 | The Alchemist |  |
Act V.
Scene I.
Love-Wit, Neighbovrs.
Has there beene such resort, say you?
Nei. 1.
Daily, sir.
Nei. 2.
And nightly, too.
Nei. 3.
I, some as braue as lords.
Nei. 4.
Ladies, and gentlewomen.
Nei. 5.
Citizens wiues.
Nei. 1.
And knights.
Nei. 6.
In coches.
Nei. 2.
Yes, & oyster-women.
Nei. 1.
Beside other gallāts.
Nei. 3.
Sailors wiues.
Nei. 4.
Tabacco-men.
Nei. 5.
Another Pimlico!
Lov.
What should my knaue aduance,
To draw this companie? He hung out no banners
Of a strange Calfe, with fiue legs, to be seene?
Or a huge Lobster, with sixe clawes?
Nei. 6.
No, sir.
Nei. 3.
We had gone in then, sir.
Lov.
He has no guift
Of teaching i'the nose, that ere I knew of!
You saw no Bills set vp, that promis'd cure
Of agues, or the tooth-ach?
Nei. 2.
No such thing, sir.
Lov.
Nor heard a drum strooke, for Babiouns, or Puppets?
Nei. 5.
Neither, sir.
Lov.
What deuice should he bring forth now!
I loue a teeming wit, as I loue my nourishment.
'Pray god he ha' not kept such open house,
That he hath sold my hangings, and my bedding:
I left him nothing else. If he haue eate 'hem,
A plague o' the moath, say I. Sure he has got
Some bawdy pictures, to call all this ging;
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Of the Knights courser, couering the Parsons mare;
The Boy of sixe yeere old, with the great thing:
Or't may be, he has the Fleas that runne at tilt,
Vpon a table, or some Dog to daunce?
When saw you him?
Nei. 1.
Who sir, Ieremie?
Nei. 2.
Ieremie butler?
We saw him not this mont'h.
Lov.
How!
Nei. 4.
Not these 5. weeks, sir.
Nei.
These six weeks, at the least.
Lov.
Yo'amaze me, neighbours!
Nei. 5.
Sure, if your worship know not where he is,
Hee's slipt away.
Nei. 6.
Pray god, he be not made away!
He knocks.
Lov.
Ha? It's no time to question, then.
Nei. 6.
About
Some three weekes since, I heard a dolefull cry,
As I sate vp, a mending my wiues stockings.
Lov.
This's strange! that none will answere! Didst thou heare
A cry, saist thou?
Nei. 6.
Yes, sir, like vnto a man
That had beene strangled an houre, and could not speake.
Nei. 2.
I heard it too, iust this day three weekes, at two a clock
Next morning.
Lov.
These be miracles, or you make 'hem so!
A man an houre strangled, and could not speake,
And both you heard him cry?
Nei. 3.
Yes, downeward, sir.
Lov.
Thou art a wise fellow: Giue me thy hand I pray thee.
What trade art thou on?
Nei. 3.
A smith, and't please your worship.
Lov.
A smith? Then, lend me thy helpe, to get this dore open.
Nei. 3.
That I will presently, sir, but fetch my tooles—
Nei. 1.
Sir, best to knock againe, afore you breake it.
Scene II.
Love-Wit, Face, Neighbovrs.
I will.
Fac.
What meane you, sir?
Nei. 1., 2., 4.
O, here's Ieremie!
Fac.
Good sir, come from the dore.
Lov.
Why! what's the matter?
Fac.
Yet farder, you are too neere, yet.
Lov.
I'the name of wonder!
What meanes the fellow?
Fac.
The house, sir, has beene visited.
Lov.
What? with the plague? stand thou then farder.
Fac.
No, sir,
I had it not.
Lov.
Who had it then? I left
None else, but thee, i'the house!
Fac.
Yes, sir. My fellow,
The cat, that kept the buttry, had it on her
A weeke, before I spied it: but I got her
Conuay'd away, i'the night. And so I shut
The house vp for a month—
Lov.
How!
Fac.
Purposing then, sir,
T'haue burnt rose-vinegar, triackle, and tarre,
And, ha' made it sweet, that you should ne'er ha'knowne it:
Because I knew the newes would but afflict you, sir.
Lov.
Breath lesse, and farder off. Why, this is stranger!
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Haue still been open—
Fac.
How, sir!
Lov.
Gallants, men, and women,
And of all sorts, tag-rag, beene seene to flock here
In threaues, these ten weekes, as to a second Hogs-den,
In dayes of Pimlico, and Eye-bright!
Fac.
Sir,
Their wisedomes will not say so!
Lov.
To day, they speake
Of coaches, and gallants; one in a French-hood,
Went in, they tell me: and another was seene
In a veluet gowne, at the windore! diuerse more
Passe in and out!
Fac.
They did passe through the dores then,
Or walls, I assure their eye-sights, and their spectacles;
For here, sir, are the keyes: and here haue beene,
In this my pocket, now, aboue twentie dayes!
And for before, I kept the fort alone, there.
But, that 'tis yet not deepe i' the after-noone,
I should beleeue my neighbours had seene double
Through the black-pot, and made these apparitions!
For, on my faith, to your worship, for these three weekes,
And vpwards, the dore has not beene open'd.
Lov.
Strange!
Nei. 1.
Good faith, I thinke I saw a coach!
Nei. 2.
And I too,
I'lld ha' beene sworne!
Lov.
Doe you but thinke it now?
And but one coach?
Nei. 4.
We cannot tell, sir: Ieremie
Is a very honest fellow.
Fac.
Did you see me at all?
Nei. 1.
No. That we are sure on.
Nei. 2.
I'll be sworne o' that.
Lov.
Fine rogues, to haue your testimonies built on!
Nei. 3.
Is Ieremie come?
Nei. 1.
O, yes, you may leaue your tooles,
We were deceiu'd, he sayes.
Nei. 2.
He'has had the keyes:
And the dore has beene shut these three weekes.
Nei. 3.
Like enough.
Lov.
Peace, and get hence, you changelings.
Fac.
Svrly come!
And Mammon made acquainted? They'll tell all.
(How shall I beate them off? What shall I doe?)
Nothing's more wretched, then a guiltie conscience.
Scene III.
Svrly, Mammon, Love-Wit, Face, Neighbovrs, Kastril, Ananias, Tribvlation, Dapper, Svbtle.
No, sir, he was a great physitian. This,
It was no bawdy-house: but a meere Chancell.
You knew the lord, and his sister.
Mam.
Nay, good Svrly—
Svr.
The happy word, be rich—
Mam.
Play not the tyranne—
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Should be to day pronounc'd, to all your friends.
And where be your andirons now? and your brasse pots?
That should ha' beene golden flaggons, and great wedges?
Mam.
Let me but breath. What! They ha' shut their dores,
Mammon and Surly knock.
Methinks!
Svr.
I, now, 'tis holy-day with them.
Mam.
Rogues,
Coseners, impostors, bawds.
Fac.
What meane you, sir?
Mam.
To enter if we can.
Fac.
Another mans house?
Here is the owner, sir. Turne you to him,
And speake your businesse.
Mam.
Are you, sir, the owner?
Lov.
Yes, sir.
Mam.
And are those knaues, within, your cheaters?
Lov.
What knaues? what cheaters?
Mam.
Svbtle, and his Lungs.
Fac.
The gentleman is distracted, sir! No lungs,
Nor lights ha' beene seene here these three weekes, sir,
Within these dores, vpon my word!
Svr.
Your word,
Groome arrogant?
Fac.
Yes, sir, I am the house-keeper,
And know the keyes ha' not beene out o' my hands.
Svr.
This's a new Face?
Fac.
You doe mistake the house, sir!
What signe was't at?
Svr.
You raskall! This is one
O' the confederacie. Come, let's get officers,
And force the dore.
Lov.
'Pray you stay, gentlemen.
Svr.
No, sir, wee'll come with warrant.
Mam.
I, and then,
We shall ha' your dores open.
Lov.
What meanes this?
Fac.
I cannot tell, sir!
Nei. 1.
These are two o'the gallants,
That we doe thinke we saw.
Fac.
Two o'the fooles?
You talke as idly as they. Good faith, sir,
I thinke the Moone has cras'd 'hem all! (O me,
The angrie Boy come too? Hee'll make a noyse,
And nere away till he haue betray'd vs all.)
Kastrill knocks.
Kas.
What rogues, bawds, slaues, you'll open the dore anone,
Punque, cocatrice, my suster. By this light
I'll fetch the marshall to you. You are a whore,
To keepe your castle—
Fac.
Who would you speake with, sir?
Kas.
The bawdy Doctor, and the cosening Captaine,
And Pvs my suster.
Lov.
This is something, sure!
Fac.
Vpon my trust, the dores were neuer open, sir.
Kas.
I haue heard all their tricks, told me twice ouer,
By the fat knight, and the leane gentleman.
Lov.
Here comes another.
Fac.
Ananias too?
And his Pastor?
Tri.
The dores are shut against vs.
They beat too, at the dore.
Ana.
Come forth, you seed of sulphure, sonnes of sire,
Your stench, it is broke forth: abomination
Is in the house.
Kas.
I, my suster's there.
Ana.
The place,
It is become a cage of vncleane birds.
Kas.
Yes, I will fetch the scauenger, and the constable.
Tri.
You shall doe well.
Ana.
Wee'll ioyne, to weede them out.
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You will not come then? punque, deuice, my suster!
Ana.
Call her not sister. Shee is a harlot, verily.
Kas.
I'll raise the street.
Lov.
Good gentlemen, a word.
Ana.
Sathan, auoid, and hinder not our zeale.
Lov.
The world's turn'd Bet'lem.
Fac.
These are all broke loose,
Out of S. Kather'nes, where they vse to keepe,
The better sort of mad-folkes.
Nei. 1.
All these persons
We saw goe in, and out, here.
Nei. 2.
Yes, indeed, sir.
Nei. 3.
These were the parties.
Fac.
Peace, you drunkards. Sir,
I wonder at it! Please you, to giue me leaue
To touch the dore, I'll trie, an' the lock be chang'd.
Lov.
It mazes me!
Fac.
Good faith, sir, I beleeue,
There's no such thing. 'Tis all deceptio visus.
Would I could get him away.
Dap.
Master Captayne, master Doctor.
Dapper cryes out within.
Lov.
Who's that?
Fac.
(Our clark within, that I forgot!) I know not, sir.
Dap.
For gods sake, when wil her Grace be at leisure?
Fac.
Ha!
Illusions, some spirit o'the aire: (his gag is melted,
And now he sets out the throte.)
Dap.
I am almost stiffled—
Fac.
(Would you were altogether.)
Lov.
'Tis i'the house.
Ha! List.
Fac.
Beleeue it, sir, i'the aire!
Lov.
Peace, you—
Dap.
Mine aunts Grace do's not vse me well.
Svb.
You foole,
Peace, you'll marre all.
Fac.
Or you will else, you rogue.
Lov.
O, is it so? Then you conuerse with spirits!
Come sir. No more o' your tricks, good Ieremie,
The truth, the shortest way.
Fac.
Dismisse this rabble, sir.
What shall I doe? I am catch'd.
Lov.
Good neighbours,
I thanke you all. You may depart. Come sir,
You know that I am an indulgent master:
And therefore, conceale nothing. What's your med'cine,
To draw so many seuerall sorts of wild-fowle?
Fac.
Sir, you were wont to affect mirth, and wit:
(But here's no place to talke on't i'the street.)
Giue me but leaue, to make the best of my fortune,
And onely pardon me th'abuse of your house:
It's all I begge. I'll helpe you to a widdow,
In recompence, that you shall gi' me thankes for,
Will make you seuen yeeres yonger, and a rich one.
'Tis but your putting on a Spanish cloake,
I haue her within. You need not feare the house,
It was not visited.
Lov.
But by me, who came
Sooner then you expected.
Fac.
It is true, sir.
'Pray you forgiue me.
Lov.
Well: let's see your widdow.
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Scene IIII.
Svbtle, Dapper, Face, Dol.
How! ha' you eaten your gag?
Dap.
Yes faith, it crumbled
Away i'my mouth.
Svb.
You ha' spoil'd all then.
Dap.
No,
I hope my aunt of Faery will forgiue me.
Svb.
Your aunt's a gracious lady: but in troth
You were to blame.
Dap.
The fume did ouer-come me,
And I did do't to stay my stomack. 'Pray you
So satisfie her Grace. Here comes the Captaine.
Fac.
How now! Is his mouth downe?
Svb.
I! he has spoken!
Fac.
(A poxe, I heard him, and you too.) Hee's vn-done, then.
(I haue beene faine to say, the house is haunted
With spirits, to keepe churle back.
Svb.
And hast thou done it?
Fac.
Sure, for this night.
Svb.
Why, then triumph, and sing
Of Face so famous, the precious king
Of present wits.
Fac.
Did you not heare the coyle,
About the dore?
Svb.
Yes, and I dwindled with it.)
Fac.
Shew him his aunt, and let him be dispatch'd:
I'll send her to you.
Svb.
Well sir, your aunt her Grace,
Will giue you audience presently, on my sute,
And the Captaines word, that you did not eate your gag,
In any contempt of her Highnesse.
Dap.
Not I, in troth, sir.
Dol like the Queene of Faery.
Svb.
Here shee is come. Downe o' your knees, and wriggle:
Shee has a stately presence. Good. Yet neerer,
And bid, God saue you.
Dap.
Madame.
Svb.
And your aunt.
Dap.
And my most gracious aunt, god saue your Grace.
Dol.
Nephew, we thought to haue beene angrie with you:
But that sweet face of yours, hath turn'd the tide,
And made it flow with ioy, that eb'd of loue.
Arise, and touch our veluet gowne.
Svb.
The skirts,
And kisse 'hem. So.
Dol.
Let me now stroke that head,
Much, nephew, shalt thou win; much shalt thou spend;
Much shalt thou giue away; much shalt thou lend.
Svb.
(I much, indeed.) Why doe you not thanke her Grace?
Dap.
I cannot speake, for ioy.
Svb.
See, the kind wretch!
Your Graces kins-man right.
Dol.
Giue me the Bird.
Here is your Fly in a purse, about your neck, cosen,
Weare it, and feed it, about this day seu' night,
On your right wrist—.
Svb.
Open a veine, with a pinne,
And let it suck but once a weeke: till then,
You must not looke on't.
Dol.
No. And, kins-man,
Beare your selfe worthy of the bloud you come on.
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Her grace would ha' you eate no more Wool-sack pies,
Nor Dagger frume'ty.
Dol.
Nor breake his fast,
In heauen, and hell.
Svb.
Shee's with you euery where!
Nor play with Costar-mongers, at mum-chance, tray-trip.
God make you rich, (when as your aunt has done it:) but keepe
The gallant'st company, and the best games—
Dap.
Yes, sir.
Svb.
Gleeke and primero: and what you get, be true to vs.
Dap.
By this hand, I will.
Svb.
You may bring's a thousand pound,
Before to morrow night, (if but three thousand,
Be stirring) an' you will.
Dap.
I sweare, I will then.
Svb.
Your Fly will learne you all games.
Fac.
Ha' you done there?
Svb.
Your grace will command him no more duties?
Dol.
No:
But come, and see me often. I may chance
To leaue him three or foure hundred chests of treasure,
And some twelue thousand acres of Faerie land:
If he game well, and comely, with good gamesters.
Svb.
There's a kind aunt! kisse her departing part.
But you must sell you fortie marke a yeare, now:
Dap.
I, sir, I meane.
Svb.
Or, gi't away: pox on't.
Fac.
I'le gi't mine aunt. Ile goe and fetch the writings.
Svb.
'Tis well, away.
Fac.
Where's Svbtle?
Svb.
Here. What newes?
Fac.
Drvgger is at the doore, goe take his suite,
And bid him fetch a Parson, presently:
Say, he shall marrie the widdow. Thou shalt spend
A hundred pound by the seruice! Now, queene Dol,
Ha'you pack'd vp all?
Dol.
Yes.
Fac.
And how doe you like
The lady Plyant?
Dol.
A good dull innocent.
Svb.
Here's your Hieronimo's cloake, and hat.
Fac.
Giue mee 'hem.
Svb.
And the ruffe too?
Fac.
Yes, I'll come to you presently.
Svb.
Now, he is gone about his proiect, Dol,
I told you of, for the widow.
Dol.
'Tis direct
Against our articles.
Svb.
Well, wee'll fit him, wench.
Hast thou gull'd her of her iewels, or her bracelets?
Dol.
No, but I will do't.
Svb.
Soone at night, my Dolly,
When we are shipt, and all our goods aboord,
East-ward for Ratcliffe; we will turne our course
To Brainford, westward, if thou saist the word:
And take our leaues of this ore-weaning raskall,
This peremtorie Face.
Dol.
Content, I'am weary of him.
Svb.
Tho'hast cause, when the slaue will runne a wiuing, Dol,
Against the instrument, that was drawne betweene vs.
Dol.
I'll plucke his bird as bare as I can.
Svb.
Yes, tell her,
She must by any meanes, addresse some present
To th'cunning man; make him amends, for wronging
His art with her suspition; send a ring;
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Extremely in her sleepe, say: and ha' strange things
Come to her. Wilt thou?
Dol.
Yes.
Svb.
My fine flitter-mouse,
My bird o'the night; wee'll tickle it at the pigeons,
When we haue all, and may vn-lock the trunkes,
They kisse.
And say, this's mine, and thine, and thine, and mine—
Fac.
What now, a billing?
Svb.
Yes, a little exalted
In the good passage of our stock-affaires.
Fac.
Drvgger has brought his Parson, take him in, Svbtle,
And send Nab back againe, to wash his face.
Svb.
I will: and shaue himselfe?
Fac.
If you can get him.
Dol.
You are hot vpon it, Face, what ere it is!
Fac.
A trick, that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by.
Is he gone?
Svb.
The Chaplaine waits you i' the hall, sir.
Fac.
I'll goe bestow him.
Dol.
Hee'll now marry her, instantly.
Svb.
He cannot, yet, he is not readie. Deare Dol,
Cosen her of all thou canst. To deceiue him
Is no deceipt, but iustice, that would breake
Such an inextricable tye as ours was.
Dol.
Let me alone to fit him.
Fac.
Come, my venturers,
You ha' pack'd vp all? Where be the trunkes? Bring forth.
Svb.
Here.
Fac.
Let's see 'hem. Where's the money?
Svb.
Here,
In this.
Fac.
Mammons ten pound: eight score before.
The Brethrens money, this. Drvggers, and Dappers.
What paper's that?
Dol.
The iewell of the waiting maides,
That stole it from her lady, to know certaine—
Fac.
If shee should haue precedence of her mistris?
Dol.
Yes.
Fac.
What boxe is that?
Svb.
The fish-wiues rings, I thinke:
And th'ale-wiues single money. Is't not Dol?
Dol.
Yes: and the whistle, that the saylors wife
Brought you, to know, and her husband were with Ward.
Fac.
Wee'll wet it to morrow: and our siluer-beakers,
And tauerne cups. Where be the French petti-coats,
And girdles, and hangers?
Svb.
Here, i'the trunke,
And the bolts of lawne.
Fac.
Is Drvggers damaske, there?
And the tabacco?
Svb.
Yes.
Fac.
Giue me the keyes.
Dol.
Why you the keyes!
Svb.
No matter, Dol: because
We shall not open 'hem, before he comes.
Fac.
'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed:
Nor haue 'hem forth. Doe you see? Not forth, Dol.
Dol.
No!
Fac.
No, my smock-rampant. The right is, my master
Knowes all, has pardon'd me, and he will keepe 'hem,
Doctor, 'tis true (you looke) for all your figures:
I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners,
Both hee, and shee, be satisfied: for, here
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Twixt Svbtle, Dol, and Face. All I can doe
Is to helpe you ouer the wall, o' the back-side;
Or lend you a sheet, to saue your veluet gowne, Dol.
Here will be officers, presently; bethinke you,
Of some course sodainely to scape the dock:
For thether you'll come else. Harke you, thunder.
Some knock.
Syb.
You are a precious fiend!
Off.
Open the dore.
Fac.
Dol, I am sorry for thee i-faith. But hearst thou?
It shall goe hard, but I will place thee some-where:
Thou shalt ha' my letter to mistris Amo.
Dol.
Hang you—
Fac.
Or madame Cæsarean.
Dol.
Poxe vpon you, rogue,
Would I had but time to beat thee.
Fac.
Svbtle,
Let's know where you set vp next; I'll send you
A customer, now and then, for old acquaintance:
What new course ha' you?
Svb.
Rogue, I'll hang my selfe:
That I may walke a greater diuell, then thou,
And haunt thee i' the flock-bed, and the buttery.
Scene V.
Love-Wit, Officers, Mammon, Svrly, Face, Kastril, Ananias, Tribvlation, Drvgger, Da. Pliant.
VVhat doe you meane, my masters?
Mam.
Open your dore,
Cheaters, bawds, coniurers.
Off.
Or wee'll breake it open.
Lov.
What warrant haue you?
Off.
Warrant inough, sir, doubt not:
If you'll not open it.
Lov.
Is there an officer, there?
Off.
Yes, two, or three for fayling.
Lov.
Haue but patience,
And I will open it straight.
Fac.
Sir, ha'you done?
Is it a marriage? perfect?
Lov.
Yes, my braine.
Fac.
Off with your ruffe, and cloake then, be your selfe, sir.
Svr.
Downe with the dore.
Kas.
'Slight, ding it open.
Lov.
Hold.
Hold gentlemen, what meanes this violence?
Mam.
Where is this Colliar?
Svr.
And my Captaine Face?
Mam.
These day-Owles.
Svr.
That are birding in mens purses.
Mam.
Madame Suppository.
Kas.
Doxey, my sister.
Ana.
Locusts
Of the foule pit.
Tri.
Profane as Bel, and the Dragon.
Ana.
Worse then the Grasse-hoppers, or the Lice of Egypt.
Lov.
Good gentlemen, heare me. Are you officers,
And cannot stay this violence?
Off.
Keepe the peace.
Lov.
Gentlemen, what is the matter? Whom doe you seeke?
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The Chymicall cousoner.
Svr.
And the Captaine Pandar.
Kas.
The Nun my suster.
Mam.
Madame Rabbi.
Ana.
Scorpions,
And Caterpillers.
Lov.
Fewer at once, I pray you.
Off.
One after another, gentlemen, I charge you,
By vertue of my staffe—
Ana.
They are the vessells
Of pride, lust, and the cart.
Lov.
Good zeale, lie still,
A little while.
Tri.
Peace, Deacon Ananias.
Lov.
The house is mine here, and the dores are open:
If there be any such persons, as you seeke for,
Vse your authoritie, search on o' gods name.
I am but newly come to towne, and finding
This tumult 'bout my dore (to tell you true)
It somewhat maz'd me; till my man, here, (fearing
My more displeasure) told me had done
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house
(Belike, presuming on my knowne auersion
From any aire o' the towne, while there was sicknesse)
To a Doctor, and a Captaine: who, what they are,
They enter.
Or where they be, he knowes not.
Mam.
Are they gone?
Lov.
You may goe in, and search, sir. Here, I find
The emptie walls, worse then I left 'hem, smok'd,
A few crack'd pots, and glasses, and a fornace,
The seeling fill'd with poesies of the candle:
And Madame, with a Dildo, writ o'the walls.
Onely, one gentlewoman, I met here,
That is within, that said shee was a widdow—
Kas.
I, that's my suster. I'll goe thumpe her. Where is shee?
Lov.
And should ha' marryed a Spanish Count, but he,
When he came to't, neglected her so grosly,
That I, a widdower, am gone through with her.
Svr.
How! Haue I lost her then?
Lov.
Were you the Don, sir?
Good faith, now, shee do's blame yo' extremely, and sayes
You swore, and told her, you had tane the paines,
To dye your beard, and vmbre o'er your face,
Borrowed a sute, and ruffe, all for her loue;
And then did nothing. What an ouer-sight,
And want of putting forward, sir, was this!
Well fare an old Hargubuzier, yet,
Could prime his poulder, and giue fire, and hit,
All in a twinckling.
Mam.
The whole nest are fled!
Mammon comes forth.
Lov.
What sort of birds were they?
Mam.
A kind of Choughes,
Or theeuish Dawes, sir, that haue pickt my purse
Of eight-score, and ten pounds, within these fiue weekes,
Beside my first materialls; and my goods,
That lye i' the cellar: which I am glad they ha' left.
675
Lov.
Thinke you so, sir?
Mam.
I.
Lov.
By order of law, sir, but not otherwise.
Mam.
Not mine owne stuffe?
Lov.
Sir, I can take no knowledge,
That they are yours, but by publique meanes.
If you can bring certificate, that you were gull'd of 'hem,
Or any formall writ, out of a court,
That you did cosen your selfe: I will not hold them.
Mam.
I'll rather loose 'hem.
Lov.
That you shall not, sir,
By me, in troth. Vpon these termes they' are yours.
What should they ha' beene, sir, turn'd into gold all?
Mam.
No.
I cannot tell. It may be they should. What then?
Lov.
What a great losse in hope haue you sustain'd?
Mam.
Not I, the common-wealth has.
Fac.
I, he would ha' built
The citie new; and made a ditch about it
Of siluer, should haue runne with creame from Hogsden:
That, euery sunday in More-fields, the younkers,
And tits, and tom-boyes should haue fed on, gratis.
Mam.
I will goe mount a turnep-cart, and preach
The end o'the world, within these two months. Svrly,
What! in a dreame?
Svr.
Must I needs cheat my selfe,
With that same foolish vice of honestie!
Come let vs goe, and harken out the rogues.
That Face I'll marke for mine, if ere I meet him.
Fac.
If I can heare of him, sir, I'll bring you word,
Vnto your lodging: for in troth, they were strangers
To me, I thought 'hem honest, as my selfe, sir.
Tri.
'Tis well, the Saints shall not loose all yet. Goe,
They come forth.
And get some carts—
Lov.
For what, my zealous friends?
Ana.
To beare away the portion of the righteous,
Out of this den of theeues.
Lov.
What is that portion?
Ana.
The goods, sometimes the Orphanes, that the Brethren,
Bought with their siluer pence.
Lov.
What, those i' the cellar,
The knight sir Mammon claimes?
Ana.
I doe defie
The wicked Mammon, so doe all the Brethren,
Thou prophane man. I aske thee, with what conscience
Thou canst aduance that Idol, against vs,
That haue the seale? Were not the shillings numbred,
That made the pounds? Were not the pounds told out,
Vpon the second day of the fourth weeke,
In the eight month, vpon the table dormant,
The yeere, of the last patience of the Saints,
Sixe hundred and ten.
Lov.
Mine earnest vehement botcher,
And Deacon also, I cannot dispute with you,
But, if you get you not away the sooner,
I shall confute you with a cudgell.
Ana.
Sir.
676
Be patient Ananias.
Ana.
I am strong,
And will stand vp, well girt, against an host,
That threaten Gad in exile.
Lov.
I shall send you
To Amsterdam, to your cellar.
Ana.
I will pray there,
Against thy house: may dogs defile thy walls,
And waspes, and hornets breed beneath thy roofe,
This seat of false-hood, and this caue of cos'nage.
Lov.
Another too?
Drv.
Not I sir, I am no Brother.
Drugger enters, and he beats him away.
Lov.
Away you Harry Nicholas, doe you talke?
To the Parson.
Fac.
No, this was Abel Drvgger. Good sir, goe,
And satisfie him; tell him, all is done:
He stay'd too long a washing of his face.
The Doctor, he shall heare of him at Westchester;
And of the Captayne, tell him at Yarmouth: or
Some good port-towne else, lying for a winde.
If you get off the angrie Child, now, sir—
To his sister.
Kas.
Come on, you yew, you haue match'd most sweetly, ha' you not?
Did not I say, I would neuer ha' you tupt
But by a dub'd Boy, to make you a lady-Tom?
'Slight, you are a mammet! O, I could touse you, now.
Death, mun' you marry with a poxe?
Lov.
You lie, Boy;
As sound as you: and I am afore-hand with you.
Kas.
Anone?
Lov.
Come, will you quarrell? I will feize you, sirrah.
Why doe you not buckle to your tooles?
Kas.
Gods light!
This is a fine old Boy, as ere I saw!
Lov.
What, doe you change your copy, now? Proceed,
Here stands my doue: stoupe at her, if you dare.
Kas.
'Slight I must loue him! I cannot choose, i-faith!
And I should be hang'd for't. Suster, I protest,
I honor thee, for this match.
Lov.
O, doe you so, sir?
Kas.
Yes, and thou canst take tabacco, and drinke, old Boy,
I'll giue her fiue hundred pound more, to her marriage,
Then her owne state.
Lov.
Fill a pipe-full, Ieremie.
Fac.
Yes, but goe in, and take it, sir.
Lov.
We will.
I will be rul'd by thee in any thing, Ieremie.
Kas.
'Slight, thou art not hide-bound! thou art a Iouy 'Boy!
Come let's in, I pray thee, and take our whiffes.
Lov.
Whiffe in with your sister, brother Boy. That master
That had receiu'd such happinesse by a seruant,
In such a widdow, and with so much wealth,
Were very vngratefull, if he would not be
A little indulgent to that seruants wit,
And helpe his fortune, though with some small straine
Of his owne candor. Therefore, gentlemen,
And kind Spectators, if I haue out-stript
677
What a yong wife, and a good braine may doe:
Stretch ages truth sometimes, and crack it too.
Speake for thy selfe, knaue.
Fac.
So I will, sir. Gentlemen,
My part a little fell in this last Scene,
Yet 'twas decorum. And though I am cleane
Got off, from Svbtle, Svrly, Mammon, Dol,
Hot Ananias, Dapper, Drvgger, all
With whom I traded; yet I put my selfe
On you, that are my countrey: and this pelfe,
Which I haue got, if you doe quit me, rests
To feast you often, and inuite new ghests.
THE END.
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