Camaralzaman And Badoura ; Or, The Peri Who Loved The Prince An Extravagant Arabian Night's Entertainment, In Two Acts |
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 | Camaralzaman And Badoura ; Or, The Peri Who Loved The Prince |  |
Scene II.
—Camaralzaman's Sitting-room, an Eastern apartment of great splendour, with the various appurtenances of a modern fast man's pursuits strewed about; foils, boxing-gloves, portraits of ballet-dancers, race-horses, statuettes, &c.—The moonlight seen through an opening at the back, a lamp burning. —Camaralzaman enters, R.; reclines lazily on a couch.Cam.
'Tis now the very witching time of night,
Which, were I free, would bring with it delight;
Now could I drink hot grog, hear comic songs,
Or join the gay Casino's gladsome throngs,
Or drain, 'midst buzzing sounds of mirth and chaff,
The foaming stout, or genial half-and-half;
But here a prisoner condemned to stop,
I can indulge in neither malt nor “hop.”
Oh, cruel Pa'! to place me in this state,
Because I would avoid your own sad fate.
Dear mother, though a model of a wife,
Gave me a slight distaste for married life.
[Shudders.
Better be thus than free, and have to stand
“An eye like Ma's, to threaten and command.”
SONG.Which, were I free, would bring with it delight;
Now could I drink hot grog, hear comic songs,
Or join the gay Casino's gladsome throngs,
Or drain, 'midst buzzing sounds of mirth and chaff,
The foaming stout, or genial half-and-half;
But here a prisoner condemned to stop,
I can indulge in neither malt nor “hop.”
Oh, cruel Pa'! to place me in this state,
Because I would avoid your own sad fate.
Dear mother, though a model of a wife,
Gave me a slight distaste for married life.
[Shudders.
Better be thus than free, and have to stand
“An eye like Ma's, to threaten and command.”
Tune—“The Pope he leads,” &c.
The Pope he leads a happy life
Because he hasn't got a wife,
And one to take he's not so flat,
He knows a trick worth two of that.
No shrill abuse his ear affrights
For stopping out too late at nights;
No curtain lectures damp his hopes;
A happy lot must be the Pope's.
The Pope he leads a happy life
Because he hasn't got a wife,
And one to take he's not so flat,
He knows a trick worth two of that.
No shrill abuse his ear affrights
For stopping out too late at nights;
No curtain lectures damp his hopes;
A happy lot must be the Pope's.
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Though, poor old Pope! if all we hear be true,
There's little need, just now, to envy you.
What shall I do to pass the time away?
I'd go to bed, but I've been there all day.
Oh! here's last Tuesday's Khaledan Gazette,
I've only read it fifteen times, as yet.
[Takes up paper, and lolls on the couch, commences reading.
Holloa! I feel a sudden wish for dozing,
My eyelids agitate for early closing!
[Drowsily.
I s'pose this parliamentary debate
Acts as an instantaneous opiate.
It's very odd—a strange—queer—drowsy—feeling,
A sort of still—so—gently—o'er—me—stealing.
There's little need, just now, to envy you.
What shall I do to pass the time away?
I'd go to bed, but I've been there all day.
Oh! here's last Tuesday's Khaledan Gazette,
I've only read it fifteen times, as yet.
[Takes up paper, and lolls on the couch, commences reading.
Holloa! I feel a sudden wish for dozing,
My eyelids agitate for early closing!
[Drowsily.
I s'pose this parliamentary debate
Acts as an instantaneous opiate.
It's very odd—a strange—queer—drowsy—feeling,
A sort of still—so—gently—o'er—me—stealing.
[Music—“Oh! slumber, my darling,” very slowly. He sleeps.
Enter Maimoune, through wall, R.
Mai.
What a convenience is this free admission
We fairies have, to ev'ry exhibition!
Where'er we please, uncharg'd, we find our way to;
Even cathedrals, they can't make us pay to.
(Looking at Camaralzaman.)
I've sent him off. What smiles his slumbers sweeten!
And there's a brow—it couldn't be brow-beaten.
With such a love as that, who could be harsh?
I wonder how he'd look with a moustache—
He's got none yet; though, thanks to sorrow's growth,
He feels a little down about the mouth.
Talking of mouths, I've of a custom heard
Called, let me see—ah! kissing—that's the word—
[Approaching Camaralzaman.
I'm told it's wrong! but where can be the crime?
[She is just about to kiss him, when Danasch appears, L. suddenly through the wall opposite, and coughs.
Arn't you a little bit before your time?
[Slightly disconcerted.
And where's the Princess? why have you not brought her?
Dan.
(with dignity.)
Would you degrade me, ma'am, from Djinn to Porter?
She's coming; I've consigned her to the cares
Of a concern in which I hold some shares—
An underground conveyance company—
I've told them the address, she's here, you see!
[El Bogi rises, C., with Badoura in his arms asleep, and veiled.
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[El Bogi carries Badoura to the couch, where Camaralzaman is sitting.
Steady, she's “China—right side up, with care;”
Next time we meet we'll settle for the fare.
[El Bogi bows and disappears through trap, R.
Mai.
So, that's your Chinese Exhibition, is it?
Dan.
Yes—so “step forward,” ma'am, it's worth a visit;
Just going to begin.
[Removes Badoura's veil.
Mai.
Um! not amiss;
But look upon this picture, and on this.
Dan.
(with the air of a connoisseur.)
Well! not so bad; the outline pretty bold,
The flesh tints good, the shadows rather cold.
Too much foreshort'ning, p'r'aps, about the nose,
And that left elbow seems to want repose—
There's merit in it, that I freely own,
[Camaralzaman snores suddenly.
But, altogether, I don't like the tone.
In fact, both pictures' beauties fairly weighed,
I must say mine throws yours into the shade.
Mai.
If so, its case is very much the same
As certain Vernon pictures I could name;
But I deny it. Now, with fairness view it—
Your picture beat that?—'tis n't framed to do it.
Dan.
Why, then, the wager's drawn, of course. Yet, stay;
To settle it, I've thought upon a way:
To wake 'em up in turns now, I propose,
And let that one which for the other shows
Most admiration, lose. D'ye like the notion?
Mai.
I don't object to seconding the motion.
Dan.
Well, then, here goes to put the plan in force;
Mind, we're invisible, you know.
Mai.
Of course.
[Danasch sings to Badoura.
Tune—“The Swiss Boy.”
Come, arouse thee, arouse thee!
A very nice boy
To receive your opinion doth stay;
But rapturous terms in his praise please don't use,
Or, a bet I'm engaged in, you'll cause me to lose.
Then arouse thee, arouse thee!
But please don't employ
Too much praise, or the stakes I must pay.
[Badoura wakes, and looks round her, amazed.
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What place is this? my eyes!
(rubbing them)
am I awake?
I must be; no—I'm not—it must be a mistake.
[Seeing Camaralzaman, screams slightly.
Heavens! what's that? it can't be—yes, it can—
I really do believe it is a man,—
[Rises, advances, goes angrily up to him, then runs back.
One of that sex I've sworn to crush and wreck, too;
[Looks at his face, and starts.
Really, I never! and I don't expect to—
A dreadful weakness seizes me; I'm poorly—
Yes—and it's something very serious, surely.
All my strong notions upon Woman's Mission
Seem leaving me. I'm in a sad condition;
My strength, my will, my resolution, fails me.
[Running up to Camaralzaman, and shaking him.
Here, sir, get up, and let me know what ails me.
[Shakes him.
Why, he won't wake; unmov'd he keeps his station.
Now, in this very trying situation,
With every sort of doubt my bosom wringing,
What can be so appropriate as singing?
SONG.am I awake?
I must be; no—I'm not—it must be a mistake.
[Seeing Camaralzaman, screams slightly.
Heavens! what's that? it can't be—yes, it can—
I really do believe it is a man,—
[Rises, advances, goes angrily up to him, then runs back.
One of that sex I've sworn to crush and wreck, too;
[Looks at his face, and starts.
Really, I never! and I don't expect to—
A dreadful weakness seizes me; I'm poorly—
Yes—and it's something very serious, surely.
All my strong notions upon Woman's Mission
Seem leaving me. I'm in a sad condition;
My strength, my will, my resolution, fails me.
[Running up to Camaralzaman, and shaking him.
Here, sir, get up, and let me know what ails me.
[Shakes him.
Why, he won't wake; unmov'd he keeps his station.
Now, in this very trying situation,
With every sort of doubt my bosom wringing,
What can be so appropriate as singing?
Tune—“The Jolly Young Waterman.”
I really ne'er saw so delightful a sort of man,
All my political notions so high,
His charms have upset with uncommon celerity,
Winning my heart and delighting my eye.
I really ne'er saw so delightful a sort of man,
All my political notions so high,
His charms have upset with uncommon celerity,
Winning my heart and delighting my eye.
If he'd wake and propose, without feeling much sorrow,
I'd wed him to-night, before to-morrow;
But for loving or liking he don't seem to care,
Or he wouldn't lie snoozing and slumbering there.
I'd wed him to-night, before to-morrow;
But for loving or liking he don't seem to care,
Or he wouldn't lie snoozing and slumbering there.
Dan.
She's said enough—perchance, a little more;
Oblige me, ma'am, by sleeping as before.
[Makes mesmeric passes before Badoura's face. She drops asleep beside Camaralzaman.
Mai.
Now, own your China ornament outdone,
By spicy Araby's most spicy son;
When that son rises, no admiring tones
Like hers you'll hear.
[Taps Camaralzaman, playfully, with her wand.
Get up, a lazy-bones!
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Tune—“Isabelle.”
Wake, dearest, wake! by me invited,
You'll see what you will see;
But, by the spectacle highly delighted,
I really don't think you will be.
Here's a belle, here's a belle, here's a belle,
That we want you to get up and gaze on;
Please to tell, please to tell, please to tell,
If you think her worth heaping much praise on.
Tumble up.
Wake, dearest, wake! by me invited,
You'll see what you will see;
But, by the spectacle highly delighted,
I really don't think you will be.
Here's a belle, here's a belle, here's a belle,
That we want you to get up and gaze on;
Please to tell, please to tell, please to tell,
If you think her worth heaping much praise on.
Tumble up.
Cam.
(starting up.)
Give me another chop! cut off the fat
Look sharp, there, waiter. Soft! what am I at?
Another dream of bliss like that I'll seek.
[Yawns; and, in doing so, he touches Badoura's cheek with his hand; he looks up, astonished.
What do I touch? now, if that is n't cheek?
Am I awake? a woman in this place!
[Rubs his eyes.
Yet, stay, just now I slapped her in the face,
And, though with rage against the sex I swell,
I ought to kiss the place to make it well.
[Kisses her.
I think the blow I gave was rather rough,
And one kiss, p'r'aps, will scarcely be enough:
I'll try some more.
[Kisses her again.
Now, wake; I wish you would
Get up, and tell me if it's done you good.
[Shakes her.
That shaking on her no impression makes,
[Shakes her again.
And I can't wake her in a brace of shakes.
Miss What's-your-name, come, please wake up, do try;
She can't wake; she's bewitched, and—
[Stopping a little, and looking at her.
So am I.
My anti-marriage vows away I fling,
And stand, henceforth, a champion of the ring.
I would propose, did not her silence stop one,
And let this sudden visit prove a “pop” one.
SONG.Look sharp, there, waiter. Soft! what am I at?
Another dream of bliss like that I'll seek.
[Yawns; and, in doing so, he touches Badoura's cheek with his hand; he looks up, astonished.
What do I touch? now, if that is n't cheek?
Am I awake? a woman in this place!
[Rubs his eyes.
Yet, stay, just now I slapped her in the face,
And, though with rage against the sex I swell,
I ought to kiss the place to make it well.
[Kisses her.
I think the blow I gave was rather rough,
And one kiss, p'r'aps, will scarcely be enough:
I'll try some more.
[Kisses her again.
Now, wake; I wish you would
Get up, and tell me if it's done you good.
[Shakes her.
That shaking on her no impression makes,
[Shakes her again.
And I can't wake her in a brace of shakes.
Miss What's-your-name, come, please wake up, do try;
She can't wake; she's bewitched, and—
[Stopping a little, and looking at her.
So am I.
My anti-marriage vows away I fling,
And stand, henceforth, a champion of the ring.
I would propose, did not her silence stop one,
And let this sudden visit prove a “pop” one.
Tune—“Young Agnes,” (Fra Diavolo.)
Young lady, beauteous flower,
Sweet as blooming May,
Shake off sleep's drowsy power,
And hear me say my say:
I'm rich, and I'm well to do,
I'm handsome, young, and tall,
I want to propose to you,
If you'll but wake, that's all.
So, wake, my fairest flower,
Dost thou not hear Love's call?
[Sitting by Badoura, and taking her hand.
Young lady, beauteous flower,
Sweet as blooming May,
Shake off sleep's drowsy power,
And hear me say my say:
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I'm handsome, young, and tall,
I want to propose to you,
If you'll but wake, that's all.
So, wake, my fairest flower,
Dost thou not hear Love's call?
Do, please, awake! what power thus silent keeps her?
Mai.
(aside.)
I'm getting very angry. Go to sleep, sir.
[Hits Camaralzaman a sharp blow on the head, with her wand. He drops off asleep, immediately.
Dan.
(aside.)
The Peri colours up like a geranium,
Queer thoughts are brooding in her Peri-cranium.
Mai.
Now, but that I'm a spirit, I should say,
That I was going to cry or faint away;
And were such things worn by the Peri race,
I'd beg of somebody to cut my lace.
But this is weak! how could I ever waste
A thought on one so destitute of taste?
SONG.
Tune—“Carry me back to Ole Varginny.”
[Mai.]
Oh! if a grain of taste he had,
He'd never choose her for a wife;
I never felt anything like so mad
In all my Peri life;
She's coarse, she's old, she squints, she's skinny,
But let me see her no more!
(To Danasch.)
Oh! carry her back, you stupid ninny,
Away to China's shore.
Chorus. [Together.]
Mai.
Oh! carry her back, you stupid ninny,
And let me see her no more.
Dan.
I'll carry her back; but stupid ninny
I won't be called any more.
[At the conclusion of the Chorus, Maimoune strikes her hand fiercely against the wall, and disappears through it “in a huff.”
[Dan.]
A stuck-up minx! as arrogant as crusty,
Treating me here like dirt—I'm none so dusty—
Like a mere servant, ordering me about;
Egad! I'll serve her—that is, serve her out.
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[Cock crows.
Yes, and the “early bird,” I do declare,
Already on the ground begins to scrub,
For picking up the worm which forms his grub;
I must be off now, by your leave, my dear—
[Takes Badoura on his arm.
To quote an ancient saw, “you don't lodge here.”
[Sinks with her.
| Camaralzaman And Badoura ; Or, The Peri Who Loved The Prince | |