 | The Changeling |  |
ACTUS QUARTUS.
Enter Gentlemen, Vermandero meeting them with action of wonderment at the flight of Piracquo. Enter Alsemero, with Jasperino, and Gallants, Vermandero poynts to him, the Gentlemen seeming to applaud the choyce, Alsemero, Jasperino, and Gentlemen; Beatrice the Bride following in great state, accompanied with Diaphanta, Isabella, and other Gentlewomen: Deflores after all, smiling at the accident; Alonzo's Ghost appears to Deflores in the midst of his smile, startles him, shewing him the hand whose finger he had cut off. They passe over in great solemnity.Enter Beatrice:
Bea:
This fellow has undone me endlesly,
Never was Bride so fearfully distrest;
The more I think upon th'ensuing night,
And whom I am to cope with in embraces,
One both ennobled both in blood and mind,
So clear in understanding, that's my plague now,
Before whose judgement will my fault appear
Like malefactors crimes before Tribunals,
There is no hiding on't, the more I dive
Into my own distress; how a wise man
Stands for a great calamity, there's no venturing
Into his bed, what course soe're I light upon,
Without my shame, which may grow up to danger;
He cannot but in justice strangle me
As I lie by by him, as a cheater use me;
'Tis a pretious craft to play with a false Dye
Before a cunning Gamester; here's his closet,
The key left in't, and he abroad i'th Park,
Sure 'twas forgot, I'le be so bold as look in't.
Bless me! A right Physicians closet 'tis,
Set round with viols, every one her mark too.
Which may be safely calld your great mans Wisdom.
What manuscript lies here? The Book of Experiment,
Call'd Secrets in Nature: so 'tis, 'tis so,
How to know whether a woman be with child or no.
I hope I am not yet; if he should try tho
Let me see folio 45. Here 'tis;
the leaf tuckt dow upon't, the place suspitious.
If you would know whether a woman be with child, or not,
Give her two spoonfuls of the white water in Glass C.
Wher's that Glass C: O yonder I see't now, and if she be with child,
She sleeps full twelve hours after, if not, not
None of that water comes into my belly.
I'le know you from a hundred, I could break you now
Or turn you into milk, and so beguile
The master of the mystery, but I'le look to you.
Ha! that which is next, is ten times worse.
How to know whether a woman be a maid, or not;
If that should be apply'd, what would become of me?
Belike he has a strong faith of my purity,
That never yet made proof; but this he calls
A merry slight but true experiment, the Author Antonius Mizaldus.
Give the party you suspect the quantity of a spoonful of the water,
In the glass M. which upon her that is a maid, makes three severall
effects, 'twill make her incontinently gape, then fall into a sudden
sneezing, last into a violent laughing, else dull, heavy and lumpish.
Where had I been? I fear it, yet 'tis seven hours to bed time.
Enter Diaphanta
Dia.
Cuds Madam, are you here?
Bea.
Seeing that wench now
A trick comes in my mind, 'tis a nice piece,
Gold cannot purchase; I come hither wench,
To look my Lord.
Dia.
Would I had such a cause to look him too.
Why he's ith' Park Madam.
Bea.
There let him be.
Dia.
I madam, let him compass,
Whole Parks and Forrests, as great Rangers doe,
At roosting time a little lodge can hold'em.
Earth-conquering Alexander, that thought the world
Too narrow for him, in the end had but his pit-hole.
I fear thou art not modest, Diaphanta.
Dia.
Your thoughts are so unwilling to be known, Madam,
'Tis ever the Brides fashion towards bed-time,
To set light by her joyes, as if she ow'd 'em not.
Bea.
Her joys; her fears thou wouldst say.
Dia.
Fear of what?
Bea.
Art thou a maid, and talkst so to a maid?
You leave a blushing business behind,
Beshrew your heart for't.
Dia.
Do you mean good sooth, madam?
Bea.
Well, if I'de thought upon the fear at first,
Man should have been unknown.
Dia.
Is't possible?
Bea.
I will give a thousand Duckets to that woman
Would try what my fear were, and tell me true
To morrow, when she gets from't: as she likes
I might perhaps be drawn too't.
Dia.
Are you in earnest?
Bea.
Do you get the woman, then challenge me,
And see if I'le flie from't; but I must tell you
This by the way, she must be a true maid,
Else there's no tryall, my fears are not hers else.
Dia.
Nay, she that I would put into your hands, madam
shall be a maid.
Bea.
You know I should be sham'd else, because she lies for me.
Dia.
Tis a strange humour:
But are you serious still? Would you resigne
Your first nights pleasure, and give money too?
Bea.
As willingly as live; alas, the gold
Is but a by-bet to wedge in the honor.
Dia.
I doe not know how the world goes abroad
For faith or honesty, there's both requir'd in this.
Madam, what say you to me, and stray no further,
I've a good mind in troth to earn your money.
Bea.
Y'are too quick, I fear, to be a maid.
Dia.
How? not a maid? nay then you urge me madam,
Your honorable self is not a truer
With all your fears upon you.
Bea.
Bad enough then.
Dia.
Then I with all my lightsome joyes about me.
I'me glad to hear't then, you dare put your honesty
Upon an easie tryall.
Dia.
Easie?—any thing.
Bea.
I'le come to you streight.
Dia.
She will not search me? will she?
Like the fore-woman of a female Jury.
Bea.
Glass M. I, this is it; look Diaphanta,
You take no worse then I do.
Dia.
And in so doing I will not question what 'tis, but take it:
Bea.
Now if the experiment be true, 'twill praise it selfe,
And give me noble ease:—Begins already,
There's the first symptome; and what hast it makes
To fall into the second, there by this time
Most admirable secret, on the contrary
It stirs not me a whit, which most concerns it:
Dia.
Ha, ha, ha.
Bea.
Just in all things and in order,
As if 'twere circumscrib'd, one accident gives way unto another.
Dia.
Ha, ha, ha.
Bea.
How now wench?
Dia.
Ha, ha, ha, I am so so light at heart, ha, ha, ha. so pleasurable.
But one swig more, sweet Madam.
Bea.
I, to morrow, we shall have time to sit by't.
Dia.
Now I'me sad agen.
Bea.
It layes it self so gently too; Come wench, most honest Diaphanta
I dare call thee now.
Dia.
Pray tell me, madam, what trick call you this?
Bea.
I'le tell thee all hereafter; we must study the carriage of this
business:
Dia.
I shall carry't well, because I love the burthen.
Bea.
About midnight you must not fail to steal forth gently,
That I may use the place.
Dia.
Oh fear not, Madam,
I shall be cool by that time: the brides place,
And with a thousand Duckets; I'me for a Justice now,
I bring a portion with me, I scorn small fools.
Exeunt.
Enter Vermandero and Servant.
Ver.
I tell thee knave, mine Honor is in question,
A thing till now free from suspition,
Nor ever was there cause; who of my Gentlemen are absent?
Ser.
Antonio, Sir, and Franciscus.
Ver.
When did they leave the Castle?
Ser.
Some ten days since, sir, the one intending to Briamata,
Th'other for Valentia.
Ver.
The time accuses 'um, a charge of murder
Is brought within my Castle gate, Piracquo's murder,
I dare not answer faithfully their absence:
A strict command of apprehension
Shall pursue 'um suddenly, and either wipe
The stain off clear, or openly discover it.
Provide me winged warrants for the purpose.
See, I am set on agen.
Exit Servant.
Enter Tomazo.
Tom.
I claim a brother of you.
Ver.
Y'are too hot, seek him not here.
Tom.
Yes, 'mongst your dearest bloods,
If my peace find no fairer satisfaction,
This is the place must yeeld account for him,
For here I left him, and the hasty tie
Of this snatcht marriage, gives strong testimony
Of his most certain ruine.
Ver.
Certain falshood;
This is the place indeed, his breach of faith,
Has too much mar'd both my abused love,
The honorable love I reserv'd for him,
And mock't my daughters joy; the prepar'd morning
Blusht at his infidelity, he left
Contempt and scorn to throw upon those friends
Whose belief hurt 'em: oh 'twas most ignoble
To take his flight so unexpectedly,
And throw such publick wrongs on those that lov'd him
Tom.
Then this is all your answer.
Ver.
Tis too fair for one of his alliance; and I warn you
That this place no more see you.
Exit.
Enter Deflores.
Tom.
The best is, there is more ground to meet a mans revenge on.
Honest Deflores.
Def.
That's my name indeed.
Saw you the Bride? Good sweet sir, which way took she?
I have blest mine eyes from seeing such a false one.
Def.
I'de fain get off, this man's not for my company,
I smell his brothers blood when I come neer him.
Tom.
Come hither kind and true one; I remember
My brother lov'd thee well.
Def.
O purely, dear sir, me thinks I am now agen a killing on him.
He brings it so fresh to me.
Tom.
Thou canst guesse sirrah,
One honest friend has an instinct of jealousie
At some foul guilty person.
Def.
'Lasse sir, I am so charitable, I think none
Worse then my self—You did not see the Bride then?
Tom.
I prithee name her not. Is she not wicked?
Def.
No, no, a pretty easie round-packt sinner,
As your most Ladies are, else you might think
I flatter'd her; but sir, at no hand wicked,
Till th'are so old their sins and vices meet,
And they salute Witches; I am call'd, I think sir:
His company ev'n ore-lays my conscience.
Exit.
Tom.
That Deflores has a wondrous honest heart.
He'l bring it out in time, I'me assur'd don't.
O here's the glorious master of the dayes joy.
I will not be long till he and I do reckon sir.
Enter Alsemero.
Als.
You are most welcome.
Tom.
You may call that word back,
I do not think I am, nor wish to be.
Als.
'Tis strange you found the way to this house then.
Tom.
Would I'de nere known the cause, I'me none of those sir,
That come to give you joy, and swill your wine,
'Tis a more pretious liquor that must lay
The fiery thirst I bring.
Als.
Your words and you appear to me great strangers.
Tom.
Time and our swords may make us more acquainted;
This the businesse.
I should have a brother in your Place,
How treachery and malice have dispos'd of him,
I'me bound to enquire of him which holds his right:
Which never could come fairly.
Als.
You must look to answer for that word, sir.
Fear you not, I'le have it ready drawn at our next meeting.
Keep your day solemn. Farewell, I disturb it not,
Il'e bear the smart with patience for a time.
Exit.
Als.
'Tis somwhat ominous this, a quarrell entred
Upon this day, my innocence relieves me,
Enter Jasperino.
I should be wondrous sad else—Jasperino,
I have newes to tell thee, strange news.
Jas.
I ha' some too,
I think as strange as yours, would I might keep
Mine, so my faith and friendship might be kept in't.
Faith sir, dispense a little with my zeal,
And let it cool in this.
Als.
This put's me on, and blames thee for thy slowness.
Jas.
All may prove nothing,
Onely a friendly fear that leapt from me, sir.
Als.
No question it may prove nothing; let's partake it thou.
Jas.
'Twas Diaphanta's chance, for to that wench
I pretend honest love, and she deserves it,
To leave me in a back part of the house,
A place we chose for privat conference;
She was no sooner gone, but instantly
I heard your brides voyce in the next room to me;
And lending more attention, found Deflores
Lowder then she.
Als.
Deflores? Thou art out now.
Jas.
You'l tell me more anon.
Als.
still I'le prevent thee, the very sight of him is poyson to her.
Jas.
That made me stagger too, but Diaphanta
At her return confirm'd it.
Als.
Diaphanta!
Jas.
Then fell we both to listen, and words past
Like those that chalenge interest in a woman:
Als.
Peace, quench thy zeal, tis dangerous to thy bosom
Jas.
Then truth is full of perill.
Als.
Such truths are—O were she the sole glory of the earth,
Had eys that could shoot fire into Kings breasts,
And toucht, she sleeps not here, yet I have time
Though night be neer, to be resolv'd hereof,
And prithee do not weigh me by my passions.
I never weigh'd friend so.
Als.
Done charitably, that key will lead thee to a pretty secre
By a Chaldean taught me, and I've
My study upon some, bring from my closet
A glass inscrib'd there with the letter M.
And question not my purpose.
Jas.
It shall be done sir.
Exit.
Als.
How can this hang together? Not an hour since?
Her woman came pleading her Lady's fears,
Deliver'd her for the most timerous virgin
That ever shrunk at mans name, and so modest,
She charg'd her weep out her request to me,
That she might come obscurely to my bosome.
Enter Beatrice.
Bea.
All things go well, my womans preparing yonder
For her sweet voyage, which grieves me to lose,
Necessity compels it; I lose all else.
Als.
Push, Modesties shrine is set in yonder forehead.
I cannot be too sure tho my Joanna.
Bea.
Sir, I was bold to weep a message to you,
Pardon my modest fears.
Als.
The Dove's not meeker.
She's abus'd questionless.—Oh are you come, sir?
Enter Jasperino.
Bea.
The glass upon my life; I see the letter.
Jas.
Sir, this is M.
Als.
T's it
Bea.
I am suspected.
Als.
How fitly our Bride comes to partake with us!
Bea.
What is't, my Lord?
Als.
No hurt.
Bea.
Sir, pardon me, I seldom tast of any composition.
Als.
But this upon my warrant you shall venture on.
Bea.
I fear 'twill make me ill.
Als.
Heaven forbid that.
Bea.
I'me put now to my cunning, th'effects I know,
If I can now but feign 'em handsomly.
Als.
It has that secret vertue it ne're mist, sir,
Upon a virgin.
Jas.
Treble qualited:
By all that's vertuous it takes there, proceeds.
Jas.
This is the strangest trick to know a maid by.
Bea.
Ha, ha, ha, you have given me joy of heart to drink my Lord.
Als.
No, thou hast given me such joy of heart,
That never can be blasted.
Bea.
What's the matter sir?
Als.
See now 'tis setled in a melancholy,
Keep both the time and method, my Joanna:
Chast as the breath of heaven, or mornings womb,
That brings the day forth, thus my love incloses thee.
Exeunt.
Enter Isabella and Lollio.
Isa.
Oh heaven! is this the waiting moon?
Does love turn fool, run mad, and all once?
Sirrah, here's a mad-man, a-kin to the fool too,
A lunatick lover.
Lol.
No, no, not he I brought the Letter from.
Isa.
Compare his inside with his out, and tell me.
Lol.
The out's mad, I'me sure of that, I had a tast on't.
To the bright Andromeda, chiefe Chambermaid to the
Knight of the Sun, at the sign of Scorpio, in the middle
Region, sent by the Bellows-mender of Æolus. Pay the
Post.
Isa.
Now mark the inside.
Sweet Lady, having now cast off this Counterfeit Cover of
a mad-man, I appeare to your best Judgement a true and
faithfull Lover of your beauty.
Lol.
He is mad still.
Isa.
If any fault you finde, chide those perfections in you, which have
have made me imperfect; 'Tis the same Sun that causeth to
grow, and inforceth to wither.
Lol.
Oh Rogue!
Isa.
Shapes and transhapes, destroys and builds again, I come in winter
to you dismantled of my proper ornaments, by the sweet splendor
of your cheerful smiles, I spring and live a lover.
Lol.
Mad Rascall stil.
Isa.
Tread him not under foot, that shal appear an honour to your bounties.
I remain—mad till I speak with you, from whom I expect
my cure.
Yours all, or one beside himself,
Franciscus.
You are like to have a fine time on't, my Master and I may
give over our professions, I do not think but you can cure fools and
madmen faster then we, with little pains too.
Isa:
Very likely.
Lol.
One thing I must tell you Mistris, you perceive, that I am
privy to your skill, if I finde you minister once and set up the trade,
I put in for my thirds, I shall be mad or fool else.
Isa:
The first place is thine, beleeve it, Lollio,
If I do fall.
Lol:
I fall upon you.
Isa:
So.
Lol:
Well I stand to my venture.
Isa:
But thy councel now, how shall I deal with 'am:
Lol:
We do you mean to deal with 'um.
Isa:
Nay, the fair understanding, how to use 'um.
Lol:
Abuse 'um, that's the way to mad the fool, and make a fool
of the madman, and then you use 'um kindly.
Isa:
'Tis easie, I'll practise, do thou observe it,
The key of thy Wardrobe.
Lol.
There fit your self for 'um, and I'll fit 'um both for you.
Isa:
Take thou no further notice, then the outside.
Exit.
Lol:
Not an inch, I'll put you to the inside.
Enter Alibius.
Ali:
Lollio, art there, will all be perfect think'st thou
To morrow night, as if to close up the solemnity:
Vermandero expects us:
Lol:
I mistrust the madmen most, the fools will do well enough:
I have taken pains with them.
Ali.
Tush they cannot miss; the more absurdity,
The more commends it, so no rough behaviours
Affright the Ladies; they are nice things thou knew'st.
Lol:
You need not fear, Sir, so long as we are there with our
commanding peesles, they'll be as tame as the ladies themselves.
Ali:
I will see them once more rehearse before they go.
Lol:
I was about it, Sir; looke you to the madmens Morris, and let
me alone with the other; there is one or two that I mistrust their
fooling; I'll instruct them, and then they shall rehearse the whole
measure.
Ali:
Do so, I'll see the musick prepar'd: but, Lollio.
By the way, how does my wife brook her restraint:
Lol.
So, so, she takes some pleasure in the house, she would abroad
else, you must allow her a little more length, she's kept too
short.
Ali.
She shall along to Vermandero's with us,
That will serve her for a moneths liberty.
Lol:
What's that on your face, Sir?
Ali:
Where, Lollio, I see nothing.
Lol.
Cry you mercy, Sir, tis your nose, it shew'd like the trunck
of a young Elephant.
Ali:
Away, Rascal: I'll prepare the musick, Lollio
Ex. Ali:
Lol.
Do, Sir; and I'll dance the whilst; Tony, where art thou Tony?
Enter Antonio.
Ant.
Here, Cozen, where art thou?
Lol.
Come, Tony, the footmanship I taught you.
Ant:
I had rather ride, Cozen.
Lol:
I, a whip take you; but I'll keep you out,
Vault in; look you, Tony, Fa, la la la la.
Ant:
Fa, la la la la.
Lol:
There, an honour.
Ant:
Is this an honour, Cuz?
Lol:
Yes, and it please your worship.
Ant:
Does honour bend in the hams, Cuz?
Lol:
Marry does it, as low as worship, squireship, nay yeomandry
It self sometimes, from whence it first stiffened.
There rise a caper.
Ant:
Caper after an honour, Cuz.
Lol:
Very proper, for honour is but a caper, rise as fast and high,
Has a knee or two, and falls to th'ground agen,
You can remember your figure, Tony?
Exit.
Ant:
Yes, Cozen, when I see thy figure, I can remember mine.
Enter Isabella.
Isa.
Hey, how she treads the air, shough shough, to'ther way.,
He burns his wings else, here's wax enough below Icarus,
More then will be cancelled these eighteen moons;
He's down, hes down, what a terrible fall he had, stand up,
Thou son of Cretan Dedalus, and let us tread the lower
Labyrinth; I'll bring thee to the Clue.
Ant.
Prethee, Cuz let me alone.
Isa:
Art thou not drown'd,
About thy head I saw a heap of Clouds
A crookt Camelion colour'd rainbow hung,
Like a Tyara down unto thy hams.
Let me suck out those Billows in thy belly,
Heark how they rore and rumble in the streets.
Bless thee from the Pyrats.
Ant.
Pox upon you, let me alone.
Isa.
Why shouldst thou mount so high as Mercury,
Unlesse thou hadst reversion of his place?
Stay in the Moon with me Endymion,
And we will rule these wild rebellious waves,
That would have drownd my love.
Ant.
I'le kick thee if again thou touch me,
Thou wild unshapen Antick; I am no fool,
You Bedlam.
Isa.
But you are as sure as I am, mad.
Have I put on this habit of a frantick,
With love as full of fury to beguile
The nimble eye of watchfull jealousie,
And am I thus rewarded?
Ant.
Ha dearest beauty.
Isa.
No, I have no beauty now,
Nor never had, but what was in my garments.
You a quick-sighted lover, come not neere me.
Keep your Caparisons, y'are aptly clad,
I came a feigner to return stark mad.
Exit.
Enter Lollio.
Ant.
Stay, or I shall change condition,
And become as you are.
Loll.
Wy Tony, whither now? why fool?
Ant.
Whose fool, usher of Idiotts, you Coxcomb.
I have foold too much.
Lol.
You were best me mad another while then.
Ant.
So I am, stark mad, I have cause enough,
And I could throuw the full effects on thee,
And beat thee like a Fury.
Lol.
Doe not, doe not, I shall not forbear the Gentleman under
the foole, if you doe; alas, I saw through your Fox-skin before
now: Come, I can give you comfort, My Mistress loves you, and
Rivall, whom she loves not; if after the mask we can rid her
of him, You earn her love she sayes, and the fool shall ride
her.
Ant.
May I beleeve thee?
Lol.
Yes, or you may chuse whether you will or no.
Ant.
She's eas'd of him, I have a good quarrell on't.
Lol.
Well, keep your old station yet, and be quiet.
Ant.
Tell her I will deserve her love.
Lol.
And you are like to have your desire.
Enter Franciscus.
Fran:
Down, down, down a-down a-down, and then with a horse-trick,
To kick Latona's forehead, and break her bow string.
Lol.
This is to'ther counterfeit, I'l put him out of his humour,
Sweet Lady, having now cast this counterfeit cover of a mad-man.
I appear to your best judgement a true and faithfull lover of your
beauty. This is pretty well for a mad-man.
Fran:
Ha! what's that?
Lol:
Chide those perfections in you which made me imperfect.
Fran.
I am discover'd to the fool.
Lol.
I hope to discover the fool in you, e're I have done with
you. Yours all, or one beside himself, Franciscus. This mad-man
will mend sure.
Fran:
What? Do you read sirrah?
Lol:
Your destiny sir, you'l be hang'd for this trick, and another
that I know.
Fran.
Art thou of counsell with thy mistress?
Lol.
Next her Apron strings.
Fran:
Give me thy hand.
Lol:
Stay, let me put yours in my pocket first: your hand is true,
is it not? It will not pick, I partly fear it, because I think it does
lye.
Fran.
Not in a sillable.
Lol.
So, if you love my mistress so well as you have handled the
matter here, you are like to be cur'd of your madness.
Fran:
And none but she can cure it.
Lol.
Well, Il'e give you over then, and she shall cast your water
next.
Fran.
Take for thy pains past.
I shal deserve more, sir, I hope, my mistress loves you, but must
have some proof of your love to her.
Fran.
There I meet my wishes.
Lol.
That will not serve, you must meet her enemy and yours.
Fran:
He's dead already.
Lol.
Will you tell me that, and I parted but now with him?
Fran.
Shew me the man.
Lol.
I that's a right course now, see him before you kill him in any
case, and yet it needs not go so far neither; 'tis but a fool that haunts
the house, and my mistriss in the shape of an ideot, bang but his
fools coat well-favouredly, and 'tis well.
Fran.
Soundly, soundly.
Lol.
Onely reserve him till the masque be past; and if you find him
not now in the dance your self, I'le shew you.
Fran.
He handles him like a feather. Hey!
Enter Alibius.
Alib.
Well said, in a readiness Lollio.
Lol.
Yes, sir.
Alib.
Away then, and guide them in Lollio,
Intreat your Mistress to see this sight.
Hark is there not one incurable fool
That might be beg'd? I have friends.
Loll.
I have him for you, one that shall deserve it too.
Alib.
Good boy Lollio.
The Madmen and Fools dance.
'Tis perfect well fit, but once these strains,
We shall have coin and credit for our pains.
Exeunt.
| The Changeling | |