 | The Excellent Comedy, called The Old Law |  |
Act. III.
Scen. I.
Enter the Clown and Clark.Clo.
You have searcht ore the Parish Chronicle, sir?
Clar.
Yes sir, I have found out the true age and date of the
party you wot on.
Clo.
Pray you be covered sir.
Clar.
When you have shewd me the way sir.
Clo.
Oh sir remember your selfe, you are a Clark.
Clar.
A small Clark sir.
Clo.
Likely to be the wiser man sir, for your greatest Clarks are
not alwayes so, as tis reported.
Clar.
You are a great man in the Parish sir.
Clo.
I understand my self so much the better fit, for all the best
in the Parish pay duties to the Clark, and I would ow you none sir.
Clar.
Since youl have it so, i'le be the first to hide my head.
Clo.
Mine is a capcass now to our busines in your hand, good
luck I hope, I long to be resolv'd.
Clar.
Look you sir, this is that cannot deceive you,
This is the Diall that goes ever true;
You may say Ipse dixit upon this witnes,
And tis good in Law too.
Clo.
Pray you lets hear what it speaks.
Clar.
Mark sir, Agatha the daughter of Pollux, this is your
Wives name, and the name of her father, born.
Clo.
Whose daughter say you.
Clar.
The daughter of Pollux
Clo.
I take it his name was Bollux.
Clar.
Pollux the Orthography I assure you sir, the word is corrupted else.
Clo.
Well on sir of Pollux, now come on Castor.
Clar.
Born in an. 1540. and now tis 99. by this infallible record
sir (let me see) she is now just 59. and wants but on.
Clo.
I am sorry she wants so much.
Why sir? alas tis nothing, tis but so many months, so many
weeks, so many—
Clo.
Do not deduct it to dayes, twill be the more tedious, and
to measure it by houre glasses were intollerable.
Clar.
Doe not think on it sir, halfe the time goes away in sleep,
tis halfe the yeare in nights.
Clo.
Oh you mistake me neighbour, I am loath to leave the good
old woman, if shee were gone now it would not grieve mee, for
what is a yeare alasse but a lingring torment? and were it not better
she were out of her paine, t'must needs bee a griefe to us both.
Clar.
I would I knew how to ease you neighbour?
Clo.
You speake kindly truly, and if you say but Amen to it,
(which is a word that I know you are perfect in) it might be don,
Clarks are the most indifferent honest men, for to the marriage of
your enemy, or the buriall of your friend, the Curses or the Blessings
to you are all one, you say Amen to all.
Clar.
With a better will to the one then the other neighbour,
but I shall be glad to say Amen to any thing might doe you a pleasure.
Clo.
There is first somthing above your duty, now I would
have you set forward the Clock alittle, in to helpe the old woman
out of her paine.
Clar.
I will speake to the Sexton for that, but the day will go
nere the faster for that.
Clo.
Oh neighbour you doe not conceit mee, not the Jack of the
Clock-house the hand of the Diall I meane, come, I know you being
a great Clark, cannot chuse but have the art to cast a figure.
Clar.
Never indeed neighbour, I never had the judgement to
cast a figure.
Clo.
I'le show you on the back side of your booke, looke you,
what figures this.
Clar.
Four with a Cipher thats forty.
Clo.
So forty, whats this now?
Clar.
The Cipher is turn'd into 9. by adding the taile which
makes forty nine.
Clo.
Very well understood, what i'st now?
Clar.
The 4. is turnd into 3. tis now thirty nine.
Clo.
Very well understood, and can you do this agen?
Clar.
Oh easily sir.
A wager of that, let me see the place of my wives age agen.
Clar.
Looke you sir tis heere 1540.
Clo.
Forty drachmaes, you doe not turne that forty into thirty
nine.
Clar.
A match with you.
Clo.
Done, and you shall keepe stakes your selfe there they are.
Clar.
A firme match, but stay sir now I consider it, I shall add
a yeare to your wives age, let me see Scirophon the 17. and now tis
Hecatomcaon the 11. if I alter this your wife will have but a month
to live by the Law.
Clo.
Thats all one sir, either doe it or pay me my wager.
Clar.
Will you lose your wife before you lose your wager?
Clo.
A man may get two wives before halfe so much money by
em, will you doot?
Clar.
I hope you will conceale me for tis flat corruption.
Clo.
Nay sir I would have you keepe counsell, for I lose my
money by't and should be laught at for my labour, if it should bee
known.
Clar.
Well sir, there tis done, as perfect 39. as can be found in
black and white but mum sir, thers danger in this figure casting.
Clo.
I sir, I know that better men then you have beene throwne
over the barr for as little, the best is, you can be but throwne out of
the Belfrie.
Enter the Cook, the Taylor, Bayliffe, and Butler.
Clar.
Lock close heere comes company, Asses have eares as well
as Pitchers.
Cook.
Oh Gnothos, how i'st? heer's a trick of discarded Cards
of us, wee were ranked with Coats as long as our old master lived.
Clo.
And is this then the end of Serving men?
Cooke.
Yes faith, this is the end of serving men, a wise man
were better serve one God then all the men in the world.
Clo.
Twas well spak of a Cook, and are all faln into fasting daies
and ember weeks, that Cooks are out of use?
Tay.
And all Taylors will bee cut into Lists and Shreds, if this
world hold, we shall grow both out of request.
But.
And why not Butlers as well as Taylors, if they can goe
naked, let em neither eat nor drink.
Cla.
Thats strange mee thinks, a Lord should turne away his
Tay.
I do so so, but indeed all our wants are long of this Publican
my Lords Bayliff, for had he been rent gatherer still, our places
had held together still, that are now seame rent, nay crack'd
in the whole peece.
Bal.
Sir, if my Lord had not sold his Lands that claime his
Rents, I should still have beene the rent gatherer.
Cook.
The truth is, except the Coachman, and the Footman, all
Serving men are out of request.
Clo.
Nay say not so, for you were never in more request then
now; for requesting is but a kind of a begging, for when you say I
beseech your Worships Charity, tis all one if you say I request
it, and in that kind of requesting, I am sure serving men were never
in more request.
Cook.
Troath hee sayes true, well let that passe, wee are upon a
better adventure, I see Gnothos you have beene before us, we came
to deale with this Merchant for some commodities.
Clar.
With me sir any thing that I can.
But.
Nay we have look'd out our Wives already, marry to you
we come to know the prices, that is to know their ages for so much
reverence we beare to age, that the more aged, they shall be the
more deere to us.
Tay.
The truth is every man has laid by his Widdow, so they
be lame enough, blinde enough, and old, tis good enough.
Clar.
I keepe the town stock, if you can but name em, I can
tell their ages to day.
Om.
We can tell their fortunes to an houre then.
Clar.
Only you must pay for turning of the leaves.
Cook.
Oh bountifully, come mine first!
But.
The Butler before the Cooke while you live, thers few
that eate before they drinke in a morning.
Tay.
Nay then the Taylor puts in his needle of priority, for
men do cloth themselves before they either drink or eat.
Bay.
I will strive for no place, the longer ere I marry wife,
the older shee will be, and nearer her end and my ends.
Clar.
I will serve you all gentlemen if you will have patience.
Clo.
I commend your modesty sir, you are a Bayliff whose place
is to come behind other men, as it were in the bumm of all the rest.
Bay.
So sir, and you were about this businesse too, seeking out
Clo.
Alack no sir, I am a married man, and have those cares upon
me that you would faine runn into.
Bay.
What an old rich wife, any man in this age desires such a
care.
Clo.
Troath sir I'le put a venter with you if you will, I have a
lusty old queane to my wife, sound of wind and limb, yet I'le give
out to take three for one, at the marriage of my second wife.
Bay.
I sir, but how neere is shee to the Law?
Clo.
Take that at hazard sir, there must bee time you know to
get a new: Unsight, unseen, I take 3. to one.
Bay.
Two to one I'le give if shee have but two teeth in her
head.
Clo.
A match, theres five drachmes for ten at my next wife.
Bay.
A match.
Cook.
I shall be fitted bravely, fifty eight and upwards, tis but a
yeare and a halfe, and I may chance make friends, and beg a yeare
of the Duke.
But.
Hey boyes I am made sir Butler, my wife that shall bee
wants but two months of her time, it shall bee one ere I marry her,
and then the next will be a hunny moon.
Tay.
I out strip you all, I shall have but six weeks of Lent, if I
get my Widdow, and then comes eating tide plump and gorgious.
Clo.
This Taylor will be a man if ever there were any.
Bay.
Now comes my turn, I hope goodman Finis, you that are
still at the end of all with a so be it, well now sirs, doe you venter
there as I have done? and ile venter heereafter you, good luck I beseech
thee.
Clar.
Amen sir.
Bay.
That deserves a fee already, there tis, please me and have a
better.
Clar.
Amen sir.
Cook.
How two for one at your next wife, is the old one living?
Clo.
You have a faire Match, I offer you no foule one, if
Death make not hast to call her, shee'l make none to go to him.
But.
I know her, shees a lusty woman, I'le take the venter.
Clo.
Theres five drachmaes for ten at my next wife.
But.
A bargain.
Nay then weel be all Merchants give me.
Tay.
And me.
But.
What has the Bayliff sped?
Bay.
I am content, but none of you shall know my happiness.
Clar.
As well as any of you all believe it sir.
Bay.
Oh Clarke you are to speak last alwayes.
Clar.
I'le remember't hereafter sir. you have done with mee
Gentlemen?
Enter Wife.
Om.
For this time honest Register.
Clar.
Fare you well then, if you do, I'le cry Amen toot.
Exit.
Cook.
Looke you sir is not this your Wife?
Clo.
My first wife sir.
But.
Nay then we have made a good match ont, if she have no
froward Disease, the Woman may live this dozen yeares by her
age.
Tay.
I'me afraid shees broken winded, shee holds silence so
long.
Cook.
Weel now leave our venter to the event, I must a wooing.
But.
Ile but buy me a new dagger, and overtake you.
Bay.
So we must all, for he that goes a wooing to a Widdow
without a weapon will never get her.
Exeunt.
Clo.
Oh Wife, Wife!
Wife.
What ayle you man you speake so passionatly.
Clo.
Tis for thy sake sweet wife, who would thinke so lusty an
old woman, with reasonable good teeth, and her tongue in as perfect
use as ever it was, should bee so neere her time, but the Fates
will have it so?
Wife.
Whats the matter man, you doe amaze me?
Clo.
Thou art not sick neither I warrant thee.
Wife.
Not that I know of sure.
Clo.
What pitty tis a woman should bee so neere her end, and
yet not sick.
Wife.
Neere her end man, tush I can guesse at that,
I have yeares good yet of life in the remainder,
I want two yet at least of the full number,
Then the Law I know craves impotent and useless
And not the able women.
Clo.
I alas I see thou hast beene repairing time as well as thou
seene too thick, too thick, and I read whats written in thy forehead,
it agrees with the Church Booke.
Wife.
Have you sought my age man, and I preethee how is
it?
Clo.
I shall but discomfort thee.
Wife.
Not at all man, when there's no remedy, I will go though
unwillingly.
Clo.
1539. Just it agrees with the Booke, you have about a
yeare to prepare your selfe.
Wife.
Out alas, I hope theres more then so, but doe you not
thinke a repreeve might be gotten for halfe a score, and twere but
five yeare, I would not care, an able woman (me thinks) were to
be pittied.
Clo.
I to be pittied, but not help'd, no hope of that, for indeed
women have so blemishd their own reputations now a dayes, that
it is thought the Law will meet them at fifty very shortly.
Wife.
Marry the Heavens forbid.
Clo.
Theres so many of you that when you are old become
Witches, some professe Physick, and kill good subjects faster then a
burning Feavour; and then Schoolemistresses of the sweet sinne,
which commonly we call Bawds innumerable of that sort: for these
and such causes tis thought they shall not live above fifty.
Wife.
I man but this hurts not the good old women.
Clo.
I faith you are so like one another, that a man cannot
distinguish 'em now; were I an old woman I would desire to goe
before my time, and offer my selfe willingly, 2. or 3. yeares before;
oh those are brave women and worthy to bee commended of all
men in the world that when their Husbands die they run to bee
burnt to death with em, theres honor and credit, give mee halfe a
dozen such wives.
Wife.
I if her Husband were dead before, 'twere a reasonable request,
if you were dead I could be content to be so.
Clo.
Fie, thats not likely, for thou hadst two husbands before me.
Wife.
Thou wouldst not have me die, would'st thou husband?
Clo.
No I do not speake to that purpose, but I say what credit
it were for mee and thee, if thou would'st, then thou shouldst never
bee suspected for a Witch, a Physitian, a Bawd, or any of those
things, and then how daintily should I mourne for thee, how bravelie
choose but bee a great griefe to him to thinke hee has not seene his
wife well buried, there be such vertuous women in the world, but
too few, too few who desire to die 7. yeares before their time with
all their hearts.
Wife.
I have not the heart to be of that mind, but indeed Husband
I think you would have me gone.
Clo.
No alas I speake but for your good and your credit, for
when a woman may die quickly, why should shee goe to Law for
her Death, alack I neede not wish thee gone, for thou hast but a
short time to stay with me, you do not know how neare tis, it must
out, you have but a month to live by the Law.
Wife.
Out alas.
Clo.
Nay scarce so much.
Wife.
Oh, oh, oh, my heart!
Swouns.
Clo.
I so, if thou wouldst go away quietly twere sweetly done,
and like a kind wife, lie but a little longer and the bell shall towle
for thee.
Wife.
Oh my hart, but a month to live.
Clo.
Alas why wouldst thou come back agen for a month, i'le
throw her downe agen, oh woman tis not three weeks, I thinke a
fortnight is the most.
Wife.
Nay then I am gone allready.
Swouns.
Clo.
I would make hast to the Sexton now, but I'me afraid the
towling of the Bell will wake her agen; if she be so wise as to goe
now, she stirs agen, ther's two lives of the nine gone.
Wife.
Oh wouldst not thou helpe to recover mee husband?
Clo.
Alas, I could not find in my heart to hold thee by thy nose,
or box thy cheeks, it goes against my conscience.
Wife.
I will not be thus frighted to my Death,
I'le search the Church Record a fortnight
Tis too little of conscience, I cannot be so neare,
Oh time if thou beest kind lend me but a yeare.
Exit.
Clo.
What a spites this, that a man cannot perswade his wife
to dye in any time with her good will, I have another bespoke already,
though a peece of old beefe will serve to breakfast, yet a
man would be glad of a Chicken to supper; the Clarke I hope understands
no Hebrew, and cannot write backward what hee hath
writ forward already, and then I am well enough: tis but a month
My venter comes in with her two for one,
Tis use enough a consciēce for a brother if he had a consciēce.
Exit.
Enter Eugenia at one Dore, Simonides, Courtiers at the other.
Eug.
Gentlemen Courtiers.
1. Cour.
All your servants vowd Lady.
Oh I shall kill my selfe with infinite laughter!
Will no body take my part?
Sim.
An't be a laughing businesse
Put it to me, i'me one of the best in Europe.
My father died last too, I have the most cause.
Eug.
You ha pickd out such a time sweet Gentlemen
To make your spleen a banquet.
Sim.
Oh the jest Lady!
I have a jaw stands ready fort, il'e gape,
Halfe way and meet it.
Eug.
My old Husband
That cannot say his prayers out for Jealosie
And madnesse, at your comming first to woe me.
Sim.
Well sayd.
1. Cour.
Go on.
2. Cour.
On, on.
Eug.
Takes Counsell with the secrets of all art
To make himselfe youthfull agen.
Sim.
How youthfull, ha, ha, ha.
Eug.
A man of forty five he would faine seeme to be
Or scarce so much if he might have his will indeed.
Sim.
I but his white haires theyl betray his hoarinesse.
Eug.
Why there you are wide, hees not the man you take him for,
Nay will you know him when you see him agen,
There will be five to one layd upon that.
1. Cour.
How?
Eug.
Nay you did well to laugh faintly there,
I promise you I think heel out live me now,
And deceive Law and all.
Sim.
Merry gowt forbid.
Eug.
You little think he was at Fencing Schoole
At foure a Clock this Morning.
Sim.
How at Fencing Schoole?
Else give no trust to woman.
Sim.
By this light
I doe not like him then, hees like to live
Longer then I, for he may kill me first now.
Eug.
His dancer now came in as I met you.
1. Cour.
His dancer too.
Eug.
They observe turnes and houres with him,
The great French rider will be heere at ten
With his Curvetting Horse.
2. Cour.
These notwithstanding.
His haire and wrincles will betray his age.
Eug.
I'me sure his Head and Beard as he has orderd it
Looks not past fifty now heel bringt to forty
Within these four dayes for 9 times an hour at least
He takes a Black Lead Combe and kembs it over.
Three quarters of his Beard is under fifty,
Thers but a little tuft of fourscore left
Enter Lisander.
All of one side which will be black by Munday,
And to approve my truth see where he coms?
Laugh softly gentlemen, and looke upon him.
Sim.
Now by this hand hees almost black ith mouth indeed.
1. Cour.
He should die shortly then.
Sim.
Marry me thinks he dies too fast already,
For he was all white but a weeke agoe.
1. Cour.
Oh this same cunny white takes an excellent black,
Too soone a mischiefe ont.
2. Cour.
He will beguild us all
If that little tuft Northward turne black too.
Eug.
Nay sir I wonder tis so long a turning.
Sim.
May be some Fairies child held forth at midnight
Has pist upon that side.
1. Cour.
Is this the Beard?
Lis.
Ah sirrah my yong boyes I shall be for you,
This little mangle tuft takes up more time
Then all the Beard beside, come you a wooing
And I alive and lusty? you shall find
An alteration, Jack boyes I have a Spirit yet,
And I could match my haire too't, theres the fault,
And can doe offices of youth yet lightly.
Shall not a man for a little foolish age
Enjoy his Wife to himselfe, must yong Court tits
Play tomboyes tricks with her, and he live, ha?
I have blood that will not beart, yet I confesse
I should be at my prayers, but wheres the Dancer there.
Ent. Dan
Dan.
Heere sir.
Lis.
Come, come, come, one trick a day,
And I shall soone recover all agen.
Eug.
Slight and you laugh too loud, we are all discoverd Gentlemen
Sim.
And I have a scurvy ginny laugh a mine own,
Will spoyle all i'me afraid.
Eug.
Marry take heed sir.
Sim.
Nay and I should bee hangd I can't leave it, pup. there tis.
Eug.
Peace oh peace!
Lis.
Come I am ready sir.
I heare the Church Bookes lost where I was borne to,
And that shall set me back one and twenty years
There is no little comfort left in that,
And my three Court Codlings that looke parboyld,
As if they came from Cupids scalding house.
Sim.
He meanes me specially I hold my life.
Danc.
What trick will your old Worship learn this morning sir?
Lis.
Marry a trick if thou couldst teach a man
To keepe his Wife to himselfe, i'de faine learn that.
Danc.
Thats a hard trick for an old man specially
The Horse trick comes the nearest.
Lis.
Thou sayst true, I faith
They must be horst indeed, else theres no keeping on em
And horse play at fourscore is not so ready.
Danc.
Look you heers your Worships horse trick sir.
Lis.
Nay say not so,
Tis none of mine I fall down horse and man,
If I but offer at it.
Danc.
My life for yours sir.
Lis.
Saist thou me so.
Danc.
Well offerd by my Violl sir.
Lis.
A Pox of this horse trick, t'as playd the jade with me
And given me a wrinch ith back.
Now heeres your inturne, and your trick above ground.
Lis.
Prithee no more, unlesse thou hast a mind
To lay me underground, one of these tricks
Is enough in a morning.
Danc.
For your Galliard sir
You are compleat enough, I and may challenge
The proudest Coxcombe of em all, i'le stand toot.
Lis.
Faith and I've other weapons for the rest too,
I have prepard for em, if ere I take
My Gregories heere agen.
Sim.
Oh I shall burst, I can hold out no longer.
Eug.
Hee spoyles all.
Lis.
The Divell and his grinners are you come.
Bring forth the weapons we shall find you play,
All feats of youth to Jack Boyes, feats of youth,
And these the wapons, drinking, fencing, dancing,
Your owne roade waies you Glisterpipes, Ime old you say
Yes parlous old Kidds and you mark me well,
This Beard cannot get Children, you lank suckeggs,
Unlesse such Weezels come from Court to help us
We will get our owne bratts, you lecherous dogbolts
Enter with Glasses.
Wel said down with 'em, now we shall see your spirits
What dwindle you already?
2. Cour.
I have no quallity.
Sim.
Nor I, unlesse drinking may be reckned
For one.
1. Cour.
Why Sim it shall.
Lis.
Come dare you chuse your weapon now.
1. Cour.
I dancing sir and you will be so hasty.
Lis.
We're for you sir.
2. Cour.
Fencing I.
Lis.
Weel answer you to.
Sim.
I'me for drinking your wet weapon there.
Lis.
That wet one has cost many a princox life
And I will send it through you with a powder.
Sim.
Let come with a Pox, I care not so't be drink,
I hope my guts will hold, and that's een all
A Gentleman can looke for of such trillibubs.
Lis.
Play the first weapon, come strike, strike I say
Alwayes the worst goes foremost, so twill prove I hope
So sir, y'ave spit your poyson, now come I,
Now forty years ago backward and assist me
Fall from me halfe my age but for three minutes,
That I may feel no crick, I will put faire fort
Although I hazzard twenty Sciaticaes
So I have hit you.
1. Cour.
Y'ave done well I faith sir.
Lis.
If you confesse it well tis excellent
And I have hit you soundly, I am warme now,
The second weapon instantly.
2. Cour.
What so quick sir, will you not allow your selfe a breathing time?
Lis.
Ive breath enough at all times, Lucifers Musk cod,
To give your perfumd worship 3. Vennies,
A sound old man puts his thrust better home
Then a spic'd yong man, there I.
2. Cour.
Then have at you fourscore.
Lis.
You lie twenty I hope, and you shall find it.
Sim.
I'me glad I mist this weapon, I had an eye
Popd out ere this time, or my two butter teeth
Thrust down my throat instead of a flap draggon.
Lis.
Theres two, peptwizle.
Danc.
Excellently touch'd sir.
2. Cour.
Had ever man such luck, speak your opinion gentlemen?
Sim.
Me thinks your lucks good that your eyes are in stil,
Mine would have drop'd out like a pigs halfe roasted.
Lis.
There wants a third
and there tis agen.
2. Cour.
The Divel has steeld him.
Eug.
What a strong fiend is Jelousie?
Lis.
Your dispatchd beare whelp.
Sim.
Now comes my weapon in.
Lis.
Heere toad stoole, heere.
Tis with you and I must play these 3. wet Vennies.
Sim.
Vennis in Venice Glasses, let em come
Theyl bruise no flesh Ime sure, nor break no bones.
2. Cour.
Yet you may drink your eyes out sir.
Sim.
I but thats nothing then they goe voluntarily, I doe not
Lis.
Heeres your first weapon dusks meat.
Sim.
How, a dutch what you call em,
Stead of a German falchion, a shrewd weapon,
And of all things, hard to be taken downe,
Yet downe it must, I have a nose goes in toot
I shall drinke double I think.
1. Cour.
The sooner off Sim.
Lis.
Ile pay you speedily—with a trick.
I learnt once amongst drunkards, heeres halfe pike.
Sim.
Halfe pike comes well after Dutch what you call em,
They'd never be a sunder by their good will.
1. Cour.
Well puld of an old fellow.
Lis.
Oh but your fellowes
Pull better at a rope.
1. Cour.
Theres a haire Sim.
In that Glasse.
Sim.
Ant be as long as a halter downe it goes
No haire shall crosse me.
Lis.
I make you stinke worse then your Polecats doe.
Heeres long sword your last weapon.
Sim.
No more weapons.
1. Cour.
Why how now Sim beare up, thou shamst us all else.
Sim.
Light I shall shame you worse and I stay longer.
I ha got the Scotony in my head already,
The whimzy, you all turne round, do not you dance gallants.
2. Cour.
Pish whats all this? why Sim look the last Venny
Sim.
No more Vennies goes down heere, for these 2. are comming up agen.
2. Cour.
Out The disgrace of drinkers.
Sim.
Yes twill out,
Doe you smell nothing yet?
1. Cour.
Smell.
Sim.
Farwell quickly then it will do if I stay.
Exit.
1. Cour.
A Foyle go with thee.
Lise.
What shall we put downe youth at her owne vertues?
Beat folly in her owne ground wondrous much
Why may not we be held as full sufficient
To love our owne wives, then get our owne children
And live in free peace till we be dissolved?
But no more substance then those Shamble flies
Which Butchers boyes snap betweene sleepe and waking,
Come but to crush you once you are all but maggots,
For all your beamy out sides.
Enter Cleanthes
Eug.
Heeres Cleanthes,
He comes to chide let him alone a little,
Our cause will be reveng'd, look, look his face
Is set for stormy weather, do but marke
How the Clouds gather in't, 'twil powre downe straight.
Clean.
Me thinks I partly know you, thats my griefe
Could you not all be lost that had beene handsome,
But to be known at all tis more then shamefull,
Why was not yeur name wont to be Lisander?
Lis.
Tis so still coze.
Clean.
Judgement defer thy comming, else this mans miserable.
Eug.
I told you there would be a showre anon.
2. Cour.
Weel in and hide our noddles.
Exeunt Courtiers & Eugenia.
Clean.
What Divel brought this colour to your mind,
Which since yeur childhood I neare saw you weare,
You were ever of an innocent gloss
Since I was ripe for knowledge, and would you lose it
And change the Livery of Saints and Angels
For this mixt monstrousnes, to force a ground
That has been so long hallowed like a Temple,
To bring forth fruits of earth now, and turn black
To the wild cries of lust, and the complexion
Of Sin in act, lost and long since repented;
Would you begin a work nere yet attempted;
To pul time backward?
See what your wife wil do, are your wits perfect?
Lis.
My witts.
Clean.
I like it ten times worse for t'ad been safer
Now to be mad, and more excusable.
I heare you dance agen and do strange follies.
Lis.
I must confesse I have been put to some coze.
Clean.
And yet you are not mad, pray say not so
Give me that comfort of you that you are mad
That I may think you are at worst, for it
The first of some Disease was never heard of,
Which may be worse then madness, and more fearfull,
Youd weep to see your selfe else, and your care
To pray wou'd quickly turne you white agen.
I had a father had he livd his month out
But to ha seen this most prodigious folly,
There needed not the Law to have cut him off:
The sight of this had prov'd his executioner, and broke his heart,
He would have held it equall
Done to a Sanctuary, for what is age
But the holy place of life, Chapel of ease
For all mens wearied miseries, and to rob
That of her Ornament, it is accurst,
As from a Priest to steale a holy Vestment,
I and convert it to a sinfull covering.
Exit Lisander.
I see ta's done him good, blessing go with it,
Enter Eugenia.
Such as may make him pure agen.
Eug.
Twas bravely touch'd I faith sir.
Clean.
Oh y'are welcome.
Eug.
Exceedingly well handled.
Clean.
Tis to you I come, he fell but i'my way.
Eug.
You markd his beard Cosen.
Clean.
Mark me.
Eug.
Did you ever see a haire so changd?
Clean.
I must be forcd to wake her lowdly to,
The Divel has rock'd her so fast asleep, Strumpet.
Eug.
Do you call sir?
Clean.
Whore.
Eug.
How doe you sir?
Clean.
Be I nere so well
I must be sick of thee, th'art a Disease
That stickest t'oth heart, as all such women are.
Eug.
What ailes our kindred?
Clean.
Blesse me she sleeps still, what a dead modesty is i'this woman?
Will never blush agen, look on thy work,
But with a Christian eye, 'twould turn thy heart
Into a showre of blood to be the cause
Of that old mans destruction, think upont
Heaven has found him a faint servant lately,
His goodness has gone backward, and ingendred
With his old sins again, has lost his prayers
And all the tears that were companions with em
And like a blind fold man, giddy and blinded
Thinking he goes right on still, swerves but one foot
And turnes to the same place where he set out,
So he that tooke his farwell of the world
And cast the joyes behind him out of sight,
Sum'd up his houres, made even with time and men
Is now in heart arriv'd at youth agen;
All by thy wildness thy too hasty lust
Has driven him to this strong apostacy,
Immodesty like thine was never equald
Ive heard of women, (shall I call em so)
Have welcomd suitors ere the Corps were cold,
But thou thy Husband living, thou art too bold.
Eug.
Well have you done now sir?
Clean.
Look, look she smiles yet.
Eug.
All this is nothing to a mind resolvd,
Ask any woman that, sheel tell you so much
You have only showne a pretty sawcy wit,
Which I shal not forget nor to requite it,
You shal heare from me shortly:
Clean.
Shamelesse woman,
I take my counsel from thee tis too honest
And leave thee wholly to thy stronger master,
Blesse the sex of thee from thee, thats my Prayer
Were al like thee so impudently common,
No man would be found to wed a woman.
Exit.
Eug.
Ile fit you gloriously hee that attempts to take away my pleasure,
Ile take away his joy, and I can sure
His conceald father payes sort, ile een tel.
Him that I meane to make my husband next
Enter Simonides
And he shall tel the Duke,—Masse heere he comes.
Sim.
Has had about with me too.
Eug.
What no? since sir.
Sim.
A flurt, a little flurt, he cald me strange names
Eug.
You shall quit him sir when he as little minds you.
Sim.
I like that wel.
I love to be reveng'd when no one thinks of me.
Theres little danger that way.
Eug.
This is it then
He you shall strike your stroke shal be profound,
And yet your foe not guesse who gave the wound.
Sim.
A my troath I love to give such wounds.
Exeunt.
| The Excellent Comedy, called The Old Law | |