 | The Ingoldsby Lyrics |  |
Encomium Longanum.
You may talk of your Celsus, Machaons, and Galens,
Physicians who cured all incurable ailings,
But ne'er yet was doctor applauded in song
Like that erudite phœnix, the great Doctor Long.
Physicians who cured all incurable ailings,
But ne'er yet was doctor applauded in song
Like that erudite phœnix, the great Doctor Long.
Such astonishing cures he performs I assure ye,
Some think him a god—all a Lusus Naturæ,
The whole animal system, no matter how wrong,
Is set right in a moment by great Doctor Long.
Some think him a god—all a Lusus Naturæ,
The whole animal system, no matter how wrong,
Is set right in a moment by great Doctor Long.
128
Through all regions his vast reputation has flown,
Through the torrid, the frigid, and temperate zone;
The wretch, just expiring, springs healthy and strong
From his bed at one touch of the great Doctor Long.
Through the torrid, the frigid, and temperate zone;
The wretch, just expiring, springs healthy and strong
From his bed at one touch of the great Doctor Long.
His skill to experience, what potentates ran—
The Pope, the Grand Llama, the King of Japan!
The Great Chinese autocrat, mighty Fon Whong,
Was cured of the ‘doldrums’ by fam'd Doctor Long!
The Pope, the Grand Llama, the King of Japan!
The Great Chinese autocrat, mighty Fon Whong,
Was cured of the ‘doldrums’ by fam'd Doctor Long!
In each serious case he considers as well as
Doctor Horace, “Naturam cum furcâ expellas,”
“Dame Nature” (i.e.) “you must poke with a prong,”
Pretty poking she gets from the great Doctor Long.
Doctor Horace, “Naturam cum furcâ expellas,”
“Dame Nature” (i.e.) “you must poke with a prong,”
Pretty poking she gets from the great Doctor Long.
He cures folks à merveille, the French people cry;
The Greeks all pronounce him θειοτατον τι.
Dutch and Germans adore him—the Irish among,
“To be sure he's the dandy!” Go bragh, Doctor Long!
The Greeks all pronounce him θειοτατον τι.
Dutch and Germans adore him—the Irish among,
“To be sure he's the dandy!” Go bragh, Doctor Long!
King Chabert has proved, since restored from his panic,
There's small harm in quaffing pure hydrocyanic;
But he never found out it was good for the throng,
When scrubb'd on their stomachs by great Doctor Long.
There's small harm in quaffing pure hydrocyanic;
But he never found out it was good for the throng,
When scrubb'd on their stomachs by great Doctor Long.
129
A machine he's invented, stupendous as new,
To sweep one's inside as you'd sweep out a flue;
No climbing-boy, urged by the sound of the thong,
Can brush out your vitals like great Doctor Long.
To sweep one's inside as you'd sweep out a flue;
No climbing-boy, urged by the sound of the thong,
Can brush out your vitals like great Doctor Long.
Her Grace feeling qualmish one morning of late,
After breaking poor Jeffries' the box-keeper's pate;
A bumper of Nantz, in a cup of souchong,
Was prescribed as a tonic by great Doctor Long.
After breaking poor Jeffries' the box-keeper's pate;
A bumper of Nantz, in a cup of souchong,
Was prescribed as a tonic by great Doctor Long.
Garter King
has assign'd, like a sad “fleering Jack,”
A duck for a crest, with the motto, “Quack, quack;”
To the proud name of St. John (it should be St. Johng,
Which would rhyme with the surname of great Doctor Long).
A duck for a crest, with the motto, “Quack, quack;”
To the proud name of St. John (it should be St. Johng,
Which would rhyme with the surname of great Doctor Long).
Great house-painting, sign-painting, face-painting Sage!
Thou Raffaelle of physic, thou pride of our age!
Alas! when thou diest, and the bell goes ding-dong,
Sure Hygeia herself will expire with her Long.
Thou Raffaelle of physic, thou pride of our age!
Alas! when thou diest, and the bell goes ding-dong,
Sure Hygeia herself will expire with her Long.
130
Then fill every glass, drink in grand coalition,
“Long life long await this long-headed physician,
Long, long may Fame sound with her trumpet and gong
Through each nation the name of the great Doctor Long!”
“Long life long await this long-headed physician,
Long, long may Fame sound with her trumpet and gong
Through each nation the name of the great Doctor Long!”
Sir George Nayler, Knt., Garter King-at-Arms, etc., a signal example of the fallacious foundation of the proverb, which saith, “Grocers do not like plums.” We counted yesterday, on his armorial majesty's carriage and harness, eight-and-twenty coronets, two-and-twenty garters, and eighteen crests, besides full coats of arms, mantles, etc., as the story-book says, “all very grand.”
| The Ingoldsby Lyrics | |