 | The Changeling |  |
Actus Primus.
Enter Alsemero.[Als.]
Twas in the Temple where I first beheld her,
And now agen the same, what Omen yet
Follows of that? None but imaginary,
Why should my hopes or fate be timerous?
The place is holy, so is my intent:
I love her beauties to the holy purpose,
And that (me thinks) admits comparison
With mans first creation, the place blest
And is his right home back (if he atchieve it.)
The Church hath first begun our interview
And that's the place must joyn us into one,
So there's beginning and perfection too.
Enter Jasperino.
Jasp.
O Sir, are you here? Come, the wind's fair with you,
Y'are like to have a swift and pleasant passage.
Als.
Sure y'are deceived friend, 'tis contrary
In my best judgement.
Jas.
What for Malta?
If you could buy a gale amongst the Witches,
They could not serve you such a lucky penyworth
Als.
Even now I observ'd
The temples Vane to turn full in my face,
I know 'tis against me.
Jas.
Against you?
Then you know not where you are.
Als.
Not well indeed
Jas.
Are you not well sir?
Als.
Yes, Jasperino.
Unless there be some hidden malady
Within me, that I understand not.
Jas.
And that
I begin to doubt sir, I never knew
Your inclinations to travels at a pause
With any cause to hinder it till now.
Ashore you were wont to call your servants up,
And help to trap your Horses for the speed.
At sea I have seen you weigh the anchor with 'em,
Hoyst sails for fear to lose the formost breath,
Be in continuall prayers for fair winds,
And have you chang'd your orizons?
Als.
No, friend,
I keep the same church, same devotion.
Jas.
Lover I'm sure y'are none, the Stoick
Was found in you long agoe, your mother
Nor best friends, who have set snares of beauty,
I and choyce ones too, could never trap you that way
What might be the cause?
Als.
Lord, how violent,
Thou art: I was but meditating of
Somewhat I heard within the temple.
Jas.
Is this violence? 'tis but idleness
Compar'd with your hast yesterday.
Als.
I'm all this while a going, man.
Enter Servants.
Jas.
Backwards, I think, sir. Look your servants.
1 Serv.
The sea-men call, shall we Boord your trunks?
Als.
No, not to day.
Jas.
Tis the criticall day,
It seems, and the signe in Aquarius.
2 Ser.
We must not to sea to day, this smoke will bring forth fire.
Keep all on shore, I doe not know the end
(Which needs I must do) of an affair in hand
Ere I can go to sea.
1 Serv.
Well, your pleasure.
2 Ser.
Let him e'n take his leasure too, we are safer on land.
Exeunt Serv.
Enter Beatrice, Diaphanta, and Servants, Joannna.
Jasp.
How now! The Laws of the Medes are chang'd sure, salute
a woman, he kisses too: wonderfull! where learnt he this? & does it
perfectly too; in my conscience he nere rehearst it before. Nay, goe
on, this will be stranger and better news at Valentia, then if he had
ransom'd half Greece from the Turk
Bea.
You are a Scholar, sir.
Als.
A weak one, Lady.
Bea.
Which of the Sciences is this love you speak of?
Als.
From your tongue I take it to be musick.
Bea.
You are skilfull in't, can sing at first sight.
Als.
And I have shew'd you all my skil at once.
I want more words to express me further.
And must be forc'd to repetition:
I love you dearly.
Bea.
Be better advis'd, sir:
Our eyes are Centinels unto our judgements,
And should give certain judgement what they see;
But they are rash sometimes, and tell us wonders
Of common things, which when our judgements find,
They can then check the eyes, and cal them blind.
Als.
But I am further, Lady; yesterday
Was mine eyes imployment, and hither now
They brought my judgement, where are both agreed.
Both Houses then consenting, 'tis agreed,
Onely there wants the confirmation
By the hand Royall, that's your part, Lady.
Bea.
Oh there's one above me, sir, for five dayes past
To be recal'd; sure, mine eyes were mistaken,
This was the man was meant me, that he should come
So neer his time, and miss it.
Jas.
We might have come by the Carriers from Valentia, I see and
sav'd all our sea-provision: we are at farthest sure, methinks I should
doe something too, I meant to be a venturer in this voyage. Yonder's
another Vessell, I'le board her, if she be lawfull prize, down goes her
top-sail.
Def.
Lady, your father.
Bea.
Is in health, I hope.
Def.
Your eye shall instantly instruct you, Lady.
He's coming hitherward.
Bea.
What needed then
Your dutious preface? I had rather
He had come unexpected, you must stall
A good presence with unnecessary blabbing:
And how welcome for your part you are,
I'm sure you know.
Def.
Wilt never mend this scorn
One side nor other? Must I be enjoyn'd
To follow still whilst she flies from me? Well,
Fates do your worst, I'le please my self with sight
Of her, at all opportunities,
If but to spite her anger, I know she had
Rather see me dead then living, and yet
She knows no cause for't, but a peevish will.
Als.
You seem'd displeas'd Lady on the sudden.
Bea.
Your pardon Sir, 'tis my infirmity,
Nor can I other reason render you,
Then his or hers, or some particular thing
They must abandon as a deadly poyson,
Which to a thousand other tasts were wholsome,
Such to mine eyes is that same fellow there,
The same that report speaks of the Basilisk.
Als.
This is a frequent frailty in our nature,
There's scarce a man amongst a thousand sound,
But hath his imperfection: one distastes
The sent of Roses, which to infinites
Most pleasing is, and odoriferous.
One oyle, the enemy of poyson,
Another Wine, the cheerer of the heart,
And lively refresher of the countenance.
Indeed this fault (if so it be) is generall,
There's scarce a thing but is both lov'd and loath'd,
Myself (I must confesse) have the same frailty.
Bea.
And what may be your poyson sir? I am bold with you.
Als.
And what might be your desire perhaps, a cherry.
I am no enemy to any creature
My memory has, but yon' Gentleman.
Als.
He does ill to tempt your sight, if he knew it.
Bea.
He cannot be ignorant of that Sir,
I have not spar'd to tell him so, and I want
To help my self, since he's a Gentleman
In good respect with my father, and follows him.
Als.
He's out of his place then now.
Jas.
I am a mad Wag, wench.
Dia.
So me thinks; but for your comfort I can tell you, we have
a Doctor in the Citie that undertakes the cure of such.
Jas.
Tush, I know what Physick is best for the state of mine own
body.
Dia.
'Tis scarce a well govern'd state, I beleeve.
Jas.
I could shew thee such a thing with an Ingredian that we
two would compound together, and if it did not tame the maddest
blood i'th town for two hours after, Ile nere profess Physick agen.
Dia.
A little poppy Sir, were good to cause you sleep.
Jas.
Poppy; I'le give thee a pop i'th lips for that first, and begin
there: Poppy is one simple indeed, and Cuckow (what you call't)
another: I'le discover no more now, another time I'le shew thee all.
Bea.
My Father, Sir.
Enter Vermandero and Servants.
Ver.
Oh Joanna, I came to meet thee, your devotion's ended.
Bea.
For this time, Sir,
I shall change my Saint, I fear me, I find
A giddy turning in me; Sir, this while
I am beholding to this Gentleman
Who left his own way to keep me company,
And in discourse I find him much desirous
To see your castle: He hath deserv'd it, Sir,
If ye please to grant it.
Ver.
With all my heart, Sir.
Yet ther's an article between, I must know
Your countrey; we use not to give survey
Of our chief strengths to strangers, our citadels
Are plac'd conspicuous to outward view,
On Promonts tops; but within are secrets.
Als.
A Valentian, Sir.
Ver.
A Valentian,
That's native, Sir; of what name, I beseech you?
Alsemero, Sir.
Ver.
Alsemero; not the son of John de Alsemero?
Als.
The same Sir.
Ver.
My best love bids you welcome.
Bea.
He was wont to call me so, and then he speaks
A most unfeigned truth.
Ver.
Oh Sir, I knew your father,
We two were in acquaintance long agoe
Before our chins were worth Julan Down,
And so continued till the stamp of time
Had coin'd us into silver: Well, he's gone,
A good Souldier went with him.
Als.
You went together in that, Sir.
Ver.
No by Saint Jaques, I came behind him.
Yet I have done somewhat too, an unhappy day
Swallowed him at last at Gibralter
In fight with those rebellious Hollanders,
Was it not so?
Als.
Whose death I had reveng'd,
Or followed him in Fate, had not the late League
Prevented me.
Ver.
I, I, 'twas time to breath:
Oh Joanna, I should ha told thee news,
I saw Piracquo lately.
Bea.
That's ill news.
Ver.
He's hot preparing for this day of triumph,
Thou must be a Bride within this sevenight.
Als.
Ha!
Bea.
Nay good Sir, be not so violent, with speed
I cannot render satisfaction
Unto the dear companion of my soule,
Virginity (whom I thus long have liv'd with)
And part with it so rude and suddenly,
Can such friends divide never to meet agen,
Without a solemne farewell?
Ver.
Tush, tush, there's a toy.
Als.
I must now part, and never meet agen
With any joy on earth; Sir, your pardon,
My affairs call on me.
Ver.
How Sir? by no means,
And her best entertainment ere we part,
I shall think my self unkindly us'd else.
Come, come, let's on, I had good hope your stay
Had been a while with us in Alligant;
I might have bid you to my daughters wedding.
Als.
He means to feast me, & poysons me before hand,
I should be dearly glad to be there, sir,
Did my occasions suit as I could wish.
Bea.
I shall be sorry if you be not there
When it is done sir, but not so suddenly.
Ver.
I tell you, sir, the Gentleman's compleat,
A Courtier and a Gallant, enricht
With many fair and noble ornaments,
I would not change him for a son-in-law,
For any he in Spain, the proudest he,
And we have great ones, that you know.
Als.
He's much bound to you, sir.
Ver.
He shall be bound to me,
As fast as this tie can hold him, Il'e want my will else.
Bea.
I shal want mine if you do it.
Ver.
But come, by the way, I'le tell you more of him:
Als.
How shall I dare to venture in his castle,
When he discharges murderers at the gate?
But I must on, for back I cannot goe.
Bea.
Not this Serpent gone yet?
Ver.
Look Girle, thy glove's faln,
Stay, stay, Deflores help a little.
Def.
Here, Lady.
Bea.
Mischief on your officious forwardness,
Who bade you stoop? they touch my hand no more:
There, for t'others sake I part with this,
Take 'um and draw thine own skin offwith 'um.
Exeunt
Def.
Here's a favour come; with a mischief: Now
I know she had rather wear my pelt tan'd
In a pair of dancing pumps, then I should thrust my fingers:
Into her sockets here I know she hates me,
Yet cannot chuse but love her:
No matter, if but to vex her, I'le haunt her still,
Though I get nothing else, Il'e have my will.
Exit.
Alib.
Lollio, I must trust thee with a secret,
But thou must keep it.
Lol.
I was ever close to a secret, Sir.
Alib.
The diligence that I have found in thee,
The care and industry already past,
Assures me of thy good continuance.
Lollio, I have a wife.
Lol.
Fie sir, 'tis too late to keep her secret, she's known to be married
all the town and countrey over.
Alib.
Thou goest too fast my Lollio, that knowledge
I allow no man can be bar'd it;
But there is a knowledge which is neerer,
Deeper and sweeter, Lollio.
Lol.
Well sir, let us handle that between you and I.
Alib.
'Tis that I go about man; Lollio,
My wife is young,
Lol.
So much the worse to be kept secret, sir.
Alib.
Why now thou meet'st the substance of the point,
I am old, Lollio.
Lol.
No sir, 'tis I am old Lollio.
Alib.
Yet why may not this concord and sympathize?
Old trees and young plants often grow together,
Well enough agreeing.
Lol.
I sir, but the old trees raise themselves higher and broader
then the young plants.
Alib.
Shrewd application: there's the fear man,
I would wear my ring on my own finger;
Whilst it is borrowed it is none of mine,
But his that useth it.
Lol.
You must keep it on still then, if it but lye by,
One or other wil be thrusting into't.
Alib.
Thou conceiv'st me Lollio; here thy watchful eye
Must have imployment, I cannot alwayes be at home.
Lol.
I dare swear you cannot.
Alib.
I must look out.
Lol.
I know't, you must look out, 'tis every mans case.
Alib.
Here I doe say must thy imployment be.
To watch her treadings, and in my absence
Supply my place.
I'le do my best, Sir, yet surely I cannot see who you should
have cause to be jealous of.
Alib.
Thy reason for that Lollio, 'tis a comfortable question.
Lol.
We have but two sorts of people in the house, and both under
the whip, that's fools and mad-men; the one has not wit enough
to be knaves, and the other not knavery enough to be fools.
Alib.
I those are all my Patients, Lollio.
I do profess the cure of either sort:
My trade, my living 'tis, I thrive by it;
But here's the care that mixes with my thrift,
The daily Visitants, that come to see
My brainsick Patients, I would not have
To see my wife: Gallants I do observe
Of quick entising eyes, rich in habits,
Of stature and proportion very comely:
These are most shrewd temptations, Lollio.
Lol.
They may be easily answered, Sir, if they come to see the
Fools and Mad-men, you and I may serve the turn, and let my Mistress
alone, she's of neither sort.
Alib.
'Tis a good ward, indeed come they to see
Our Mad-men or our Fools, let 'um see no more
Then what they come for; by that consequent
They must not see her, I'm sure she's no fool.
Loll.
And I'm sure she's no mad-man.
Alib.
Hold that Buckler fast, Lollio my trust
Is on thee, and I account it firm and strong.
What hour is't Lollio?
Lol.
Towards belly hour Sir.
Alib.
Dinner time, thou mean'st twelve a clock.
Lol.
Yes Sir, for every part has his hour, we wake at six and look
about us, that's eye-hour; at seven we should pray, that's knee-hour;
at eight walk, that's leg hour; at nine gather flowers, and pluck a
Rose, that's nose-hour; at ten we drink, that's mouth hour; at eleven
lay about us for victuals, that's hand hour; at twelve go to dinner,
that's belly hour.
Alib.
Profoundly, Lollio it wil be long
Ere all thy Scholars learn this Lesson, and
I did look to have a new one entred—stay
I think my expectation is come home.
Ped.
Save you sir, my business speaks it self,
This sight takes off the labour of my tongue.
Alib.
I, I Sir, 'tis plain enough, you mean him for my patient.
Ped.
And if your pains prove but commodious,
To give but some little strength to his sick
And weak part of Nature in him, these are
But patterns to shew you of the whole pieces
That will follow to you, beside the charge
Of diet, washing, and other necessaries
Fully defrayed.
Alib.
Believe it, sir, there shall no care be wanting.
Lol.
Sir, an officer in this place may deserve somthing,
The trouble will pass through my hands.
Ped.
'Tis fit something should come to your hands then, sir.
Lol.
Yes, sir, 'tis I must keep him sweet, and read to him, what is
his name.
Ped.
His name is Antonio, marry we use but half
To him, onely Tonie.
Lol.
Tonie, Tonie, 'tis enough, and a very good name for a fool,
what's your name Tonie?
Ant.
He, he he, well I thank you cousin, he he, he.
Lol.
Good Boy hold up your head: he can laugh, I perceive by
that he is no beast.
Ped.
Well sir, if you can raise him but to any height,
Any degree of wit, might he attain
(As I might say) to creep but on all four,
Towards the chair of wit, or walk on crutches,
'Twould add an honour to your worthy pains,
And a great family might pray for you,
To which he should be heire, had he discretion
To claim and guide his own; assure you sir,
He is a Gentleman.
Lol.
Nay, there's no body doubted that, at first sight I knew him
for a Gentleman he looks no other yet.
Ped.
Let him have good attendance and sweet lodging.
Lol.
As good as my Mistress lies in sir, and as you allow us time
and means, we can raise him to the higher degree of discretion.
Ped.
Nay, there shall no cost want sir.
Lol.
He will hardly be stretcht up to the wit of a Magnifico.
Oh no, that's not to be expected, far shorter
Will be enough.
Lol.
Ile warrant you make him fit to bear office in five weeks,
I'le undertake to wind him up to the wit of Constable.
Ped.
If it be lower then that it might serve turn.
Lol.
No fie, to levell him with a Headborough, Beadle, or Watchman,
were but little better then he is; Constable I'le able him: if he
do come to be a Justice afterwards, let him thank the Keeper. Or I'le
go further with you, say I do bring him up to my own pitch, say I
make him as wise as my self.
Ped.
Why there I would have it.
Lol.
Well, go to, either I'le be as errant a fool as he, or he shall
be as wise as I, and then I think 'twill serve his turn.
Ped.
Nay, I doe like thy wit passing well.
Lol.
Yes, you may, yet if I had not been a fool, I had had more
wit then I have too remember what state you find me in.
Ped.
I wil, and so leave you: your best cares I beseech you.
Alib.
Take you none with you, leave 'um all with us.
Ant.
Oh my cousins gone, cousin, cousin, oh.
Lol.
Peace, Peace Tony, you must not cry child, you must be whipt
if you do, you cousin is here still, I am your cousin, Tony.
Ant.
He, he, then I'le not cry, if thou bee'st my cousin, he, he, he.
Lol.
I were best try his wit a little, that I may know what Form to
place him in.
Alib.
I, doe Lollio, doe.
Lol.
I must ask him easie questions at first; Tony, how many
true fingers has a Taylor on his right hand?
Ant.
As many as on his left, cousin.
Lol.
Good, and how many on both?
Ant.
Two less then a Dewce, cousin.
Lol.
Very well answered; I come to you agen, cousin Tony, How
many fools goes to a wise man?
Ant.
Fourty in a day sometimes, cousin.
Lol.
Fourty in a day? How prove you that?
Ant.
All that fall out amongst themselves, and go to a Lawyer to
be made friends.
Lol.
A parlous fool, he must sit in the fourth Form at least, I perceive
that: I come again Tony, How many knaves make an honest
man?
Ant.
I know not that cousin.
No, the question is too hard for you: I'le tell you cousin,
there's three knaves may make an honest man, a Sergeant, a Jaylor,
and a Beadle; the Sergeant catches him, the Jaylor holds him, and
the Beadle lashes him; and if he be not honest then, the Hangman
must cure him.
Ant.
Ha, ha, ha, that's fine sport cousin.
Alib.
This was too deep a question for the fool Lollio.
Lol.
Yes, this might have serv'd your self, tho I say't;
Once more, and you shall goe play Tonie.
Ant.
I, play at push-pin cousin, ha, he.
Lol.
So thou shalt, say how many fools are here.
Ant.
Two, cousin, thou and I.
Lol.
Nay, y'are too forward there, Tonie mark my question, how
many fools and knaves are here? a fool before a knave, a fool behind
a knave, between every two fools a knave, how many fools, how
many knaves?
Ant.
I never learnt so far cousin.
Alib.
Thou putst too hard questions to him, Lollio.
Lol.
I'le make him understand it easily; cousin stand there.
Ant.
I cousin.
Lol.
Master, stand you next the fool.
Alib.
Well, Lollio.
Lol.
Here's my place: mark now Tonie, there a fool before a knave.
Ant.
That's I cousin.
Lol.
Here's a fool behind a knave, that's I, and between us two fools
there is a knave, that's my Master, 'tis but we three, that's all.
Ant.
We three, we three, cousin.
Mad-men within.
1
Within.
Put's head i'th pillory, the breads too little.
2
Within.
Fly, fly, and he catches the swallow.
3
Within.
Give her more onion, or the Divell put the rope about
her cragg.
Lol.
You may hear what time of day it is, the Chimes of Bedlam
goes.
Alib.
Peace, peace, or the wyer comes.
3
within.
Cat whore, Cat whore, her permasant, her permasant.
Alib.
Peace, I say, their hour's come, they must be fed, Lollio.
Lol.
There's no hope of recovery of that Welsh mad-man,
Was undone by a Mouse, that spoild him a Permasant,
Lost his wits for't.
Alib.
Go to your charge, Lollio, I'le to mine.
Goe you to your mad-mens Ward, let me alone with your
fools.
Alib.
And remember my last charge, Lollio.
Exit.
Lol.
Of which your Patients do you think I am? Come Tonie you
must amongst your School-fellows now, there's pretty Scholars
amongst 'um, I can tell you there's some of 'em at stultus, stulta, stultum.
Ant.
I would see the mad-men, cousin, if they would not bite me.
Lol.
No, they shall not bite thee, Tonie.
Ant.
They bite when they are at dinner, do they not cuz.
Lol.
They bite at dinner indeed, Tonie; well, I hope to get credit
by thee, I like thee the best of all the Scholars that ever I brought
up, and thou shalt prove a wise man, or I'le prove a fool my selfe.
Exeunt.
| The Changeling | |