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Cheshire Jumpers.
I
I ask'd in much amazement, as I took my morning ride,“What means this monster meeting, that collects at Highwayside?
Who are ye? and what strange event this gathering crowd excites?
Are ye scarlet men of Babylon, or mounted Mormonites?”
96
II
A bearded man on horseback answered blandly with a smile,—“Good Sir, no Canters are we, though we canter many a mile;
Nor will you find a Ranter here amongst our merry crew,
Though if you seek a Roarer, there may chance be one or two.
III
“With Shakers and with Quakers no connection Sir, have we;We are not Plymouth Brothers, Cheshire Jumpers though we be;
'Tis mine between two champions bold to judge, if judge I can,
And settle which, o'er hedge and ditch, will prove the better man.
IV
“Mark well these two conditions, he who falls upon the field,Or he whose horse refuses twice, the victory must yield.”
As thus he spake he strok'd his beard, and bade the champions go;
His beard was black as charcoal, but their faces white as snow.
97
V
The ladies wave their kerchiefs as the rival jumpers start,A smile of such encouragement might nerve the faintest heart;
The crowd that follow'd after with good wishes cheer'd them on,
Some cried, “Stick to it, Thomas;” others shouted, “Go it, John!”
VI
Awake to competition, and alive to any game,From Manchester and Liverpool the speculators came;
They calculated nicely every chance of loss or gain;
Some stak'd their cash on cotton, some preferr'd the sugar-cane.
VII
Bold Thomas took precedence, as a proper man to lead,And straightway at a hedgerow cop he drove his gallant steed;
He's off—he's on—he's over—is bold Thomas in his seat?
Yes, the rider's in his saddle, and the horse is on his feet!
98
VIII
Make way for John! the Leicester Don! John clear'd it far and wide,And scornfully he smil'd on it when landed t'other side;
The prelude thus accomplish'd without loss of life or limb,
John's backers, much embolden'd, offer two to one on him.
IX
Now John led off; the choice again was fix'd upon a cop,A rotten ditch in front of it, a rail upon the top;
While shouts of “Bono Johnny!” to the echoing hills were sent,
He wink'd his eye, and at it, and right over it he went.
X
Hold him lightly, Thomas, lightly, give him freedom ere he bound,Why shape your course with so much force, to run yourself aground?
Thus against a Russian rampart goes a British cannon ball:
Were Thomas at Sebastopol, how speedily 'twould fall
99
XI
Would you gain that proud pre-eminence on which your rival stands,Upraise your voice, uprouse your horse, but slacken both your hands;
'Tis vain, 'tis vain, his steed again stands planted in the ditch,
The game is o'er, he tries no more, who makes a second hitch.
XII
Thus, unlike the wars of Lancaster and York, in days of yore,The Chester strife with Leicester unexpectedly was o'er;
We else had learnt which method best insures us from a fall,
The Chester on-and-off step, or the Leicester, clearing all?
XIII
Whether breeches white, or breeches brown, the more adhesive be,And which the more effective spur, Champagne or Eau-de-vie?
These, alas! and other problems which their progress had reveal'd,
Remain unsettled questions for the future hunting field.
100
XIV
One lesson learn, young ladies all, who came to see the show,Remember, in the race of life, once only to say “No;”
This moral, for your warning, to my ditty I attach,
May ye ne'er by two refusals altogether lose a match!
1854.
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