 | Rule a Wife, and have a Wife |  |
Actus Secundus.
Scena Prima.
Enter Margarita, and two Ladies, and Altea.Margar.
Sit down and give me your opinions seriously.
1 La.
You say you have a mind to marry Lady.
Marg.
'Tis true, I have for to preserve my credit,
Yet not so much for that as for my state Ladies,
Conceive me right, there lies the main o'th' question,
Credit I can redeem, mony will imp it,
But when my monie's gone, when the law shall
Seize that, and for incontinency strip me
Of all.
1 La.
Do you find your body so malitious that way?
Marg.
I find it as all bodies are that are young and lusty,
Lazy, and high sed, I desire my pleasure,
And pleasure I must have.
2 Lady.
'Tis fit you should have,
Your years require it, and 'tis necessary,
As necessary as meat to a young Lady,
Sleep cannot nourish more.
1 La.
But might not all this be, and keep ye single.
You take away variety in marriage,
The abundance of the pleasure you are bar'd then,
Is't not abundance that you aim at?
Marg.
Yes why was I made a woman?
2 Lady.
And every day a new?
Marg.
Why fair and young but to use it?
1 Lady.
You are still i'th' right, why would you marry then?
Alte.
Because a husband stops all doubts in this point,
And clears all passages.
2 Lady.
What Husband mean ye?
Alte.
A Husband of an easy faith, a fool,
Made by her wealth, and moulded to her pleasure,
One though he see himself become a monster,
Shall hold the door, and entertain the maker.
2 Lady.
You grant there may be such a man.
1 Lady.
Yes marry, but how to bring 'em to this rare
Perfection.
2 Lady.
They must be chosen so, things of no honour,
Nor outward honesty.
Marga.
No, 'tis no matter,
I care not what they are, so they be lusty.
2 La.
Me thinks now a rich Lawyer, some such fellow,
That carries credit, and a face of awe,
But lies with nothing but his clients business.
Marg.
No there's no trusting them, they are too subtil,
The Law has moulded 'em of natural mischief.
1 Lady.
Then some grave governor,
Some man of honour, yet an easy man.
Marg.
If he have honour I am undone, I'le none such,
I'le have a lusty man, honour will cloy me.
Altea.
'Tis fit ye should Lady;
And to that end, with search and wit and labour,
I have found one out, a right one and a perfect,
He is made as strong as brass, is of brave years too,
And doughty of complexion.
Marga.
Is he a Gentleman?
Alt.
Yes and a souldier, as gentle as you would wish him,
A good fellow, wears good cloaths.
Marga.
Those I'le allow him,
They are for my credit, does he understand
But little?
Altea.
Very little.
Marga.
'Tis the better,
Have not the wars bred him up to anger?
Al.
No, he will not quarrel with a dog that bites him,
Let him be drunk or sober, is one silence.
Marg.
H'as no capacity what honor is?
For that's the Souldiers god.
Alt.
Honour's a thing too subtil for his wisdom,
If honour lye in eating, he is right honourable.
Marg.
Is he so goodly a man do you say?
Altea.
As you shall see Lady,
But to all this is but a trunk.
Marg.
I would have him so,
I shall adde branches to him to adorn him,
Goe, find me out this man, and let me see him,
If he be that motion that you tell me of,
And make no more noise, I shall entertain him,
Let him be here.
Altea.
He shall attend your Ladiship.
[Exeunt.
Enter Juan, Alonzo, and Perez.
Juan.
Why thou art not married indeed?
Perez.
No, no, pray think so,
Alas I am a fellow of no reckoning,
Not worth a Ladies eye.
Alon.
Wou'dst thou steal a fortune,
And make none of all thy friends acquainted with it,
Nor bid us to thy wedding?
Perez.
No indeed,
There was no wisdom in't, to bid an Artist,
An old seducer to a femal banquet,
I can cut up my pye without your instructions.
Juan.
Was it the wench i'th' veil?
Perez.
Basto 'twas she,
The prettiest Rogue that e're you look'd upon,
The lovingst thief.
Juan.
And is she rich withal too?
Perez.
A mine, a mine, there is no end of wealth Coronel,
I am an asse, a bashfull fool, prethee Coronel,
How do thy compaines fill now?
Juan.
You are merry Sir,
You intend a safer war at home belike now.
Perez.
I do not think I shall fight much this year Coronel,
I find my self given to my ease a little,
I care not if I fell my foolish company,
They are things of hazard.
Alon.
How it angers me,
This fellow at first fight should win a Lady,
283
My time and art in searching out their subtleties,
Like a fool'd Alchymist blow up my hopes still?
When shall we come to thy house and be freely merry?
Perez.
When I have manag'd her a little more,
I have an house to entertain an army.
Alon.
If thy wife be fair, thou wilt have few less
Come to thee.
Perez.
But where they'l get entertainment is the point Signior
I beat no Drum.
Alon.
You need none but her taber,
May be l'le march after a month or two,
To get me a fresh stomach. I find Coronel,
A wantonness in wealth, methinks I agree not with,
'Tis such a trouble to be married too,
And have a thousand things of great importance,
Jewels and plates, and fooleries molest me,
To have mans brains whimsied, with his wealth:
Before I walk'd contentedly.
Enter Servant.
Serv.
My Mistris Sir is sick, because you are absent,
She mourns and will not eat.
Perez.
Alas my Jewel,
Come I'le goe with thee, Gentlemen your fair leaves,
You see I am ti'd a little to my yoke,
Pray pardon me, would ye had both such loving wives.
Juan.
I thank ye
[Exit Perez, Servant.
For your old boots, never be blank Alonzo,
Because this fellow has outstript thy fortune,
Tell me ten daies hence what he is, and how
The gracious state of matrimony stands with him,
Come, let's to dinner, when Margarita comes
We'l visit both, it may be then your fortune.
[Exeunt.
Enter Margarita, Altea, and Ladies.
Marg.
Is he come?
Altea.
Yes Madam, h'as been here this half hour,
I have question'd him of all that you can ask him,
And find him as fit as you had made the man,
He will make the goodliest shadow for iniquity.
Marg.
Have ye searcht him Ladies?
Omnes.
Is a man at all points, a likely man.
Marg.
Call him in Altea.
[Exit Lady.
Enter Leon, Altea.
A man of a good presence, pray ye come this way,
Of a lusty body, is his mind so tame?
Alt.
Pray ye question him, and if you find him not
Fit for your purpose, shake him off, there's no harm
Done.
Marg.
Can you love a young Lady? How he blushes!
Alt.
Leave twirling of your hat, and hold your head up,
And speak to'th' Lady.
Leon.
Yes, I think I can,
I must be taught, I know not what it means Madam.
Marg.
You shall be taught, and can you when she pleases
Go ride abroad, and stay a week or two?
You shall have men and horses to attend ye,
And mony in your purse.
Leon.
Yes I love riding,
And when I am from home I am so merry,
Marg.
Be as merry as you will: can you as handsomely
When you are sent for back, come with obedience,
And doe your dutie to the Lady loves you?
Leon.
Yes sure, I shall.
Marg.
And when you see her friends here,
Or noble kinsmen, can you entertain
Their servants in the Celler, and be busied,
And hold your peace, what e're you see or hear of?
Leon.
'Twere sit I were hang'd else.
Marg.
Let me try your kisses,
How the fool shakes, I will not eat ye Sir,
Beshrew my heart he kisses wondrous manly,
Can ye doe any thing else?
Leon.
Indeed I know not;
But if your Ladiship will please to instruct me,
Sure I shall learn.
Marg.
You shall then be instructed:
If I should be this Lady that affects ye,
Nay say I marry ye?
Altea.
Hark to the Lady.
Marg.
What mony have ye?
Leon.
None Madam, nor friends,
I wou'd doe any thing to serve your Ladiship.
Marg.
You must not look to be my Mr Sir,
Nor talk i'th' house as though you wore the breeches,
No, nor command in any thing.
Leon.
I will not,
Alas I am not able, I have no wit Madam.
Marg.
Nor do not labour to arrive at any,
'Twill spoil your head, I take ye upon charity,
And like a Servant ye must be unto me,
As I behold your duty I shall love ye,
And as you observe me, I may chance lye with ye,
Can you mark these?
Leon.
Yes indeed forsooth.
Marg.
There is one thing,
That if I take ye in I put ye from me,
Utterly from me, you must not be sawcy,
No, nor at any time, familiar with me,
Scarce know me, when I call ye not.
Leon.
I will not, alas I never knew my self sufficiently.
Marg.
Nor must not now.
Leon.
I'le be a Dog to please ye.
Marg.
Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye.
Leon.
I were to blame else.
Marg.
Kiss me again; a strong fellow,
There is a vigor in his lips: if you see me
Kiss any other, twenty in an hour Sir,
You must not start, nor be offended.
Leon.
No, if you kiss a thousand I shall be contented,
It will the better teach me how to please ye.
Altea.
I told, ye Madam,
Marg.
'Tis the man I wisht for; the less you speak.
Leon.
I'le never speak again Madam,
But when you charge me, then I'le speak softly too.
Marg.
Get me a Priest, I'le wed him instantly,
But when you are married Sir, you must wait
Upon me, and see you observe my laws.
Leon.
Else you shall hang me.
Marg.
I'le give ye better clothes when you deserve 'em,
Come in, and serve for witness.
Omnes.
We shall Madam.
Marg.
And then away toth' city presently,
I'le to my new house and new company.
Leon.
A thousand crowns are thine, and I am a made man.
Altea.
Do not break out too soon.
Leon.
I know my time wench.
[Exeunt.
Enter Clara, and Estifania with a paper.
Clara.
What, have you caught him?
Estif.
Yes.
Clara.
And do you find him
A man of those hopes that you aim'd at?
Estif.
Yes too,
And the most kind man, and the ablest also
To give a wife content, he is sound as old wine,
And to his soundness rises on the pallat,
And there's the man; find him rich too Clara.
Clara.
Hast thou married him?
Estif.
What dost thou think I fish without a bait wench?
I bob for fools? he is mine own, I have him,
I told thee what would tickle him like a trout,
And as I cast it so I caught him daintily,
And all he has I have 'stow'd at my devotion.
Clara.
Does thy Lady know this? she is coming now to town,
Now to live here in this house.
284
Let her come,
She shall be welcom, I am prepar'd for her,
She is mad sure if she be angry at my fortune,
For what I have made bold.
Clara.
Dost thou not love him?
Estif.
Yes, intirely well,
As long as there he staies and looks no farther
Into my ends, but when he doubts, I hate him,
And that wise hate will teach me how to cozen him:
How to decline their wives, and curb their manners,
To put a stern and strong reyn to their natures,
And holds he is an Asse not worth acquaintance,
That cannot mould a Devil to obedience,
I owe him a good turn for these opinions,
And as I find his temper I may pay him,
Enter Perez.
O here he is, now you shall see a kind man.
Perez.
My Estifania, shall we to dinner lamb?
I know thou stay'st for me.
Estif.
I cannot eat else.
Perez.
I never enter but me thinks a Paradise
Appears about me.
Estif.
You are welcom to it Sir.
Perez.
I think I have the sweetest seat in Spain wench,
Me thinks the richest too, we'l eat i'th' garden
In one o'th' arbours, there 'tis cool and pleasant,
And have our wine cold in the running fountain.
Who's that?
Estif.
A friend of mine Sir.
Perez.
Of what breeding?
Estif.
A Gentlewoman Sir.
Perez.
What business has she?
Is she a learned woman i'th' Mathematicks,
Can she tell fortunes?
Estif.
More than I know Sir.
Perez.
Or has she e're a letter from a kinswoman,
That must be delivered in my absence wife,
Or comes she from the Doctor to salute ye,
And learn your health? she looks not like a confessor.
Estif.
What need all this, why are you troubled Sir?
What do you suspect, she cannot cuckold ye,
She is a woman Sir, a very woman.
Perez.
Your very woman may do very well Sir
Toward the matter, for though she cannot perform it
In her own person, she may do it by Proxie,
Your rarest jugglers work still by conspiracy.
Estif.
Cry ye mercy husband, you are jealous then,
And happily suspect me.
Perez.
No indeed wife.
Estif.
Me thinks you should not till you have more cause
And clearer too: I am sure you have heard say husband,
A woman forced will free her self through Iron,
A happy, calm, and good wife discontended
May be taught tricks.
Perez.
No, no, I do but jest with ye.
Estif.
To morrow friend I'le see you.
Clara.
I shall leave ye
Till then, and pray all may goe sweetly with ye.
[Exit.
Estif.
Why where's this girle, whose at the door?
[Knock
Perez.
Who knocks there?
Is't for the King ye come, you knock so boisterously?
Look to the door.
Enter Maid.
Maid.
My Lady, as I live Mistris, my Ladie's come,
She's at the door, I peept through, and I saw her,
And a stately company of Ladies with her.
Estif.
This was a week too soon, but I must meet with her,
And set a new wheel going, and a subtile one,
Must blind this mighty Mars, or I am ruin'd.
Perez.
What are they at door?
Estif.
Such my Michael
As you may bless the day they enter'd there,
Such for our good.
Perez.
'Tis well.
Estif.
Nay, 'twill be better
If you will let me but dispose the business,
And be a stranger to it, and not disturb me,
What have I now to do but to advance your fortune?
Perez.
Doe, I dare trust thee, I am asham'd I am angry,
I find thee a wise young wife.
Estif.
I'le wise your worship
Before I leave ye, pray ye walk by and say nothing,
Only salute them, and leave the rest to me Sir,
I was born to make ye a man.
Perez.
The Rogue speaks heartily,
Her good will colours in her cheeks, I am born to love her,
I must be gentler to these tender natures,
A Souldiers rude harsh words be fit not Ladies,
Nor must we talk to them as we talk to
Our Officers, I'le give her way, for 'tis for me she
Works now, I am husband, heir, and all she has.
Enter Margarita, Estifania, Leon, Altea, and Ladies.
Who are these, what flanting things, a woman
Of rare presence! excellent fair, this is too big
For a bawdy house, too open seated too.
Estif.
My Husband ,Lady.
Marg.
You have gain'd a proper man.
Perez.
What e're I am, I am your servant Lady.
[kisses.
Estif.
Sir, be rul'd now,
And I shall make ye rich, this is my cousin,
That Gentleman dotes on her, even to death, see how he observes her.
Perez.
She is a goodly woman.
Estif.
She is a mirrour,
But she is poor, she were for a Princes side else,
This house she has brought him too as to her own,
And presuming upon me, and upon my courtesie.
Conceive me short, he knows not but she is wealthy,
Or if he did know otherwise, 'twere all one,
He is so far gone.
Perez.
Forward, she has a rare face.
Estif.
This we must carry with discretion Husband,
And yield unto her for four daies.
Perez.
Yield our house up, our goods and wealth?
Estif.
All this is but in seeming,
To milk the lover on, do you see this writing,
200l a year when they are married
Has she sealed to for our good; the time's unfit now,
I'le shew it you to morrow.
Perez.
All the house?
Estif.
All, all, and we'l remove too, to confirm him,
They'l into th'country suddenly again
After they are matcht, and then she'l open to him
Perez.
The whole possession wife? look what you doe,
A part o'th' house.
Estif.
No, no, they shall have all,
And take their pleasure too, 'tis for our 'vantage
Why, what's four daies? had you a Sister Sir,
A Niece or Mistris that required this courtesie,
And should I make a scruple to do you good?
Perez.
If easily it would come back.
Estif.
I swear Sir,
As easily as it came on, is't not pity
To let such a Gentlewoman for a little help—
You give away no house.
Perez.
Clear but that question.
Estif.
I'le put the writings into your hand.
Perez.
Well then.
Estif.
And you shall keep them safe.
Perez.
I am satisfied; wou'd I had the wench so too.
Estif.
When she has married him,
So infinite his love is linkt unto her,
You, I, or any one that helps at this pinch
May have Heaven knows what.
Perez.
I'le remove the goods straight,
And take some poor house by, 'tis but for four days.
285
I have a poor old friend; there we'l be.
Perez.
'Tis well then.
Estif.
Goe handsom off, and leave the house clear.
Perez.
Well.
Estif.
That little stuff we'l use shall follow after;
And a boy to guide ye, peace and we are made both.
Marg.
Come, let's goe in, are all the rooms kept sweet wench?
Estif.
They are sweet and neat.
[Exit Perez.
Marg.
Why where's your Husband?
Estif.
Gone Madam.
When you come to your own he must give place Lady.
Marg.
Well, send you joy, you would not let me know't,
Yet I shall not forget ye.
Estif.
Thank your Ladyship.
[Exeunt.
| Rule a Wife, and have a Wife | |