if they fight, when e'r they do lay down
Their VVeapons, they lay down their Anger too,
As we affect then to seem good, and are so,
Let one Oblivion wrap up what hath past
On either side.

Dino.
But I must first ask Pardon;
I've wrong'd a Deity. Great Apollo, be
Thou still propitious. Here I do restore
Thy Blameless Priests. VVhat was but only Darkness,
I thought Contrivance; and the Priest not Loyall,
Because the God was pleas'd to be obscure:
But now th' Event lends light to that, and Me;
And my Charistus doth his Country save
By being thus become his Enemi's Slave.
Peace rest upon 'em both; Apollo spoke it,
And Venus hath perform'd it.

Dem.
As they joyn'd
To make us happy, so let us pay back
United Thanks, and joyn their Deities in
A double Feast. It is not Mens Lot only
To need each other; ev'n the Pow'rs themselves
Give and take help. Affection brings about
VVhat Counsell cannot. Thus the Gods have lent
Love unto VVisdome for an Instrument.

Exeunt Omnes.