University of Virginia Library

Act. 2.

Scæn. 1.

Enter Jolante, Calypso.
Jol.
And are these French-men, as you say, such Gallants?

Calyp.
Gallant and active; their free breeding knows not
The Spanish and Italian preciseness
Practis'd among us. What we call immodest,
With them is stil'd bold Courtship: they dare fight
Under a Velvet-Ensign at fourteen.

Jol.
A Petticoat you mean.

Calyp.
You are i'the right;
Let a Mistress wear it under an armor of proof,
They are not to be beaten off.

Jol.
You are merry Neighbor.

Calyp.
I fool to make you so, pray you observe 'em.
They are the forwardest Monsieurs; born Physitians
For the malady of yong Wenches, and ne'er miss,
I ow my life to one of 'em, when I was
A raw yong thing, not worth the ground I trod on;
And long'd to dip my Bread in Tar, my Lips
As blue as Salt-water, he came up roundly to me,
And cur'd me in an instant, Venus be prais'd for't.

Enter Alphonso, General, Monteclaro, Attendants, and Captain.
Jol.
They come, leave prating.

Col.
I am dumb, an't like your honor.

Alph.
We will not break the league confirm'd between us,
And your great Master; the passage of his Army
Through all our Territories, lies open to him;
Onely we grieve that your design for Rome
Commands such haste, as it denies us means
To entertain you, as your worth deserves,
And we would gladly tender.

Gen.
Royal Alphonso, the King my Master, your confederate,
Will pay the debt he ows, in Fact, which I
Want words t'express; I must remove to night,
And yet, that your intended favors may not
Be lost, I leave this Gentleman behinde me,
To whom you may vouchsafe 'em; I dare say
Without Repentance, I forbear to give
Your Majesty his character; in France
He was a President for Arts and Arms
Alphonso receives Monteclaro
Without a rival, & may prove in Naples
Worthy thy imitation.

Calyp.
Is he not Madam
A Monsieur in print? What a garb was there? O rare!
Then how he wears his clothes, and the fashion of 'em.
A main assurance that he is within
All excellent: By this, wise Ladies ever
Make their conjectures.

Jol.
Peace, I have observ'd him
From head to foot.

Calyp.
Eye him agen, all over.

Monte.
It cannot royal Sir, but argue me
Of much presumption, if not impudence,
To be a suitor to your Majesty,
Before I have deserv'd a gratious grant,
By some employment prosperously atchiev'd.
But pardon gracious Sir: when I left France
I made a vow to a bosom Friend of mine
(Which my Lord General, if he please, can witness)
With such humility, as well becomes
A poor Petitioner to desire a Boon
He delivers a Petition.
From your magnificence.

Calyp.
With what punctual form he does deliver it.

Jol.
I have eyes; no more.

Alph.
For Severino's pardon, you must excuse me,
I dare not pardon murther.

Monte.
His fact Sir, ever submitting to your abler judgment,
Merits a fairer name: He was provok'd,
As by unanswerable proofs it is confirm'd,
By Monteclaro's rashness; who repining
That Severino, without his consent,
Had married Jolante his sole sister
(It being concleal'd almost for thirteen years)
Though the Gentleman, at all parts, was his equal,
First challeng'd him, and that declin'd, he gave him
A blow in publick.

Gen.
Not to be endur'd, but by a slave.

Monte.
This, great Sir, justly weigh'd,
You may a little, if you please, take from
The rigor of your Justice, and express
An act of mercy.

Jol.
I can hear no more,
This opens an old wound, and makes a new one.
Would it were cicatriz'd, waite me.

Calyp.
As your shadow.

Exeunt Jol. Calyp.
Alph.
We grant you these are glorious pretences,
Revenge appearing in the shape of valor,
Which wise Kings must distinguish. The defence
Of Reputation, now made a Bawd
To murther; every trifle falsly stil'd
An injury, and not to be determin'd
But by a bloody Duel; though this vice
Hath taken root and growth beyond the Mountains
(As France, and in strange fashions her Ape
England can deerly witness, with the loss
Of more brave spirits, then would have stood the shock
Of the Turks army) while Alphonso lives
It shall not here be planted: Move me no further
In this. In what else suiting you to ask,
And me to give, expect a gratious answer,
How ever welcome to our Court, Lord General,
I'll bring you out of the Ports, and then betake you
To your good fortune.

Gen.
Your Grace overwhelms me.

Exeunt.
Enter Calypso, and Jolante (with a Purse and a Jewel)
Calyp.
You are bound to favor him: Mark you how he pleaded
For my Lords pardon.

Jol.
That's indeed a tye; but I have a stronger on me.

Calyp.
Say you love
His person, be not asham'd of't, he's a man;
For whose embraces though Endimion
Lay sleeping by, Cinthia would leave her orb,
And exchange kisses with him.

Jol.
Do not Fan
A fire that burns already to hot in me,
I am in my honor sick, sick to the death,
Never to be recovered.

Calyp.
What a coyl's here
For loving a man? It is no Africk wonder,
If like Pasiphae you doted on a Bull,
Indeed 'twere monstrous: but in this you have
A thousand thousand presidents to excuse you.
A Sea-mans wife may ask relief of her Neighbor
When her husbands bound to the Indies, and not blam'd for't;
And many more besides of higher calling,
Though I forbear to name 'em: You have a husband,
But as the case stands with my Lord, he is
A kinde of no husband; and your Ladiship
As free as a widow can be. I confess
If Ladies should seek change, that have their husbands
At Boord and Bed, to pay their marriage duties,
The surest bond of concord, 'twere a fault,
Indeed it were: But for your honor that
Do lie alone so often, Body of me,
I am zealous in your cause; let me take breath.

Jol.
I apprehend what thou wouldst say: I want all
As means to quench the spurious fire that burns here.

Calyp.
Want means while I your Creature live? I dare not
Be so unthankful.

Jol.
Wilt thou undertake it,
And as an earnest of much more to come
Receive this Jewel, and Purse cramn'd full of Crowns,
How dearly I am forc'd to buy dishonor.

Calyp.
I would do it gratis, but 'twould ill become
My breeding to refuse your honors bounty,
Nay, say no more, all Rhetorick in this
Is comprehended; let me alone to work him,
He shall be yours; that's poor, he is already
At your devotion I will not boast
My faculties this way, but suppose he were
Coy as Adonis, or Hippolitus,
And your desires more hot then Citherea's,
Or wanton Phedras, I will bring him chain'd
To your embraces, glorying in his Fetters. I have said it.

Jol.
Go and prosper, and imagine a salary beyond thy hopes.

Calyp.
Sleep you
Secure on either ear, the burthens yours
To entertain him, mine to bring him hither.

Exeunt.
Enter Adorio, Camillo, Lentulo, Donato.
Don.
Your wrong's beyond a challenge, and you deal
To fairly with him, if you take that way
To right your self.

Lent.
The least that you can do
I'th' terms of honor is, when next you meet him
To give him the bastinado.

Cam.
And that done,
Draw out his Sword to cut your own throat. No,
Be rul'd by me, shew your self an Italian,
And having received one injury, do not put off
Your Hat for a second; there are fellows that
For a few crowns will make him sure, and so
With your revenge, you prevent future misthief.

Ador.
I thank you Gentlemen for your studied care
In what concerns my honor; but in that
I'll steer mine own course, yet that you may know
You are still my Cabinet Counsellers, my bosom
Lies open to you. I begin to feel
A weariness, nay, satiety of looseness,
And something tells me here, I should repent
My harshness to Caliste.

Enter Cario (in haste.)
Cam.
When you please, you may remove that scruple.

Ador.
I shall think on't.

Car.
Sir, Sir, are you ready?

Ador.
To do what? I am sure 'tis not yet dinner time.

Car.
True; but I usher
Such an unexpected dainty bit for breakfast,
As yet I never cook'd? 'tis not Potargo,
Fride Frogs, Potato's Marrow'd, Cavear,
Carps Tongues, the Pith of an English Chine of Beef,
Nor our Italian delicate Oyl'd Mushrooms,
And yet a drawer on too; and if you shew not
An appetite, and a strong one; I'll not say
To eat it, but devour it, without grace too,
For it will not stay a Preface. I am sham'd,
And all my past provocatives will be jeer'd at.

Ador.
Art thou in thy wits? what new found rarity
Hast thou discover'd?

Car.
No such matter Sir; it grows in our own Country.

Don.
Serve it up,
I feel a kinde of stomach.

Cam.
I could feed too.

Car.
Not a bit upon a march; there's other Lettice
For your course Lips; this is peculiar onely
For my Masters palate, I would give my whole years wages
With all my vails, and fees due to the Kitchin,
But to be his Carver.

Ador.
Leave your fooling Sirrah, and bring in your dainty.

Car.
'Twill bring in it self,
It has life and spirit in it, and for proof,
Behold: Now fall to boldly, my life on't
It comes to be tasted.

Enter Mirtilla (with Letter and Jewel.)
Cam.
Ha! Calistes Woman.

Lent.
A handsom one by Venus.

Ador.
Pray you forbear,
You are welcome fair one.

Don.
How that blush becomes her.

Ador.
Aim your designs at me?

Mirt.
I 'em trusted Sir
With a business of near consequence, which I would
To your private ear deliver:

Car.
I told you so.
Give her audience on your Couch, it is fit state
To a she Ambassador.

Ador.
Pray you Gentlemen
For a while dispose of your selves, I'll strait attend you.

Exit.
Car.
Dispatch her first for your honor, the quickly doing,
You know what follows.

Ador.
Will you please to vanish—
Exit Cario.
Now pretty one, your pleasure; you shall finde me
Ready to serve you, if you'll put me to
My Oath, I'll take it on this Book.

Mirt.
O Sir, the favor is too great, and far above
My poor ambition, I must kiss your hand
In sign of humble thankfulness.

Ador.
So modest.

Mirt.
It well becomes a Maid, Sir, spare those blessings
For my noble Mistress, upon whom with Justice,
And with your good allowance, I might adde
With a due gratitude; you may confer 'em,
But this will better speak her chast desires
Delivers the Letter.
Then I can fancy what they are, much less
With moving language to their fair deserts
Aptly express 'em. Pray you read, but with
Compassion, I beseech you: if you finde
The Paper blur'd with tears faln from her eyes,
While she endeavor'd to set down that truth
Her Soul did dictate to her, it must challenge
A gratious answer.

Ador.
O the powerful charms!
By that fair hand writ down here; not like those
Which dreadfully pronounc'd by Circe, chang'd
Ulysses followers into Beasts; these have
An opposite working, I already feel
But reading 'em, their saving operations,
And all those sensual, loose, and base desires
Which have too long usurped, and tyranniz'd
Over my Reason, of themselves fall of
Most happy Metamorphosis! in which
The film of Error that did blinde my Judgment
And seduc'd Understanding, is remov'd.
What Sacrifice of Thanks can I return
Her pious Charity, that not alone
Redeems me from the worst of slavery,
The tyranny of my beastly appetites;
To which, I long obsequiously have bow'd,
But addes a matchless favor to receive
A benefit from me, nay, puts her Goodness
In my protection.

Mirt.
Transform'd? it is
Aside.
A blessed Metamorphosis, and works
I know not how on me.

Ador.
My joys are boundless,
Curb'd with no limits; for her sake, Mirtilla,
Instruct me how I presently may seal
To those strong bonds of loyal love, and service
Which never shall be cancell'd.

Mirt.
She'll become your debter Sir, if you vouchsafe to answer
Her pure affection.

Ador.
Answer it Mirtilla; with more then adoration I kneel to it.
Tell her I'll rather die a thousand deaths,
Then fail with punctuality to perform
All her commands.

Mirt.
I am lost on this assurance,
(Which if 'twere made to me, I should have faith in't,
Aside.
As in an Oracle. Ah me) she presents you
This Jewel, her dead Grandsirs gift, in which,
As by a true Egyptian Herogliphick,
(For so I think she call'd it) you may be
Instructed what her suit is, you should do,
And she with joy will suffer.

Ador.
Heaven be pleas'd to qualifie this excess of happiness
With some disaster, or I shall expire
With a surfeit of Felicity, with what art
The cunning Lapidary hath here express'd
The rape of Proserpine, I apprehend
Her purpose, and obey it, yet not as
A helping Friend, but a Husband, I will meet
Her chast desires with lawful heat, and warm
Our Hymenæal sheets with such delights
As leave no sting behinde 'em.

Mirt.
I despair then.

Aside.
Ador.
At the time appointed, say wench, I'll attend her,
And guard her from the fury of her Mother,
And all that dare disturb her.

Mirt.
You speak well, and I believe you.

Ador.
Would you ought else.

Mirt.
I would carry some love sign to her; and now I think on't,
The kinde salute you offer'd at my entrance,
Hold it not impudence that I desire it,
I'll faithfully deliver it.

Ador.
O a kiss, you must excuse me, I was then mine own,
Now wholly hers. The touch of other Lips
I do abjure for ever; but there's Gold
To binde thee still my advocate.

Exit.
Mirt.
Not a kiss? I was coy when it was offered, and now justly
When I beg one am deni'd, what scortching fires
My loose hopes kindle in me? Shall I be
False to my Ladies trust? and from a servant
Rise up her rival? His words have bewitch'd me,
And something I must do, but what? 'tis yet
An embrion, and how to give it form
Alas I know not, pardon me, Caliste,
I am nearest to my self, and time will teach me
To perfect that which yet is undetermined.

Exit.
Enter Claudio and Severino.
Claud.
You are Master of your self, yet if I may
As a tri'd Friend in my love and affection,
And a servant in my duty speak my thoughts,
Without offence? i'th' way of counsel to you,
I could alleage, and truly that your purpose
For Naples cover'd with a thin disguise
Is full of danger.

Sever.
Danger Claudio?
'Tis here, and every where our forc'd companion,
The rising and the setting Sun, beholds us
Inviron'd with it; our whole life a journey
Ending in certain ruine.

Claud.
Yet we should not, howev'r besieg'd, deliver up our Fort
Of life, till it be forc'd.

Sever.
'Tis so indeed by wisest men concluded, which we should
Obey as Christians; but when I consider
How different the progress of our actions
Are from Religion, nay, Morality,
I cannot finde in Reason, why we should
Be scrupulous that way onely, or like Meteors
Blaze forth prodigious terrors, till our stuff
Be utterly consum'd, which once put out,
Would bring security unto our selves,
And safety unto those we prey upon.
O Claudio! since by this fatal hand
The brother of my wife, bold Monteclaro,
Was left dead in the field, and I proscrib'd
After my flight, by the justice of the King,
My being hath been but a living death
With a continued torture.

Claud.
Yet in that you do delude their bloody violence
That do pursue your life.

Sever.
While I by rapines live terrible to others as my self,
What one hour can we challenge as our own
(Unhappy as we are) yielding a beam
Of comfort to us? Quiet night that brings
Rest to the labourer, is the Outlaws day,
In which he rises early to do wrong,
And when his work is ended, dares not sleep:
Our time is spent in watches to intrap
Such as would shun us, and to hide our selves
From the Ministers of Justice, that would brihg us
To the correction of the Law. O Claudio,
Is this a life to be preserv'd? and at
So dear a rate? But why hold I discourse
On this sad subject? since it is a burthen
We are mark'd to bear, and not to be shook off
But with our humane frailty. In the change
Of dangers there is some delight, and therefore
I am resolv'd for Naples.

Claud.
May you meet there
All comforts that so fair and chaste a wife
(As fame proclaims her without parallel)
Can yield to ease your sorrows.

Sever.
I much thank you;
Yet you may spare those wishes, which with joy
I have prov'd certainties, and from their want
Her excellencies take lustre.

Claud.
Ere you go yet,
Some charge unto your Squires not to flie out
Beyond their bounds, were not impertinent:
For though that with a look you can command 'em,
In your absence they'll be headstrong

Sever.
'Tis well thought on,
I'll touch my horn, they know my call,

Blows his horn.
Claud.
And will, as soon as heard, make in to't from all quarters,
As the flock to the shepherds whistle.

Enter six Banditi.
1:
What's your will?

2.
Hail Soveraign of these Woods.

3.
We lay our lives at your Highness feet.

4.
And will confess no King,
Nor Laws, but what come from your mouth; and those
We gladly will subscribe to:

Sever.
Make this good
In my absence to my substitute, to whom
Pay all obedience as to my self:
The breach of this in one particular
I will severely punish; on your lives
Remember upon whom with our allowance
You may securely prey, with such as are
Exempted from your fury.

Claud.
'Twere not amiss,
If you please, to help their memory; besides,
Here are some newly initiated.

Sever.
To these read you the Articles: I must be gone;
Claudio, farewell.

Claud.
May your return be speedy.

Ex. Sever.
1.
Silence; out with your Table-books.

2.
And observe.

Claud.
The Cormorant that lives in expectation
Of a long wish'd for dearth, and smiling grindes
The faces of the poor, you may make spoil of;
Even theft to such is Justice.

3.
He's in my Tables.

Claud.
The grand Incloser of the Commons, for
His private profit, or delight, withal
His Herds that graze upon't are lawful prize,

4.
And we will bring 'em in, although the devil
Stood roaring by, to guard 'em.

Claud.
If a Usurer,
Greedy at his own price, to make a purchase,
Taking advantage upon Bond, or Morgage,
From a Prodigal, pass through our Territories,
I'the way of custom, or of tribute to us,
You may ease him of his burthen.

2.
Wholsome doctrine.

Claud.
Builders of iron Mills, that grub up Forests,
With Timber Trees for shipping.

1.
May we not have a touch at Lawyers.

Claud.
By no means; they may
To soon have a gripe at us; they are angry Hornets,
Not to be jested with.

3.
This is not so well.

Claud.
The owners of dark shops that vent their wares
With Perjuries; cheating Vintners not contented
With half in half in their reckonings, yet cry out
When they finde their ghests want coyn, 'tis late, and Bed-time;
These ransack at your pleasures.

3.
How shall we know 'em.

Claud.
If they walk on foot by their Rat-colour'd stockings,
And shining shooes. If Horsmen by short Boots,
And riding furniture of several Counties.

2.
Not one of the List escapes us.

Claud.
But for Schollars,
Whose wealth lies in their heads, & not their pockets,
Soldiers that have bled in their Countries service,
The Rent-rack'd Farmer, needy Market folks,
The sweaty Laborer; Carriers that transport
The goods of other men, are priviledg'd;
But above all, let none presume to offer
Violence to women, for our King hath sworn,
Who that way's a Delinquent; without mercy
Hangs for't by Marshal law.

Omnes.
Long live Severino.
And perish all such cullions as repine at his new Monarchy.

Claud.
About your business,
That he may finde at his return good cause
To praise your care and discipline.

Omnes.
We'll not fail Sir.

Exeunt.
Enter Monteclaro and Calypso.
Mont.
Thou art sure mistaken, 'tis not possible
That I can be the man thou art employ'd too.

Calyp.
Not you the man? you are the man of men,
And such another in my Ladies eye,
Never to be discover'd.

Mont.
A meer stranger newly arriv'd?

Calyp.
Still the more probable,
Since Ladies, as you know, affect strange dainties,
And brought far to 'em. This is not an age
In which Saints live; but women, knowing women,
That understand their summum bonum, is
Variety of pleasures in the touch,
Deriv'd from several Nations; and if men
Would be wise by their example.

Mont.
As most are. 'Tis a coupling age!

Calyp.
Why sir, do Gallants travel?
Answer that question; but at their return
With wonder to the hearers, to discourse of
The garb and difference in foreign Females.
As the lusty Girle of France, the sober German,
The plump Dutch Fro, the stately Dame of Spain,
The Roman Libertine, and spriteful Tuscan,
The merry Greek, Venetian Courtesan,
The English fair Companion, that learns something
From every Nation, and will flie at all.
I say again the difference betwixt these
And their own Country Gamesters.

Mont.
Aptly urg'd.
Some make that their main end; but may I ask
Without offence to your gravity, By what title
Your Lady that invites me to her favors,
Is known in the City.

Calyp.
If you were a true born Monsieur,
You would do the business first, and ask that after.
If you onely truck with her title, I shall hardly
Deserve thanks for my travel; she is Sir
No single Duccat trader, nor a Beldam
So frozen up, that a Fever cannot thaw her.
No Lioness by her breath.

Mont.
Leave these impertinencies, and come to the matter.

Calyp.
Would you woo'd be as forward
When you draw for the upshot, she is Sir a Lady,
A rich, fair, well-complexioned, and what is
Not frequent among Venus Votaries,
Upon my credit, which good men have trusted;
A sound and wholedom Lady, and her name is
Madona Jolante.

Mont.
Jolante. I have heard of her, for chastity, and beauty;
The wonder of the age.

Calyp.
Pray you not too much,
Of chastity, fair, and free I do subscribe too,
And so you'll finde her.

Mont.
Come y'are a base Creature,
And covering your foul ends with her fair name,
Give me just reason, to suspect you have
A plot upon my life.

Calyp.
A plot! Very fine!
Nay, 'tis a dangerous one, pray you beware of't,
'Tis cunningly contriv'd, I plot to bring you
A foot with the travel of some forty paces,
To those delights, which a man not made of Snow,
Would ride a thousand miles for. You shall be
Receiv'd at a Postern door, if you be not cautious,
By one whose touch would make old Nestor yong,
And cure his Hernia? A terrible plot!
A kiss then ravished from you by such Lips
As flow with Nectar, a Juicy-palm more pretious
Then the fam'd Sibilla's Bough to guide you safe
Through Mists of perfumes to a glorious room,
Where Jove might feast his Juno, a dire plot,
A Banquet I'll not mention, that is common;
But I must not forget to make the plot
More horrid to you. The retiring bower
So furnish'd, as might force the Persians envy,
The Silver bathing Tub, the Cambrick rubbers,
Th'embroider'd Quilt, a Bed of Gossamire,
And Damask Roses, a meer Powder plot
To blow you up; and last, a Bed-fellow,
To whose rare entertainment all these are
But foils, and settings off.

Mont.
No more, her breath would warm an Euenuch.

Calyp.
I knew I should heat you; now he begins to glow.

Mont.
I am flesh and blood,
And I were not man, if I should not run the hazard,
Had I no other ends in't, I have consider'd
Your motion, Matron.

Calyp.
My Plot Sir on your life,
For which, I am deservedly suspected
For a base and dangerous woman. Fare you well Sir,
I'll be bold to take my leave.

Mont.
I will along too.
Come pardon my suspition, I confess
My Error; and eying you better, I perceive
There's nothing that is ill that can flow from you.
I am serious, and for proof of it I'll purchase
Your good opinion.

Calyp.
I am gently natur'd,
And can forget a greater wrong upon
Such terms of satisfaction.

Mont.
What's the hour.

Calyp.
Twelve.

Mont.
I'll not miss a minute.

Calyp.
I shall finde you at your lodging?

Mont.
Certainly, return my service,
And for me kiss your Ladies hands.

Calyp.
At twelve, I'll be your convoy.

Mont.
I desire no better.

Exeunt.