Absurdities in prose and verse. Written and Illustrated By A. Crowquill [i.e. C. R. Forrester] |
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AN ODE TO Mr. JAMES ATKINSON, Prince of Perfumers, AND IMPORTER OF RUSSIAN BEARS' GREASE. |
 | Absurdities |  |
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AN ODE TO Mr. JAMES ATKINSON, Prince of Perfumers, AND IMPORTER OF RUSSIAN BEARS' GREASE.
“Larding
the lean earth as he puffs along.”
1.
Hail! Man of Grease!Whose study and whose trade is
To compound washes for the ladies;
May thy fame increase!
And every lady,
In age or hey-day,
Smile on and patronize thee,
And show they prize thee
With a zeal,
Ardent as patriot's feel—
Or such as each loyal friend of liberty bears Greece!
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2.
O! wonderful Magician!That giv'st to wrinkled age a plump and rosy youth;
In truth,
Thou art a most profound physician!
Ladies are grateful, and will laud thee,
And reward thee;
For many know,
To thy superior skill they owe,
('Tis true!)
Their winning graces and their hairs too!
How many a plump old duchess, erst quite grey,
Exhibits now dark raven locks on levee-day;
Her praise (unbounded tho' it be) can never err,
For thou (who liv'st for others) dyed for her.
3.
Sweet Man of Essences!Whom Fashion leads;
That night and morn,
Unwearied, labour'st to adorn
Those natural excrescences,
Men's heads;
E'en to the Northern Pole, whose minions roam,
To catch fat bears to grease our polls at home!
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Of many a whisker'd blade,
Who struts in polish'd steel,
And rattles spurs on pavement in Pall Mall,
How much he owes thine aid,
For all the hair his lip and chin reveal!
And thou may'st tell it too without a vaunt,
And meet their angry glances steady—
Thee, their loud blust'ring cannot daunt,
For thou hast bearded them already.
4.
Bright Luminary!That shine'st thro' fogs of envy quite transparent!
A loadstar, breaking thro' the clouds,
To those
(Or friends or foes)
Who, like some poor lorn bark bereft of sails and shrouds,
Which o'er the foaming billow rolls,
Ride on life's tempestuous seas beneath bare polls!
And lastly, aye, and this I call
The kindest deed of all—
Thou dost bestow
(I know)
On gay bald batchelors, young hairs-apparent!
| Absurdities | |