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Occasional Epilogue,
TO “RULE A WIFE AND HAVE A WIFE,” Spoken by Major Hart, in the character of Michael Peres, at the Canterbury Theatre, May, 1821, the performance being for the benefit of Mr. G. Questead and family.
(Behind.)Speak the address? Who, me? I can't indeed!
Prompter.
Why, sir, your name's announced, so pray proceed!
They'll grow impatient!
Major H.
Well, upon my word,
Was ever anything half so absurd!
You can't be serious?
Prompter.
Sir, 'tis very true.
Major H.
O! mighty pretty.
(Enters with a paper.)
Ladies, pray what say you?
My name's announced, he says, and I not know it!
And then what's here! The deuce is in the poet—
6
Upon my life I couldn't speak a line;
Observe these lineaments—peruse each feature—
Ladies, is this a face for doleful metre?
Say, am I fit to cry “alack for pity,”
Or quaver out some lamentable ditty,
Recite a dismal tale of woe on woes,
While sad complainings murmur through my nose?
But hold! I may be wrong—methinks you smile,
Perhaps “I do mistake me all this while.”
By Jupiter, it may be worth the trying—
How I should like to set you all a-crying!
But then I'm shy—too diffident by half,—
Faith, I will venture it, but pray don't laugh.
Thus, then, the bard.
(Reads.)
No common claims to-night
Thalia's vot'ries to her fane invite;
The sympathizing Muse, to Pity true,
Appeals to mild Benevolence—and you—
Warmly implores your gen'rous aid to raise
The hopes of him who once knew better days:
Nor vain the call, for when did Beauty's ear
Affliction's suppliant voice disdain to hear,
Or when did Beauty's bounty fail to flow
To soothe Misfortune's child, and heal his woe?
Ye who have viewed on this eventful night
The manly Leon guard a husband's right,
Or sat and gaily smiled with genuine glee
At cozen'd Peres (that's a hit at me!),
By his own arts and vanity betray'd,
And Estifania's wiles (confound the jade!),
Our task perform'd, reflect with cheerful heart,
Ye too have play'd, and play'd a noble part!
And O! may still such parts your minds engage,
Through Life's great drama on the world's wide stage!
And when, with many a well-play'd act between,
Ye reach at length, the last, the closing scene,
Then shall the good and wise your efforts cheer,
And mark your exit with th' approving tear;
No snarling critic vex with envious brawls,
But Heaven applaud you, when the curtain falls.
Thalia's vot'ries to her fane invite;
The sympathizing Muse, to Pity true,
Appeals to mild Benevolence—and you—
Warmly implores your gen'rous aid to raise
The hopes of him who once knew better days:
Nor vain the call, for when did Beauty's ear
Affliction's suppliant voice disdain to hear,
Or when did Beauty's bounty fail to flow
To soothe Misfortune's child, and heal his woe?
7
The manly Leon guard a husband's right,
Or sat and gaily smiled with genuine glee
At cozen'd Peres (that's a hit at me!),
By his own arts and vanity betray'd,
And Estifania's wiles (confound the jade!),
Our task perform'd, reflect with cheerful heart,
Ye too have play'd, and play'd a noble part!
And O! may still such parts your minds engage,
Through Life's great drama on the world's wide stage!
And when, with many a well-play'd act between,
Ye reach at length, the last, the closing scene,
Then shall the good and wise your efforts cheer,
And mark your exit with th' approving tear;
No snarling critic vex with envious brawls,
But Heaven applaud you, when the curtain falls.
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