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A Heroic Poem. In four cantos [by Thomas Pringle]

Pringle, Thomas (1789-1834)

II.

III.

IV.

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An ancient Bard hath soothly sung
Of mice from labouring mountains sprung,
But We have stranger facts to count on—
Our modern Mouse brings forth a Mountain!

TO THE LEARNED AND ILLUSTRIOUS, THE COUNCIL OF THE EDINBURGH INSTITUTE, THE FOLLOWING POEM IS HUMBLY INSCRIBED, BY THEIR MOST PROFOUND, AND DEVOTED ADMIRER, THE AUTHOR.

Edinburgh, 5th March, 1811.

THE INSTITUTE.

CANTO I.

Cedite Romani Scriptores, cedite Graii.
PROPERT.

Causa latet, vis est notissima. ------
OVID.

------ Discors concordia foetibus apta est.
ID.

ARGUMENT.

The subject proposed.—Invocation.—Long despotic sway of Error, Ignorance, &c. over the regions of the Earth; and particularly this devoted Land.—Unexpected return of the Golden Age, with Civilization and Science.—Address to Philosophy, invoking her assistance to explain the Phenomenon.—The narrative then commences ‘ab ovo:’—Edinburgh: its desolate state: tutelary Genius:—divers of its Philosophers, and their vain endeavours to introduce a better order of things.—A happy Omen: The P---m---c Society:—their melancholy condition:— wonderful Illumination, and Metamorphosis:—first movements, and appearance in what may be termed their Nympha state of existence:—Anticipations of future Glory.

Now mighty Homer's long despotic sway,
And all the thunders of his song decay;
Sable with dust, he holds some shelf on high,
Mid moth-worn monkish tomes unseen to lie:
Now Virgil waves his silver Wand in vain,
His Magic Power shall not return again;

The youth, from deep enchantment of his page
Start up—while slow he creeps to cobweb hermitage:
And Milton, poet of the Worlds Unknown,
Now truly lies forgotten and alone;
His lofty Visions meet no wond'ring eye,
But far through Limbo drear for ever fly:
For, lo! I rise to wake a loftier strain—
No Bullies blust'ring on the Trojan plain,
No love-lorn Dido cursing faithless man,
No Demons wrangling in their dark divan;
Far be from me such unpoetic Themes,
Such vulgar visions mix not with my dreams;—
Give place to me, ye Minstrel Race of yore,
I sing the wondrous Prodigy of Lore!
I sing the Institute, in rapid rhyme,
Its monstrous Birth, and giant Growth sublime!

And Thou, O Muse, whose never sleeping eye
Bends on the poet, from thy Mount on high,
Command a Polar Star to guide my way,
With faithful course, and ever-burning ray;
While things unheard of yet in verse or prose,
With vent'rous step, I hasten to disclose.

Long time had Genius slumber'd in his den,
And Science fled from every haunt of men,
Grim Ignorance, his ebon-tinctured robe
Flung o'er each region of the peopled globe:—
But chief where Scotia's rugged hills arise,
With heathy summits to the icy skies;
There moody Error held his iron reign,
And rampant Passion boil'd in every vein;
All, all appeared a wild and moral void,
No love was felt—no happiness enjoy'd;

Even Hope, her heaven-ward wing had stretch'd for flight,
And fiercely howl'd the grisly Fiends of night!

But lo! at once, like lightning thro' the gloom.
Philosophy emerges from her tomb;
Truth spreads around her pure resistless ray;
Saturnian Ages rise again to Day;
The Veil that hid the Universe so fair,
Or only gave an image of despair,
Now in a thousand tatters sunder torn,
Unfolds the Spheres in radiant beauty borne;
The uncouth, savage Signs of human Thought,
No longer burst in discord from the throat,
But mouths rotund , and tongues of silver sound,
Pour Elocution's oily streams around;

The dark arcana of Alchemic search,
Sprout fresh and fair, as bark of silver birch;
Law rises bright, as Venus from the Brine,
And binds blood-thirsty hordes in Zone of love divine.

Come! Philosophic Spirit, wake, explore
The secret causes of such general Lore;
For thy etherial eye can clearly see,
What powers unseen bring forth the things that be.

High, in this proud Metropolis of our land,
The demon Error fix'd his firmest stand:
Alas! Dunedin's ancient, regal name,
For matchless ignorance was known to fame.

Her Genius long, in silence, wander'd o'er
The sandy beach of Fortha's murmuring shore;
Mid gloomy shades of Heroes once renown'd,
He groaning traced his melancholy round.—

Though Ferguson, with angel ken, could scan
The laws of Nature, and the powers of Man;
His magic eloquence no charm possess'd
To move those hearts, like ocean rocks at rest;
And Stewart, too, the Statesman and the Sage,
The Amaranth of every coming age,
With all the energy his thoughts express,
Could not the arm of Error's power repress.—
In vain their eagle eyes, with stedfast glance,
Thro' media dim to Nature's depths advance;
In vain their moral maxims meet the ear,
No maxims move the wretch who will not hear;

Gregorian thunders repercuss in vain;
Like dying swan, poor Rhetoric wakes his strain;
Playfair perambulates the starry Zone,
And lists harmonious Spheres unheeded and alone;
And many another deep and learned Sage,
Pines unrequited by a thankless age.

Edina's Genius wept and wander'd yet,
Nor dared to prophecy a happier fate;
When lo! an Omen to his wat'ry eyes,
With meteor gleam, foretold new destinies;
It seemed to rise with gradual progress bright,
And scared old Error, and his Fiends of night.

There is within old Alma Mater's dome,
(In olden times Dame Learning's fav'rite home)
A snug apartment, thirteen feet by eight,
O'er-canopied with mossy-mantled slate:

Here crazy seats around the walls extend,
And tatter'd mats the well-worn floor defend;
Its cushion'd rostrum, too, had once been green,
And dirt and dullness sanctify the scene;
Here bugs from time unknown a fortress held,
And many a tribe of Orators expell'd;
Here cobweb tap'stry o'er the dusky wall,
Waves black and dismal, like a sable pall;
And seldom-lighted lamps, with sickly glow,
“O'er the dun gloom, a dreadful glimm'ring throw!”

Within the covert of this foul retreat,
A secret Junto oft were wont to meet,
By peril long, and tribulation prov'd,
And P---m---c was the name they lov'd;
Thus erst a hundred Seers lay safe encag'd,
When crafty Jezebel through Israel rag'd:

But now, nor ancient Hall nor gloomy Cave,
From hostile ken, could Learning's Lovers save!
Alas! grim Error, in his prowling round,
In their last hold, Dame Learning's children found!
O'er them he lov'd, with vulture wing to brood,
And breathe his hell-born venom through their blood;
Till ---'s voice nor ---'s honoured name,
The uproar wild of warring tongues could tame,
Nor from absurd pursuits their goatish minds reclaim.
As wasps or spiders, in a bottle pent,
In mutual strife will give their fury vent;
So these in discord dire their brethren tore,
And stain'd their fangs with fratricidal gore.—

But miracles oft sport with Nature's laws,
And Facts occur without an obvious Cause:
A wondrous change ensues—(mark, and admire!)
Somehow ignited by ethereal fire,

These Phœnix-Seers, illumin'd, purg'd, refin'd,
Arise to renovate the Human Kind!—
But time would fail me, language too would fail,
This mystic metamorphose to detail—
To tell how civil strife and earthly ire,
With hissing sound, and sulph'rous stench expire;
How first from philosophic trance they wake,
Like Milton's Demons from the burning Lake;
How their tongues stammer!—how their eye-balls roll!—
How star-born Science sublimates each soul!—
Nor did they not perceive their happier plight,
Nor look'd unconscious of celestial light;
Each quondam Dunce felt now so flush'd and full,
With brains unwonted scheming in his scull.—

O tell me, Ye, by sweet experience taught,
How empty heads with sudden Sense were fraught?

How those grew clever, who were dull before?
How bashful Blockheads rose to blush no more?
Explain what magic means, what mystic rules,
Evolv'd Philosophers from squabbling Fools?
For Facts alone I sing—The Causes strange
Ye best can tell, who feel the blissful change.—

Now, quick as mushrooms in a dewy night,
Statesmen, Œconomists, arise upright;
Astronomers, with sapient prying glance,
Dart their keen eyeballs o'er the blue Expanse;
Now, Moralists, and Poets, and Divines,
Of future greatness give expressive signs;
Opticians, Chymists, and Belles-Lettres men,
Shoot up as thick as rushes in a fen;
Long-winded Lawyers, leering, sly, alert,
And rusty-nosed Logicians—all upstart!—

As Warriors once from Serpent Teeth upsprung,
As Gallia's Chiefs start from the vulgar throng,
As insect Swarms from wriggling maggots rise,
To sip the balmy breath of summer skies;
So these from elemental meanness came,
To seize the honours of immortal Fame!

At first—(O listen, thou, whose ardent soul
Sees forms of everlasting grandeur roll,
Yet art afraid to hope of better days,
Or prophecy of unpolluted praise—
This Tale will teach thee, that no chains may bind,
No barrier bound a star-illumin'd Mind!)
At first, like modest Bard who doubts his powers,
They gave not to the World their studious hours,
But squander'd these new Energies so great,
In lowly Conversations, tête a tête.

Yet 'twas a wondrous ravishment to hear
Their deep discussion, and their tones severe;
When, inly thrill'd, each rav'd like Northern Scald
With frost-bit nose, and wrinkled forehead bald.

Edina's Genius, viewing from afar,
Hail'd the glad Sign, and bless'd the rising Star.

What spell shall bind the dragon in his den?
Or from illumin'd Sage withhold the pen?
Shall timid maid the rampant tiger tame?
Or Modesty the man who thirsts for fame?—
No, no,—a lasting being must be given
To thoughts and plans cast in the mould of Heaven!
Such visions fair as float athwart their mind,
Must soon some ever-during Semblance find—
Must soon to Europe's emulous Sçavants speak,
In form of Lecture, Essay, Sketch, Critique;

While high Dunedin, with attentive ear,
Shall list their lucubrations loud and clear,
Embalm their mem'ries, and their names revere.

One swore that sooner in an egg-shell ship,
He o'er the Red Sea's rapid waves would skip,
Than his unauthor'd being longer brook!—
Their joint acclaim the old Apartment shook;
As when in tavern dim, at midnight board,
A sly companion, by some witty word,
Wild merriment to tipplers will afford:
All ruff, and dance, and roar, and joyous pledge
To follow on to fame this merry Sage.

Ore rotundo.

When startled burghers fled afar
The furies of the Border war;
When the streets of high Dunedin
Saw lances gleam, and faulchions redden,
And heard the slogan's deadly yell ------

LAY OF THE LAST MINSTREL.

CANTO II.

Igneus est illis vigor, et cœlestis origo
Seminibus.
VIRG.

------ Quærenda pecunia primum,
Virtus post nummos.
HOR.

------ Alterius sic
Altera poscit opem res, et conjurat amice.
HOR.

ARGUMENT.

Ardour and unanimity of this Philosophic Conclave.—Address to the Critics.—Preparatory Lectures:—---— Statistics:—---—Philology:—---—History: —---—Civil Law:—---—Astronomy, &c. &c.—The want of Philosophical Apparatus grievously obstructs their schemes of Glory and Utility:—--- rises and unfolds the plan of an Institute, whereby the Sages shall be enabled to emerge from Obscurity, and the People, by “Contributions,” assist in their own Illumination:—He is gratefully applauded by his Brethren, and anointed by order of the Genius.—A moral reflection.

Now, let me wake again the Epic song,
And paint the progress of th'illumin'd throng:—
How each in his peculiar path of thought,
With burning breast for proud distinction sought:
All—like a hive of bees, or pismire croud,
Who under moss their secret stores enshroud,

Whilst each is moved by some instinctive zeal,
Restless to labour for the common weal.

Ye candid Sages at the Critic Helm,
Shall dark Oblivion's wave such Names o'erwhelm?
Shall I not boldly tell, without a blush,
Who to the fields of Science first did rush,
To cull the flowers, to cut the branches down,
That fruits of Knowledge might become their own?
Who wielded Wisdom's axe, with happiest skill,
Strong as Norwegian woodman on his hill?—
Ye Sages, do not blame my burning zeal,
I dare not truth through modesty conceal;
He were a guilty Bard, who would not sing
Those Men, who Science from high Heaven bring.

First comes, with visage palpably obscure,
A man of solemn gait, and look demure;

Who, with shrewd argument, acute and wise,
Statistic studies keenly doth advise:—
A second Sinclair—more profoundly great,
Than even that weighty Genius of our State:—
'Tis Great *‘---!—elsewhere, who shall find
A head like his, enlighten'd, clear'd, refin'd?—
Who can like him, with observation deep,
Through Village Modes, and Local Manners peep?
Teach the true plan of rearing Ducks and Geese,
Or count the profits of the Golden Fleece?

Near the old Cross, where weekly markets meet,
And hungry shops stand gaping to the street,
Sits an illumin'd clerk, of thoughtful face,
Another Benefactor of our race,
With brazen firmness, on his shoulders stands
A head—the beacon of benighted lands!—

Already round his ears the laurel bloom'd,
And, perch'd “upon his crest, sat Science plum'd.”

This learned Man, with scientific stare,
Bends his keen glance to subjects deep and rare;
He burns to wrestle in the Purley game,
And win from Tooke a Philologic fame:—
See, how he puffs like Gilpin on his horse,
And rampant rides his Metaphysic course!
If ye have heard the bagpipe's dying tones,
Snuffling and squeaking thro' its broken drones,
You've heard *‘---, while he proudly strove
To earn the fame of Metaphysic Jove.

Next comes a little, tiny elfin form,
Like Ariel skipping in the Wizard Storm,
Or Indian humming-bird, whose viewless wing
Can waft it wanton through a lady's ring:—

But as a diamond spark from Hindostan,
For mighty rocks may yield a valued pawn;
Or, as a herring from the Northern deep,
Out runs the Behemoth by nimbler sweep;
So may this little Man, with surer aim,
Arrive at posthumous, and present fame,
Than Sons of Anak, of majestic length,
Proud of their size, and glorying in their strength.

Oh, well he knew the human soul to steep
In stream of oratory, clear and deep;
Around the Chair his rapt companions hung,
While honied periods trickled from his tongue;
While he, in chaste didactic lecture, told
What facts the deep historian should unfold;
What uses universal story brought
To public action, and to private thought;

What secret motives might be brought to light;
What dark transactions usher'd from the night.
Not ev'n great Robertson can time beguile,
With sweeter strains of flowing Attic style;
When, o'er the scene where hapless Mary bled,
He mourns the ashes of the injur'd Dead;
When, stern, he paints the Monarch in his cave,
And bids him requiems to his conscience rave;
Or, when to St. Domingo's fairy shore,
He leads Columbus on his prosperous oar.

Then sapient --- reads:—A general hush
Stills every whisper, while he strives to push
With scientific horn—like wary snail,
Who feels his path before he drags his tail;
With slow and slimy march, he glides along,
And lists the plaudits of the admiring throng;

Wise as a serpent—wily as a fox—
He ne'er was held by Reason's bars nor locks;
Alike he scorn'd his theories to fence,
With solid Argument, or common Sense,
But lov'd through mazy Labyrinths to wind,
And leave his hearers' wilder'd wits behind.

As legends tell, upon a certain day,
An Ass was heard most wistfully to bray,
When a fierce War-horse proudly ambled by,
And caught the keen ambition of his eye;
He sigh'd for strength, for beauty, and renown,
While in a pool he saw himself a clown:—
Not so sigh'd ---—conscious of his might,
He burn'd to mingle in Forensic fight ,

And make the Dialectic squadrons reel,
With thunder of his throat, with fury of his heel!

Though “last not least,” illustrious --- comes,
Some Fluxion calculation (hark!) he hums;
A deep and learned Sage—of thought abstruse—
Sharp as the horns of the Hypotenuse:—
His eyes like planets in a frosty night,
Blaze o'er the Vault with pure Phosphoric light;
His locks in easy ringlets o'er his brow,
Like tails of comets, wavingly do flow.
Of Starry Physics he does ably treat,
And oft, in moon-born phrenzy, from his seat
He wildly starts—and grasps at Spheric lore,
In rapturous vision never seen before.
And see, eclipsed by him, great Newton's name
Receding gradual from the sphere of fame;—

Like Cynthia sinking o'er a distant hill,
The reverend form grows faint and fainter still—
'Tis lost!—and Future Times shall ne'er behold
Our fathers' idol in the Days of Old;
But --- they shall see, whose purer ray
Shall chace the Fiends of darkness far away;
Yea, when his ashes fill the “storied urn,”
Bright as a polar star his fame shall ever burn!—

So these Illuminators of Mankind,
With other Sages in firm league combin'd,
(Whose lucubrations, sweet as honied mead,
I may not now detail for sake of speed)—
Their philosophic Forum having pitched,
By intellectual barter were enriched.—

But shall they traffic only 'mong themselves,
And secret lurk like lonely wizard Elves?

Shall Lights like these in hidden caverns shine,
And waste in murkey holes their flame divine?—
Ah me! though bent on philosophic note,
In vain for Public Lectureships they vote;
Though stor'd with Learning, Science, Talents, Sense,
Alas! Alas! they were not stor'd with Pence!
“Woe worth the day!” for during life's sojourn,
From scientific depths they may return,
But come like maniacs from a phrenzied dream,
Unable to pourtray each mystic scheme:—
No Apparatus to embody Truth,
And sensify Philosophy to youth;
No Crucible, no Furnace, no Retort
Was theirs—nor Air-gun for a gas report:
The Still, th'Alembic, the Pneumatic Trough,
Where new-born Gases drop their earthly slough;

The Electric Tube, the light-dissecting Prism,
The Piles and Batteries of Galvanism,
The Concave Mirrors, Calorific Ball,
Scales, Globes, and Orrery—were wanting all!
And how, without an image to the eye,
Shall pure Abstraction, gliding from on high,
Be seen by intellects of vulgar mould,
To Imitation's servile habits sold?—

But lo! as hope expires, and spirits droop,
Immortal --- rises mid the group,
And opens to their view a mighty scheme
Of philosophic phantasies the Cream:—
“Ye sages, list to me—Approve my plan—
“And reign the lords of Nature, and of Man—
“Know your own grandeur—See around you roll'd
“Unceasing stores of Praise, and precious Gold!—

“Lend all your energies, and wits acute,
“And to Edina give an Institute!—
“Even now, I see each Draper in his shop,
“His ears for Science, and his jaws wide ope!
“The Artisan shall stop his jarring noise,
“To hark our sweet and overwhelming voice;
“The blundering Scribe, as o'er his parchment pale,
“He sees the shadow of his taper sail,
“Will think of Truth's and Wisdom's holy light,
“And scan the causes of the starless night:—
“—Our voice shall reach all these—lay down the rules,
“And rear up sages from a host of fools;
“While Contributions, free as April shower,
“Shall place the Universe within our power!”

He said:—And straight arose a marvellous noise—
Wonder and gratulation's mingled voice:—

Such was the sound, as when from long sojourn,
A figured flock of Soland-geese return,
Among their natal cliffs rejoiced to find
A Breeding-place so fitted to their mind;
When every ocean cavern wildly rings
With cackling Concert, and wide-flapping wings .—

Anon outburst from the exulting throng,
A lofty anthem pealing loud and long;
Of --- still their song triumphant spoke,
And reach'd the Genius on his Cloud of Smoke;
Well-pleas'd he heard, and bade his Minions pour
On ---'s head, a full and fragrant shower
Of genial ointment—strong as that which greets,
With early odour, high Dunedin's streets.—

O had some dark Philosopher, whose views
To human souls a social power refuse;
Who sees, with blasted eye, each bosom fraught
With low deceit, or fierce licentious thought,
And in each various character and face,
A varied villany can only trace;
(Like to those monstrous forms, grotesque and vain,
Seen thro' the medium of a fractur'd pane)—
O had he view'd this Group of learned Men,
When ---'s Scheme first open'd to their ken;
What unity of feeling was pourtray'd,
Which no unholy bosom can pervade;
His savage System, like a nightly owl,
That ends at cock-crow its accursed howl,
Had left to peace and joy his gladden'd soul!

Ad populum phaleras, ego te intus et in cute novi. PERSIUS.

The terror of his beak, the lightning of his eye. —GRAY.

Ceu quondam nivei liquida inter nubila cycni
Cum sese è pastu referunt, et longa canoros
Dant per colla modos: sonat amnis, et Asia longe
Pulsa palus.

VIRG.

CANTO III.

------ Cui mens divinior atque os
Magna sonaturum ------
HOR.

Nec sibi sed toti genitum se credere mundo.
LUCAN.

Hoc est quod palles? Cur quis non prandeat,
Hoc est?
PERSIUS.

Virtus, repulsæ nescia sordidæ,
Intaminatis fulget honoribus.
HOR.

ARGUMENT.

--- in the Chair.—He sends a deputation to implore the assistance of the two Father Sages.—The Delegates arrive at ---'s:—His grand and dignified deportment:—Their address to him; and his gracious answer.—They joyfully proceed to ---'s:—Description of the Sage in his Penetralia: —They hail him as their destined Leader:—He receives them most propitiously; but his too impetuous zeal is productive of a calamitous accident.—The scene changes to the Conclave:— Their prudent arrangements:—Their anxiety for the safety of the absent Brethren; from which they are at length relieved by their return with the two Chiefs; who having taken their seats on either hand of the Preses, embrace him as now worthy to be their Mate.—--- relates to the Conclave his strange mishap; which --- interprets as symbolical, and hails as a happy Omen.—--- then requests the Preses to explain how the Embryon Institute shall be ushered into luminous and active existence.—His sublime Apostrophe to the same.

Great --- mounts the Chair—of all the House
Rais'd to that height by vote unanimous;
He strikes the board to calm their clam'rous joy,
(Which lengthen'd might Philosophy destroy,)
And instant every cackling tongue was still
As the dead murmur of a frozen rill.—

“Let now,” he said, “an embassy be chosen
“Of blameless men, in number half-a dozen,
“To beg our Father Seers, of honour'd name,
“--- and ---, Seneschals of fame,
“That they vouchsafe to listen to our Cries,
“With our stupendous Labour sympathise,
“Aid the great Birth, and head the high Emprise.”

Then calls he out, by name, the select band,
And gives the rod of Office to their hand:
Incontinent, the obedient Members go
To hoary --- in a function'd row.—

The Sage was pacing, with a haughty stride,
The area of his Class-room long and wide;
Proudly he stamps like war-horse on his ground,
At fife's shrill note or bass-drum's dreadful sound;
His left hand grasp'd a book, his right was spread
In oratorial flourish o'er his head;

A train of Youths stood by with open'd book,
And ey'd the Sage with reverential look.
As Roman Senate felt the magic tones
Of Tully's voice thrill thro' their marrow-bones,
When he 'gainst Cataline and Verres stood,
And rear'd his form august in wrathful mood:
So ---'s voice his young disciples hear,
Ape his proud port, and gapingly revere.—

A while the Delegates, in awe profound,
Halt in the porch and list the well-known sound,
Then faltering enter—but with fear struck dumb,
Can scarcely tell the reason why they come;—
At length, encourag'd by his accents bland,
Thus spoke the learned Leader of the band:

“Great Sir,—this night the illumin'd Group have met,
“With ardent souls on future glory set,

“They plan to teach what ne'er was taught before,
“And sprinkle on the People general lore;
“Great are their powers,—but as gigantic Alps
“O'ershade the mountains, or a bear her whelps,—
“Even so our --- and our --- rise
“Amidst their brethren towering to the skies!
“We, as Ambassadors, are sent to plead
“For thy assistance in their pressing need;
“O, hearken then, with haste thyself bestir,
“And lend thy helping hand, illustrious Sir!”

Like some rapt player in dramatic prance,
Or Moorish monarch in a morrice dance,
Great --- leap'd, and toss'd his arms on high,
And rais'd his eye-balls upward to the sky:
He cried—(and trembled all the delegates)—
“Now, Goddess! open wide thy golden gates!

“My name shall flourish in immortal years;
“My voice shall dissipate their modest fears!
“Long ere Aurora usher in the morn,
“An Institute shall in our Town be born,
“And Phoebus, with his earliest beam, shall greet
“Our mighty Offspring on its hundred feet!
“To --- haste, O Friends; I'll join the band
“When I have shov'd these classes off my hand.”—

As Oyster Wives, disburden'd of their load,
Chant merrily along their home-ward road,
Till thy dark lanes, O Bonnington, resound,
And Jock's Lodge Barracks echo back the sound:
So these returning sages caroll'd wild,
While oft the passengers look'd back and smil'd,
And bless'd their jovial Bacchanalian souls—
Unwitting men!—Not over earthly bowls

Nor mortal toddy were the Seers carousing—
'Twas pure ethereal drink and intellectual bousing!

But now they enter ---'s outward porch—
A wondering watchman lights them with his torch.

In theological Recess they find
The hermit-sage, in easy-chair reclin'd,
'Mid musty volumes, old and orthodox,
By Luther, Calvin, Bucer, and John Knox;
Upon the page, with greedy glare, is bent
His eye, with many a midnight vigil spent;
For golden grain he grubs through hills of chaff,
And mingles foaming malt for marv'ling mobs to quaff.

As some dark lobster of the rocky deep
Into its peaceful crevice oft will creep,
And snugly lurk while monsters wander by,
So sat great --- in his Library.—

Upon the ink-stain'd table watchful sat,
In solemn whisker'd majesty—a cat;
A whining lap-dog, meagre, cold, and burnt,
Around the hearth in shivering circles turn'd;
An ancient damsel trimm'd the sleeping fire,
And smote the lap-dog in a vestal ire.—

When thus they saw the theologic sage,
Scarce could they secret merriment assuage;
But straight, with meeken'd look and earnest tone
And lowly bow, they make their errand known;
And hail'd him Chief by all their joyful votes—
Their Leader destin'd by Fate's whitest lots.

He looks—he hears—he smiles—he nods—he speaks—
Extatic raptures kindle on his cheeks!
As when the Attic Thunderer arose,
With voice of terror to his country's foes,

High on the rostrum, with wide-spreading arms,
Dauntless amidst innumerous alarms:
So ---,—and like torrent from the rock,
His answer in these gracious words outbroke:

“All hail! my brethren, sure some power divine
“Inspires your words—and I obey the sign.
“Rush then impetuous to the fields of fame,
“Led by my guidance, sanction'd by my name;
“I'll lend my hand to give the Mountain birth,
“And from its top illuminate the earth!”

He said:—and as with holy rage he burn'd
The ancient table with a kick o'erturn'd:
Grimalkin scream'd, and struck with sudden fear,
Leap'd on his crown, and clutch'd his sacred ear
With desperate claw:—The Dame her besom plied
To free her master—but (ah! doleful tide!)

The crafty cat eschew'd the impending woe—
Great ---'s nose was flatten'd by the blow!
O fatal hour! O gash of grief and shame!
O cursed cat! and most unhappy dame!—
I may not sing the rest—my flattering tongue—
Your feeling hearts—forbid it to be sung!

Meanwhile, great --- midst the Conclave sat,
And urg'd these mandates like the voice of Fate:
“While I myself compile our code of laws,
“Lend all talents, Sirs, to aid the cause:
“Let some the public prints industrious ply,
“By pithy paragraphs to catch the eye;
“With dole of flattery and crumbs of praise,
“The many-headed monster's ardour raise;

“Be some prepar'd all hostile imps t'oppose;
“Some canvass with the Ladies and the Beaux.”

In such appointments and arrangements wise,
Two hours had fled:—“O Friends,” then --- cries,
“I fear malignant Fiends or envious Fates
“Have wrought some mischief to our Delegates!
“And now approaches the eventful hour,
“To mingle mystic rites and words of power,—
“The solemn hour of twelve:—And, hark,—the chime
“Of high St. Giles slow numbers out the time!”

Hush'd was each voice—each member look'd aghast
With lengthen'd visage, and out-plucking fast
His watch—(if haply he that treasure own'd)—
Gaz'd on it wildly, put it up and groan'd!

Some spoke of sending, or in general rout
To seek the seers that all should issue out,
Nor brook suspense, more dreadful than despair;
But Oh! how joy o'er-flush'd the cheek of care,
When from afar they hear the mingled hum
Of learned tongues along the alley come.—

Then crowded in the band, and at their head
---—and he who in the cause had bled,
Illustrious ---—of high port erect;
Altho' his front with sable patch was deckt.

As when Great Lucifer, of deathless fame,
From Eden's ruin'd bowers exulting came,
‘Pride in his port, defiance in his eye,’
To sieze his throne in Pandemonium high;
Above his Principalities and Kings
High towering like a rock—(as Milton sings)—

So --- through the crowded conclave strode,
The rotten flooring trembled as he trode!
At ---'s better hand he mounts the desk;
High on the left sat --- on a cask.
Nor would they suffer --- to resign
The chair of State;—too generous to repine,
Each Sire embrac'd him with a hug sincere,
Anointed from on high to be their peer.—

Then --- rose; (for oft he saw they eyed,
With wondering look, his damag'd nasal pride)—
And, in pathetic speech, proceeds to tell
How such mishap unto his face befell;
How leap'd the cat; how gush'd the purple flood;
How Calvin's page was stain'd with filial blood;
“Yet still,” he adds, “'twill be my pride to smart
“For such a cause, in nose or nobler part.”—

“Spoke like thyself!”—cried ---—midst the sound
Of mingled grief and joy that rose around—
“All hail this sign, for as Minerva wore
“The Cock courageous on her helm of yore,
“So thee a Cat hath crown'd to mark, I guess,
“Thy Wisdom and peculiar Watchfulness.
“The symbol this: When our united might
“Hath heav'd the new-born Mountain into light,
“Thou proudly on its top shalt sit and purr,
“And scratch the face of every hostile cur,
“And worry every nibbling mouse and rat,
“And reign for aye our Tutelary Cat!
“That back to this posterity may look—
“Be it recorded in the Minute-book.”

“Well said!” Quoth --- then—“Agreed, agreed;”
“But now 'tis sitting we to work proceed:

“Say, noble ---, whom the stars inspire
“With loftier genius, more celestial fire;
“On whom propitiously our Genius showers
“Peculiar blessings from his lofty bowers;
“To thee the rolls of fate are all unfurl'd—
“Say how our Institute shall issue to the world.—

“O name of Science, deckt with flowers of hope,
“Brilliant as bubbles blown from foamy soap!
“Thou shalt be blest by many a wight forlorn,
“Thou shalt be hail'd by ages yet unborn!
“The Institutes of every earlier day
“Shall sink to native nothingness away;
“But thou the last, the greatest, and the best,
“Balloon-like rising to immortal rest,
“Shalt soar on wing of golden pinion'd time,
“Proudly secure, and loftily sublime!”

Quis cladem illius noctis, quis funera fando
Explicit; aut possit lacrymis æquare labores?

—VIRG.

CANTO IV.

Fervet avaritia, miseroque cupidine pectus?
Sunt verba et voces, quibus hunc lenire dolorem
Possis, et magnam morbi deponere partem.
HOR.

O fairest of creation, last and best—
------ Creature in whom excells
Whatever can to sight or thought be form'd,
Holy, divine, good, amiable, or sweet,
How art thou lost! ------
Authority and reason on her wait,
As one intended first, not after made
Occasionally. ------
MILTON.

O vitæ Philosophia dux, virtutis indagatrix!
CICERO.

ARGUMENT.

The Conclave being now fully assembled, --- as Preses proceeds to develope the whole of his stupendous Scheme.—He first proposes to arouse and illuminate the Mechanic, the Mercantile, and other tribes, who have hitherto been the peculiar votaries of Ignorance and Avarice:—He pathetically deplores the melancholy and illiterate fate of his fair Country Women; he calls upon the Sages to go forth for their emancipation from nursery and culinary bondage, and anticipates the happy effects to result from instructing them in Science and Philosophy:— And, finally, he details, in regular order, the various Arts and Sciences to be treated of in their Annual Course of Lectures.—The Brethren, after a profound pause of admiration, arise to celebrate the Institute's felicitous Birth in mystic Song:—The Genius joins in the chorus, and from the College roof pours far and wide the heavenly strain;—Its wonderful progress and effects described.—Reflections on the weakness and absurdity of all former Philosophical Systems, with the true theory of the Universe, and of the Literary World.—L'Envoi.

Now, from the chair the Preses silence broke—
Thrice clear'd his throat, and cough'd—then thus he spoke:
“Illustrious benefactors of mankind,
“Ye polar stars of every daring mind,
“Vast is the object why we congregate,
“Deep as dark Hades—high as Heav'n elate!

“Sages, Philosophers, illumin'd Powers,
“Princes of Arts, the prostrate world is yours;
“Let your fraternal arms mankind embrace,
“Illuminate and rule the human race;—
“Awake those men from knowledge long restrain'd,
“Whose souls debasing Avarice hath stain'd;
“Call on those tribes to Science long averse—
“All Drapers, Grocers, Printers, Writers fierce:
“They'll hail you as the hopeless mariner
“Some island smiling o'er the deep afar;—
“Then they'll lament in Philosophic strains,
“How long they've labour'd after paltry gains,
“Without some Scientific art display'd,
“In giving what was sold, or taking what was paid.”

With wonderment profound the brethren hear,
And utter their applause with ruff and cheer.—

“And oh! how long,”—he added sad and slow—
Through stifled sighs his faltering accents flow—
“And oh! how long, in this barbaric Isle,
“Have men of manners rough and morals vile,
“Crush'd, with despotic arm, the female race,
“And doom'd them to unmerited disgrace!
“Have they not intellect?—Oh, Sages deep,
“'Tis not enough o'er Woman's wrongs to weep;
“'Tis yours to bid, with kindly soothing voice,
“The lovely, injured Fair-ones to rejoice!
“Fling wide your gates—invite them here to shine,
“And Beauty's rose with Wisdom's flower entwine!

“I see with holy fire their spirits burn,
“As leaning on our arms they home return;
“I see them meet Philosophy to talk,
“At sipping tea, or at a Sunday's walk;

“No more in deep discussions are they mute;
“Yea, even our infants lisp “The Institute!”

Out burst their loud acclaim with mingled roar,
As raving surges lash the foaming shore;
He waves his hand to end their plaudits hoarse,
And thus unfolds the limits of their course:

“We first the high Philosophy of heaven
“Shall teach—the mighty stars in radiance driven
“Along the depths of the cerulean sky,
“Their nature, names, and future destiny:—
“Then Rhetoric, and the long train of thought.
“From inward caves of cogitation brought:—
“Then Elocution, with its magic strain,
“A while our mental raptures shall detain:—
“Next Chymistry, and its mysterious hand,
“By which the wizard Nature is trepann'd!”

Then Morals, Law, and many another theme
The Sage pourtrays in Scientific scheme;
As the rapt traveller upon thy mount,
O high Ben Lomond, lingering, strives to count
The hills that rise in prospect to his eye,
Towering and towering till in heaven they die;
So he his piercing and prophetic glance
Far into future times did keen advance,
And saw the labours of the Institute,
In varied shade and figure, all upshoot.—

He ceas'd:—Yet still each Sage's greedy ear
Incumbent seem'd the wondrous strain to hear!
Still, still on him each spirit-speaking eye
Was bent so keen, so long, so fixedly—
So gap'd the group, with shoulders forward thrown,
You would have sworn each figure changed to stone!

At length, tho' not with sackbut, harp, or lute,
They rise to sing Dunedin's Institute:
First J--- struck the key, him W--- join'd,
Illustrious R--- did not lag behind;
Grave W---, deep historic R---,
And the two M*c's bass'd with a deeper tone;
And many a sage, with name unmeet for rhyme,
Join'd with sonorous throat the mighty chime:
They shout, and still the burden of their song,
“The Institute!” “The Institute!” the echoing roofs prolong.

The Genius, listening on the chimney high ,
Took up the song with dread unearthly cry,

And from immortal bag-pipes pour'd the strain,
Till all the trembling turrets groan'd again!—
The sound, uprising from the College roof,
Floats o'er Dunedin's garrets far aloof;
Where lours the Castle grimly from his rocks;
And where high Arthur proudly overlooks
The wave of Duddinsgton's romantic lake,
Embower'd with fenny marge and tangled brake;
And thence along the deep-resounding shore,
To high Tantallan and to Stirling hoar,
Where Forth far winding waves his snaky tail,
As loath to leave that sweet enamell'd vale;
And where the Pentlands and the Lammermuir
Rear their bleak summits to the welkin pure,
The “Institute” is heard and repercuss'd,
Till far in distant echoings 'tis lost.—

Each caddie starts—each watchman from the ground
Leaps wildly—marvelling at the sacred sound;
The “Institute!” he mutters and repeats
To forlorn wanderer of the nightly streets:
Alone upon his early field, the hind
Feels unknown raptures in his simple mind:
Far in the depths of some sequester'd vale,
Where opening wild-flowers scent the morning gale,
The wandering cottage maiden faintly hears
The blissful sound fall sweetly on her ears:
Even the stern hunter, on his barren hill,
Amid the solitary wild is still,
Lists the new sound, unmindful of his game,
And, wondering, feels his savage heart grow tame;
His hounds prick up their ears and yelp forth their acclaim!—

Ah! what a mystic universe is this,
How oft the genuine agences we miss,
Or, stumbling on the springs of least avail,
Think by our cobweb threads the heavens to scale!
For lo! to sapient Sire or ardent Youth,
This Tale will prove there's scarce a word of truth
In all Philosophers as yet have told,
In modern days, or in the days of old.—
While stars and planetary fires arise,
To shed their glories o'er the midnight skies,
While seasons roll in harmony complete,
While day and night vicissitudes repeat,
While tempests strew with wrecks th'infuriate sea,
Or calmness smiles upon the flowery lea;
Dream'st thou of mighty springs and giant powers,
Seen by the Sage in Nature's secret bowers?—

'Tis fable all—some little emmet cause
Suspends or guides the universal laws;
So nicely is this lofty fabric join'd,
Should but some buzzing fly thy taper blind,
Perchance the sun and stars would roll in gloom,
And man and nature hasten to their tomb!—
So in the story of the learned world,
Were all its secret chronicles unfurl'd,
'Tis not the mind by lofty genius fir'd,
That bodies forth the deeds by men admir'd,
But feebler souls, by time and chance evolv'd,
Perform what fate-born Nature hath resolv'd.

Ardua tecta petit stabuli, et de culmine summo
Pastorale canit signum, cornuque recurvo
Tartaream intendit vocem; qua protenus omne
Contremuit nemus, et silvæ intonuere profundæ:
Audiit et Triviæ longè lacus, audiit amnis
Sulfureâ Nar albus aquâ, fontesque Velini.

VIRG. ÆN. VII.

L'ENVOI.

To squabbling school-boys, and to bearded men,
Old maids and bachelors, and lovers vain;
Fathers and mothers, pedagogues of schools;
To courtiers, clowns, philosophers, and fools,
Thus have I sung, in bold adventurous lay,
The wondrous Birth of this eventful day:
I've sung the rising Star—the troubled Sky—
The Mouse in labour—and the Mountain high.

A little while, and lo, another Song,
In rapid verse, your pleasure shall prolong:
We've seen the Mountain raise its craggy head,
The rising Planet glow with brighter red;

Rest we a space,—and then I shall unfold
How the new Planet o'er the heavens roll'd;—
What animals along the mountain's brow,
Did fiercely howl or sorrowfully low;
And what they eat amid the scroggy wild,
And how they chew'd the cud when they were fill'd:—
These in my next I'll faithfully display;
I ween you see my allegoric way,—
The Star—the Heaven—the Mouse—the Mountain, suit
The Birth and Being of the Institute.

Another part—and then I'll hush my tongue—
Another part I sing a prophet's song,
In awful strain which mortal never heard,
How doors of future ages are unbarr'd!
How th'Institute with sweet, heart-cheering tone,
Shall wake the Negro, 'neath the fiery Zone,

And even teach the frozen blood to glow
Of Lapland Savage, 'midst eternal snow!—
The last effects of this enormous birth,
Thro' island, country-town, and inland firth,
On shepherds, fishers, smugglers, gipseys, hinds,
On birds, and beasts, and fishes of all kinds,
In strain sublimely sweet I will rehearse,
And weave my fame in everlasting verse.

Even now, in depths of ages unreveal'd,
In visions bright from mortal ken conceal'd,
I see my shade in radiant triumph rise,
Like seraph soaring to his native skies!
Innumerous people raise a loud acclaim,
And bending hymn the Demi-god of fame!