University of Virginia Library

Scene X.

Enter to them running, Rut.
Rut.
Helpe, helpe for Charity; Sir Moath Interest
Is falne into the Well.

Lad.
Where? where?

Rut.
I' the Garden.
A rope to save his life.

Com.
How came he there?

Rut.
He thought to take possession of a fortune,
There newly drop't him, and the old Chaine broke,
And downe fell hee i' the Bucket.

Com.
Is it deepe?

Rut.
We cannot tell. A rope: helpe with a rope.

Sil.
He is got out againe. The Knight is sav'd.

Enter Silke-worme. Ironside Item. Needle, and Interest. Rut.
Iro.
A little sows'd i' the water: Needle sav'd him.

Ite.
The water sav'd him, 'twas a faire escape.

Nee.
Ha' you no hurt?

Int.
A little wet.

Nee.
That's nothing.

Rut.
I wish'd you stay Sir till to morrow: And told you,
It was no lucky houre: since sixe a Clock
All starres were retrograde.

Lad.
I' the name
Lady.
Of fate, or folly how came you i' the Bucket?

Int.
That is a Quœre of another time, sister,
The Doctor will resolve you—who hath done
The admirable'st cure upon your Needle!
Gi' me thy hand good Needle: thou cam'st timely.
Take off my hood and coat. And let me shake
My selfe a little. I have a world of busines.
Bias.
Where is my Nephew Bias? and his wife?
Placentia.
Who bids God gi'hem joy? Here they both stand
Palate.
As sure affianced, as the Parson, or words
Can tie 'hem.

Rut.
Wee all wish 'hem joy, and happinesse.

Silk.
I saw the Contract, and can witnesse it.

Int.
He shall receive ten thousand pounds to morrow.
You look'd for't, Compasse, or a greater summe,
But 'tis dispos'd of, this, another way.
I have but one Neice, verely Compasse.

Com.
Ile find another. Varlet, doe your office.

Var.
I doe arrest your body, Sir Moath Interest,
Varlet.
In the Kings name: At suite of Mr. Compasse,
And Dame Placentia his wife. The Action's entred,
Five hundred thousand pound.

Int.
Heare you this, sister?
And hath your house the eares, to heare it too?
And to resound the affront?

Lad.
I cannot stop
The Lawes, or hinder Justice. I can be
Your Baile, if't may be taken.

Com.
With the Captaines,
I aske no better.

Rut.
Here are better men,
Will give their Baile.

Com.
But yours will not be taken,
Worshipfull Doctor; you are good security
For a suit of clothes, to th'Taylor, that dares trust you:
But not for such a summe, as is this Action.
Varlet, You know my mind.

Var.
You must to prison, Sir,
Vnlesse you can find Baile the Creditor likes.

Int.
I would faine find it, if you'd shew me where.

Silk.
It is a terrible Action; more indeed,
Then many a man is worth. And is call'd Fright-Baile.

Iro.
Faith I will baile him, at mine owne apperill.
Varlet, be gone: Ile once ha' the reputation,
To be security for such a summe.
Beare up Sir Moath.

Rut.
He is not worth the Buckles
About his Belt, and yet this Ironside clashes.

Int.
Peace, lest he heare you Doctor; wee'll make use of him.
What doth your brother Compasse, Captaine Ironside,
Demand of us, by way of challenge, thus?

Iro.
Your Neices portion; in the right of his wife.

Int.
I have assur'd one portion, to one Neice,
And have no more t'account for, that I know of:
What I may doe in charity—if my sister,
Will bid an Offring for her maid, and him,
As a Benevolence to 'hem, after Supper,
Ile spit into the Bason, and intreat
My friends to doe the like.

Com.
Spit out thy gall,
And heart, thou Viper: I will now no mercy,
No pitty of thee, thy false Neice, and Needle;
Bring forth your Child, or I appeale you of murder,
You, and this Gossip here, and Mother Chaire.

Pleasance steps out.
Cha.
The Gentleman's falne mad!

Ple.
No, Mrs. Midwife.
I saw the Child, and you did give it me,
And put it i' my armes, by this ill token,
You wish'd me such another; and it cry'd.

Pra.
The Law is plaine; if it were heard to cry,
And you produce it not, hee may indict
All that conceale't, of Felony, and Murder.

Com.
And I will take the boldnesse, Sir, to doe it:
Beginning with Sir Moath here, and his Doctor.

Silk.
Good faith this same is like to turne a busines.

Pal.
And a shrewd busines, marry: they all start at't.

Com.
I ha' the right thred now, and I will keepe it.
You good'y Keepe, confesse the truth to my Lady,
The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth.

Pol.
I scorne to be prevented of my glories.
I plotted the deceit, and I will owne it.
Love to my Child, and lucre of the portion
Provok'd me; wherein though th'event hath fail'd
In part, I will make use of the best side.
This is my Daughter, and she hath had a Child
This day, unto her shame, I now professe it.)
By this meere false-stick Squire Needle, but
Since this wise Knight, hath thought it good to change
The foolish Father of it, by assuring
Her to his deare friend, Mr. Bias; and him
Againe to her, by clapping of him on
With his free promise of ten thousand pound,
Afore so many witnesses.

Silk.
Whereof I
Am one.

Pal.
And I another.

Pol.
I should be unnaturall
To my owne flesh, and blood, would I not thanke him.
I thanke you Sir: and I have reason for it.
For here your true Neice stands, fine Mrs. Compasse.
(Ile tell you truth, you have deserv'd it from me.)
To whom you are by bond engag'd to pay
The sixteene thousand pound, which is her portion,
Due to her husband, on her marriage-day.
I speake the truth, and nothing but the truth.

Iro.
You'll pay it now, Sir Moath, with interest?
You see the truth breaks out on every side of you.

Int.
Into what nets of cous'nage am I cast
On ev'ry side? each thred is growne a noofe:
A very mesh: I have run my selfe into
A double breake, of paying twice the money.

Bia.
You shall be releas'd of paying me a penny,
With these conditions.

Pal.
Will you leave her then?

Bia.
Yes, and the summe, twice told, ere take a wife,
To pick out Mounsieur Needles basting threds.

Com.
Gossip you are paid: though he be a fit nature,
Worthy to have a Whore justly put on him;
He is not bad enough to take your Daughter,
On such a cheat. Will you yet pay the portion?

Int.
What will you 'bate?

Com.
No penny the Law gives.

Int.
Yes, Bias's money.

Com.
What? your friend in Court?
I will not rob you of him, nor the purchase,
Nor your deare Doctor here, stand altogether.
Birds of a nature all, and of a feather.

Lad.
Well, wee are all now reconcil'd to truth.
There rests yet a Gratuitie from me,
To be conferr'd upon this Gentleman;
Who (as my Nephew Compasse sayes) was cause,
First of th'offence, but since of all th'amends,
The Quarrell caus'd th'affright; that fright brought on
The travell, which made peace, the peace drew on
This new discovery, which endeth all
In reconcilement.

Com.
When the portion
Is tender'd, and receiv'd.

Int.
Well, you must have it,
As good at first as last. 'Tis well said brother.
And I, if this good Captaine will accept me,
Give him my selfe, endow him with my estate,
And make him Lord of me, and all my fortunes:
He that hath sav'd my houre, though by chance,
Ile really study his, and how to thanke him.

Iro.
And I imbrace you, Lady, and your goodnesse,
And vow to quit all thought of warre hereafter;
Save what is fought under your colours, Madam.

Pal.
More worke then for the Parson; I shall cap
The Loadstone with an Ironside, I see.

Iro.
And take in these, the forlorne Couple, with us,
Needle, and's Thred, whose portion I will thinke on;
As being a busines, waiting on my bounty:
Thus I doe take possession of you, Madam,
My true Magnetick Mistris, and my Lady.