 | A Tale of a Tub |  |
Scene V.
To them.D. Turfe. Maids.
D. Turfe.
How now? what noise is this with you, Ball Puppy?
Pup.
Oh Dame! And fellowes o'the Kitchin! Arme,
Arme, for my safety; if you love your Ball:
Here is a strange thing, call'd a Lady, a Mad-dame:
And a device of hers, yclept her woman;
Have plotted on me, in the Kings high-way,
To steale me from my selfe, and cut me in halfes,
To make one Valentine to serve 'hem both;
This for my right-side, that my left-hand love.
D. Tur.
So sawcy, Puppy? to use no more reverence
Vnto my Lady, and her velvet Gowne?
Lad.
Turfe's wife, rebuke him not: Your man doth please me
With his conceit. Hold: there are ten old nobles,
To make thee merrier yet, halfe-Valentine.
Pup.
I thanke you right-side: could my left as much,
'Twould make me a man of marke: young Hanniball!
Lad.
Dido, shall make that good; or I will for her.
Here Dido Wispe, there's for your Hanniball:
He is your Countrey-man, as well as Valentine.
Wis.
Here Mr. Hanniball: my Ladies bounty
For her poore woman, Wispe.
Pup.
Brave Carthage Queene!
And such was Dido: I will ever be
Champion to her, who Iuno is to thee.
D. Tur.
Your Ladiship is very welcome here.
Please you, good Madam, to goe nere the house.
Lad.
Turfe's wife, I come thus farre to seeke thy husband,
Having some busines to impart unto him.
Is he at home?
D. Tur.
O no, and't shall please you:
He is posted hence to Pancridge with a witnesse.
Young Justice Bramble has kept levell coyle
Here in our Quarters, stole away our Daughter,
And Mr. Turfe's run after, as he can,
85
Pol.
Madam, these tydings are not much amisse!
For if the Justice have the Maid in keepe,
You need not feare the mariage of your sonne.
Lad.
That somewhat easeth my suspitious brest.
Tell me, Turfe's wife, when was my sonne with Awdrey?
How long is't, since you saw him at your house?
Pup.
Dame, let me take this rump out of your mouth.
D. Tur.
What meane you by that Sir?
Pup.
Rumpe, and taile's all one.
But I would use a reverence for my Lady:
I would not zay surreverence, the tale
Out o' your mouth, but rather take the rumpe.
D. Tur.
A well bred youth! and vull of favour you are:
Pup.
What might they zay, when I were gone, if I
Not weigh'd my wordz? This Puppy is a voole!
Great Hanniball's an Asse; he had no breeding:
No Lady gay, you shall not zay,
That your Val. Puppy, was so unlucky,
In speech to faile, as t'name a taile,
Be as be may be, 'vore a faire Lady.
Lad.
Leave jesting, tell us, when you saw our sonne.
Pup.
Marry, it is two houres agoe.
Lad.
Sin' you saw him?
Pup.
You might have seene him too, if you had look'd up.
For it shind, as bright as day.
Lad.
Meane my sonne.
Pup.
Your sunne, and our sunne are they not all one?
Lad.
Foole, thou mistak'st; I ask'd thee, for my sonne.
Pup.
I had thought there had beene no more sunnes, then one.
I know not what you Ladies have, or may have.
Pol.
Did'st thou nere heare, my Lady had a sonne?
Pup.
She may have twenty; but for a sonne, unlesse
She meane precisely, Squire Tub, her zonne,
He was here now; and brought my Mr. word
That Justice Bramble had got Mrs. Awdrey.
But whither he be gone, here's none can tell.
Lad.
Marten, I wonder at this strange discourse:
The foole it seemes tels true; my sonne the Squire
Was doubtlesse here this morning. For the match,
Ile smother what I thinke, and staying here,
Attend the sequell of this strange beginning,
Turfe's wife; my people, and I will trouble thee:
Vntill we heare some tidings of thy husband.
The rather, for my partie Valentine.
| A Tale of a Tub | |